Friday, August 10, 2012
Days 11-14 Can I Use My Obsessive Personality For Good Instead of Evil?
All of us who are overeaters know that feeling. We finally have gotten off our rears and are going to do something. Day 1, not a problem. The adrenaline that comes with a major decision to do something and then actually doing it gets you by on that day. Maybe even day 2 and 3. But day 4, that thrill, that rush, it is waning. Now this is more like a job. And man, are you starting to get hungrier easier. Then you get those fond memories. Right about now, I was having big ol' supper and my belly was filling up and man that was great! I sure do miss that! Then it starts. The obsession kicks in. Man if I could just have a few chips/a candy bar/a beer, that wouldn't hurt anything right? Those thoughts begin to be a deluge, working on you all day. If you are a working stiff, maybe you get by the day with concentrating on work, but when that go home bell sounds, you are left out on an island, all alone. It begins to be a huge battle in your mind. "I want to succeed" "no, I like food enough to deal with being fat" "I can't bend over to pick up stuff I drop, something has to be done" " I have kids to pick up the things I drop, give me that pie!" That is the bad obsessive nature of dieting I have dealt with more often than not. But I realized something about v1.0 that i had not realized prior to my walk yesterday. (yes I been walking and more or less sticking to my calorie budget for the past few days, just not inspired to blog). I was obsessive during that run too, I just didn't catch it. I was obsessed with being in calorie burning mode all the time. I wrote down every calorie I ate. I kept up with my basal metabolic rate as I was losing weight and then I would write out my calories I had taken in for the day, compare it to how many calories I would have burned in the hours I had been awake, and was constantly striving to be in a deficit on the intake side and a surplus on the output side. I was borderline OCD about it! So I begin today with a conscious effort on my part to switch my obsessions. I will know be focusing my energy on being in a calorie deficit rather than trying to fight off urges to eat. when my stomach growls, I will consider that a success rather than an emergency! When I think about getting a bite to eat, or what my meal is going to be, I will try to figure out how to maintain a calorie deficit even after eating that meal. I am going back to OCD baby!! So I have to share this. One of the things I like to do when I walk is to meditate on my relationship with God and Jesus' teachings and how I can put them into action. So on Thursday when I was walking, I seemed to remember a story about how when Solomon was made king, he prayed that God would give him wisdom. God was very pleased because most would pray for power or knowledge, but when one prays for wisdom, that shows that he is humble. I had been praying about my weight loss, but had been praying for self discipline rather than wisdom. I was seeking the wrong weapon in my prayers!! James 1:5 says "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." That was literally when this epiphany about my obsessive behavior hit me! My God is an Awesome God Indeed!!