Quite frankly, I have been less that motivated for probably two months now. I keep trying to find my mojo, but it just hasn't been there. It hasn't helped that my weight was not changing significantly due to my not so great eating habits. But that scale number yesterday lit a fire! I told Kathy that "Crazy Shane" is back yesterday and she gave me the oh no look! haha. I blogged the other day about flipping that damn switch, well the not so wonderful weigh in was apparently just what I needed. Switch is flipped, determination is high, Crazy Shane is back on duty.
I am shocked at one thing. Before this particular journey, if I had seen me gain back 13 pounds, I would have called that the best reason ever to just give up and go back to enjoying food as I please. My rationalization skills are strong, they are. But this time, not so much. I seriously felt something click inside me and with the skills and habits I have gained over the last 9 months, it was not hard to figure out what I needed to do. It is not starting from square 1, it is starting from square 101. And I have learned a lesson. No matter how much I am working out, no matter how active I am being, my food intake has to be in question at all times, my body does not allow for activity apparently. It is all about the food intake.
Am I proud that I am where I am today? Nope. Am I defeated that I am where I am today? Nope. I am where I am but I am not where I am staying, and the direction I was headed is not my path. The path lies ahead of me. I will take this lesson and I will learn from it. Much like I learned from my lessons on this journey early on. This was not just a set back, it was a learning experience and a move forward with knowledge for the future. Now I know.