I had a mission when I woke up today. I was determined that today would be the day I got under 45 minutes on my 5k. I started off jogging lap 2 around the block and got all it in a fairly easy manner, and I jogged lap 4 as well, though not quite as easily. On lap 6, I determined I was at a pace that I could make the 45 minutes by only jogging the last straight to my house, and that was my plan. Well when I got to the hill on the other side of my block, I could tell I was about to crash and burn, possibly pass out, and nobody was up yet to see me do it, so I got an anxiety attack and cut across yards to get back to my house. I did not finish the 5k but got a half a lap from it. I will finish it in 45 minutes next weekend though! So I chalked that up to a victory in that I was able to push myself to that wall.
But the next crash and burn is not quite as happy an ending. Without going into too much detail, yesterday was a rough day family wise. It just seemed like for the second weekend in a row, things were just going wrong with family life and it seemed like some of stemmed from me being on this journey and having such a commitment to it. It finally got to be too much for me to deal with, so I ordered a six meat pizza from Simple Simons down the road and ate all but 2 slices of it, then I had some skittles and finished off my mini candy bars. I could not even begin to give you a calorie count for yesterday. It was only at like 900 up to 6 o clock but I wouldn't doubt it was more in the 3000 range or higher by the end of the day. Can't fix that now. But what I can do is pick myself up, dust myself off, and get moving forward again with a new conviction. I will not fall off the wagon, I will not go backwards from here. I will be the Shane of days 1 through 71. Not day 72 Shane. Ooo rah.
Shane,
ReplyDeleteI can relate. Not sure what is happenign with you but I can speak for me and hope it helps. So much of "living" surrounded food in my relationships. Activities and what would be a "treat" or something to look forward too-also in my main relationship.
Making changes channges the relationship made insecurity- if the focus changed in my life the other person or people want the best for me but the "comfort" of the predictable me was not there for them they had new behaviours. Not always easy to deal with as they sometimes did not tend to be open that they were feeling perhaps vulnerable.
Anyway, all of this is part of it and communication even in a note to my husband helped me out along the way and still does. This too shall pass. Stay focused. Pray a bit more and stay true to u and to God.
Bridget
Shane, you are honest, and I admire you. It sounds cold, but NOTHING is as important as your health. Not even the feelings of your family members. You are committed and you will make it!
ReplyDeleteSweetie it's so hard when the fam isn't on board. You're leading by example, but perhaps it's not a path they want to go down. Oh, they know they should, you know they should, but they're not as motivated as you. They might even be a bit jealous. You have to keep doing what's right for you. It's so very difficult when the roads are different. You're not going to do them any good dead.
ReplyDeleteBreathe. We're here to support you.
I appreciate your honesty. I'm sorry that your family isn't on board but know that you are making a great choice to walk this walk. Keep doing what you are doing and I hope that they will join you.
ReplyDeleteIt was one "bad" day and everyone has them! Today is a new day! We're all here to support you!!
Shane, stay strong. I hope this can be worked out with communication and your family working with you, even if they don't want to join you in the journey.
ReplyDeleteYou have done great so far, and you will continue. Remember Phil. 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Cheryl
Shane, you know what to do and will do it, I'm sure. It's impossible for everyone in the family to be on the same page all the time. Life gets in the way. Give and take, man. Granted, you are very committed, but every moment of every day cannot be all about Shane's health journey.
ReplyDeleteDon't push yourself to an injury on your 5K. I am no threat to you this week, as my 5K today did not work out as planned, either. I did get my 3 miles, but I had someone join me on my walk, so there was no running for me. But that's okay.
Thanks for your honesty. Certainly you didn't have to mention the situation that led to the pizza. But learn from it, as I know you have.
All the best,
Jo
Shane, don't let a bad day get you down. We all have them. We just have to pick the pieces back up, and start over again the next day. You can do this!
ReplyDeleteHmm. Pretty messed up that you got your eat on like that. You must have had serious stress! Was this a private binge? When I feel like I want to binge, I find something to do to occupy my mind. I have called a friend to call and catch up, went for a walk, went to the movies, and also given my dog a bath. That grosses me out and I no longer want to eat. :)
ReplyDeleteShane, you're doing great and put this behind you. Be patient with your family. Seeing you be so successful and changing so much is scary for them sometimes. Give them time and don't let it get to you. Do better next time. I know you'll be fine.
ReplyDelete