Hey guys. As the title suggests, I have learned one more trigger I have to learn how to combat, although I rarely ever deal with it. Kathy and Lauren are gone tonight, at at a lock in for the Girl Scouts for the night. I know I often think of how nice it would be if I had a night all alone for me to just chill and watch tube. It is not as great as it sounds. So, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up in the middle of my movie. For some reason, even though I was at 1400 calories for the night, I decided I needed to have a bowl of cereal. I had one. Not a big one, but then I sat there thinking why did I do that? I analyzed for a minute and came to grips with the fact that just like when I was single and eating everything in sight, the loneliness set me off. It was not a huge transgression, I know that, but still it is something that needs to be acknowledged and cut off at the knees. I think that is the most valuable aspect of blogging and sharing your journey with people who get this journey and have dealt with all the things I have dealt with and do deal with on a daily basis. Before this, I would have easily just stuffed this transgression down, acted like it didn't happen, then have another slip and another and another and then would begin the spiral until I was just back to me. I think you gain power by acknowledging and actively fighting those issues that have kept you from losing weight and getting healthier. By stuffing those issues down, you are feeding them by fearing them. ONce you are in control, once the problem is brought to the forefront to be put on trial, it is found guilty and sentenced to life or execution. So I now know that if my family is going to leave me alone, I have to be on guard, I have to put up that curtain. But in the same sense as all this, the rest of my day was fine, I did not overindulge at any other time, so bowl of cereal is not going to defeat me. I just needed to recognize publicly and loudly the issue of eating out of loneliness.
Ok, on to my Hot 100 Update. Still cruising right along. I will weigh on this coming Friday and I feel as though I will probably have met my get to 240 goal and at that time will change it to 230. I have not made any progress on getting my 5k time down as my ankles have been giving me trouble, so I am going to edit that one to read I am going to try to get 18 miles a week walked or more if possible, but given my schedule, that is a realistic number. I have not had any white bread as planned and my veggie and fruit eating have been steadily improved as hoped for. I am getting at least 5 servings a day! I have not gone to check on Hot 100 progress reports today, but I hope to see some good one folks!!
Hey Shane...being alone is one of the most difficult challenges I've faced in this journey. Bill doesn't get home from work until around 10:00 each evening. So from 5:30 to 10:00 was always the time I would spend eating...maybe out of loneliness. Never thought about it that way before but maybe that's it. That or boredom. Or just because I could.
ReplyDeleteI don't struggle with that so much anymore, mostly because of the awareness, I think. And you're right...this blogging helps immensely!
Hope you have a super-duper weekend!
It's so easy to snatch a bit of this or that when we're on our own. Your right we have to stop and realize what is happening and why!
ReplyDeleteI live alone and can't use it as an excuse. My DH died 15 years ago and my last child left for college 5 years ag and was just home for visits. Now she has totally moved 1000 miles away so just me and the doggie. Of course, I have a big advantage in the fact I control my environment. What really helps me is going to bed early. I have never eaten in my bedroom (and especially not when sleeping!)
ReplyDeleteHey Shane, that's a powerful moment when you connect the eating with the behaviour. I do that too, eat when I am bored and alone (well not anymore). Thanks for sharing...
ReplyDeleteI like how you assessed the cereal. Even though it wasn't breaking you, you are so correct when you realized you didn't need it. You went for the knee jerk reaction. Good on you for taking the time to analyze where you were at!
ReplyDeleteHave a great weekend!
When Im alone, I get my eat on something serious! You are never lonely if the homies Snap, Crackle, and Pop are there! ;)
ReplyDeleteCereal is an issue for many people. I know that Sean Anderson has written about his cereal issues before. It's so weird how a bowl of dry cereal with milk can somehow comfort... loneliness, boredom or whatever. You've thought it through, spoken it and learned...you're stronger today! Frosted Flakes are my issue!
ReplyDeleteRecognizing a trigger is truly EMPOWERING, Shane!
ReplyDeleteFor me, the times when I am on my own create a sense of celebration - there are times I really crave being on my own - and the moment it happens, I feel I can let go of all the rules and regulations and boundaries, and 'break out' a little. It took me a long while to realize what happened, and to celebrate my Me Time in non-food ways. But I still have to keep a sharp eye on it.
I want to take issue with something you wrote though (and I mean it gently and encouragingly):
'...and then would begin the spiral until I was just back to me.'
You might spiral back to the OLD me, but you are no longer the person you used to be. Your brain might still get triggered to follow the old, outdated patterns. But that doesn't change the fact that you are headed towards the NEW me, the Shane you REALLY are. This journey, after all, is about shedding the layers you've packed around the Real You, about becoming the pure and shining Shane you truly are! This Real You is the reality, and you've already come far enough to prove it!
Good luck for the next week!
Learning these weaknesses is all part of the journey. Just consider this another hurdle you have learned how to cross.
ReplyDeleteMy weakness is after my husband goes to bed at night and I'm up alone...at least it was my weakness. I learned how to get a handle on it...and I try to always have a bottle of water nearby after 10pm...when I get a craving of one kind or another...I reach for it and drink till I feel full. It helps me.
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