Day 115 Full Scale Melt Down

I am here to report that Sunday was an epic fail for me. More troubling though is the fact that I can't point to a reason, no root cause is obvious. No finger pointing to be had. I was cruising along just fine all day until around 2 or so. I had been laying on the couch watching football and waiting for Kathy to come home so we could get a mile walk in to finish out my 5 miles for the day. I got up to go get some water in the kitchen and passed by Lauren's Halloween candy. I had not even thought about it even though I passed by it several times a day before, but this time, I got a small bag of skittles out and ate them, then another and a third. After that, I polished off the 4 biscuits and the gravy that was left over from the breakfast I cooked for Kathy! I was not mindlessly doing it, I knew all along it was not the best idea for me to do it, but I did it anyway! Worse more, Kathy brought home the nuts we had ordered through Lauren's Girl Scout troop and i had some of those too without counting the calories. I was, relative to the recent past, out of control folks. Now, I did stem the tide after that. I do feel back in complete control now. I have no doubts about my continued success from this point forward. I sat down and thought it over, and while I am disappointed in myself for letting that happen, there will be no self imposed beating. I will accept it for what it is, be mindful of my feelings towards this behavior, and move forward with my goals intact and my resolve possibly even stronger than before. I think that this blog, this forum for release, is possibly what was missing before in my other weight loss journeys. I have come to the conclusion based on my experiences in all facets of life, not just this journey, that if you keep quiet about things like this, if you allow them to permeate your thoughts with no relief valve, that is when you lose the battle, that is when you give your self doubt and self loathing power to change your resolve, too change your power position. Owning your actions and your future are very important, do not let them own you! So I come to you, my fellow Band of Brothers and Sisters, with this disclosure. I did a bad job today. I accept that, I own that. I also accept that it does not change me as a person, it does not own me and it will not affect my performance from this point forward. I am back on track, I am ready to continue this change in my life.

That being said, I consider the melt down a small part of a great week. I was dead on other than that with my eating, I walked a total of 24.5 miles this week, and I accomplished a great deal of housework this weekend. I also got some NFL time in today while Kathy was out taking care of Girl Scout business. I watched two full games and it was great! I still love my Cowboys, but I am keeping and eye on the Browns and the Raiders for the rest of this year as each has a running back from the University of Arkansas that are enjoying success right now and that makes me happy.

Looking at my schedule for this week it looks like I may be able to get about the same walking mileage this week. I am ramping up in anticipation of my Thanksgiving break challenge which will potentially leave me with 30 miles walked that week! I get all goose bumpy looking forward to that week! Am I a freak?

Ok, I am signing off here. I hope that each and every one of you has a great week and accomplishes all that you want to!!

Day 114 Hi, My Name is Shane........

and I am addicted to walking for exercise. You laugh, but Kathy and I were talking today, and I mentioned that I felt as though I had opened a door that couldn't be closed by trying to work out a little extra to get me in shape for Thanksgiving weekend's challenge to myself. I wondered if my 5 miles at once weekends were going to turn into more miles at a time. Kathy said she was going to have me committed if I started walking more than five miles at a time! I broke it to her gently that I had already considered the idea of 10.2 miles being my next increment based on the fact it is a 10k and all, but I would try to stop it there.

We went to dinner tonight with our best friends and it was great. A local restaurant was having a November special in which you get your choice of two meals on a list for 20 bucks. Now, this place is some great food, but it charges well for it's great food. So when the Hunter's called to tell us about it and ask us to go eat with them, I was ecstatic! So we did go and eat. I love that they had charbroiled catfish on the menu and they even gave me green beans as my side. I had enough calories left after supper to eat some yogurt and then I had an orange too. Stil didn't make it to 1500, so tomorrow, I may try to get a few extra calories in. I tried to tonight almost. Izetta offered me some of her chicken strips tonight and I had to turn them down. They are the really good sized and yummy chicken strips, but I just didn't have the heart after counting my calories and deciding that today would be a 1500 calories day.I am sliding in at 1370 calories and about to conk out and go to bed. I be tired dudes. Ya'll have a great what is left of your wkeekened!

Hot 100 Update And A Great Picture!

Ok, it is Friday and I have been posting my Hot 100 Update on Saturday mornings lately, so I decided to post the update on time this time. I am cruising right along on all but one of my original goals. I had to give up on the 5k time goal cause my ankles hurt too bad when I run. So the edited goal was to get high mileages in walking in. Last week I got 22.5 miles walking in. This week I have a total of 13.5 miles in so far, with plans for at least 10 more by weekends in, for a total of 23.5, so I am getting there on that goal. I amended my no break goal to no white bread or bread that is colored but still essentially white bread. Have been doing great on this one too. I am upset that my pitas are no longer at Wal Mart, but I did find a replacement in the whole wheat low card tortillas. I actually like their taste better so it worked out. I am still doing great on the veggies and fruits goal. I already have surpassed my get to 240 pounds goal, so I am going to edit it to getting below 225 I think. Which leads me to my next point. Weighed in this morning and got a great number on the scale:

another 8 pounds gone from Shane! Less of me to love but they get to love me for longer so it evens out!

Day 112 Me Versus Me

So I was walking this morning (shocker I know!) and I kinda had a thought. I am extremely competitive, sometimes too much so. Well, I had this thought. I am competing with myself on this journey. I know sounds strange, but hear me out. By going on this journey, I created a second identity. So now, the reality is I am two people now. I am still that guy that was an over eater, poor quality food eater, no exercising, sit behind the computer or tv for the whole weekend guy. I have not killed that guy. He could make a comeback at any time. I also have created the other guy, the watch those calories, get your weight training done, walk a few more miles, and blog blog blog guy. Those two people, they compete each and ever day, all day. I have to say that it is fun seeing the first guy getting his ass kicked. I love watching the second guy just shellack the other guy. It is great! I get this image of old me, battered, bruised, black eyed and limping. I just laughed a little when I typed it and visualized it. Oh this is great. You guys try it out!

