So I got some really great comments on my post from this morning. I think Sean may have struck a chord with his though. I will say this. I knew in my head I was making this past weekends eating behavior waaaay worse than it was in reality. I did great 90% of the time, and my transgressions were really honestly insignificant. I can honestly say that apart from Thanksgiving day, I never once busted 2000 calories a day any of the weekend days, but since my goal is 1500 a day, I was "failing". By all accounts, I think we would all safely say that 2000 calories a day is not evidence of a binge eater! So why was I so down on myself over that? Sean nailed it for me. It was a glimpse into the past, a look at the old Shane that made me uncomfortable. Without any hard evidence to back it up, I would guess that the old Shane would have easily broken 3500 calories each and every one of the days I was getting 2000, and the old Shane would have never walked 5 miles a day on all those days off, 6.5 miles on accident on one of the days! So I think I will take the harsh feelings about my "failure", and put them away. Having a good day today helped me out a lot. No wagons were fallen off of, no melt down ensued after my "failure". In fact, I had an exceptional day of exercise and eating. I showed myself that I am not the old Shane, I am this Shane. This is the norm, not this past weekends behavior. Although I still need to do some tweeking on this Shane, he is a damn sight better than the guy that walked into this blog a little over 4 months ago, and he is getting better every day!
I really would like to thank all of you who left comments this morning for keeping me centered and being supportive. It means a lot to me that you care enough to help me see the big picture and not wallow in my failure. Thanks so much for being there for me!
I agree Shane. That's what I feel when I "slip". I fear the old me. I fear losing control. Falling into the abyss that was me before. But, we have to remember that the very fact we recognize and see the danger of not being vigilant is evidence in itself of the changes we've made. It's OK to be hard on ourselves. I HAVE let myself down. I have not made the best choices for myself. I have done things that put my very life in danger. What I have to remember is that is PAST.
ReplyDeleteWanting to be perfect is not realistic. But, wanting to do our BEST is possible and we should strive for that everyday. If you set a goal of 1500 calories, then you can be upset with yourself when you don't achieve that goal. As long as that doesn't sabotage yourself. As long as you see that, make a realistic analysis and move on.
What I used to do is wallow and give up at every challenge. We don't do that anymore, do we? That my friend is evidence of success. You are succeeding. And that is a fact.
I have to agree...I know for me,it is that I glimpses of the "old" me when I don't follow my plan, workout or whatever and honestly, that scares the crap out of me. Something clicked for me as I read your post yesterday and now todays about what what Sean said....I believe that is why I have been getting so worked up about the scale not moving. In the past, THIS is EXACTLY when I would throw my hands up and say it's not working and I'm done.
ReplyDeleteLet's all this my "ah-ha" moment for that day! :-)
You, my friend, are doing great and one day doesn't mean failure!! You're doing your best! Keep it up!
I really can't say it any better than Sean said it. I think your ability to nail down what was wrong with your scenario was the most important thing you could have done. But like you said, it's really quite an insignificant transgression when you look at the big picture. I think you did the perfectt hing: figure out why you did it, but then put the moment behind you and don't dwell on it and let you down. You're doing fantastically, Shane, and I'm so proud of you!
ReplyDeleteWe are all learning together in this, Shane. This was the first major food fest we have endured since we started blogging. We were anxious about it in many ways. We made it through. The important thing is we had a plan and we didn't deviate very far from it. Perhaps a few bites here and there, but not far from plan. I think we aced it, buddy. But we can't let our guard down. There's another month of food fests out there. A minefield. We can do it!
ReplyDeleteThe attitude and emotions that you're feeling right now are your very best defense against going back to a place that you don't want to revisit. I totally know where you're coming from. None of us want to go back to that place. Being a little anxious is not a bad thing...and I know it will continue to get easier over time. We're gonna do this, friend!!
ReplyDeleteOh yeah! Don't forget that the 5k, 10, half marathon, whatever....is THIS SUNDAY!!!
ReplyDeleteThis post resonates with many of us. No matter how well I am doing, I know that I am capable of sliding back. That is of course what happened in the past with my health. I am different now and don't believe it will happen, but, it is always there.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you are now putting this in the past. You are a WEIGH (Way) different human being now that you have so seriously undertaken this journey. You did fantastic over Thanksgiving. I bet you will still log a loss, too.
My last comment is about how important I think it is that we ruminate over these things. The more we seek to understand ourselves in terms of our health journey, the more likely we are to make it stick. So, keep it up, Shane. You do truly inspire many of us, including me!
Great post Shane.
ReplyDeleteJennifer
http://wecanlosethepounds.blogspot.com/
My husband always tell me to look at the big picture when I get down at little "failures" as I see them. I have found most people who deal with obesity are perfectionists, and we don't like when we falter from the perfect plan. But, we aren't perfect, and life happens. You are doing so great and what the heck?????????? I have the world's biggest, ugliest nose? You cracked me up with that comment. :)
ReplyDelete