Losing It For The Family

Losing It For The Family

Friday, December 31, 2010

Day 169 Hot 100 Wrap Up, A Big Accomplishment, My Final Weigh In, and A Fond Farewell

Happy New Year's Eve! I have to tell everyone, I am more excited this New Year's Eve than I can ever remember being on any previous NYE! I am heading into 2011 riding the biggest wave of success I have ever seen in one year and it looks as though God is going to keep on blessing me more than I deserve in 2011. I love that Guy!

Today is the wrap up of the Hot 100 which I managed to miss updating last week. It is not a good excuse, but I just got busy and didn't do it. I am out of the running for the prizes, but honestly, I am ok with that to be honest. I really am just glad to have been motivated by this challenge. It set me on the path to some really great accomplishments for the holiday season. My goals were to:

1. be down to 240 by December 31st, 2010 (later amended to 210)

2. eat more fruits and vegetables for the last 100 days

3. get my 5k time below 40 minutes (later amended to walk an average of 4 miles a day)

4. not eat white bread or white bread dyed to look like wheat bread.

I think I rocked each and every one of those goals excepting the white bread one because I kept finding out things were white bread besides sandwich bread, and I kept forgetting those things that were not really white bread were essentially white bread. I didn't pig out on any of those things, but still. In terms of the vegetables and fruits, rocked it. On the 240 pounds, killed it. The amendment was for 210. I weighed this morning and unfortunately, I was not able to meet the amended goal. I did however get to 212 pounds! At first, I will admit I was a little disappointed, but then this fact dawned on me. I lost 14 frikkin' pounds throughout the 6 week holiday season!! I mean really? Not making 210 is that bad? No, it is not. I would wager 500 dollars that last year during this period, I put on 10 pounds!! So yeah, I am going to call that a success.

But that is not even the 2010 success I am hanging my hat on. I am so excited just typing this! So, I amended the 5k goal to walk 4 miles a day average right? Well I am known for being hard headed, and I just couldn't let that go. So over the last three weeks or so, I have been "kinda" training on my jogging on the treadmill. On Monday this week, I decided that I was going to see what I was made of today, the last day I had given myself to get that done. I did it! I ran 3.1 miles in 39 minutes, 18 seconds!!! I almost quit twice but I just kept it up, kept pushing for 2.5 miles. I knew if I could get there, I would make it the whole way. I got there, but man I was getting worn out. I was jogging at 4.8 miles an hour, .6 miles an hour faster than I ever had before. I kept an eye on my time to see if maybe I could slow down a little to finish out, but it didn't look good for my goal. Finally at 2.9 miles, I knew I would make it if I stayed at that pace, so I set my mind and kept on pushing. And voila!! I was so happy to hit that stop button, but I was ecstatic to see that number! I was bushed, I was wiped out, I was sweaty, my heart was racing, but I did it! In a related note, I was also shocked at how quickly my heart rate leveled out after I was finished. I have to admit, I am apparently in much better shape that I was when I started walking at Wal Mart for a mile and a half in 33 minutes. Score!!

So with all the preceding in mind, and all the blessings I have blogged about over the past few months, it is with an attitude of gratitude I bid 2010 Farewell. In 20 years, I will always remember this year as the one I made the decision to change my life and lifestyle. This year will always hold a fondness in my heart, regardless of whatever else I may accomplish from this point forward. Thank you 2010 for all the memories you will hold for me.



Day 168 Looking Forward To 2011

So as this year wraps up, and I have looked back at all that has happened this year, I find myself thinking about 2011 and what it may bring. Here are a few things I would like to see happen:

1. I want to see me hit 185 pounds before my birthday in May. I have a feeling I can do this long before that, but that is my absolute deadline.
2. I want to see my family and friends start their own healthy lifestyles. I can proudly say that I know Kathy, my mom Fran, my dad Glenn, our friends Brad and Rachel in Texas, and my coworker Jill have all said they are looking to get started on healthier living. I plan on offering all the support and help I possibly can to help them along their respective ways.
3. I hope that some of the folks from the weight loss blogosphere that I have seen “disappear” find their way back and that they find their mojo in 2011 and show us all up! I know it is impossible to get started until you are able to find the commitment, drive and desire within yourself. It seems it is just timing, starting the right thing at the right time when it comes to weight loss and I have been very fortunate in this regard.
4. I desperately want that letter telling me I am accepted to law school! That would be the coolest thing on the list right now! I so desperately want to get on that path so I can support my family in the way they deserve to be supported.
5. I want each and every one of us to enjoy either great success in weight loss or great success in weight maintenance, whichever applies to us individually.
6. I really really really want to go to a amusement park and spend the day riding every ride without a thought of whether I will fit!
7. I want Kathy and I to get better with our finances. We do ok I guess, but it would be nice to have a big ol’ savings account just in case you know. Not sure how this will happen when I start law school, but it is being put out there.
8. I hope to find a way to join the gym we visited the other day. It is such an awesome atmosphere. It is unashamedly spiritual, has a fitness program for kids, and a very full class schedule so that busy folks can make it too.

So there you have it. If all or even some of these happen for me in 2011, I will consider myself a blessed man, even more so than I do already.

I finally got my part of the bargain done today and got the outside Christmas lights down and put away. I was starting to wonder if I would get them down before New Year’s Day! I had Lauren all to myself sort of today. I got her at noon and we went to lunch and Wal Mart to shop for the food to cook supper for Kathy tonight. Lauren is growing up so fast. I let her do the shopping and she remembered all the stuff we needed, did a good job picking out the squash, the cabbage, and the pork chops for that matter. She even made the mac and cheese all by herself and sliced the squash up so I could grill it. It makes me so proud and a little sad at the same time.
Well I am gonna get off here and see how long I can stay awake. I am going to shoot for my best 5k time yet tomorrow morning so sleep will be the key. I also weigh in tomorrow for the last time in 2010. I know I will see a loss it is a matter of how much and can I make 210?? Tune in tomorrow to find out!




Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Day 165 A Look Back At 2010

So as the year draws to a close, I was thinking as I walked this morning about what all this 2010 has been to me. I was in a great marriage all year, I saw Lauren grow and blossom (and aggravate me a heck of a lot too) into a cheerleader, a basketball player, an honor choir member, a Brownie, and a lovely young girl. I changed jobs midyear, took the LSAT, and have gotten myself within 6 credit hours of having my Bachelor’s Degree! I ran for and was elected as a Justice of the Peace for my county. I started on an epic weight loss journey, began to be known as a hiker with Kathy and I hiking several times. I have started to attach jogger to my list of titles, and officially, I don’t have to look at weight limits anymore I am pretty sure! I have never seen anything say that 220 pounds is too heavy, and I am at 216 so I should be good! I actually thought of that by happenstance. I was walking and there was an ad for a treadmill on the Wal Mart Tv’s that said up to 300 pounds for the limit. That set me to thinking and that led to this post.
I have to say that as exciting as this year has been, I am even more excited about 2011. I am starting off in much better physical shape than I started this year off, I will actually get that Bachelor’s Degree God willing in May, and God willing again, I should be accepted to and start law school in the fall! I suspect at some point I will get to enjoy fully the joy of an amusement park and all the thrill rides it has to offer, and I know I will love Kathy even more by the end of this year than I do now.
Well it is Wednesday before weigh in day and the anxiety begins. I am especially anxious because I had to do something today that I wish I hadn’t, but the circumstances were grim. I am pretty sure that once again, my blood sugar got low on me. I think I am out exercising my calorie intake, and that my BMR is higher now. So when I was walking at Wal Mart for lunch, I felt like I was going to crash maybe. I got tired, a little fuzzy headed and starving to beat the band. I stopped my little store and bought me one of their mini pizzas as that was the only thing they had ready to eat other than some much more high calorie, high fat sandwiches. Sure enough, after I ate that, I was fine about ten minutes later. I am now going to admit I am not eating enough I do believe. I need to add to my lunch most likely so I am going to explore some possibilities tonight and put them in place tomorrow.

Has anybody else got a year in review they care to share?




Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Day 166 Things That Make You Go Hmmmmm

Well first, let me say this. As I was typing that title, something hit me. It says "Day 166". I have to admit, that excites me. I don't know that on Day 1, I knew that there would be a Day 166. Now, I can see there being a Day 1066!!! So there ya go, a little "what the heck is Shane smoking today?" moment.

So here is the thing. I do remember one thing for sure from Day 1. I set my calorie bank at 2000 calories that day. And I remember thinking "wow, that is so going to be hard to maintain consistently." I also remember wondering how the heck Sean managed to keep his at 1500 calories a day. Slowly, surely and steadily, I have lowered my bank total as I have progressed, and at this time, I keep it at 1500. Well lately, I have been having blood sugar issues at times, as well as hunger issues too. So, I have been threatening to boost my daily calories to 1800 to see if that will help with both those issues. Turns out, that is harder than it seems like it should be to do. I am seriously stuck on getting 1500 calories! I have even reasoned out that I am now doing 5 miles a day of walking as opposed to the 2 or 3 I was doing before when I set the bank at 1500, I know I have built lots of muscles in my weight workouts and my walking, so I am betting my BMR is considerably higher than it used to be. I cannot convince myself to go above 1500. I did it for Christmas Day, but now that that is over, I haven't been able to do it again. I even had a plan for what to eat tonight to get it there, but I just can't. I am a dork. First I can't stop eating the calories, now I can't get myself to eat them when I probably need to! Things that make you go hmmmm.


