Day 115 Full Scale Melt Down

I am here to report that Sunday was an epic fail for me. More troubling though is the fact that I can't point to a reason, no root cause is obvious. No finger pointing to be had. I was cruising along just fine all day until around 2 or so. I had been laying on the couch watching football and waiting for Kathy to come home so we could get a mile walk in to finish out my 5 miles for the day. I got up to go get some water in the kitchen and passed by Lauren's Halloween candy. I had not even thought about it even though I passed by it several times a day before, but this time, I got a small bag of skittles out and ate them, then another and a third. After that, I polished off the 4 biscuits and the gravy that was left over from the breakfast I cooked for Kathy! I was not mindlessly doing it, I knew all along it was not the best idea for me to do it, but I did it anyway! Worse more, Kathy brought home the nuts we had ordered through Lauren's Girl Scout troop and i had some of those too without counting the calories. I was, relative to the recent past, out of control folks. Now, I did stem the tide after that. I do feel back in complete control now. I have no doubts about my continued success from this point forward. I sat down and thought it over, and while I am disappointed in myself for letting that happen, there will be no self imposed beating. I will accept it for what it is, be mindful of my feelings towards this behavior, and move forward with my goals intact and my resolve possibly even stronger than before. I think that this blog, this forum for release, is possibly what was missing before in my other weight loss journeys. I have come to the conclusion based on my experiences in all facets of life, not just this journey, that if you keep quiet about things like this, if you allow them to permeate your thoughts with no relief valve, that is when you lose the battle, that is when you give your self doubt and self loathing power to change your resolve, too change your power position. Owning your actions and your future are very important, do not let them own you! So I come to you, my fellow Band of Brothers and Sisters, with this disclosure. I did a bad job today. I accept that, I own that. I also accept that it does not change me as a person, it does not own me and it will not affect my performance from this point forward. I am back on track, I am ready to continue this change in my life.

That being said, I consider the melt down a small part of a great week. I was dead on other than that with my eating, I walked a total of 24.5 miles this week, and I accomplished a great deal of housework this weekend. I also got some NFL time in today while Kathy was out taking care of Girl Scout business. I watched two full games and it was great! I still love my Cowboys, but I am keeping and eye on the Browns and the Raiders for the rest of this year as each has a running back from the University of Arkansas that are enjoying success right now and that makes me happy.

Looking at my schedule for this week it looks like I may be able to get about the same walking mileage this week. I am ramping up in anticipation of my Thanksgiving break challenge which will potentially leave me with 30 miles walked that week! I get all goose bumpy looking forward to that week! Am I a freak?

Ok, I am signing off here. I hope that each and every one of you has a great week and accomplishes all that you want to!!