Losing It For The Family

Losing It For The Family

Monday, November 8, 2010

Day 115 Full Scale Melt Down

I am here to report that Sunday was an epic fail for me. More troubling though is the fact that I can't point to a reason, no root cause is obvious. No finger pointing to be had. I was cruising along just fine all day until around 2 or so. I had been laying on the couch watching football and waiting for Kathy to come home so we could get a mile walk in to finish out my 5 miles for the day. I got up to go get some water in the kitchen and passed by Lauren's Halloween candy. I had not even thought about it even though I passed by it several times a day before, but this time, I got a small bag of skittles out and ate them, then another and a third. After that, I polished off the 4 biscuits and the gravy that was left over from the breakfast I cooked for Kathy! I was not mindlessly doing it, I knew all along it was not the best idea for me to do it, but I did it anyway! Worse more, Kathy brought home the nuts we had ordered through Lauren's Girl Scout troop and i had some of those too without counting the calories. I was, relative to the recent past, out of control folks. Now, I did stem the tide after that. I do feel back in complete control now. I have no doubts about my continued success from this point forward. I sat down and thought it over, and while I am disappointed in myself for letting that happen, there will be no self imposed beating. I will accept it for what it is, be mindful of my feelings towards this behavior, and move forward with my goals intact and my resolve possibly even stronger than before. I think that this blog, this forum for release, is possibly what was missing before in my other weight loss journeys. I have come to the conclusion based on my experiences in all facets of life, not just this journey, that if you keep quiet about things like this, if you allow them to permeate your thoughts with no relief valve, that is when you lose the battle, that is when you give your self doubt and self loathing power to change your resolve, too change your power position. Owning your actions and your future are very important, do not let them own you! So I come to you, my fellow Band of Brothers and Sisters, with this disclosure. I did a bad job today. I accept that, I own that. I also accept that it does not change me as a person, it does not own me and it will not affect my performance from this point forward. I am back on track, I am ready to continue this change in my life.

That being said, I consider the melt down a small part of a great week. I was dead on other than that with my eating, I walked a total of 24.5 miles this week, and I accomplished a great deal of housework this weekend. I also got some NFL time in today while Kathy was out taking care of Girl Scout business. I watched two full games and it was great! I still love my Cowboys, but I am keeping and eye on the Browns and the Raiders for the rest of this year as each has a running back from the University of Arkansas that are enjoying success right now and that makes me happy.

Looking at my schedule for this week it looks like I may be able to get about the same walking mileage this week. I am ramping up in anticipation of my Thanksgiving break challenge which will potentially leave me with 30 miles walked that week! I get all goose bumpy looking forward to that week! Am I a freak?

Ok, I am signing off here. I hope that each and every one of you has a great week and accomplishes all that you want to!!



13 comments:

  1. It's hard to be perfect :)
    You are doing great. Keep it up.

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  2. Hey friend...I don't want to, for one minute, minimize your feelings on this. But to me this sounds more like a mini-meltdown. If you're anything like me, my meltdowns in in the past involved tens of thousands of calories over a large span of time.

    You made a few choices you didn't feel good about, but then you stopped immediately and started to analyze what was going on. My guess is that when you think about it, even the food going down wasn't near as satisfying as it used to be. That even when you feel bad and guilty about the mini binge, the binge itself didn't provide even the short-lived sense of pleasure that it used to. If that's the case, then that's a great lesson to learn!

    Weekends can be tricky...I know you've expressed some apprehension about them before. You may have to come up with some strategies to deal with them.

    Mostly what I want to say to you is that you are doing a fantastic job and I'm infinitely thankful that you're here in blogland. You're helping me on my journey and I truly appreciate you! I'll be praying for you today as I always do!

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  3. What SHE said!
    And also, the true cliches:
    Fall down x times.
    Stand back up x+1 times.
    Really - I think it's ALL adjusting!
    Not perfection.
    And *hugs*

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  4. You brought this up before, but it looks like it happened again: you ate because you were alone. And lonely. You were alone in the house, right? Please consider putting into place some strategies for avoiding the kitchen when you are home by yourself. I'm glad that you can see the big picture and that you realize that your week as a whole was fantastic, so even this one day may have derailed you, ultimately it's no harm done!!!
    Christine
    www.phoenixrevolution.net

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  5. I was just reading on www.RealAge.com that one should tell the self-imposed guilt trip to hit the road, forgive yourself and move on! I actually planned on some 'illegal' food yesterday since it was my birthday and I had some wine too haha..now back on track or program.

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  6. Shane, what you experienced yesterday is the main reason why I'm even blogging. I have those mini-meltdowns and before they have usually/always been the beginning of the end for my eating plan. I still have them, but like yours, they are shorter and I get back on track now. I am hoping through this to figure out why I do this and how to prevent it.

    You are so on the right track. Don't beat yourself up, acknowledge what happened and move on!

    Happy Monday!

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  7. There will be times when we do this. Blogging it out will help keep it from happening again. Biscuits and gravy for breakfast? Who needs that crap? Get rid of the candy or at least out of sight. That being said, you are rocking this diet and exercise thing. Know that. Back on track today. Nuff said

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  8. When I was complaining about one of my meltdowns, a very wise Weight Watcher leader said to me, "Consider it a vegetable and move on..." That got me laughing and worked for me!

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  9. These slips help us figure out why we overeat. Learn from it. Think about it. And, get right back on track! We've all been there and get it. You will have slip ups less and less as you continue on in the journey to health!

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  10. We all have days like this, and its these days that make us NOT failures, but winners because we are able to figure out why and how to fix it. You are a winner just for all the thought and effort you are putting in. that right there is how we make success!

    Jennifer

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  11. Hey Shane I am a believer that things happen for a reason. Maybe this one min- meltdown was to give you a little jolt to reflect on your decisions, reasons and outcomes. These lessons are about learning, we've all gone through them - the most important part is the realization and ownership of what happened and moving forward... here's to a great week :)

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  12. Oh a mini binge. I see. You know what? I bought a big bag of organic baby carrots and grapes for days like this! I am guilty of being a binger. I am just like you, I know what is happening and I still do it. It sucks.

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  13. Thank you for posting this. It helps with my own journey and also brings up thoughts I need to think about for myself. I have the tendency to hide away and be silent and let it fester until I give in all the way. It so much better to talk it out even if there is no explanation why just yet putting it out there helps keep your resolve. My absent posts are because of hiding. Thanks for bringing it into the light.

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