Losing It For The Family

Losing It For The Family

Saturday, July 22, 2017

The Wagon Has Steps

So yesterday, I was not really proud of myself. I didn't handle the first part of the day well, and blew a large portion of my calories on breakfast. I was hungry on the way to work, so that was part of it. And I didn't finish the day well either. I guess you could say Friday was a day of falling off the wagon. The good news? That wagon has steps. You can easily get back on it.

Today was everything yesterday wasn't. I have been spot on with the calorie budget, I have remained active and productive today which probably is the biggest help to a good Saturday. I was also dealing with the fact my wife is out of town. I don't know why but historically, my wife's absence has brought on binge tendencies. Not today though!

I think that those steps on the wagon, they get a little bigger every time I do something I am proud of. Yesterday, for the second time in a week, I threw food away!! I know to most, that is a so what deal. But for me, it is huge! Part of my obsession with food is that when I pay for it, I want to clean that plate or finish that container. If I at a buffet, it is about getting plenty of food for the money I paid!

I have one other bit of news. I am do a trial run on Plexus for this month. I am not generally a gimmick guy, but I will spend a $100 to see if it may help me along my journey. If it does, great. If not, I tried.

Thursday, July 20, 2017

Over the Hump

I'm pretty sure that everybody who has ever taken up the challenge of turning around their unhealthy eating and lack of exercise lifestyle, there was always a huge hump to finally get over after the excitement of it all wore down. For me, a Monday starter, it is almost always Thursday. I begin the week gung ho and its all new. I'm all revved up from sitting down and planning, researching and whatever else I have done to make sure "this is the time, this is when I get it right!"

Today is Thursday, and I took action early on to make sure that I took that knowledge and went to war with the Thursday Curse. I texted a friend, I posted it on my Twitter and talked about in a Facebook group I am in. I prayed on it, and I started writing 273 randomly through out the day. That is the number I hope to see on the scale tomorrow.

More than once throughout the day, I almost gave in and had crap for lunch, or I almost decided to binge and get rid of that hungry feeling late afternoon. The Good Lord and some planning were looking over me, and I have made it past the danger zone I do breve. Before I started typing this, I had an apple with peanut butter. That will still leave me under my calorie goal for the day. And it will also signify me "getting over the hump" today. Challenge number one accepted and successfully completed. I don't think anybody who contributed to my success today reads this, but if you do,thank you!!

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Pay Day

I have a 15 year old daughter, and she drives me nuts! I can't get her to do her chores she has had since she was 9 for nothing in the world. And here is the thing, I keep telling her that once she does a good job for a couple of weeks and shows me she is now choosing to be responsible, I will begin to give her money for doing those chores correctly. She literally has refused for 6 or so years now! Will even tell you, it isn't fun, and it is worth it to her to not do it and not get paid. Here is the thing, it isn't a power struggle thing, it is me trying to teach her both responsibility and the fact that when you do good work, it pays off in the end.

Today, I realized that to some degree, I am being a hypocrite to her. Because look at my physical health and my eating habits, and you can see, I am neither doing good work or being responsible. I am doing exactly what she is doing that drives me mad.I know I could benefit from working out, eating better, and changing my attitude towards food, but I am just choosing not to, it isn't fun.

I was getting dressed after my workout today, and when I put my pants on, I noticed that they buttoned a little easier, and when I did up my belt, I noticed the pants still fit looser even with my belt. That to me is what I would characterize as pay day. I have been good for 4 days straight, and already, the benefits, or pay day, have started to show up. The best part of it all, is that my realization today, had nothing to do with a number the scale gave me! Historically, I have lived and died by the scale. I have been able to jog, and went up 30 pounds on my bench press, able to do pull ups even though I never have in my life, but when I went to weigh, the number wasn't what where I wanted it, and I quit on me. Today, it shows I know what pay day really means, and that am growing in my long standing and stop and start journey towards better health.

I work out at the Police Department's gym because as a prosecutor, we work hand in hand with them and they granted us access to it. I was leaving and stopped to talk to the evidence tech about some stuff. We veered into weight loss and she said something that I liked. She said she is not longer looking to be the beach body hottie who is able to admire herself in the mirror naked. She just wants to feel good about herself when she looks in the mirror fully clothed. And that is fair. I know you can be healthy at a higher weight, but when you are as big as I am, you kinda want to look somewhat more normal. If I can put on a shirt and shorts and not look pregnant anymore, I am good! Plus it is more likely that I will not have a heart attack if I get rid of the bulge in the belly!

So to close, losing weight is just like a job, you work and work and eventually you get paid. But if you decide to be absent from work, well, you don't get paid.

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Hide and Seek

Total honesty. In my dealings with others, I am always honest, even if it isn't to my benefit. So I guess the biggest question I have is why aren't I honest with myself? Why do I lie or hide the truth from myself?