So tomorrow is weigh in day for me. I am so excited. I always try to guess what my weight will be the next day. I have been pretty great on my eating, super great on my exercise and all this added together should see me go from 242 to 234 pounds. That is my guess. If not, so be it. I will still be aiming for 230 on November 30. And when I get it, I have decided what my reward will be. I am going to buy me an Under Armour shirt from Academy sports. Not the compression shirt, not yet, but an Under Armour t shirt.

I got fussed over today. I should have liked it, but I just couldn't take it. I was told I look so great and so young and my face is almost unrecognizable now. It was my old attorney and the new attorney she works for now. They are both awesome women and it was nice to know they thought so much of my progress. I have decided to try to get a picture of me taken this weekend in my new Nike XL shirt to post on here. It will be epic I am sure! haha. Ya'll think of me tomorrow morning for my weigh in!

Day 111 How Did I NOT Do This before?

I want to first thank everyone who commented on my win last night. I appreciate your congrats and am honored to serve the public.

Next, I am continuing on with my obsession with walking. I have moved on to thinking I have to get four miles in a day, two in the morning and two in the evening. I swear, it is nuts. Want to know what it is kinda like? Like my obsession with watching tv, eating mindlessly, and gaining weight. However, I sometimes am finishing up my walks and think to myself "how did THIS become a habit?" The real question is how did this NOT become a habit? In fact, how did my bad habits become habit? It is nuts! Looking back, I have no idea!! I can barely sit her and type this blog sometimes. The only time I ever can sit without moving for any length of time is first thing in the mornings before the coffee kicks in and I am browsing blogs. I do ok then, but as soon as my weight lifting is done, it is a challenge all day to sit down and just be still. I find reasons all the time at work to do it, go walk as often as possible at lunch, and now I have picked up the evening walking habit! The good news is the neighbor across the road runs and she is totally making me look bad running, so there is no slacking in my walking. I feel great now, but I suspect that I will be sore tomorrow morning. One more day and then I get Friday off from walking!

I have mentioned I am shooting for 230 by November 30 on here and I am so ready to see the scale on Friday and see how close I am on the first weigh in of November. I am shooting for 237 or lower. I am also worried about the soup I had tonight having too much sodium. I wonder if the fact that I just kill my water all the time will keep it from being an issue? I know I am all over tonight, but i didn't give any thought to my subject before I sat down today. Part of adding the walking to my evening agenda I guess. I will be better tomorrow.

Doctor Fat to Fit tagged me in an answer these questions post over here and here are the q's and a's. See what you think Doc!

1) If you could be any animal, what would you choose?
a quarterhorse for two reasons, but only one is printable on a family friendly blog! I love to watch them run so effortlessly and gracefully, it is nature's poetry in motion. Figure the other out!

2) Name 1 thing you would NOT do, even if I payed you a million bucks?

give you the million bucks back!!

3) Name one big news event that made an impact on you other than 9/11. Why and How did it impact you?

oh I remember when Jerry Jones bought the Cowboys and then fired Tom Landry. In fact now that I am thinking about it again, I am pissed all over and I hate Jerry Jones!

4) Where did you go or would you like to go on your honeymoon?

still not able to afford a honeymoon, but our thinking is we want to go to Rome and not have to be on a small budget for the week. Not sure WHEN it will happen, but it WILL happen.

Day 110 I WON!

Hey everybody, I am now Justice of the Peace Elect Shane Griffin! That is exciting. I did go over on my bank today by having some of the food at the Courthouse watch party, but it was by no means by a great deal, I figured up probably 2000 calories for the day. I am actually typing this Wednesday morning as we got home late. I am so excited and nervous about doing well with this new responsibility.

Day 109 Can You Feel It?

Good Monday evening my fine fellow bloggers and bloggerettes! I am in a fine mood tonight. I had what I would consider a break through of a day today. I can't really explain it all that well but I will try. I have posted and seen many other posts regarding the fact that despite all the evidence you see like the number on the scale, the looser clothing, friends raving about your weight loss etc, we just don't see or feel that we are any thinner. Well today, I just felt it!! Not due to a glance in the mirror, not because I bent over effortlessly, not because I could walk faster and further (all of which did happen today but not before my feeling began) but I just FELT it. I had a swagger about me, I was even more focused on the future and how my body would change, and I just plain accepted that I was thinner. I hope to have more of these days!

My eating has been exceptional here lately. I only got close to the 1800 calories I allow myself on the weekends on Sunday and still, even with the sweet treats, only got to 1705 calories! I spent most of today hungry, I suspect because of my huge amount of activity Sunday, but I just kept working through it and my final count for the day today was only 1380 calories. I didn't get as many vegetables as normal today and have asked Kathy to help me rectify that for the rest of the week. I am so glad to be seeing this lifestyle change be taking root! I am even more excited to see the results of my decision to change coming to fruition!!

I had a great time in general tonight watching Lauren play basketball! She is a lot better than last year. I am going to take advantage of the more active me and get out and help her practice extra. She is still scared to shoot the ball in a game, so I am going to help her get over that and to learn how to get open and ask for the ball. It is great to know that I will be able to move now and help her with more than just instructions!

Well tomorrow is my big day for the election. I either win and become Justice of the Peace or I lose and get this over with! I have decided I am fine with either outcome. I do have a lot of time commitments already and it would just be one more, but in the same token, I could use the extra money too. So ya'll keep me in your thoughts and prayers that the Lord will have his will be done and that I be ok with either outcome please.