Losing It For The Family

Losing It For The Family

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

It Isn't About A Fight, It Is About Control

I had an experience yesterday that made me open my eyes a little wider to something I knew but this was a clarifying experience. In the beginning of my journey, I was always in battle mode, I was going in for a fight and to show food it wasn't going to win!! I mean full on blaring music, setting my jaw during workouts and getting by on adrenaline alone, tense muscles and set resolve at the dinner table kind of battling. Seriously. So yesterday was one hell of a day schedule wise. I had work all day and school all night and I had no time in between. So it became evident that my stomach was not going to wait until 8:30 to be fed since I was starving after my walk at 1:30. I knew food was going to have to be bought, either gas station food or fast food. In the past, that would have set me into battle mode. yesterday, I pulled up to Wendy's drive thru speaker box, said 5 spicy chicken nuggets please, pulled up and paid and got my nuggets, and was gone. Never once an adrenaline rush, never once a set jaw, just calm, peaceful and easy going the whole time. Why? It wasn't a battle this time, it was me being in control. I didn't get the double burger with fries and a soda and a frosty for desert. That is not an option anymore. I got 225 calories worth of nuggets, and that was plenty for me. I can pull up to a speaker box and not blow my new lifestyle, because I am in control. I can come home at 8:30 at night, hungry as heck, and only eat some yogurt and a peanut butter celery stick, because I am in control. I can get up in the mornings and get myself on the treadmill for a workout, cause I am in control. None of these things are hard any more, they don't deserve my battle mind frame, they just are what they are and I have them UNDER CONTROL! it took me awhile to get there, but quite honestly, it is a journey worth taking folks!! I highly recommend it!



6 comments:

  1. Wow ..I'd love to be that relaxed about food...but thats why you're at 96lb lost! You have won the battle. I feel I'm still in the battle because it is early days but like you I would love not to battle food in the future but make easier sensible decisions.
    You're doing brilliantly
    Dawn

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  2. I don't feel like I am fighting anymore either. I am not perfect, and I will always have to be vigilant, but you can't go on forever in that hyper defensive mode.

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  3. That is a wonderful place to be!

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  4. Nothing feels better than being in control, eh? (That's Canadian talk!:)

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  5. What birchgirl said...vigilant. That's me.

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