I have both in the distant past, and recent past, played hide and seek with the truth. For example, after i lost the 100+ pounds but then I started law school. I noticed at some point that I was starting to put weight on. But I didn't do the right thing at 18 pounds gained. No, I decided that I would just eat better even if I couldn't exercise more. But I didn't, even though I tried to convince myself I was. I have envisioned that time I stepped on the scale and saw 214 up from 196 at least a thousand times. And I ask myself every time, whydidn't you just stope the bleeding there? Why didnt you get back on the horse right then? But that is the past. I have to move on.

Or today, when I almost made the conscious decision to not track the bottle of Mountain Dew I had with lunch. Why would I do that? My thought was to keep me from going over on calories on my budget for the day. Luckily, God spoke to my conscious and told me that was not gaining me anything but a first class ticket to failing again. So I traced it. And guess what. God fixed my numbers dilemma. My wife made a delicious dish for dinner tonight as she is wont to do. And the calorie count was so low on it, the soda didn't matter!

So this is the vow. Even if it isn't to my benefit, I will be honest with myself everyday. In my workout, in my food tracking, in my goal of getting more in the Word to help Him help me.

Oh and I also want to brag on Him and me again. I was in my office and one of the guys from the Juvenile Department made me aware tat there were cupcakes from the awesomeest cupcake place in town! I passed them on the way out and had that 30 seconds of looking at them trying to figure out which one I could convince myself was the least unhealthy. Suddenly, I disengaged, and walked out ! Granted, I am not a huge sweets fan. But this was a conscious decision that would have never took place last week.

Monday, July 17, 2017

Miracles Abound

Today had a lot of good stuff. I would even dare say a bit of a miracle of sorts.

The day started off with me getting the scale out so I can see where I am starting from. I kinda dreaded it, because I haven't been eating particularly well and definitely haven't been active either. The last time I weighed like a month ago, I weighed 279 pounds. When I weighed this morning,I expected to see 280 something. However, I was at 275! I have been eating well since Saturday morning,but I didn't expect that. I should also mention I had been given some Plexus samples from my cousin. I have been taking those those since Friday morning too. I decided today that I am going go ahead and order a 30day supply and see if that is really a game changer, while also eating more healthy and getting regular exercise.

But the scale was not the miracle. Me and a friend of mine made a lunch plan for today last week before I got all gung ho about changing things up, so I kept it. But what happened next is amazing. I ordered my usual, but today, I only ate half of the plate, and I even left the leftovers at the restaurant. I know to most folks, that is nothing. But the reality is I have a food obsession and addiction that is crazy. For me to leave food on a plate and leave the food behind was an intentional act on my part ,but I fully expected to fail. I would actually characterize my food obsession/addiction more or less an instinct. I have always cleaned my plate and if I couldn't, I boxed it up. Now the reality is that I always said it was for lunch tomorrow or dinner tonight. But instinct became to just finish it off when I got back to the office. I had lots of rationalizing that helped me throughout the years. I paid money for that, and I don't want to waste it. There are starving kids in Africa, etc etc. But they were really like te lies drug addicts tell folks to cover up their addiction. It was a way to keep up chasing the next fix. Was that half plate of food left over and not taken a cure all, will I never struggle again? No, but this is a start. No skyscraper was ever built in one day.

Sunday, July 16, 2017

Focus

Since I posted earlier today, I'm just using this post to respond to my phone reminder to post to my blog. Keeping the healthy lifestyle pursuit at the forefront. That will be the key.

The Next 10 Years

Kathy and I just celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary. We went to a very nice restaurant and had a very good and large steak. But at te end of the meal, we both lamented that we have spent our first ten years together out of shape and mostly unhealthy. So we have decided to set some goals for ourselves for the next 10 years. Doing better in the kitchen as well as in the gym, we are all set to actually support each other in our journey to better health. We want to set a better example for our younger two children than we did with Lauren and we hope that at some point in time, Lauren will be able to reach the mindset that better for you is an option that actually beats what is easier or more tasty.

One of the tools I intend on using is to start back dealin with my journey by writing. I dont' intend to publish it anywhere but here ,but if some folks happen to find my blog and want to follow it or interact with me, I'd be glad to do that as well. I had a previous entry in which I said I would set an alarm on my phone about blogging. And like many of my efforts before, I didn't follow through. So before I even started typing this, I set the alarm to remind me.

I also fired up the My Fitness Pal app, and have tracked every calorie so far today. I plan on also setting various alarms on my phone so that I will check when I am calories wise so far for the day, and that can remain at the forefront of my mind for a few weeks. Because I truly believe that is the biggest difference between the first days of this blog, and the recent days. I gave my weight loss and health gain efforts much more priority back then. It was constantly on my mind. Now, with my life so much bigger than it used to be, It barely even gets in here some days at all.

That's all I can think to write at the moment. It is early afternoon, and my alarm is set for 7 to write in the blog. I may type up a quick little blurb just to get the habit started again.