Monday, August 23, 2010

Day 39 Yeah That Student Desk Is My B*tch!!

First day of school was all in all a good one. I went to my lunch time class and I ran into a couple of friends in it. It is Sociology of the Family and it seems like it may be an ok class. Then my evening class, which is distance learning also, which means that the professor is in our classroom but there is a video and audio link to 5 other classes throughout the state, was not quite so great. The technology is just not up to par yet and it is always a cluster. So it took a lot longer than it should have for trying to get things started so I didn't get out as early as I would like. But I do like this professor and I don't mind it going longer I guess.

Had a weird kind of eating day. Not a bad weird, a good weird. I always read Christine's blog and say, how does she get by on those calories? I mean seriously, if she makes a 1000 it is a miracle. So today, I was in a tizzy. I did get my two eggs and 1/2 cup of cereal and milk in for breakfast and that was great, but for lunch I grabbed a can of soup I had, Harvest something or other, and the whole can was 50 calories worth. I didn't realize that until after I had it and needed to write the calories down. Wow, really 50 calories. My snack after lunch was my usual tuna with brown mustard and dill relish. And my before class snack was another Bumble Bee tuna snack pack. All told before class I had a total of 580 calories. That is around 300 less than usual. But I wasn't hungry at all. I am starting to wonder if I shouldn't reign in my calories to 1500 now, just to get it over with. Oh and for dinner, Kathy made a chicken salad with mustard, very little Miracle Whip, like 2 tablespoons she said, and onions and celery in a pita cut in half and stuffed with the mixture with lettuce on the bottom. I finished off the day with a frozen yogurt cup from Dannon. I am at this very moment at 1200 calories! And again, still not starving!! I like that I got so much protein today too cause I did a heck of a workout today and needed to rebuild muscles from that and yesterday's walking! I think I am gonna lead off the day with cardio tomorrow though. I didn't get any today and I am not looking good for time. I like to sleep so that will come first.

Well on to the title. As I am sure you have guessed, I got stuck in one of those high school student chairs today with the built in desktop that only allows for skinny folks! All through college, I have never liked being in the class rooms that have those. I always feel like I am causing internal injuries squeezing in there. I did not even think about the fact I had trimmed down when I walked in that class room and saw that, so I steeled myself for the upcoming pain, when voila! I slid in with no problem!! Holy crap it was so cool! And I have a new goal. I want to double the space between me and my desktop by the end of this class! It would be a great achievement!! Which reminds me, I was so down on me for my eating yesterday, I forgot to mention that at Silver Dollar City, I rode my favorite roller coaster three times Sunday!! I was so happy, and the best part, Lauren and I were riding together!! She is addicted just like me! I even bought the photo of us on the last ride. I will try to figure out how to get it on here soon.

Ok, I am gonna open up about a problem, or I guess more like an issue I have had the last 5 or so days. I have really been up on myself and my appearance here lately and I just feel so studly and proud of me all the time. Suddenly around Thursdayish, I started feeling like I was a fat turd again. I knew I wasn't but I just didn't have that great attitude and swagger about me. I had all my indicators that showed I was still thinner than the beginning, but in my consciousness, I just knew I was fat. It is winding down, and I worked all through it with new habits I have gained not being lost, but I wonder, did any of you really successful people I follow ever have those periods? In the past, when I got that feeling, it was all over but the crying baby. I would head out to fill that void with food, food and food. I hate that I was there, but it did give me a new dose of confidence in myself and the change of lifestyle I have chosen. I just don't want to have to deal with that a lot. I suspect a loss on the scale this Friday would likely bring with it a whole new burst of enthusiasm.

I have homework, so I better wrap it up. I sure did enjoy the posts of the folks I am following today. Kenzonce again made me look like a lazy turd, but I am glad to see it!! Allan made a very nice offer to help me with my diet. I know some find him abrasive, but I have never had one problem with him and will continue to associate with him even if he is a self proclaimed "leper" haha. All of you crazy bloggers add something to my journey and I am eternally grateful for it. I only hope that I can do the same for you!

5 comments:

  1. Aw Shane..thank you for mentioning me today. It feels good to know that you're proud of me, but I'm pretty sure it makes me crazy...it doesn't make you lazy! I don't do that much everyday...I just had to try it. Tomorrow I'll be back to 30 minutes on the elliptical and maybe half a mile in the pool? We'll see how much time I have...

    You are doing so well, and we have good days and bad. I've lost about 110 pounds (not precisely sure since i'm away,) but I still have a long road ahead. Some days I walk around feeling skinny. LOL And some days I think "eh, I'm still so heavy I can't wear a suit well." It happens, but life happens either way so remind yourself and keep going. I'll do the same. :)

    Congrats on the roller coaster! That is amazing!

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  2. First of all Shane, I think you're referring to Select Harvest (or Healthy Harvest) soups. (That's what I eat for lunch every day!) Those have 50 calories PER SERVING in the can. There are 2 servings in each can. So you ate at least 100 calories if not more with that soup. Even still, 100 calories is a great calorie value with those soups, which is why they are some of my favorites! I just want to make sure that you're reading the labels correctly....? Most of those soups have 90 calories per serving x 2 servings = 180 calories.

    As for my calories...I need less than you, silly! I weigh much less, and I'm way shorter, AND I'm a woman, too! All those things mean that I naturally should consume less calories than you. That being said, I bet before I had my lapband surgery that I could have out-eaten you in a pizza eating contest. LOL!

    There are MANY days when I feel big and fat and ugly! I think that's completely normal. You SHOULD be able to pull through it in a few days, especially if you keep eating well and exercising. Perhaps it's a mental thing. Perhaps you're retaining water and are just bloated or something, and that's what you're picking up on. At any rate, soon you'll have more NSVs and you'll be feeling like a stud again really soon! You know all of us blogger ladies just love us some Shane! :-)

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  3. P.S. In case it's a salt-bloating thing...drink extra lots of water today. Chug-a-lug! Water helps to flush any salt and toxins out of your system. See if that helps.

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  4. Shane you are doing so well. I know how you feel about the on and off days about how you feel with your weight. I guess that should help us understand why even thin people have days like this. It's all about the inside, not the outside. On those days, I try to focus on what I do like about me, my body and my life. Sometimes I have to just be content with keeping up the good fight.

    ROCK ON about the desk! I know what you mean. WE went to a meeting at school for my kid last year and it was in a class room w/ those desks. I'd forgotten how tight they can be. Of course they were middle school desks which didn't help. So good for you that you don't have to worry about that. One more thing to chalk up as a victory!

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