Thursday, November 15, 2012
Once an addict, always and addict
the AA folks have always said it, and now I know it to be true. You can never think ou have an addiction beat. Ever. Once you are an addict, you are always and addict. I am not an alcoholic, but I am a foodaholic. Food is my answer to everything. I have an monkey on my back for life obviously. I really thought I could let down my guard a little after i got sub 200. At first I didn't do anything outlandish, I just didn't eat lose weight portions, I ate normal portions. I didn't avoid snacks like the plague, but had them every other day or so. I should have gotten wise when even though I wasn't eating excessively, I was putting on a pound here and there, I was not fitting the same in my new shirts, etc. But I didn't. Why? probably because I was so happy to have my old friend back. Bad days, stressed out, good days, happy as can be= hey it is a small snack, it won't do any harm. I also have a tendency to get lazy after doing so well exercise wise. Would that be an addiction to sedentary lifestyle? I dunno. I honestly don't know that i am lazy per se, I think I lose my energy when I gain weight. I drove everyone crazy when I was thinner, I was always wanting to do something physical. I was just so energetic!!! That may be the thing I miss most. i was always hyper. I liked it! so knowing all this, I know my mission. I have to accept the monkey is there and I will for my whole life have to be vigilant against his attacks.