It is part of my DNA I guess. My whole life I want to be fast and I want to be perfect at everything I do. The wanting to be fast was further enhanced by my life in factory work. Of course whatever kinds of job you have in an industrial setting, the key is speed and quality both. So with 15-18 years under my belt in that kind of setting, I have a hard time understanding that you don't always have to do 100 mph. Also, you won't ever be perfect. It is ok to shoot for it, but be realistic when you don't get there.
One of the hardest adjustments for me in my new career is that I don't have to race a clock to make sure I get all my hours in because that is how I get maximum compensation. So I still occassionally find myself trying to rush across town after dropping off the kids to get to the office before 8. Now I am coming to grips with that is not necessary. I am on salary, and except for maybe 2 days a week, I have no need to be here that early.
The other adjustment for me has been I am now the end of the line. Whatever I am doing better be right, because nobody checks my work anymore. So rather than racing through typing a document up, I have had to learn to go slow, and learn to use crazy methods like reading it backwards for typos or mistakes. So lately I am more methodical in drafting things. With that has come the luxury of my mind not racing so fast. Even with all that, the facts are I do still make typos. I do still get something wrong. Not as often, but still. Another thing I learned...... so do the others. I have used some old documents as go by's when I am typing stuff up. I find that the other guys made typos too. We by nature are not perfect.
I know,you are wondering what the heck does that have to do with the price of tea in China? It says this about me. I can change, I can become better at those things. And that is what I need most to be successful in this new bid. Moment of truth telling. I was so good all day yesterday. But for some reason, I was sitting around last night, and the girls were out shopping and my boy was in bed. I decided to do a little binge. I fought it off for a bit, but eventually habit won. And in the old days, i would beat the hell out of my self mentally and emotionally. Now, my attitude is that was yesterday. I have to let that go and move forward. I wasn't perfect YESTERDAY. But I do get another chance today.
Also, I have made it ok to not feel like a slacker because I didn't run 3 miles everyday this week. If I get 3 in, so be it. If I get no organized exercise in, but I have mowed, and I have been out messing with kids in the back yard, or even went to a boardwalk and walked all day, still counting it. This is how it is now. No insanity here.