I wouldn't say I have been struggling like backsliding lately, but I just haven't been where I wanted to be, and my motivation was a little off. I have tried to figure out why and I have tried to power through it. I still work out 4-6 days a week, I am active, but my eating has been not like old days, but it has been less than stellar let's just say. I have tried pep talks and I have blogged openly and honestly about my struggles, and I really have gotten motivation out of both, but yesterday, God gave me what I needed to get my butt back on the wagon. It was a seemingly random experience, until I thought about it.
Kathy and I have a friend, she lives in Kathy's old hometown in Texas, and she had made a comment on Facebook, I had gotten involved in the comment thread and while on it one time, I saw on the left she had a photo album named family, so just to goof off a bit, I clicked on it, was scrolling through the pictures, and then I saw "it". I have a whole bunch of pictures of me being fat. Most I am not proud of. But this picture in her album of me, well it seemed to speak to me. It shocked me. I honestly and truly couldn't believe a) that it was me and b) how it perfectly characterized me at that weight. Here it is:
I mean I had a wow moment. This picture put me on the floor. That facial expression just does it for me. I seriously felt how I look in that picture. I was always tired, felt a little off all the time, and felt like I was the least attractive person ever. This picture, even more so than my Silver Dollar City picture, has left me with a feeling of "seriously? you let yourself get there?" mind set and it also has me feeling very grateful to my God for leading me to the right set of circumstances to lead me away from there too. So though this week has been good, I plan on making it even better, and following up with even better weeks to come. I can not, will not let myself get back there over a little stress and a return to old eating habits. I refer you to the name of my blog. It is for that reason, for my family's future well being, that that picture can never ever leave my mind.