Monday, December 27, 2010

Day 162-165 A Conscious Decision

"Reports of my falling off the wagon have been greatly exaggerated"- Shane Griffin

Ok there were no reports, but still. I hope this blog finds all my bloggy buddies doing well and having enjoyed their holidays to the fullest. I can honestly say I had as good of a time as I have ever had during the Christmas Holidays, and I don't even really like them. I got some cool stuff like my first Under Armour shirt, a bad assky leather jacket, Kathy got me a cool first person shooter game for the Wii, Call of Duty, World at War, and I got some new clothes. I also finally was able to save up enough money to spend on some decent walking/running shoes finally! I sprung for some Under Armour Shade running shoes. I had done some research and they came highly recommended by reviewers, so I took the chance. I love them! Most comfortable shoe I have had in quite some time. I broke them in this morning on my Wal Mart walking, got a second round at my lunch Wal Mart walk. I cannot complain one bit. Oh and I have committed to doing my first 5K on January 8, 2011. It is for the Van Buren's High School I guess drama club or whatever the acting people are in during high school. I am so looking forward to it!

As the title says, I made a conscious decision. In the days leading up to Christmas, I was sitting around making a war plan, getting psyched up, talking myself into a frenzy about not eating more than my normal calorie count for Christmas dinner. And suddenly, the on the 23rd, it occurred to me, once again, letting food run things. I know that the skinny people I know, they don't do all that. They eat normal the rest of the year, and the holidays, they eat mostly normal, but indulgence, that is ok. So, I decided on Christmas Eve morning, I would follow my usual diet up until we went to Kathy's mom's for that get together, and then I wouldn't eat till I was going to pop, but I wasn't going to get all psycho and eat two slices of lettuce either. So I took the blinders off, went to her mom's and had me two sandwiches and I ate some of the sweet treats her mom had baked. Nothing insane, but just a little letting go. Same thing with Christmas day when we hosted the dinner. I ate my normal menu up until 2 o'clock, then I turned it off, had me some good food in bigger portions THAN I NORMALLY DO and enjoyed the food of the season. Come yesterday morning, I was right back to the new Shane. I hopped on the treadmill, got my run in, had my usual breakfast, snack, lunch, snack and dinner. Now, I knew when I made the decision, I may not make my 210 by the end of 2010 goal, but I think that ultimately, I gained two things that are bigger than that, and that will help me when I do get to my goal weight. First, to eat like a skinny person would during the Christmas Holiday, some indulging, but not exorbitant amounts. Second, that I can take the blinders off for the holidays, cause they go right back on when they are done. This is my second day after letting my "diet" go. I have had phenomenal workouts on both days, I am just as motivated to keep on living healthy, and I gained a power over food, rather than continuing to let food define my actions, even if it is to the other extreme from my past practice of eating too much during the Christmas Holiday.

Did everybody else allow some indulgence in their routine, or am I the weinie of this group?



Thursday, December 23, 2010

Day 161 Oh Those Muscles, Those Sore, Tired Muscles

My office is officially moved. And, I am officially so freaking tired and sore, it ain't even funny. I did a two mile walk before work. It turned out not to be necessary, cause I was moving fast and lifting so much today that I am in a huge calorie deficit I am sure. Another good thing, my office is set up! I have my own office and it is set up! I am so stoked! I have never had my own office before and now, I have not only an office, but an awesome office! I took a picture from my phone but haven't mailed it to myself yet, so I will get it on here soon when I get it mailed.

I am so ready to get to opening gifts. I know what one is and I want to play it right now! AAAAAAND the Hunter's are coming over for Christmas evening and Jason and I are gonna play it then too. I am so excited!

Well I am worn out, so I am gonna get off here. Ya'll have a great weekend if I don't see you between now and Christmas.



Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Day 160 My Shoulders Are Square

New "I just noticed" NSV. I have square shoulders! I guess I was just so fat before that they were round, but now, nope, square! I saw it today when I was working out with my shirt off. Got right angles there.

I have a weird thing going on. If I wear my contacts, I am geting wonky vision. I can't explain it fully, but I get like light flares in my vision, it is out of focus, except the very center of my field of vision. I only get it when I wear my contacts though. My glasses are ok. I wonder, is it possible my vision has gotten better as I lost weight? I mean my glasses are still a prescription from quite some time ago, my contacts I got last year about this time. I wonder if my contacts are just too powerful and messing with my vision. I dunno, but it is frustrating. I am going to have my eyes checked again at the beginning of the year and see if I need a new prescription maybe.

I have been exceptional with my eating this week. I did do one thing though. I have been doing 1500 calories a day for awhile now, but I have been getting what I am pretty sure is low blood sugar symptoms. I think I have been over exercising for my calorie count, so I have upped it to 1800 a day again. It is a calculated risk this late in the game in my 210 before the end of 2010 challenge, but I had to try it. I am tired of being scared of crashing if my sugar got too low for me to recover.

Lauren is baking Christmas cookies all by her lonesome! I am pretty impressed. I even took a small one and ate it so I could encourage her cooking skills. Sure is cool to see her growing up, but sure wish she would stop!



Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Day 159 Sedentary, I Knew Thee Well

I am sitting here thinking about something I just now realized. How sedentary I used to be and how much I was "going to do later". Seriously guys and gals. It was baaaaaad. I mean about the only thing I was up to getting out of my chair for was a trip to the kitchen or pantry! I never missed those opportunities for sure!

So, I got home tonight after a bit of a late night at the office, and having stopped to visit with my Mom. Kathy had supper fixed when I got home and we ate a yummy meatloaf with some chopped spinach as a side. It was yummy. I had gotten very light headed today and was starving all morning. I think I may have gotten my blood sugar low again, cause I went to lunch with Kathy and immediately after that, I felt back to normal. I have had these episodes before. I get a little disoriented, it seems like everyone is talking loud, I can't think very fast, etc. Once I get some food in me, I feel better almost immediately after, like 5 or 10 minutes. So I had a plate of yellow rice and cuban cooked ground beef. I guesstimated it to be around a 600 calorie meal, which is way more than I usually eat for lunch, but i was honestly worried. I usually go walk at lunch at the track when it is warm. I have almost no doubt if I had chosen to go that route today, there may have been a 911 call!

So about the sedentary lifestyle title; tonight I had a honey do list that was given to me last night. I was charged with moving the mirror from the dining room to the entry way, and hanging my wife's grandma's painting in the dining room, as well as assembling Lauren's desk chair that Kathy got for a steal. I got the chair knocked out pretty quickly. Next I took down the mirror in the dining room and marked where the painting was supposed to go. I got the anchors put in the wall for the painting and got it hung up. This, in the past would have been the point in time that I would have said ok, I will get the mirror hung tomorrow. In fact, I entertained the idea for a second and decide that I would just go do it now, get it over with!! It was not even a long debate, just did it! Then after thinking about it for a sec, I realized I have been doing that a lot lately. At work, the hold punch circles seen to escape from the punches pretty regularly. I have no qualms at all about stopping to pick them up when I see them, whereas before, those stay right there. I love this new feeling of I will just do it!



Monday, December 20, 2010

Day 158 The "Sweet Spot"

Good Monday evening all. I just got back from my last Quorum Court meeting as a spectator. Next go around, I am a the one making the calls! I am pretty excited about it too. Kathy went with me and that was nice. I like when she shows interest in my stuff.

So let me ask you this. Do you have little mental tricks to help you with your work outs? Is there a trick you use to help you maximize your potential? I have this thing. My coach always said finish strong in whatever you do. Don't give 100% for 90% of the game, then only finish at 80%. So, when I am walking or running or whatever exercise I am doing, I always have some preset point that I call the "Sweet Spot". When I hit the sweet spot, I turn it up a notch and give a little extra effort. For example, I usually to 10 laps around Wal Mart in the mornings before work. I go hard at it too. I get my heart rate up, my breathing is up, my muscles are feeling it by the time I am done. But, on lap 8, I make sure I am going at least as hard or harder than I did on lap 1. No slacking, no matter how tired and worn out I am. That technique has become more than a habit, it is an addiction now. I am unable to "cruise" during a workout. I even tried to today during my lunch walk. I was consciously trying to walk at a moderate pace cause I was feeling fatigued from this weekends walks and how hard I went this morning. I tried to walk slower, I did, but i would get off in my own little world and suddenly I would realize I was walking real fast again. So, I gave up even trying to dial it down, and just finished it out at full speed. Oh and I had a great ab workout today too! I really shredded those bad boys. I suspect tomorrow morning will hold some good soreness for me! Another strange thing about me, I really enjoy soreness, more than a person should I am pretty sure.

Uh, National Lampoon Christmas Vacation just showed up on my tv, see ya'll later!!



Sunday, December 19, 2010

Day 157 Sundays Are My Fun Days

I can think of a multitude of reasons I love me some Sunday. It is the day for rejoicing in the Lord, there is NFL on tv, I typically have fewer activities planned on Sundays. But here lately, it has also turned into my day of physical achievements.

