Monday, November 29, 2010
No Day Count, Just a Post of Reaffirmation
It is Monday morning after Thanksgiving. This post is not my usual day count and what not. It is one for me more than anything. I need to get things into words. I am not upset with how this weekend went. I made 90% good choices foodwise. I was 100% exercise wise. It is that 10% that has me bothered. No choices I made were bad this weekend. I did have sweets. I had two spoonfulls of pecan pie twice, a slice of peanut butter pie, but I had a complete small Dairy Queen Blizzard on the way home yesterday on a day I was kicking ass foodwise. Again, I KNOW I did good overall. What worries me is that even though my decisions were conscious decisions, not mindless, I may have rationalized them. I was famous for it before, I don't need that again. I never worried about being off the wagon, as I know I will be back to business starting today. I just worry that I said to myself " i made waaay more good decisions, the few bad ones are insignificant. It is a holiday and a visit with friends, this is not your everyday life". Yes both are true, but I really had high hopes going in to this that I would totally kick ass, not mostly kick ass. The good news, I have a do over coming my way with Christmas. It is not that I am mad at myself, I just need to know that I CAN do it. I have to know that push come to shove, I WILL be able to kick ass during a trying time. Again, I have total faith that in normal times, I am good. Starting today, I will be back to business as usual. I already got my weight work out in this morning, I am fixing to get out to Wal Mart for my usual morning walk. I just have some regrets about the opportunity to KICK ASS that I missed this go around.
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The ability to identify when we're rationalizing bad choices that made up our old behaviors--is key--and you're doing exactly that. With that said--I think it's important for you to understand and accept, that you have come a long way and continue to stride forward with confidence. Don't get down on yourself too hard--just proceed as you have, with a clarity, self-honesty, and confidence you didn't have in previous attempts. There's a fine line between "not being too hard on yourself" and "rationalizing bad choices," but your self-honesty and personal responsibility should keep you in check very well.
ReplyDeleteThis post reminded me of me---when I deliberately ate cheese and crackers when I knew it broke my budget--and the Cracker Barrel Meltdown of February 2010--Both occasions insignificant really--in hindsight, but to me---it was a glimpse of my old-self that I didn't like. Further proof that it isn't about the food--it's all about the mental dynamics. Your success is inspiring, my friend!
My best always,
Sean
You know what you did and you put it out for the world to know. You have a plan for Christmas food. Go forth and stick to plan, my friend.
ReplyDeleteJust knowing that you are contemplating your decisions this weekend shows how far you have come. Just remember there were days when you would've eaten like that all the time and not given it a second thought. See how far you have come past that? I understand exactly what you are feeling. I had a less than successful week/weekend myself and spent so much time beating myself up for my decisions. But THAT in itself tells me I'm at a better place then I was before when I would've eaten that way ALL THE TIME and thought it was NORMAL! I agree with Sean that it is like seeing our old selves, seeing behavior we don't like. But now we know that we CAN and WILL do better. That is success!
ReplyDeleteI have also found that anything out of my normal daily routine causes me to slip up very easily. I tend to want to enjoy and reward myself for my weight loss by allowing a "treat" here and there. Once in a while doesn't hurt and I think you did really well. Just concentrate now on moving forward and don't focus on what you "did" but what you will do.
Hey Shane...Sean said it best up there. It's all about the mental dynamics. And look how far you've come!! You're barely 100 days into this and yet you have so much about yourself figured out. As long as you keep reflecting and being introspective about what's going on in your head, you will most definitely kick ass!!
ReplyDeleteShane...human..yep..we will never be perfect. I slipped up a bit too and ate 2 popcorn balls. I planned to mail a package to my daughter and include them but decided they were too HARD and then proceeded to eat one and a couple of hours later another. My salvation was they did taste good...today I'm writing down everything I eat! I hate to do that..it is so tedious!
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