Day 9 Some Adjustments Are Made

Howdy folks! It is day 9 and I am feeling really good about today. I redistributed some calories today, and I actually got a lot closer to the bank total today. Don't freak though. I have been doing not only my lunch walking, but I have gotten up and gotten my weight workout the last two mornings also. Which leads me to an idea. I know that Sean doesn't follow my blog, so I am wondering if Kenz could pass this along for me. I have started doing push ups and let me tell you, if your out of shape, it shows up when you are trying to do push ups. It is not just your arms and chest, it is your back, shoulders, legs, abs. It really takes a lot of muscle to keep yourself in the push up position!! Let alone do push ups. So I am issuing this challenge to Sean, who has expressed his disdain with his workout habits. I challenge him to a contest. Starting three months from the day he accepts the challenge, we work on upping our push up totals until on that day, we have the contest of who does the most!! Kenz, if you read this post will you pass that on to Sean? See what he thinks.

So today was the typical breakfast, I scrambled two eggs whipped with 1/4 cup milk, onions and 1/3 tbsp of cheese, topped it with salsa for a yummy and filling breakfast at only 320 calories. Lunch was a sandwich again, but I left out the Miracle Whip and went with just enough mustard to know it was there, and kept the cheese slice for 210 calories, but today I added chips and salsa to lunch and it was heaven to not be hungry after lunch! Lunch rang in at 340 calories and also was yummy and filling. I did the standard granola bar for 150 and also hit the pickles again for 15 calories. After work, Kathy asked me to hit Wal Mart and get her some Special K and her kind of bread, so while there I stole one of my blog friends idea and bought some tuna fish and brown mustard for snacks in the afternoon. It made sense to me cause I am working out weights and cardio each day and need to try to get some protein in me for what is hopefully some muscle building!! I also have been thinking some fruit besides a banana would be nice, so I bought a couple of nectarines too. I had one on the way home for 75 calories, not realizing that Kathy had supper ready already.

Speaking of, supper was super!! Kathy made a broccoli, brown rice, and chicken/cheese casserole. I made a bowl of it and started guessing at the measurements of stuff I had in my bowl, being careful to overestimate as usual. So it came out to 540 calories and was yummy so I had another half bowl of it. It was an expensive 810 calories, but it was yummy! I then went out and mowed the lawn for about 40 minutes (another activity) and came back in and washed my dog. I realized it was pretty late and I wanted to try out the brown mustard and tuna thing, so I made it for my snack tonight and it was great. However, I also had my normal snack of yogurt too, so my calorie total got reeeeeal close today. 1915!! Sheww close call baby! But just under the wire.

I would worry more about that if it weren't for the fact I am being MUCH more active than usual and the walking has stuck, and I am gonna make the weight work outs stick also. I spoke about this in a comment to Lyn's blog today. I want to draw attention to the words I used. "I am gonna make the weight work outs stick". I didn't say "I hope the weight work outs stick". I bring that up because I was chatting with a friend today and this blog was the subject. I told them that I "hoped that this will be the successful breakthrough I have been needing". I hope. See hope is a great thing generally. But I have an illness, and "I hope it works" is not an option. I have said that many times before and here is what I hope means to a person who has an eating illness and has failed the fight to lose weight multiple times before. I just left the door open to fail again. It may be the back door, but it is open. You cannot "hope" when you're morbidly obese, diabetic and almost 40 with a family counting on you to lead them to a good life. Hope is the enemy in this case. "I will" is the key here. "I will make this blog the success story I have been needing". I will use it to keep up my accountability, I will use it to put myself and my self destructive behaviors to the forefront, explore and define and conquer them. I will make new habits, healthy habits, realistically maintainable habits. Not some miracle diet that will get the weight off, but a way of eating that makes me able to eat the food I love (and I do love food) and continue to eat them after I reach my healthy weight. I will get to my healthy weight. I will do it with the help of getting more active, less lethargic. I will eat the foods I want, just in responsible portions. I will make my family be more at ease, seeing my health improve, seeing me improve personally, professionally and emotionally. I don't hope to do these things. I will do them.

I also wanted to say I know alot of my friends and some family are following this blog and have told me they like it, some have even said I am a good writer. Thank you so much. I appreciate that. And to my followers on blogspot, thank you too for the comments and for your blogs as well. I have gotten alot of ideas and inspiration from them and I really feel like a part of a community. I need to wrap this up, so I am going to say, thanks again for inspiring me and I will try to do the same for you.