As you recall, two Sundays ago, I walked 10 miles straight through for the first time ever. Then last Sunday, I jogged a 5k straight through for the first time ever. Well today, I jogged an hour straight and wound up at 4.2 miles in that hour. I also finished out the workout by walking until I reached 5 miles. Here is the part I like the most about my workout though. When I reached the 3.1 miles for the 5k, I got all excited that I had done it in 44 minutes and 20 seconds and started doing a victory dance of sorts.

I think those of you who watch football will get this. One thing I have always admired about the athletes in the NFL is how obvious their core strength is. And it is more evident than ever when they are running away from a great tackle or a great run and they are high stepping and scrunching their body down at the same time. I was doing that today on the treadmill! I was doing it subconsciously, not even thinking about it! Then I realized that I was doing it and got even more happy about my workout!

I have gotten in so much better shape in my core that it is not even funny. When I am sore, it is even more evident how much more muscular my trunk is. Oh and I hadn't mentioned this, but now, I can feel my ribs on my side all the time!! If I need to scratch, there they are. If I just feel like poking them, there they are. AAAAAANNNNNNNDDD Lauren was giving me a hug the other day, and her head hit my sternum. She said what is that? I told her that was my sternum and she was like really? Nobody else I hug has that. Kinda humorous huh? And lastly, and I just noticed this today, don't know how long it is that this has been the case, but my love handles are gone! I hadn't even paid a bit of attention to that until it just happened to catch my eye today while I was measuring my belly, which by the way has shrunk from 53 inches around my belly button to 44 1/2 inches!

Quite a Sunday folks, if I do say so myself. I have two more Sundays left in this year, and I am going to make the best of both. I went back to check my Hot 100 goals that I originally set because I couldn't remember what my 5k time goal was. It was to get a 5k in under 40 minutes. I jogged at 4.2 miles an hour today and it never really challenged me to the point I was worn out, so next week, I am shooting for that goal! I think if I can jog at 4.5 miles an hour, I should be able to get at or below 40 minutes in a 5k! That would be so awesome. And I think it would go a long way towards getting to my goal of 210 by New Years Eve!! Ya'll be sure and say a prayer for me that I can get these goals accomplished and have a wonderful last two weeks of 2010! And I will give you the same courtesy by praying that each of my bloggy buddies finishes strong this year and makes the transition into a new year as the best you that you can be!


Saturday, December 18, 2010

Day 156 Really? Really? You Have To Be Kidding Me!

Happy Saturday folks! I have had a pretty darn good day all the way around. Good eating, good exercising, good living, and even some good shopping, or as good as shopping can be in my estimation. I got Kathy's gifts finished up, so that was a bonus. Kathy and I got to spend time with the Hunters today. We went to watch the latest Harry Potter movie and it was an excellent movie! I need to get the rest of them and get caught up on watching them.

So, when I was a 3X shirt wearing kind of guy, I had the darndest time finding places that carried them and even more of a hard time finding some that were decent looking. Well I have worked and worked to get smaller and now that I am an XL, I am having a hell of a time finding those! I was at Wal Mart on Friday and was going to treat myself to a new t shirt. Well I found some t shirts printed commemorating that the Razorbacks are going to the Sugar Bowl (neener neener Doc!!) and was going to go ahead and get one. There were several designs, most were too cartoony for me, so I found the design I wanted that was understated but cool looking, and guess what, not one XL in the bunch. Fine. So I moved on to looking at other shirts, and I kid you not, every time I found one I liked, there were no XL's to be found! Really? Really? You have to be kidding me! I gave up and bought me a new belt instead finally. The one I had I was wrapping around to the middle of my back belt loop and it was getting on my nerves.

So I am two people I never thought I would be all of the sudden. First, I decided to go for a shorter walk this morning. I was going to just do 3 miles since I was kinda time crunched. Well I couldn't do it. I got hacked at myself over being a slacker, so I got my 5 miles in and I did the whole thing at a very fast pace. It really does amaze me that 5 months ago, I had a hell of a time finishing one mile or two laps around my block, and the hills killed me! Now I was on my 4th mile before I could ever even tell I was working out. Which brings me to my under 200 present I have decided to get myself. I saw a vest at Wal Mart the other day that you add weights too so it gets heavier. You wear it while you walk or jog to get more of a workout. It is only like 40 buck or maybe a little more, but it is so mine for getting to sub 200 pounds!!

I am debating doing ten miles of walking again tomorrow morning. I am either gonna do that or I may jog a 5k and walk another two miles all in one session just to see if I can. I will figure out which after my Sunday morning coffee. Ya'll have a great night and I will see ya'll tomorrow!



Friday, December 17, 2010

Day 155 Hot 100 Update, Huge Weigh In, and Picture History

Wow, I am riding a high today!! I had a great weigh in! I lost 8 more pounds, for a total of 81 pounds lost since July 17!! Waaaaahoooooooo! I was just so happy to see that number this morning! I am at 216 pounds now and I know for a fact that I am now slimmer than I when I left high school! How cool is that!? In fact, here is my senior picture:


and here is my latest picture, taken this past Sunday:


Now I had good some good times in between:


but for the most part this is what my adult life has been like:





So there you have it. I have come a good long way in the last 5 months, and I am glad for it. I can't begin to tell you how much of a difference losing weight and getting in shape has made in my life, both physically and aesthetically.

as for my Hot 100 update, as you can imagine, doing pretty dang well. I did slip AGAIN and had a fresco chicken burrito supreme at Taco Bell the other day, then it dawned on me again that the tortilla is white bread essentially, but apart from that, no white bread is good. I am at 216 pounds now, and I think with some hard work and determination, I can get that last 6 of to get to 210 pounds by New Year's Eve, and I did run a full 5k, not as fast as I was wanted to. I was just a shade over 50 minutes, but I think I am going to shoot for it on Sunday and see if I can get it in the high 40's minute wise.

Well I am signing off here so that I can sit in my recliner, watch Lord of the Rings, Return of the King, and just chill. I never get to do that any more. Out of school, no work today, and the girls are at a lock in for Girl Scouts, and I am on my own!





Thursday, December 16, 2010

Day 154 Don't Lose That Awe

So I am T-Minus 7 and half hours till weigh in, give or take. Still unsure of what kind of weigh in it will be. I know this, I am feeling a hell of a lot thinner for some reason. I can't pin point it, but I do feel it.

I think we all have those things, those NSV's that when you first discovered them or experienced them, or were told about them, you were so excited about it! You spent the next days just being in awe. For me, I think the biggest NSV I have I haven't ran into the ground on here, but it just awes me even to this day, although I have been doing it for at least 2 months, maybe more. And I do it at least four days of the week but really more like five. I change my shoes from office shoes to walking shoes and back, while sitting behind the steering wheel of my truck, without opening my door and sitting sideways! See, I used to not have any room between my belly and my steering wheel. If I dropped something while driving, I was not gonna be able get it till I parked. If I wanted to put a soda between my legs, I was out of luck. I hated the way I looked in the Arvest Bank video camera at the drive thru. I have experienced this NSV every day for several weeks. I still am in awe, every single day that I do it. I think that is part of being successful, don't let the successes become normal, they need to be successes forever!!



Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Day 153 A Channeling Experience

Good Wednesday everybody! I am on another high! Had a great food and exercise day once again! I am at 1310 calories right now with some peanut butter and celery in the future, I should finish at around 1400 for the day! Hahahaha, I am lovin' it!!!

I have been kinda worried that I was getting in too good of shape for the walking I have been doing to give me the benefits it has in the past. I don't even get very tired anymore, even though I push myself hard while walking. Today, I decided to get some squats in during my weight workout, which is not unusual, but today, I really really really pushed myself to failure on them. Buddy let me tell you, my legs were worn out for my walk this morning and my lunchtime walk too! And my abs are trashed! Oh and that reminds me, it may be a mirage, but I think I see a little ridge developing on the top part of my stomach where the fat has dissipated the most! I think my abs are trying to poke their heads through! I only see it in the mornings and I am not sure I really see it, but it looks like it. I can feel the separation if I poke around on my abs, but to see it would be great! Oh and I don't recall giving ya'll this information either. I bought size 34 pants last week!! I am a little torn though. They fit fine. I can get two fingers in between me and the waist band, so they don't cut me in half, but when I sit for very long, it feels like the waist band is hitting a nerve or something on my hip bone. It makes my thigh hurt bad! Any thoughts on this? it is only my right thigh and it feels kinda like it is falling asleep but more painful.

Ok, on to today's title. I have been sitting on this experience for a couple of days, but it keeps hanging around my mind and not going away. I saw someone the other day doing something I used to do. They had a big bag of candies and they were mindlessly eating them, not really giving any thought to it from what I can tell. It brought back memories for me. I channeled back to the days when I would have done the same thing. When I see that, I just want to reach out to that me, slap him across the face, and wake him up to the damage he is doing!! I could have saved myself a heck of a lot of trouble knowing what I know now back then. I could already be in the maintenance phase, I could be celebrating 5, maybe 10 years of maintenance. I could be a mountain climber or a 1/2 marathon runner by now! Hell who knows! But the cold hard reality is, I did not do it then. Buuuut, I am doing it now!!! I don't dwell on the past, but I think you have to keep in sight. I don't think you can ever forget the past, it is your index for what to do and what not to do. For example, I now know, when I hit my goal weight, that is not carte blanche to go right back to eating like I used to. That is just Phase I. Phase II is the good part. That is the part where you learn how to KEEP the weight off. That is how you will finish in life. Thin and aware of how to stay that way!

