Day 120 Shhhhhhhhh! I Had A Bowl Of Cereal!! Hot 100 Update

Good Friday to mah peeeples! I have been a busy bee today and once again I broke my rule of no exercise on Friday. I had to go to Wal Mart for some supplies for the party tomorrow and lo and behold, the allure was just to great. I hit a quick two miles while there. Funny thing is, I got an unintended work out as well after that. I came home and decided that I would rather do physical labor than to do homework (I know tough choice, right?) so I got to work getting the floor trim that Kathy had painted awhile back put back on the wall. I didn't notice right away, but I made a wonderful discovery! Each time I got down on the floor on my belly to line up the trim and then to nail it in, I got up so quickly, effortlessly and easily!! This being lighter and in better shape it turns out is pretty damn cool!!! Which leads me to my Hot 100 Update. Cruising along folks. I don't way until next Friday but I suspect that I will be below my edited weight loss goal of 230 pounds. I have actually added even more fruits to my diet, still steady with the vegetable intake. I have been walking slightly more than I had last week, trying to get an average of 4 miles a day in on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Still plan on 5 miles on Saturdays and Sundays. And no white bread either! I love this challenge Steve! I credit it with my success in these last days! It forced me to look at aspects of my journey that I was not focused on before!

So I have been preaching that I eat whatever I want in this diet for awhile now. But, I kinda discovered that is not always true. I have began to deny myself things along the way. I am not saying I deserve these things, but I kinda wonder if that is not one of the root causes of the two mini melt downs I have had over the last month and a half. I have kinda turned into a food snob, and not saying that is a bad thing, but the reality is I do like food. I just need to redefine my relationship with it. So today, I built me a treat into my calorie bank. I decided that I would have a bowl of cereal after supper. Not my Special K cereal mind you, but the sugary cereal Lauren has had around for awhile. I had plenty of room left on the bank, as I have had here lately, so I used it to have a cup of cereal and a cup of mild for my night snack. I have to admit I worried about having guilt or a full on melt down, but truth be told, it was just cereal. It was good, but it didn't waken a monster in me. I enjoyed it rather than eating it mindlessly and when it was done, that was that. So good to have that mentality! I think the food demons are really being exorcised this time around. I have figured out that I can enjoy food, but I must actually ENJOY it, not shovel it into my mouth mindlessly. And of course there must be moderation in my enjoyment.

I was thinking about a funny statement I recall making on waaay more than one occasions and wondering if I was the only person in this blogosphere that has said this before. I used to always see somebody in Wal Mart or the mall or at a restaurant that was overweight, but they were just slightly overweight. They had a belly, but just a small beer gut kinda thing going on. I would say to myself "man, I wish I was just that fat!" Has anybody else ever did that? I guess looking back, it is a funny thing to wish to only be a certain level of fat. And truth be told, I think I am presently "just that fat". But here is the thing. I am not satisfied being "just that fat". Now, I want to achieve a healthy weight, not be "just that fat". I feel that desire in my heart and in my soul. I envision it during my walks, during my weight lifting and when I day dream while driving. I see the healthy trim and fit Shane of the future. I have some flaws still in the day dream, but I am healthy, happy and smiling in this vision! "Just that fat" is not an option in this vision. Healthy is the end goal now.