Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Day 89 I Carried It Well? C'mon!!

Greetings and salutations my good blogging friends. I am in an infinitely better spot today than I was for last night's post. I was downright grumpy last night. I got a little ahead in the game today and I have to say, it is nice. My class got canceled, so the test I was going to stay up late drinking coffee to take got taken while at school for the class that got canceled. So I came home to find that Kathy had made a healthier version of Sheppard's pie because she loves me so much!! It was yummy, but even the healthy version is a calorie trap. I got myself a small bowl out and got enough to fill it about 3/4 full and that was my allotment of Sheppard's pie. I have to admit, I still want bigger portions of stuff, like tonight, I did want more than I got, but I think the important thing is that I keep on wanting but not getting. I assume that eventually, the common sense side of me will take over, and what is left over of PJS will just eventually give up the wanting more and stroll away. I love that it is not an internal struggle with a pre-determined outcome any longer, I know that. I couldn't count the amount of times I would try to talk myself out of this or that food, knowing full well I lost the battle before I ever started fighting. It is nice to be winning these days.

So I have to wonder, something. How may of you were ever told or told yourselves this outrageous falsity during our heaviest days: "you carry it really well". I was both told that, and told myself that on many occasions. So, I am going through some hard copy pictures that Kathy had printed off of our vacation in June of this year, and ummm I found this:


Carrying that well aren't I? So while I was back at Kathy's computer stealing this from her, I came across another picture that shows me "carrying it well" here:





I think I may have put this one on  here before, but still, check that out. So tell me that wasn't some hellacious rationalization going on! One of my co-workers heard one of my stories today and when I was done telling her the whole thing and explaining my motivation, she said Shane, you are in the right business with logic like yours! I laughed pretty hard.


Well those are the bleeecch pics that show how we can lie to ourselves and be lied to by our friends and family. I honestly thought "yeah I am fat, but I carry it well" on a regular basis. So this is a picture of me at 255, which was  few pounds ago but it is the most recent I have:



and a side angle too:



Am I a work on progress? Yes I am , but I am a great deal down the road from where I started on July 17, 2010 and I have a lot of people to thank for it, yourselves included. Thanks so much bloggy friends for giving me a forum to be me, to explore being me, to get support and advice and all the things that are so important when you are trying to lose weight. Thanks to my family and friends also. I have a great support system and I appreciate it so much. but please, don't lie to me anymore!!  haha.

Good night friends!!






14 comments:

  1. You look amazing and I am soooooo happy for you!!

    I like the idea of a "work in progress." That's what we are. But I sense that you believe the same thing that I do...that we're actually going to do this. That we won't be among the statistical casualties of people who quit, or gain the weight back.

    Thanks for being here for all of us...you're an inspiration!

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  2. Holy difference in the pictures! That's so awesome!

    I never understood "you carry it well!" I can think of one time that I have heard that....when I was wedding dress shopping! Whatever! :-)

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  3. The weight loss difference isn't just in your belly. Look at the difference in you neck and chest side shots. You're doin' real good.

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  4. What a wonderful difference!! You are doing great!

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  5. Pictures are fantastic and isn't it great when there's such a difference! Great job Shane, keep it up buddy!

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  6. There is such great progress in those pictures, Shane. What an inspiration you are!

    Cheryl

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  7. Oh my- such a difference. I carry a lot of weight in my belly too(not well though heehee). I'm hoping for some good photos this Christmas when 2 of my kids will be visiting. Keep up the good work!

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  8. Oh the times I have heard this statement! And I believed it! Anyone that has seen my pictures knows it wasn't true.

    You're doing great Shane!

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  9. I'm SICK of carrying it AT ALL!!! We're on our way kid. Keep up the great work

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  10. First of all, you need to post pics of you without big baggy clothes on. You work at a law firm; don't you have to wear a button down shirt, tucked in? How does THAT compare to your before pics? I bet you look great!

    Secondly, oh man! Shane, I think you must have been reading my mind. I was just talking to my mom on the phone yesterday. I had sent her a few before/after photos, and I was ranting about all the people that said, "I didn't think you needed to lose weight at all; you carry your weight well." Are you freaking kidding me? It makes me so angry to hear that. It makes me think that these people that say things like that don't care about my well-being at all. I look at photos, and no. I was fat. And carrying it well or not, I was fat. Clearly. Didn't they care enough to say, "How can I help?"

    For what it's worth, my mom's theory is that the people that say "you carry it well" are people that like you better fat, that feel better about themselves because there's at least one person out there (YOU. Er, well, me) that's fatter than THEM, so that empowers them. And they want you to STAY fat. I don't know if I entirely buy it, but that was my mom's response.

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  11. I think you are meant to be a bodybuilder. Trust me I know these things. I want to see you all greased up with a spray tan wearing a thong and... wait what was I talking about again?
    Anyway, keep up the good work!
    :)

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  12. I still want bigger portions, too, especially of the yummy stuff. But I found a way to kind of combat that. I eat the yummy stuff first, then a salad, and by the time I finish the salad, I have forgotten how yummy the other stuff was and am just done with eating.

    Polar's Mom
    www.polarspage.blogspot.com

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  13. Wow! Where did your belly go?? I'll bet you left it at WalMart. ;-)

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  14. You will continue to look back at pictures like this and not believe that was you and that is what happened to you. So, don;t discard them. They will be historical artifacts and actually they are right now. Shane, you are looking good. Wow! Good, man.

    Na, I don't think any one every told me "I carry it well." Plus, if they did, I would have wanted to run away. But now anymore. Love the new me.
    Stay strong, Shane. I am counting on you!

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