Well it is Wednesday of weigh in week. As I have said before, this is when the anxiety begins. And it is even worse this week. I don't have even a clue what my loss will be if there will be one at all. I feel strong, I feel in better shape, I even feel lighter, but only the scale knows that last one. So let the anxiety begin.



Day 152 Somewhat Interesting Fact

I read something interesting awhile back that came to me today while I was walking. It has been proven that people who share a meal, like each other better than others. That was also told to me by a Human Resources manager in one of my old jobs. That is why company's tend to throw food out for holidays and big project achievement celebrations, it promotes harmony in the masses. And if you think about it, it makes a great deal of sense. Because let's be honest, tell me you don't have a close set fo friend whom you always have big, elaborate meals with, or whom when you want to have a little get together,it doesn't usually wind up in a restaurant. And even more, tell me that during the Holiday Season, you don't find yourself in get togethers with friends, family, and a huge spread of food. Food permeates our society in every form and fashion, bringing us all together to enjoy a meal with our friends and loved ones. I have experienced this on a conscious level for the last week. My first instinct was fight fight fight! But the reality is, it is hard to just walk away from all that without touching it at all. I am pretty sure I have done a pretty good job in limiting my indulgences. But at this point, I am switching my mind set to be responsible, but enjoy some of the food. Small losses at this time of year are as big of a victory as huge losses in October. I know to some this may sound like rationalizing, and that is fair to assume. But frankly, I am so much more responsible this year than I have been in years past. Given what I have been faced with so far, I would have easily put on ten pounds by this time last year!! I am not exaggerating at all! So I suspect at minimum when I weigh in on Friday to see a two or three pound loss. I am good with that. Heck if I maintain, I am probably going to be ok with that. I have had good times with family and good friends, and my focus has switched more to enjoying those people than how much can I cram down my gullet. I think that alone is a huge accomplishment.



Monday, December 13, 2010

Day 151 Great Eating Day To Build On!!

Wow did I have a great eating day! I want to have about oh, 18 more of those!! I had my eggs and cereal for breakfast, a banana for my morning snack, 6 peanuts and a pita sandwich for lunch, and 14 almonds for my afternoon snack. Kathy baked some chicken legs for dinner and we had brown rice and greenbeans as sides with a yogurt, some tuna and celery with peanut butter for snacks after supper. All told, I had 1430 calories for the day and it feels great! I also got myself 4 1/2 miles of walking in today! I am on top of the world and looking forward to more days like this! Like I said, about 18 more of them!

I am so ready for Friday night! No work, no school and no functions for Lauren! Well there is a function for Lauren, but it is an overnight lock in for Girl Scouts, and I ain't allowed, so there is a night of chillin' alone. In the beginning of this marriage, I would have loved that but the truth is now, when they are gone all night, I miss them more than any joy I get out of having the place to myself. Plus I have to stay on guard for food intake when left to my own devices like that.

I am gonna get off here and get some sleep so I can get up and get me another great day!



Day 150 A Much Needed Victory!

Hey gals and guys! I am actually posting this on Monday morning cause my Sunday was full to the brim and I got home late and was in no shape to try to stay awake and type a blog! I had a huge victory yesterday! I jogged a 5k all the way through straight! I only did it at 4 miles and hour, but man was that a rush! I finally turned off the treadmill and if everybody had not been asleep, I would have done a primal scream I was so happy! I finished the first two miles fairly easily, the last 1.1 miles was a bit of a struggle, but I hung in and wowzer was it worth it. I don't know, it was just a real high is the only way I can explain it. I want to try to do about 5 more of those and see about starting to run a little faster then maybe a little farther next.

Had a long day as I eluded to before. I got up and got the jog in, then immediately was hit with getting everybody else up and around, and we all got ready for my Christmas gathering with my Hudson family, dad's side of the family. I don't see them or keep in touch like I should and that is totally on me. I should try harder but between the fact my life is busy and crazy and there is an hour drive between us, I fail horribly. I did get pictures with my brother and his kids, and that did my heart so much good. I really wish we were closer and we are going to try to be now I think. I love my nephew and niece, they are both hoots to hang out with! Shady by niece, is so spunky and sassy, it is cute. Dusty is just a little man now. Well behaved, calm cool and relaxed. Love it!

Ok, now that all these food centered festivities are over, and I handled them as well as I guess I was able, I am thankful to be back to normal life starting today. I like when I have structure in my life and the food put before me is totally in my control. I don't believe the past week will kill me, but I am betting it won't help the scale any! I will be getting some extra exercise on Monday and Wednesday now since I don't have classes at lunch on those days anymore, so that is my upside for the week. The other good news is, I get to hang out with my family at night all week for a month too. I may throw in some extra jogging then too just to help me get back on track and in better shape for my weigh in this Friday. It may be too little too late, but the one thing I am going to keep in mind for this last stretch of the holiday season, I am at LEAST 73 pounds lighter than I was this time last year, and that is not anything to be sneezing at!

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Day 149 Not Going So Well Here

Ok guys, the holidays are killing me right now! I have had two Christmas parties so far and not that I have gone nuts or blew my diet incredibly, but it just feels like I am gaining weight! I am not doing well on my soda drinking either. I suspect if I do gain weight, that would be the most suspect aspect of my last weeks behavior. It is diet soda, but that is that much less water I am drinking too. So today's meeting was the last one that I know of to have a food event that requires me to caffeine up to keep going. Starting tomorrow, I am back to no soda, and the best part is, I get to start walking (or jogging!) more often! So I am going to be busting my booth hocks for the next 5 days to try to do damage control for this Friday's weigh in, if there is damage control needed. We will see on Friday I suppose.

I have a wild hair folks. I want to jog a 5k tomorrow morning! Desperately! I did jog a mile Friday morning and it really wasn't that much of a hardship, though it was only 4 miles an hour, but I will take it, it didn't hurt my ankles!



Thursday, December 9, 2010

Day 147 Skin Fold vs. Fat Rolls

Good evening fellow bloggers and bloggerettes! I am in an especially jolly mood tonight. I am one final away from being done for a month with school! that is 31 days of spending my nights at home with my family with no homework, no papers due, not test to study for! Yipppeeeee! Here is the sad thing about me, the other thing I think about....... how much more time I will have to walk. Little scary there. I am glad to have my lunches back to walk, I will keep on walking in the morning at Wal Mart obviously. And I think I may have opened a door to a new habit this morning. I got bored with looking at my puter this morning, so I got on the treadmill to try to get ahead in my mileage for the day. I wanted to get 7 miles in throughout the day, so I banged out a mile real quick, or that was my intention. I just got a little carried away and decided to do a little jogging too, only slower than I usually do. I think part of my ankles hurting may have been that I was trying to be the Flash when I jogged. I can't help that, it is just my attitude, go all out. So today I just took it to 4 miles an hour on the treadmill and jogged for the last 4 minutes to see. Sure enough, no stress on the ankles, of course i was only breathing a little hard though. I bet if I kept it up at that speed, I would still get a workout in. I am curious now. I wouldn't doubt for a second this early morning walk may take hold. Maybe even early morning jogging will take hold. anyway, I got up and around and got an extra mile in than usual at Wal Mart. Lauren was at her dad's last night so I didn't have to take her to school, I took the extra time to do extra laps. Then I made it out to the track at lunch and knocked out another 2 miles for a grand total of 6.5 miles baby! I was half mile short, but my thighs were dying from doing my squats during my weight workout this morning, so I decided good enough on the 6.5 miles.

I noticed something this morning. I had my elbows resting somewhere, and couldn't help but notice that I had skin folds forming right above my elbows from losing weight. Not incredibly obvious if you ain't looking for it, but still. Add that to my belly skin flap, and (pardon my honesty) the small flaps on my butt now. and this is a disturbing trend to me. Buuuut, I have to ask myself this. Anybody ever died because of too many skin folds? What about fat rolls? Anybody ever die from those? Yeah I think you may get where i am going with that. After getting that reasoning into my head, I kinda just added it to my list. I haven't written it down anywhere, I just know it in my head. My list of things that still amaze me sometimes. Like the fact I don't have to scan booths to see which one I can most likely fit in, or the fact I can change shoes in my truck while sitting behind the steering wheel, or that my ribs are not touchable immediately below my skin. Like the fact that I know pass people when walking in Wal Mart, not for my walks, but just while there. My speed has increased a great deal! Tonight at one of my attorney friends Christmas party, I had a whole other round of oohs and aaahs from people who hadn't seen me in some time and they all raved yet again. I guess I kinda like it because they all ask what I am doing and I spread the gospel of eat less move more. Oh! I almost left this out. People, don't ever underestimate your influence on others in terms of your actions. Jill in my office just told me the other day she is thinking it is time for her to get on the weight loss bandwagon. I know her husband has lost a great deal of weight and kept it off, and she has seen me losing weight since I got there. We had even once had a conversation about she knew she could stand to lose some weight, but she just didn't have the want to. I am guessing that between Greg and myself, she just started seeing that it was a good thing to be motivated about losing weight. I am so happy for her and I told her whatever I could do to help, I am right there!

