Day 40 I Do Believe In God and Prayer

I am getting around to this waaay later than I would like. I got caught napping last semester and got myself a D in Economic Analysis, so I am hypersensitive to my grades this semester. I had only gotten one B before that and it bothered the hell out of me, so think what a D did! So this year, I am staying on top of my hybrid classes and their electronic assignments and getting my A's back baby!

I have had two days in a row of around 1300 calories, not by way of planning,I just seem to have a wife that is getting the whole calorie thing and making better suppers in the spirit of the lifestyle change. I had around 635 calories by the time I got home. Kathy had cooked me a boneless skinless chicken breast and a cup of green beans for supper! I was ecstatic to have such a good and filling meal and only spend 400 calories on it! I then snacked on something I been craving and since I was only at 1045 calories for the day, I went for it. I had me a tablespoon and a half of peanut butter smeared on the pita bread that Sean and I love so much! I topped that off with a glass of milk, only now, I drink 1% baby! Woo hoo! So I was almost content but I decided that I would also eat me one of those low fat sugar free puddings Lauren has been munching on lately. It wasn't bad, especially for 60 calories, but it wasn't great either. I am on the fence.

So I was out getting a couple of mile walk around the neighborhood this morning. I swear to you folks, I had no idea that I was a slow walker solely because I was fat! I killed lap times again this morning. I got two miles in at just under 28 minutes!! I was so stoked! But while walking, I revisited something I have thought about before and just haven't gotten around to discussing on here before. I hope not to offend anyone that reads this blog, but if I do, then so be it. I am a man of faith. I believe strongly in God and his never ending love for us, and Jesus who died on the cross to save us. So here is my story. Before this journey started, I had tried in the recent past to get back on the "diet wagon" but for whatever reason, I just couldn't get no traction. I would have limited successes only to sabotage them or just give up without any reason. I was so downtrodden about my failures. I began to ask God to help me, to get me that spark back, to make me understand how important this is. I was mad at myself for being selfish and not looking out for my family and their future like I should. I would get so sad when I imagined me dead and Kathy trying to make it without me. But I just couldn't get right in my mind to get going. So I prayed and I prayed multiple times to Him. Please God, don't let my ignorance and hard headedness keep me from the job I was put on this earth to do. Enter AOL. I am not an AOL subscriber. The only reason I had any contact with AOL is it was my job to monitor all the e mail addresses for the law firm I worked at throughout the day to see if any e mails needed to be routed. Well when you log into AOL, they have a few stories they are headlining that day. I typically didn't pay much attention to them other than when I was waiting for the screen to change to e mail mode rather than story mode. Well that day, the story about Sean scrolled across before the screen changed and I glanced it for just a second. I was intrigued, so after checking the e mail, I went back for Sean's story. I read the first paragraph and realized I needed to forward this link to my home e mail and check it out that night. I did, and I swear my eyes were opened! Sean's blog made me see the forest without being impeded by the trees, it made me realize that I had just been overthinking the process and having the wrong end goal. I wanted to get skinny, but not change the way I ate afterwards. I realized that day, it wasn't gonna happen that way. I had to make a lifestyle change. Seeing all those posts and knowing where Sean was after such a long journey gave me that glimmer of hope, that "I can get there from here, if I just try" feeling. It was the sign from God I had prayed for over and over, and I wasn't gonna pass on it. Now, I saw that article on a Wednesday I think. I didn't start right away because I had a trip to Texas for a funeral and knew that it wouldn't be the best time to do that. But I marinated in the idea of starting a blog all weekend until Sunday night when we got home. I did it, I went for it! I started my blog that night and started to count calories for real the next morning. I have not looked back since and I can honestly say, I believe God has been a big part of keeping me on my path. He has given me the countenance and wisdom and want to that I asked for and I plan on putting it to good use!

I am a witness to the great things God can do if you ask. I hope you are too. So before I got to bed tonight, I am gonna pray. I am gonna pray for all the folks out there who are lost and want to be found, who don't know how easy it is if you just let it be. I am gonna pray that they too stumble upon Sean Anderson's Blog and get the much needed shove in the right direction I got from it.