Day 4 with results from Day 3

Here are day 3's numbers:

two eggs over medium 140 calories
banana 100 calories
Healthy Choice entree 310 calories
granola bar 150 calories
2 chicken potpies 740 calories
yogurt 80 calories

1520 calories total

inches around my belly, not good. I measured it at 55 inches at the peak. wow. I wear a 40 waist in pants, but my belly goes out an extra 15 inches past that. Gonna change that!!

Now on to my struggle firsth thing on day 4. I knew it was coming, I just didn't know when it would show up. The day I would convince myself I NEED to stop for (insert food here) because I am seriously hungry and will just be screwing my metabolism into slowing down if I starve myself. This is one of those "Shane rationalizations" I talked about over the past few days. So while examining the incident, I believe I have discovered something, or more correctly, acknowledged something about me. I can convince myself I am hungry. I apparently like food so much I can do that. So luckily, my friend Jason called me on the way to work like he does every morning and we had a chat. I likely would not have stopped for the breakfast biscuit I had convince myself I needed, but that was some extra insurance. I am glad I have talked about this fact, it makes me feel empowered to admit I do that and that I shouldn't. It is likely I will fight this battle over and over again over this journey, but I am ready for it!

I also had a thought last night that makes sense. In the past, I have been all about lets get this weight off now, and have had some limited success at it and one big success in 2000-2001. So going back and looking at why those successes were turned to failures, I think I have figured it out. In 2000-2001, I never changed my eating habits, I just worked out like a horse! I spent 2 hours in the gym 6 days a week doing 45 minutes of cardio, then moving on to weight training. Unfortunatlely, it came out that I have a genetic defect in my ankles and I made the inevitable deformation speed up by running for 45 minutes a day on a treadmill. I really did love the running. The "runner's high" is not bunk, you really do get a rush. I lived for that rush, and getting it taken away hurt real bad. So that on top of a career change and schedule change led me to fall off the wagon on that occasion. As for the other successes, I believe the failure was that I lost weight extremely fast, in fact it was so fast, I was not far enough removed from my old eating habits to have left them behind and replace them with new habits. For example, in i believe 2003 or 2004, I went on a diet of having two microwaved hot dogs for breakfast and dinner and nothing in between. Did the weight fall off? Yup, 52 pounds in 4 months, but could I maintain that for the rest of my life? Nope. So in the beginning, I did try to eat right and sensibly, but like I said, I was not far enough removed from old habits to make the new weight stick. So my goal during this joureny is to go slow, work out, count calories, and develop the habit of portion control. My habit now is " that is good food and I will eat it till it's gone!". I want to develop a habit of " that is good food, I will have a little". I want that to be ingrained in me. New habits take awhile to push out old habits, so I am not gonna rush it.