Well I best get off here and debate about how much longer I can put off studying for tomorrows final. I am betting 4 a.m. tomorrow morning is the winner!



Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Day 146 Repent and Rejoice

Good Wednesday night by bloggy peeps. I have been off the blog map for the last couple of days. I had two finals I was trying to make sure I passed, so I was concentrating real hard on getting that taken care of. The one thing I learned is that sleep deprivation can lead to some bad decisions. Monday was not too awful bad, I was good the majority of the day, but when I got home from my final, I had my supper plus I ate some Doritos and some meatloaf. all in all, I wound up around 1800 calories, but that was not to the level that I was worried about. However, I went on a caffeine bender yesterday as I was up late Monday night too studying then got up early too. I was ok for most of the day once again, but once the caffeine wore off, and I found myself at the Girl Scout meeting last night, I was tempted by all the cookies and candies that were there for the party. I came in with having eaten around 800 calories and left with an estimated 1600! I still had my supper but I at least did eat light portions and had about 200 calories worth of meatloaf and green beans. I guess I should feel like a loser, but I don't. I just learned a whole other lesson to add to my new experiences. Be extra on guard if I am sleep deprived too!!

The good news is I am done with the two hardest finals I have, the next one I got some studying in for tonight and I don't foresee it being as stressful as those two were! And I had a great diet and exercise day! I got my weight workout in this morning, got my Wal Mart 2 1/1 miles in before work and then another 2 1/2 at lunch, I am now sitting at 1480 calories for the day and I am done! I got a lot of fruit in today too. Kathy bought me some green apples while at the store and I had an orange and a banana as well. Oh and for supper we had 15 bean soup and it was delish!!! So I am pretty excited about my rededication. I am now focusing on getting out of the 220's for my next weigh in. I don't know that I can after the two days of poor choices, but I will try like hell I promise you that! I am thinking a little extra exercise and a little determination on the diet will get me far this time!

Sure is good to blog again, it sure is something you miss when you ain't doing it!



Sunday, December 5, 2010

Day 143 A Physics Lesson Today

Well as I posted last night, today was I agreed to do a 10 mile walk challenge. Christine asked me about a month ago to join her in pushing our outside limits on this day. She was inspired by one of her friends that was doing a marathon, so Christine decided to do a half marathon today. She, I and a few other of her friends all got on board and agreed to go for it today. I knew I did not have 13.1 miles in me, but I did decide to try for 10 miles on the treadmill.

I don't know how many of us remember what from science classes from high school, but one thing that I have always remembered from them is the statement "a body at rest, tends to stay at rest, a body in motion, tends to stay in motion". So today, I got to apply that to my walking. I got thru the first 5 miles fairly easily, with the majority of it being done at 3.3 miles an hour at a 3 percent grade. I took a quick break at 5 miles and came back to get the second half in. At 6.3 miles, I hit the wall. I had gotten 6.5 last week on Saturday, so I was not about to stop till I got 7 at least. At 7, I wondered if I had 8 miles in me. So I kept going. At 8 I debated about going ahead and stepping of the treadmill and calling a good effort. I spent so long debating about it that I was almost at 8.5 miles and at about that time, I started feeling better. My legs didn't hurt as much, my abs were a little loser and quite frankly, I just couldn't get myself to give up. I was a body in motion, and I was going to stay in motion as per my physics lessons! As I began to let my mind wander, I started thinking how that physics rule has applied to me in both respects over my life time. I got fat by applying the first condition, and I ahve thinned down some by applying the second. It is honestly that simple. I am doing nothing extreme, I mean I want to run, I just can't because of my ankles. I seriously just walk, hence the body in motion. That is all. And the more I have walked, the more I want to and can walk. A body in motion baby!




Day 142 HaHa! It Has Been A Great Day!

Man has it been a great day! I was dead on with eating and I got more walking in today than I have at once before! My Hogs are likely heading to the Sugar Bowl! I am in heaven today!

I decided that since it is getting cold out lately and I am not a fan, I should start trying to get myself used to the habit of walking on the treadmill. So today, I decided at first I was just going to go for 6 miles on it. Well then I got the urge to start using the preprogrammed workouts on it just to see what they were about. It has 4 programmed workouts. I started out using number 1. It was a 30 minute workout that was not too difficult. I moved on to number two, 30 minute workout, a little more challenging than 1, but still not hard. Now number 3 was significantly more difficult! The speeds and inclines stepped up a couple of notches and wow did it show! I finished it and by that time, I had a little over 4.5 miles in and an hour and a half. I decided to heck with it and hit program number 1 one more time to get 6 miles in! So I wound up satisfying both my goals for today with one effort!

Tomorrow is the day that Christine has challenged me to push myself walking. She has committed to a half marathon jogging, so I initially agreed to do a 10k, but since i did that today, I modified it to I am going to try for 10 miles tomorrow on the treadmill, walking of course. I am really getting pumped about pushing myself! I even let my calorie bank go on up to 1800 for this!

Okay I am gonna get off here. I need rest if I am gonna do that much walking at once, so ya'll be good and next time you see me post, it will be about my 10 mile excursion!





Friday, December 3, 2010

Day 141 Reality Check! And Hot 100 Update

Yeah I missed posting last night, so I decided to just get one in early today. I sure got a reality check today. Anybody that follows me knows that I have had a string of absolutely phenomenal losses, usually around 8 pounds for a two week period. Well that streak came to a halt today! I showed 224 on my scale, a mere two pounds lost in two weeks. The good thing is, I was ready for this to happen at any moment. I knew those large losses would not keep coming at that pace. At first I was a little confused how it could ONLY be two pounds. I did have a bit of an off weekend foodwise, but not enough for that much of a difference in weight loss. I exercised like a man possessed for the whole two weeks. But upon some thinking, I have decided not to shout the sky is falling just yet, not until my next weigh in. I also am wondering if the fact I have let sodas sneak back in to my routine on a regular basis may not be the issue. I have had about one 20 ounce a day for the last couple of weeks. Now I have been drinking water like crazy too, just I have had a soda just about every day for the last two weeks. I am going to go back to my soda every three days rule and see if that don't get something shaken up between now and the 17th.

As for my Hot 100 update, chugging along just fine I do believe. I am not sure the 210 by the 31st is quite as realistic given this weigh in, but I will continue to shoot for the moon and see how close I can get!! No white bread this week, and that is not even being a challenge anymore, I just don't want it! My veggie and fruits intake was good, not great, as I had cut calories for the last few days in an attempt to atone for last weekend (another reason my low loss was shocking) but they have been on par I would say. I did get a ton o' walking in this past weekend and all this week. 25 miles since the last update! So all in all, not a bad check in despite the limited weight loss. I am sure all my efforts will show up on the 17th and I will be happy as a lark to see them!



Thursday, December 2, 2010

Day 139 You Have Got To Be Kidding Me!!!

It is Wednesday of weigh in week and the anxiety begins. I love it. I love the anticipation, I love the anxiety, I love the extreme extreme focus I get on the last two days before weigh in. This weigh in holds a special place in my life though. Again, without any way to prove this, I am going to say that this will be the first time ever that I weigh LESS after Thanksgiving than I did before it! Now the real question is going to be, how much less I weigh this time as compared to two weeks ago. I seriously am hoping for something in the two hundred teens. I always start trying to envision the number I will see on Friday on Wednesday before, and for some reason I kept seeing 217 during my walk yesterday. I know it sounds crazy, but I am not wishing for that number, that is not why I see it, I just open my heart and the numbers come to me. I have been right waaaaaaaaaaay more times than not. I doubt this number, since that would be 9 pounds gone and 8 has been my trend. But I just couldn't shake that number off. It kept coming to me. I sincerely hope that I am right in my vision, but if I am not and a 220 something comes up, I am ok with that. And I will tell you why. I had a huge experience tonight. Not life changing huge I don't guess but in a way it was. I am getting giddy just fixing to type it. So about 6 months or so ago, my friend Vicki bought me a t-shirt at a yard sale. It was a University of Arkansas School of Law t-shirt, but it was a large. I told her thank you, but I would probably never be able to wear it, so don't get offended if she never sees me in it. She said she understood completely she just thought I would like it. Weeeeeeeell, I just got curious tonight after looking at the pictures from this past weekend, so I went in my closet, drug out the t-shirt with no X's in the size and holy cow would you believe that it fit on me!!!! Not quite perfectly, it was kinda tight on the chest, but not uncomfortably tight!! And it fit my belly just fine!!! I have never been more excited in my life!!!! I put on t-shirt with now X's!!! So regardless of my number on Friday, I am on cloud 9 for the time being. I wore that shirt all night tonight and just marveled at it the whole time. God is good, no God is GREAT!! Thank you so much for blessing me Lord. And thanks to each of you who follow and encourage me on my journey. It is my accountability to ya'll that keeps me focused on the hard days, that makes me be better than I am. It ya'lls stories that encourage me, that I draw strength and knowledge from. All this is just so amazing and seemed so impossible on July 16, 2010. But July 17, 2010 started a whole new chapter in my life, one that I am writing a new story line to everyday. And I am loving the plot so far!!!



Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Day 138 Feeling It, Just Feeling It

Great Tuesday! It couldn't have gotten much better I don't believe! Had just an awesome day diet wise, exercise wise, and otherwise!!

Diet wise, I have been holding back on my calories for the last few days, just in an attempt to show myself I could and to damage control the extras I got this last weekend. I did great once again today on that. Exercise wise, I had a great weight workout and I got my 4 miles of walking in today with no problem, even with sore muscles. Otherwise, Lauren had a whale of a basketball game tonight!! I could not stop smiling the whole night!! She scored 6 points, one of which was her first basket, caused two turn overs, and stole the ball!! I was the proudest poppa ever! I love that little girl!

I don't know if I have discussed my leather jacket on here or not, but if I have, sorry for the repeat. I have "re-acquired" my leather jacket from my teens and early 20's! It was cool at first to have it back, but last night, it was even more cool as this jacket is sooooo warm and it was sooooo cold last night! That makes it even more than an NSV, it was good economically for me! I even noticed last night that when I zip it up, there is some space between me and it! Which brings me to another issue I am having. I can't keep myself in clothes lately. My 36 pants I just bought, look horiffic on me now. Check it out:


so now I guess I am going to see about spending a little money at the thrift shop I love so much and getting some 34's and see if they fit better. wow, really. 34's. In my adult life, I have never glimpsed anything smaller than a 36 pant. I may even buy me a large shirt, so that if it doesn't fit, I at least have a goal to work towards! Life is so different for me now a days. God is blessing me so much. I don't even know how to let him know how thankful I am. I love the full heart feeling I get when I think of it. It is like a hug from Him!!

Well I better get off here and get to bed. I hope to read that everyone had as great of a day as I did tomorrow morning!! Night!!




Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Day 137 What The Real Problem Is

So I got some really great comments on my post from this morning. I think Sean may have struck a chord with his though. I will say this. I knew in my head I was making this past weekends eating behavior waaaay worse than it was in reality. I did great 90% of the time, and my transgressions were really honestly insignificant. I can honestly say that apart from Thanksgiving day, I never once busted 2000 calories a day any of the weekend days, but since my goal is 1500 a day, I was "failing". By all accounts, I think we would all safely say that 2000 calories a day is not evidence of a binge eater! So why was I so down on myself over that? Sean nailed it for me. It was a glimpse into the past, a look at the old Shane that made me uncomfortable. Without any hard evidence to back it up, I would guess that the old Shane would have easily broken 3500 calories each and every one of the days I was getting 2000, and the old Shane would have never walked 5 miles a day on all those days off, 6.5 miles on accident on one of the days! So I think I will take the harsh feelings about my "failure", and put them away. Having a good day today helped me out a lot. No wagons were fallen off of, no melt down ensued after my "failure". In fact, I had an exceptional day of exercise and eating. I showed myself that I am not the old Shane, I am this Shane. This is the norm, not this past weekends behavior. Although I still need to do some tweeking on this Shane, he is a damn sight better than the guy that walked into this blog a little over 4 months ago, and he is getting better every day!

I really would like to thank all of you who left comments this morning for keeping me centered and being supportive. It means a lot to me that you care enough to help me see the big picture and not wallow in my failure. Thanks so much for being there for me!



Monday, November 29, 2010

No Day Count, Just a Post of Reaffirmation

It is Monday morning after Thanksgiving. This post is not my usual day count and what not. It is one for me more than anything. I need to get things into words. I am not upset with how this weekend went. I made 90% good choices foodwise. I was 100% exercise wise. It is that 10% that has me bothered. No choices I made were bad this weekend. I did have sweets. I had two spoonfulls of pecan pie twice, a slice of peanut butter pie, but I had a complete small Dairy Queen Blizzard on the way home yesterday on a day I was kicking ass foodwise. Again, I KNOW I did good overall. What worries me is that even though my decisions were conscious decisions, not mindless, I may have rationalized them. I was famous for it before, I don't need that again. I never worried about being off the wagon, as I know I will be back to business starting today. I just worry that I said to myself " i made waaay more good decisions, the few bad ones are insignificant. It is a holiday and a visit with friends, this is not your everyday life". Yes both are true, but I really had high hopes going in to this that I would totally kick ass, not mostly kick ass. The good news, I have a do over coming my way with Christmas. It is not that I am mad at myself, I just need to know that I CAN do it. I have to know that push come to shove, I WILL be able to kick ass during a trying time. Again, I have total faith that in normal times, I am good. Starting today, I will be back to business as usual. I already got my weight work out in this morning, I am fixing to get out to Wal Mart for my usual morning walk. I just have some regrets about the opportunity to KICK ASS that I missed this go around.



Friday, November 26, 2010

Day 134 Hot 100 Update, Ruminations About My Thanksgiving Goal

Howdy folks, I am getting around to posting much earlier than usual. Kathy took her mom out to do some shopping. When she gets back, I suspect we will be leaving for Texas shortly after that. So I thought I would get this in now.

For my Hot 100 update, I would say score! Even with Thanksgiving factored in, I am on goal all the way around. No white bread, even when faced with the yeast rolls I love so much. A ton of veggies and even more fruit here lately. I have walked the 5 miles I planned on every day I have been off work and school. Aaaaaand I think that with my plan to counteract going over my calories on Thanksgiving, I will see a good loss come December 3rd!

I am not mad at myself over my going 500 over on calories yesterday. I wish I had kept myself in the confines, but on the other hand, I did go over deliberately, not mindlessly. And had I not gotten into the sweets, I was actually good I think. But I don't generally get sweet stuff and it all looked so good. I may be rationalizing, but you know, I KNOW by experience that one day off doesn't affect me really. I have had a couple of melt downs and never faltered getting back on plan. I can't see one good reason to be downtrodden. IN fact, I am excited. I love a good challenge, and now I am going to be working extra hard for Friday's weigh in to be a success! I did learn something today that has me thinking of changing up my workouts. I moved the treadmill into our spare room where I work out. If I am going to keep getting up at 4 or 4:30, then I am fixing to add some walking on the treadmill before I leave for work and still at Wal Mart when I drop off Lauren. I spend about an hour just farting around on the computer every morning while I drink coffee and I think that time could be better spent walking before my weight workout. I got a 5 mile walk in on it this morning, and it was great because I set it at one speed and don't slow down ever, no matter how tired I am. I liked it this morning! I knocked off 6 minutes because I had the treadle going the same speed and would not turn it down, unlike when I get tired and slow down without noticing. I can just see it now folks, 210 on December 31st!!



Day 133 A Little Short Of My Goal

Well I guess even planning doesn't always get you EXACTLY where you want to be every time. I would up being about a 1000 over my usual calorie bank. I am not worried or ashamed about it. I made good choices and did indulge in an appropriate amount. I got full, but only because I do not eat much at a time anymore and it affected me greatly to eat a real meal of that size. I am however still on track for another day of lower than usual calorie intake, and I think I may extend that policy to the end of the weekend. I think if I can keep myself in the 1250 calorie a day range, I will be on par for where I want to be at the December 3 weigh in.

All that being said, this day is not about my weight loss or food or shopping as seems to have taken over this time of year. It is about family, friends and well giving thanks! I am so glad that I got to do all three this year. My family came for their annual pop in, eat, and leave routine. I wish that they would visit a little more but it is what it is. I did however get to go hang around with my friend Jason and his family and watch the Cowboy game. I have to say, that was quite the nail biter. I love game that gives you butterflies in your stomach in the fourth quarter. I was initially mad at Roy, but in reality, he didn't really do anything wrong,that was exceptional effort on the defenders part. Jason and Izetta and Kathy and I and all the children had a blast just hanging out and acting like fools. I feel like the Hunters are our family too. I only wish we could have gotten some time with the Fredricks this year too, but it was not to be.

Well I am going to get off here and get to bed. Ya'll have a wonderful evening, and a great weekend. I am off to Texas tomorrow to visit with Kathy's peeps, I don't know that I will be posting regularly, so if I am in cognito, ya'll have a wonderful weekend and I will see you on the other side of it!



Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Day 132 Score One For Shane!

I know I posted about getting 5 days off, and really I do have 5 days of no physically going to school and no going to work. But this 5 days is hardly me getting to goof off or really relax a great deal. I spent my first day off being pretty productive in general. I have a paper that is supposed to be a group project. The group has been less than useful to date, so I began some research in earnest last week. Well I gathered a great deal of info and began putting it together this past Sunday. I got about 2/3 done but ran out of time, so today I got it done, or at least the body of it. I am going to do the citations page tomorrow and try to get a power point for the presentation started. I also got the Christmas tree and the tree decorations down for tomorrow's festivities. Kathy and Lauren and I always put the tree up after Thanksgiving dinner. Well I put the tree together, they decorate it, I guess. but it is a family affair.

