Losing It For The Family

Losing It For The Family

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Once an addict, always and addict

the AA folks have always said it, and now I know it to be true. You can never think ou have an addiction beat. Ever. Once you are an addict, you are always and addict. I am not an alcoholic, but I am a foodaholic. Food is my answer to everything. I have an monkey on my back for life obviously. I really thought I could let down my guard a little after i got sub 200. At first I didn't do anything outlandish, I just didn't eat lose weight portions, I ate normal portions. I didn't avoid snacks like the plague, but had them every other day or so. I should have gotten wise when even though I wasn't eating excessively, I was putting on a pound here and there, I was not fitting the same in my new shirts, etc. But I didn't. Why? probably because I was so happy to have my old friend back. Bad days, stressed out, good days, happy as can be= hey it is a small snack, it won't do any harm. I also have a tendency to get lazy after doing so well exercise wise. Would that be an addiction to sedentary lifestyle? I dunno. I honestly don't know that i am lazy per se, I think I lose my energy when I gain weight. I drove everyone crazy when I was thinner, I was always wanting to do something physical. I was just so energetic!!! That may be the thing I miss most. i was always hyper. I liked it! so knowing all this, I know my mission. I have to accept the monkey is there and I will for my whole life have to be vigilant against his attacks.

2 comments:

  1. I know for a fact that there are several foods I have to stay away from. They are my triggers and I cannot eat them at all. Not even a little.
    As you say it happens slowly. You don't even really notice it and by the time we do we're in deep.
    Well you know what you need to do and now you're going to do it! Welcome back.

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  2. There was a time when I foolishly believed "nothing was off limits," the last six months have taught me a deeper truth of my food addiction. There's a limit and strict boundaries with certain foods I shall not dare cross.
    I'm so glad you're back, Shane. It feels good, doesn't it?

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