Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Those who know me personally, know that in the past 2+ years I have began a spiritual journey that has brought me closer to God and accepting that Jesus died for our sins and we only have to do two things: 1. believe in Him as our Savior, and 2. love unconditionally. So long story short, you need to walk in love, even with someone who is an enemy.
Without fail, every success that I have had in getting healthy, I set out with a battle mentality. It was me against food and sloth and I was going to win!! And I have won many battles, but clearly, food and sloth have won one more battle than me. It stands to reason, winning one more battle than your enemy means you won the war. So, going forth, I am calling a truce with food and sloth. I refuse to lose one more time, so I will not take up arms against them.
I will instead decide to follow what the title of my blog insinuates I was doing, even though I now realize I was not. I will go forward using love as my motivation. And not just my love for my immediate family, but my church family, and the great big family I am part of here on Earth. I am determined that I will get healthy not for my benefit, but for the benefit of my family at home. Kathy, Mom, Dad and Lauren have been so supportive of me in chasing my dream to be a lawyer. I owe it to Kathy to stick around as long as I can so that now that finances will not be so tight, she can enjoy the fruits of her labor in keeping me going. My mom and dad can now rest assured that it is much more likely that I will be able to help them financially in their old age. Lauren has a better shot of taking our family even one step further in using her gifts to make this world a better place. I am so glad that she will be the first of our family to never have lived the red neck white trash life into her adult years.
I want to get in shape so that I can continue to grow and enjoy relationships in my church family. I am so blessed to have found Momentum Church and it's members. I am in a church where I am accepted and loved and quite frankly I want to never have to let that go!! And this church is so community minded that it blows me away. I by myself am not able to do as much for those in need in the River Valley and I rely on my church to help me get those opportunities. I want to be in good health so that I can continue to do serve the River Valley through my church as long as possible.
As for the world at large, I have decided to take my role as the child of the one true King more seriously. I have shared my testimony with a few people, but I want to share it with many people!! And fair or not, this society has a prejudice against fat people. It is proven in studies that people just don't take a fat person as serious as a skinny person. The default opinion when you meet a new person that is fat, is that they are lazy, dumb, and undisciplined. So in order for me to spread the Gospel and be taken serious, it just makes sense that I do what is necessary to make myself more credible to those who need to hear the Word.
So once again, the war is over, and my mission was not accomplished. Tactically, it just makes sense to change my war plan to a peace plan. I will not psyche myself up for battle anymore, but humble myself each day, and ask that God walk with me to get to my goals so that I can better serve Him, my biological family, my church family, and my worldwide family.
Isaiah 40:31- for he that hopes in the Lord will renew his strength, he will fly on wings like and eagle, he will run and not grow weary, he will walk and not get faint.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
I am kind of all over the place with thoughts as I sit down to write this post. So I may ramble, and I apologize if I do. I just like to get thoughts I have in black in white so they are real and not fleeting. I think that is what those of us that blog get from it, it is a way to make the ideas come to life, and therefore real. When you reserve your thoughts to the recesses of the mind, then they are too easy to forget or ignore.