So in prep for Thanksgiving, ya'll recall me talking about my 5 miles a day challenge for myself I am sure. And I also planned on giving myself and extra 500 calories to navigate the day with. I thought up just one more wrinkle today while getting my walk in. I decided to take 250 from today's bank and 250 calories from Friday's bank to even out the excess. I wasn't sure I was going to be able to get myself down to 1250 calories, especially considering the extra activity I planned and especially with today's extra activity I did not plan. Lauren and I went on a nice length bike ride and did a lot of racing during it, then we climbed up and down the attic stairs dragging the tree and boxes of decorations, then a Wii tournament. It has been much easier than I imagined to stay below 1250 calories! I just moved some eating times around, cut some stuff out I normally eat, and had a super good supper and voila, 1200 calories for today! I also plan on moving a few calories around tomorrow to allow me to eat at a reasonable level for the actual thanksgiving meal. I see no reason why I shouldn't be able to be successful given today's triumph! So score one for the Shane-meister! Day 1 is a win!!



Day 131 Bizarro Closet!

It finally got here! I am off work and don't have to go to school for 5 days!!! I still have a paper to work on, but no chapters to read, no quizzes to take, no pleadings to type, and no pressure from clients. I hope to finish my paper before Turkey Day, and that will leave me a little less pressured on it. And I am looking forward to a Texas trip this weekend. I do love our Texas folks and visiting them is always a blast! It will also add a dimension to my 5 mile a day challenge. I will have to figure out how I am gonna get them in in a foreign place! I bet I am up to it!

So Sunday evening, I got this burr under my saddle. I had been thinking about how stuffed my side of the closet is right now. I have quite a few clothes over there, so I was thinking I needed to go thru and see what I can and can't wear. I got up, walked in there and just did it. I had the wildest time! I got rid of piles and piles of t shirts, polos, dress shirts, and pants! It was weird to see so many clothes leave for BEING TOO BIG!!!! I tend to be putting away the last size I just outgrew and thinking those were the good ol' days! I know clothes are clothes, but they mean so much more when you are on a lifestyle change plan. They are kind of an outward indication of how successful you have been, they are your reward for being successful, cause let's call a spade a spade, fat clothes are not typically made to be sexy! And who doesn't love the fact that you can go into Wal Mart and look at the sizes that don't cost the extra $2 for extended sizes. Oh another story. I was in Wal Mart the other day. Historically, I would see a shirt I liked, rifle through the rack to see if they had that shirt in 3X, find out they didn't, grumble about prejudice against fat people and move on. So I find this set of shirts I liked, began to rifle through the rack in excitement cause there is always and XL!! I will be damned if there was not one XL, but tons of 2X and 3X!! I had to laugh!

I am sitting around here hyper as hell tongight! I laid off the walking today for two reasons. I wanted to rest up for the challenge of the next 5 days and I had been walking for either 3 weeks or a month straight at least 2 miles everyday but usually closer to 4. My legs needed it. The other reason I chose to hold off was to prove to myself I don't have an addiction to walking. I was seriously starting to wonder. Well I guess not expending the energy has got me totally wound up! I am dreaming of my feet hitting the road tomorrow morning and getting that first 5 miles in! I am borderline obsessed over this thing!

Ok, I am going to try to go to bed folks. I should see you tomorrow for sure but I make no promises about the rest of the weekend. I am sure I will post, but not for sure. If I don't see you guys, have a great Thanksgiving!! Make smart choices and see about getting your exercise in regardless of the circumstances!



Monday, November 22, 2010

Day 130 The School Bus

Monday Monday! Only one more day of work and I am so off for 5 days! wow! Needed that.

Ok, I am betting this NSV I am about to disclose is common to all of my bloggy buddies. I could be wrong. Let's see.

So I don't work on Fridays, so I take Lauren to school and head either back home or to Wal Mart for work. I drive right by 2/3's of the schools in Van Buren and typically at some point, I get caught behind a bus somewhere. So I got stuck behind one on Friday. I always get a little nervous behind those things when there are kids in the back seat. And I bet each and every one of you knows why. That fear. The fear that these kids, who can do pretty much whatever they want, noticing you and making gestures or writing rude notes and putting them in the window for you to read, etc etc. As a fat person, you are fair game. I have gotten all the common ones, the monkeying a fat guy, blown up cheeks, "hey fatty!" on notebook paper. Yeah. So as an instinct, I braced myself for something to be thrown my way. Then I remembered by Arvest Bank drive thru experience, how I saw my self in the camera image, and I wasn't that guy anymore! Suddenly, I was excited once again about my progress! I didn't have to put up with kids with the ultimate anonymity harassing me, attacking my self confidence, devaluing me because I am fat. It is great!

Anybody else have stories like that? Let's hear them!



Sunday, November 21, 2010

Day 129 Wondering About Thanksgiving Day

Oh what a weekend! I was stuck being academic all weekend.I got a ton of research done on my paper, got my chapter read, tested over it, read two essays and answered the questions over those, and then got a fair deal of the paper started. I also got my honey do's done too today except getting the Christmas tree down out of the attic. I just ran out of time (to be read that I didn't want to) so it will come down one day this week.

I was out walking this morning (again) and it kind of occurred to me that I will likely be the star of my own show this Thursday. In our family, it is all about stuff yourself to the gills on Thanksgiving day and then go back for more that evening once it processes. Well I don't plan on getting nuts at all. In fact, I am only going to allow 500 extra calories and I don't KNOW that I will do that. But I promise, every one here will be watching me to see how I handle this. They may not say anything, but I promise, eyes will be cutting and seeing what my plate looks like when I start eating. I bet once I set the fork down, once more, eyes will come my way. I don't know what they expect to see, but I know what they will see. Me doing just fine thank ya.

I am not ready for Monday yet, but I am looking forward to getting the day off on Wednesday and hanging with my Lauren! I also look forward to my 5 mile days challenge!! I am dorky for it I know, but it still makes me happy to think of it.





Day 128 Dawne Tagged Me


So Dawne, one of my favoritest bloggers, tagged me for the Honest Scrap Iron award. I am to write 10 honest things about myself then tag four more bloggers. I am not sure I am up to the challenge, but I will take a whack at it.

1. I have had a whale of a family life and often wondered how I turned out relatively "normal" I was adopted twice, the second time by my birth mother, suffered physical and mental abuse, never really knew any amount of my family throughout my adolescence. I did however have a absolutely AWESOME network of friends and their parents, which I do credit with keeping me out of the trouble I could have been getting into.

2. I really am pretty smart. I maintained straight A's through the 11th grade in high school, but my senior year, I checked out. I ended my tenure with a 2.75 GPA after failing every class I did not need to graduate from high school my senior year. I also missed out on a scholarship to college over that mess.

3. I screwed up several opportunities over the years to go back to school and I blame that on my love of money. I got "good paying" jobs out of high school and partied my money away rather than saving it for school.

4. I have always been very very fortunate in the friends department. I make very good friends and we always support each other through thick and thin. I may not have had great ties with my biological family, but my friends have been all the family I have ever needed many times.

5. I wish I could be musical! Nothing else in the world touches me more than a great drum solo, a soulful piano, or a mean electric guitar riff! I think if I had to choose and could be great at one instrument, it would be the piano. So many styles of music sound good on a piano. You can rock it out, you can touch hearts with a classical style, you can church it up with some worship music, the piano is just so versatile!

6. Being in a good marriage is everything I thought it could be and more! I spent much of my life chasing the wrong girl, and luckily, God didn't let me catch any of them for too long. I had this dream of a great marriage, and knowing what I know of those girls now, I am thankful God made me wait for Kathy!!

7. Being a parent, even if it is a step dad, is so rewarding! It has its frustrations too, but the rewards far outweigh the challenges! I love Lauren McGill so much and to see her grow and transform over the past 4 years has been and honor and a blessing that I cannot express how happy it makes me to have.

8. I am an uber confident person, and sometimes that bothers me. I don't like cocky people, and I am never verbal about my confidence in my ability to do various things, but I still feel like I should be more humble. I struggle with thinking that it is ok, heck even a good trait to be confident, but I just don't want to get too big for my britches.

9. I am getting a bald spot on the back of my head, and I don't care. I have a luscious full head of hair when I grow it out, but that one bald spot. I get grief from Kathy and Mom about it, but the thing is, I don't care. I have said more than once, if I go bald, it is one less thing I have to worry about!

10. This journey, this wonderful weight loss journey, is an answered prayer from God. I am so thankful. I am already leaning on Him to answer my second prayer related to weight loss, maintenance. He has already touched my heart with a word about maintenance. God has told me I need to be just as excited about my achievements in maintenance as I have been in loss. That is such a great idea! I think that is where the day counting will come in. I am going to give myself a 5 pound range to stay within in maintenance, and celebrate every day I stay within that range!

So there you have it folks, the ABC's of me. I am not fo' sho' who I am going to tag yet. I may take a page from Dawne and ponder it for a day or two.

In regular news, I had an huge success tonight. Kathy and I ate at our favorite mexican restaurant tonight. I ordered the taquitos with chicken in them and a salad, pico de gallo, and guac on the side. When the plate arrived, it was in portions of food that in the past, I would have scoffed at and proceeded to order a la carte so I could have enough food. Tonight, those portions looked normal to me! That was a great feeling specifically because I needed to be successful outside of the home, where I control the portions of food I eat. Oh happy day!




