I often find myself talking about 2010-2011 when I get involved in a conversation about fitness. I feel like I need to let people know that I can be skinny (well skinnier anyway), I did it once!! (in actuality, in my adult life, it has been more like 5 times, but I digress.) Usually, after I have said that, I find myself later reflecting on how I was so successful, but somehow, once again, let it slip away. Why is it I keep letting food and laziness get the best of me? How can it happen so often? Why can't I just get healthy and stay healthy? As you can imagine, this brings me great stress and aggravation.
Those who know me personally, know that in the past 2+ years I have began a spiritual journey that has brought me closer to God and accepting that Jesus died for our sins and we only have to do two things: 1. believe in Him as our Savior, and 2. love unconditionally. So long story short, you need to walk in love, even with someone who is an enemy.
Without fail, every success that I have had in getting healthy, I set out with a battle mentality. It was me against food and sloth and I was going to win!! And I have won many battles, but clearly, food and sloth have won one more battle than me. It stands to reason, winning one more battle than your enemy means you won the war. So, going forth, I am calling a truce with food and sloth. I refuse to lose one more time, so I will not take up arms against them.
I will instead decide to follow what the title of my blog insinuates I was doing, even though I now realize I was not. I will go forward using love as my motivation. And not just my love for my immediate family, but my church family, and the great big family I am part of here on Earth. I am determined that I will get healthy not for my benefit, but for the benefit of my family at home. Kathy, Mom, Dad and Lauren have been so supportive of me in chasing my dream to be a lawyer. I owe it to Kathy to stick around as long as I can so that now that finances will not be so tight, she can enjoy the fruits of her labor in keeping me going. My mom and dad can now rest assured that it is much more likely that I will be able to help them financially in their old age. Lauren has a better shot of taking our family even one step further in using her gifts to make this world a better place. I am so glad that she will be the first of our family to never have lived the red neck white trash life into her adult years.
I want to get in shape so that I can continue to grow and enjoy relationships in my church family. I am so blessed to have found Momentum Church and it's members. I am in a church where I am accepted and loved and quite frankly I want to never have to let that go!! And this church is so community minded that it blows me away. I by myself am not able to do as much for those in need in the River Valley and I rely on my church to help me get those opportunities. I want to be in good health so that I can continue to do serve the River Valley through my church as long as possible.
As for the world at large, I have decided to take my role as the child of the one true King more seriously. I have shared my testimony with a few people, but I want to share it with many people!! And fair or not, this society has a prejudice against fat people. It is proven in studies that people just don't take a fat person as serious as a skinny person. The default opinion when you meet a new person that is fat, is that they are lazy, dumb, and undisciplined. So in order for me to spread the Gospel and be taken serious, it just makes sense that I do what is necessary to make myself more credible to those who need to hear the Word.
So once again, the war is over, and my mission was not accomplished. Tactically, it just makes sense to change my war plan to a peace plan. I will not psyche myself up for battle anymore, but humble myself each day, and ask that God walk with me to get to my goals so that I can better serve Him, my biological family, my church family, and my worldwide family.
Isaiah 40:31- for he that hopes in the Lord will renew his strength, he will fly on wings like and eagle, he will run and not grow weary, he will walk and not get faint.