So to kick off the ramble, I love billowy shirts. Well let me qualify that. I love billowy shirts that are size XL. See when I lost may way, I began to upsize my clothes again. Rather than digging my feet in and pulling back against the rope, I was drug up to the line ( a tug of war reference in case it isn't clear). But what finally made me dig in, made me fight was when it became obvious, evidenced by the fit of my XL shirts, that I was about to have to upsize again! That was the line in the sand I refused to be drug over. So now I am about a month and half in to eating better (not perfect yet but more on that later) and exercising regularly. Of all the things I could get the most excited about, none is greater than the realization that the XL shirt that was snug on you last month, now has a little bit of room between you and it! I love the fact that when I walk, it tickles my belly and chest hairs because it isn't sticking to me! It truly is the small things that keep me going
Another thing that just absolutely excites me is when I am walking somewhere, and it suddenly occurs to me that I am not schlumping along, but rather I am floating. Since I have given such importance to getting back to running form, I can't help but notice my leg muscles and others that are associated with walking are once again strong, and so each foot step often feels like I am walking on air. Another one of the things that made me dig my heel in was the fact that one day, I was going up the stairs at school WITHOUT MY BACKPACK and still got winded. Now, even with my back pack, I can get to the second floor flight of steps before I start to feel it, and when I reach the third floor, I am still breathing hard, but not panting anymore! (FYI, there are elevators, I just refuse to use them)
The final thing that has been on my mind this morning is the fact that I was doing something I had no idea I was doing until I was giving some advice to my friend who is thinking about starting a journey to healthy living. When he was trying to kind of hedge on when he was getting started, I told him the key to all of this is just break the seal on it. Don't think about it, don't analyze it, and don't defeat yourself by deciding your are going to work hard right from jump street and be fit in about a month or so. Just break the seal on it. Decide that today, I will go to the block I plan on walking myself into fitness, and maybe stroll to the corner and back to the car. What you did was just break the seal on the plan. Now once you do that and realize it ain't so bad, just add a little at a time. So anyway, back to why this is in this post. I had been doing that very thing, just hadn't put it into a concept yet. My school schedule and family schedule have been giving me fits as far as getting to the gym or the trail goes. I am now mostly doing afternoon workouts. The problem with that is I was using my caffeine high to have great morning workouts (coffee addict here) and afternoons still are when I begin to try to wind down for the day. So one day, I was trying to rationalize not going, and so I said look, just go to the gym, don't commit to killing a workout today, just show up and see what happens next. So I pulled into the parking lot of the gym on the way home, then got out and went and checked in. It wasn't 30 seconds, and I was strapping on my knee brace, tightening my laces and heading for my treadmill to kill a quick 2 miler! So from that day on, when I am trying to act like it would be ok to not go on a day I am supposed to, I just show up and let the rest happen. That was what happened this morning. I have a great deal of reading to do, and some catching up on some stuff I am not picking up on in negotiable instruments. I was starting to think "I should be a responsible student and stay home and get smart." But instead, I got up, put on my gym clothes, and just showed up at the gym. Quite frankly, I cannot tell you how glad I am I did that. It was a great run that showed me how much stronger I am getting already and really set the tone for my attitude for the rest of the day!
Ok, glad I was able to get all that out. Now for the responsible student in me to get to reading! Thanks for dropping by and listen to me ramble!
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Today, this blog is not about me, well not per se I guess. It is about how proud I am to be in a front row seat watching Kathy Griffin, my lovely and awesome wife, beginning to catch fire in her desire to be fit! Kathy is like me, and has sputtered and stumbled in past attempts to get started, but if these last 3 weeks are any indication, she is fully ablaze with a desire for fitness! I have to sit back and grin when I think about Kathy a month ago, and Kathy today. Kathy is by far not a morning person, or at least historically she has not been. For the past 3 weeks, her phone has been waking me up at 4:45 at least 3 days a week! Why you ask? she is getting up and meeting her friend Robin at the gym for morning workouts! She has also started going on Monday evenings with her mom.
But that is not the part I get the biggest grin out of. What I love is that she is suddenly very fidgety. Let me explain. As a general rule, at our least fit, it was not hard to find either of us. We were both generally in our chairs. A lot. But a couple of years ago, when I began to get fit, I was suddenly always hyper, always looking for something to do. I would clean or organize or sometimes just go outside and walk around. I am starting to get back to that mind set, but even better, I have been watching Kathy beginning to be edgy when she sits for a little bit. In this past week, she is literally killing me by doing everything and not leaving me anything to do when I get bored!
So Kathy Griffin, here is to you. Great job getting 2013 started off right. Now for me to try to figure out how to stay ahead of you in running!
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
I guarantee that title makes no sense to most folks. Heck, it barely makes sense to me, but it is true. You see, I am a guy who has problems recognizing anything but time spent in the gym as exercise or even activity for that matter. If I didn't drive down to either the gym or the track and spent X minutes doing some form of "exercise", then I sluffed off that day. But the cold hard truth is, anything you do that is moving is good for you, and should be recognized as exercise in the broadest sense of the word.