Friday, November 19, 2010

Day 127 Hot 100 Update And A Milestone For Me

It is Friday! I love having Fridays off from work. It is kinda rough on the pocket book, but man. So today started off with a bang for me. It is weigh in day. I wrote about how nervous I was last night, had that feeling like right before you take the field, nervous, jittery, butterflies in the stomach kind of stuff. Well, I took the field this morning and it turns out, I won!!! I am too lazy to go look back, but I am pretty sure I talked at some point about setting my next goal weight to be 228, but during one of my morning walking sessions, I kept seeing 226. It must have been God sending me early results, cause I made it to 226 pounds this week!! I now KNOW I weigh less right now than I ever weighed during the 2000-2001 era I talk about so much when I lost like 73 pounds. I honestly can't recall if I got down to 233 or 237 pounds at that time, but I do know I never got to the 220's!!! And it seems like my senior year, the last weigh in we had, I was 219. Again, I can't recall for sure, but that seems right. So my next goal is now to get down to 218 pounds. I know that is a lofty goal, as I have been losing fairly large amounts of weight at a time, and that will have to slow down sooner or later. I just keep steeling myself for that day so that I do not go into a spiral of disappointment. But for now, I am going to shoot for the moon and keep my next goal at 218. I now have to set my mind as to how I am going to get there. I think that my Thanksgiving week plan to get a ton o' walking in is a good step in that direction. I have also found a new obsession with trying to build up my jogging ability and working on getting squats done too. I suspect that in all that activity, along with some great eating, I will give myself a good outside shot at getting to my next goal.

Now on to my Hot 100 update. I have what I think may be a no no on it this time. I will need a ruling though. I ate a Fresco Chicken Burrito Supreme from Taco Bell for supper the other night. Not thinking about the tortilla. Since one of my goals is to not eat white bread, I have to wonder, is a tortilla a form of white bread? It slipped past me when I ordered it and Kathy thought of it while we were eating. Not that if it is, that derails me, I just need to know for future reference. As for the 5k goal, still using the edit of getting copious amounts of walking in, but I did do a little test jog last night on the treadmill and I got a half mile in and really did feel like I could have done more. I just leave room for improvement, it drives me on to strive for better. My fruits and vegetable have been up a little this week. I added an orange to my afternoon snack regimen. It is cold and flu season and the added vitamin C cant hurt right? Now for the crazy thing. I have officially blown away my original weight loss goal of 240, and now have passed up my edit of 230. Keeping in mind that this challenge goes on until December 31, I am not too sure what to set my end goal as giving consideration to the fact that I continue to lose at a fairly good rate. As I said above, at some point that is going to have to slow down. So here is my new goal. I just added it up and I have three more weigh ins between now and Dec 31. I am currently at 226 pounds. I think it is realistic to go ahead and shoot for 210 pounds by Dec 31. What do ya'll think?



Thursday, November 18, 2010

Day 126 Butterflies In My Stomach!

I will get right to it. I am nervous as hell. Tomorrow is weigh in day and I have myself all worked up right now. I am hoping I have done enough to have lost at least 5 pounds this last two weeks. I so desperately want to be in the 220's right now. It would for sure, no doubt about it, be the least I have weighed since 2001 and maybe as light as I have been since I was 20.That would be huge!! So this feels like right before you take the field, only it is kinda backwards. I have to see if I won based on what I did do, not on what I am about to do.

I have a habit of thinking ahead a couple of months when I am walking in the mornings. For some reason, I skipped a few months today. I went straight to July. I was skinny, tan and moving around just fine thank ya! I think that the ability to think ahead is one of the keys to my success so far. You have to look past the pain, the frustration, the soreness and tiredness and understand that in one week, this workout or this hunger or this emotional state will be less powerful, your strength, your courage, your determination will be gaining power, and that 1 mile of walking won't be enough for you. You will need two, then three, then five. That 2000 calories bank you try to stick to out of fear, goes down to 1800 and then 1500. This story is mine in a nutshell. I saw all of it happen too. I forecast it in my early days. I could just feel it happening, even before it happened. That is how the thoughts of maintenance have started already, I want to envision maintenance and make it real too.

I apologize for kinda rambling but I am just nervous and excited and scared and hopeful tonight. I would appreciate any good thoughts ya'll could send my way.



Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Day 125. Arvest Drive Thru Cameras Are Great!!!

Hello fellow bloggers. I am pretty excited today. I had me some turkey chili that I cooked myself and it was yummo! I had my usual yogurt after supper too. I checked my blood sugar about 15 minutes later and it was 129!! Now to understand the significance of this statement, you have to understand. 4 months ago, on July 17, my blood sugar, after not having eaten for quite awhile, was like 278 I think. I think it is common knowledge that a blood sugar of that level is, well, not good. Heck, it is bad! A typical after meal blood sugar was usually well into the 300's! It is so great to keep seeing the wonderful changes! I checked my blood pressure AFTER my morning workout the other day, probably about 10 minutes after, and my bp was 118/72 with a 69 pulse! I mean wow guys! I love this!

To keep adding to things that make me excited, I had a super cool experience in the bank drive thru the other day. I took some money to deposit it at Arvest Bank, a local bank here. Well they have small screens that when you pull up, have a shot of you in them, then when the teller is interacting with or talking to you, it cuts to a picture of them. So I pulled up to the transaction box and looked at that screen, it was amazing! I remember pulling up to that screen on many occasions and being upset with my appearance. That day, that wonderful day, I looked like a "normal" guy to me! No huge belly hanging out in front of me, no double chin, I even looked kinda suave in my sunglasses and with my hair gelled!

All that being said, I still find it hard to let myself get happy about the physical stuff. I feel like I am being vain. Vanity is one of my pet peeves, so as you can imagine, it bothers me to think I am being vain. Is there a fine line between being proud of your accomplishments and being vain? I don't know. I just know that now, as opposed to the past, I don't feel awkward when I walk through Wal Mart, kids don't stare at me with some sort of awe. People don't do the breaking eye contact thing, I don't feel inferior to some skinny guy in an Under Armour shirt. Am I where I want to be yet? No, not even close, but sometimes, you have to stop and take inventory and say, humm not bad. Have you stopped to take stock? Have you had that Arvest drive thru moment? Tell me all about it.

Ok, below is a picture of me and my buddy Jason. In this picture, I am around 300, give or take:


In this picture, I am around 255. Not really a great picture other than it shows some progress:

and here is my new favorite picture, Sean Anderson and myself on November 15, 2010:


So there you go folks. A brief history of my journey.


Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Day 124 Triump In The Midst Of Tragedy

First and foremost, thanks so much to those that offered condolences on the passing of my beloved puppy Scooter. It means so much that ya'll cared to take time out of your day to acknowledge the loss of my Scooter. I love you guys.

But, as is so often true, if you look for the silver lining in the darkest cloud, there is one to be found. I discovered something about myself that made me very proud and that proved to me how much I have changed over the past 4 months. I don't hesitate or hang my head in shame to say that I was emotionally distraught over Scooter's passing. I cried tears a plenty and am not ashamed to say it. It took me till after lunch today to get myself gathered enough to think of all the good times and realize that Scooter is in heaven now with all my loved ones. Even though it was not my time to go yet, it was Scooter's. And now my loved ones have a very important part of me to hold on to and play with until I see them and Scooter again in the great by and by. However, in all that, I never once had the old urge to eat my pain away. 5 months ago, once I had shoveled the last shovel full of dirt and cried, I would have come directly inside, dialed up Dominoes Pizza, and ate that pain down as far as it could go. I do not exaggerate when I say that my first desire, the first thing I thought once I got settled in and realized that it was for real, was I can't wait for tomorrow's workouts. I really need to get my weight lifting and walking on to deal with my emotions. I found myself wishing it wasn't so late so I could go for a long lonely walk and process. I have replaced food as an insulator and chosen to exercise and deal. That folks is a huge step. It is like monkey's using tools!

I also have been concerned that with all the walking I have been doing, I am getting my legs in too good of shape and they aren't feeling the work out of a 2 or 3 mile walk. I decided that today, I would try to get some squats done during my weight workout to wear my legs out before walking. I was shocked at how much better my form was and how much easier it was to do squats with 63 pounds gone off of me! It was so neat. I just kept going and going and wound up with 40. Could have done more but I wanted to save my legs since it was 4 mile day.

I had to think quick and made a less than great choice for supper tonight. I am in the unenviable position of dealing with my own emotions regarding Scooter's death, I am also nursing Lauren along as she is crushed, now Kathy is down with the stomach flu today and I had a presentation I had to do for my class tonight. Add to that the fact that Lauren was supposed to go to basketball practice and Girl Scouts tonight and I was feeling stressed. So on the way home, Kathy had asked me to pick up stuff to help with her stomach condition and to feed Lauren from the Wal Mart Deli. So knowing I was running tight on time and there was not a meal awaiting me at home, I picked up a half pound of the General Tso's chicken from the deli for my supper. I did eat it all but I was at like 700 calories at the time, so I am not overly concerned about having gone over. I think I estimated it at 500 for the whole batch. chicken alone would be 320, and the sauce was very light, so I think 500 sounds about right. Yogurt and peanut butter celery rounded me out for the evening and it looks like a 1420 calorie kind of day for me! Now once I button this blog up, I am looking at going to sleep and starting off tomorrow with a much better outlook than today and getting me some more exercise in. It is weigh in week, so I best be on my best good behavior!!