At my new job, the building is like 85 percent picture windows. Today I was walking my laptop down to the computer guy at the end of the building. He was trying to get my computer to talk to the network so I can use the wireless printer. He did battle with it all day, but he had to concede at the end of the day and promised to take up the fight tomorrow. Well on one of my several trips back and forth, I happened to look into the window and notice me. I have looked at myself in the mirror a million times since I have started this, but for whatever reason, this glance hit me the hardest. Do I see a skinny guy yet? No. But I also don't see that guy that looks like he is carrying a full term child, and is wagging (yes literally) his belly out in front of him. I love that guy I saw today. He was there the whole time, but I just had to go look for him. There is another, thinner and healthier guy in there too. He is hiding, but lurking and looking to get out of the great hole I dug for him. Slowly, surely, I am lowering that ladder down to him. Hold on guy.
So I haven't talked about it yet, but I have a great mother in law! She is so determined to go ride rides at Silver Dollar City in Branson, she is taking my family and paying the whole way for a weekend! I am really excited to go, but I have a conundrum. I have to make a hard decision between now and then and I have weighed(no pun intended) some of the possible consequences and repercussions of this decision. So I was thinking it honestly looks to me like I have dropped enough inches off this frame to fit most, if not all , of the thrill rides. However, I have two reservations. One being I really want to have a grand triumphant return to Silver Dollar City in March after a long winter of weight loss and healthy exercise and eating. I want to hear trumpets blaring and angels singing as I proudly wait in each line of each ride I have either had to get off of or didn't ride for fear of having to get off of it. I want that so bad! I can taste it! I don't want to take that away from me this weekend. Two being, I have one of two things that could happen on these rides this weekend. I could have greatly underestimated my inches lost, get in line for these things, and still have the disappointment of not fitting at all, or possible having to crush my skeleton to fit in. ORRRRR, I could fit in each ride well, and suddenly think "I got this!" and then lose some of my momentum and drive because I conquered one of my main challenges to myself. I am honestly not drama'ing this up (Lauren hates that term, I tell her to stop drama'ing it up when she is trying to pretend she is going to puke for eating something healthy!)I really am at a point of I can't decide. My initial thought is to ride the rides I have fit on recently, still enjoy myself, and walk away a happy camper in that regard, saving the triumphant return for March. But I really love thrill rides dang it! I welcome any thoughts you may have on this subject.
On to my daily "what I ate". It is kinda crazy, with this new job, I have not lost the urge to exercise, but I have lost the desire to eat during the day. I literally have forgotten the mid morning snack two days in a row, and got my afternoon tuna in late both days. Just not hungry and not looking to eat. So my calorie count has been low when I get home. I took care of that pretty quick yesterday with meatloaf, but today it was tuna wraps in that pita bread and then washed down with cantaloupe, a pickle from the jar mother in law made us, some salsa and chips, half of the chips I threw away and finally I wanted a bit more protein so I ate a couple of ounces of the left over meatloaf from last night. After all that, I am at 1440 calories. I likey. I could get used to this. Oh and one more anxiety this trip has caused me. I was debating the idea of weighing off cycle. I was gonna weigh tomorrow and see if I had made my next goal already. If the scale said 269 for me, I was going to ride the rides. But I decided no, I like the consistency I have been able to build up in my new lifestyle and I am gonna stick with it. I believe Sean nailed it when he said that consistency is the one thing lacking in many "diets", that urge to "reward your good day with a treat", that is poison my friend. It is going exactly against what it is you are trying to do, stop eating irresponsibly. I know weighing is not the same as giving myself a treat day, but as an athlete you get alot of superstitions and it just kinda sticks with you as you go on to being a non athlete. I have been successful doing what I am doing so far, so no good reason to change that!
I feel terrible that I haven't really done much blog visiting today. I have been busy all dang day and then had to come home and do some more work. I got Kathy's tires rotated for the trip too, so that is one less task. I think I have some collateral now to convince her to pack me up for the trip dang it! I hate packing! I promise I will try to do better tomorrow. I love seeing all the great stories and often draw a great deal of ideas and inspiration from many of them. I like every one of the ones I follow too. Most have different tones and it just goes to show, there isn't just one way to go about implementing a life change, there are several. So my bloggy type peeps, keep on inspiring me, and I will try to do the same for you.
Well, I wish I could offer a simple answer. I guess the best one is to do what feels right and good to you. But, whichever way you go, be willing to accept the consequences without it causing unwanted side effects.
ReplyDeleteIf you decide to try and ride all the rides you can, be ready for that feeling if it doesn't work out. Are you ready to meet that head on and not let it derail you? If so, go for it. But, IF you are really worried that the disappointment and embarrassment of not being able to fit on rides you thought maybe you could will cause you to feel so sad and mad and discouraged that you'll stop, it isn't worth it.
You are only 30 days in. For me, this is always a tenuous time. I always thought, "I got this. I've lost 20 pounds. I deserve a treat or reward." If I hit a block, that was it. Over and out.
On the other hand, you are doing awesome. AWESOME. And if you know that either way it turns out this weekend that Monday you'll be back to the exercise and diet, go for it. What's the harm?
You are doing a great job, and don't worry I will be fixing something nice and healthy for dinner tomorrow night as well!!! I hope it turns out yummy!! Can't wait to see you and Kathy and Lauren!!
ReplyDeleteIf I were in your position, I'd not go on the rides and wait until next year. Because if you try to do the ride and you don't fit, that would throw me into a terrible mood and ruin the day and probably ruin the "diet" as well. But that's just be...I suspect that you are a much more level-headed person than me!
ReplyDeleteI would go now and have a great time with the family and if I couldn't ride some of them, that's okay. And if I could ride them ALL, that would be awesome! I would still plan for my big session next year.
ReplyDeleteDon't go with any expectations other than to have a good time. You can do it, Shane. You are bigger than any carnival ride. Don't you dare come back here on Monday and tell us a certain ride whipped you! That is not what it's all about.
Again, go and have a blast. Focus on what's important for now, and keep on plan for the next time.
Just my 2 cents worth.
HI Shane,
ReplyDeleteIt has been a while since I have been in the blogging world. Thanks so much for your comment about the link I had about your inspirational post. The fact that you wrote to me and went public on your own blog means a great deal. I truly believe we are all in the together. Blogging has been so empowering to me on this journey.
I am thrilled to read that Kathy is going to go with you on this journey (please tell her I am rooting for her too!). How fabulous to have your life partner doing this with you. Together you will both make such a difference for your daughter and her own growing understanding of eating healthy and living a more healthy life style. I commend you both.
I want to congratulate you on your new job, too. It sounds fabulous. I have not yet has a mirror reflection, but am looking forward to one day (and soon!) seeing a new me reflecting back!
I am one who thinks that holding out carrots is good motivation for us. So, as far as the thrill rides go, I would say, do what you can on this trip and ENJOY every second! You have worked very hard in uncovering this new YOU-so treat yourself to something you really enjoy. In spring, you can do it again. Your post indicated that you know which rides will work for you-so definitely do these and for now, avoid the one you tried to get into with Lauren (save that one for the sweet success victory when you go back in the spring).
Have a great weekend!
Michele
Well Shane,
ReplyDeleteI think it's most important to remember that you're going to have plenty of victories along this journey so embrace each one, but remind yourself that it will keep getting better. It does keep getting better. :)
Enjoy yourself, and keep heading down this road. It's a great ride, but there's nothing wrong with enjoying a few great rides at Silver Dollar City too. :)
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