Let's take for example this weekend. I don't go to school on Friday's this semester, and since I don't have a job yet, it makes it more or less a free day. I of course have to do some reading for school, but for the most part, I am on my own while Kathy is at work during the day. I had decided that for this semester, Friday afternoons would be spent going to the gym. Well this past Friday was the first one, and the day came and went, but no gym time for me. I had spent the morning cleaning the house, and then my cousins came down and we went to lunch. On my to do list for the weekend, I had decided the garage needed (to be read desperately needed) to be cleaned up. So I forsake the gym that day to spend the afternoon cleaning the garage. It became a gargantuan task taking 3 1/2 hours!
Long story short, it was not a "gym workout" but it was a workout nonetheless. Several trips up and down the attic latter, I took apart an old recliner to get to the big heavy metal frame so I could sell it for scrap (that was much harder to do than I envisioned when I started by the way). I completely rearranged my shelves based on the fact I now have a lockable cabinet in there that lots of top shelf stuff went into. So even though I was doing "exercise", it really didn't register to me as exercise, and I went to bed that night feeling like I had failed. But then, the next morning, holy canole!! I was so sore!! I had soreness from the tops of my shoulders to the bottoms of my calves! So it was only then that it occured to me, yup, I did do exercise, and had not actually sluffed off!
I guess I just took the longest way around to say it took some lactic acid to help get my mind right, and divert the feeling of failing to stick to my planned gym time as being a failure. I hope I learned it well enough to continue to understand that because it is not "gym" exercise doesn't mean it isn't exercise at all.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Friday, January 11, 2013
When things are going wrong, man does it feel like prison. You just can't get out of your own head. You think and think and think. Far too often, thinking has gotten me in trouble. It sometimes makes me decide to give up, or "take a break" or some other self defeating behavior. But man, when you have that 24 hour period when you do it right and then on top of that see weight loss, oh buddy can you conquer the world!!!!!
I started a little something last night to try to break my eating after dinner problem. I just started writing what I wanted to do 5 times. So after supper, I wrote 5 times that I was not going to snack after supper. I was starting to crack, so I wrote i was not going to bargain or rationalize in order to eat something 5 times. Later, when i was fixing to get up to go to bed, I made sure that rather than my usual habit of finding something to eat on the way to the bedroom, I wrote I will not get a snack on the way to bed 5 times. It worked!!!! Not one snack after supper!
And if that wasn't enough, well guess what? 2 pounds disappeared off of Shane since last week!!! Oh Friday was such a good day. Not making the Deans List didn't even ruin my day. Even though I only missed it by .08, I was still happy for the great stuff that is going on!!!
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
I know that typically when you come here to my blog, you will see me being excited about now and the future. But today will not be the same. I am a little aggravated with my scale number and my struggle with after dinner eating. Now I say that with the caveat that I have all sorts of signs of progress. Trimmer waist (evidenced by my pants fitting better), smaller side boobs (evidenced by my treadmill walking the other day and not hitting the hand rail), and better cardio fitness by far!! I can run 2 miles without feeling it, although that is on the flat treadmill at 5 mph.
But I am just not happy with my scale number, and my guess is that is directly tied in with my other aggravation, my trouble wrangling the after dinner snacking. Not that I am going nuts with ice cream, or even the age old favorite hot dogs! I snack on Carl Buddhig lunch meat packets, cheese sticks, yogurt, and the occasional peanut butter sandwich. If I can ever get rid of the propensity to snack after supper, I think i will be well back on my way to a better scale number. Right now I am at 269. I would love to see a good number at this Friday's weigh in. Like say a 266. So now that I have verbalized my anger, I will move forward having taken its power away from it.
I think that has always been my problem. I would be dealing with life's craziness, and rather than doing something proactive or healthy about it, I would shove it down deep inside and ignore it, and to keep it down there, I apparently threw some food on top of it!! haha. So that realization prompted me to write a griping blog. I actually feel a lot better about the situation now that I have found a place to bring it out that is safe. I am very thankful for each of you for listening. If the scale don't cooperate this week, you may see some more of them!! haha.