Losing It For The Family

Losing It For The Family

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

I call Shenanigans!

Recently, I have been approached by a few people about me starting to blog again. I have done the spit and sputter, stop and start thing lately when it comes to blogging and dieting. I often wonder why it is that I am doing that. I mean I have an idea of what needs to be done. I chronicled what turned out to be a wildly successful run down the scale to Onederland. It isn't like I should have to figure it all out again right? The mold is set, I just have to pour the plaster, right?

Yeah it seems like that would be the common sense approach. But if I am being honest, I have to call shenanigans on myself. This may be a reference that is missed to those who have never watched Southpark. The short hand on it is that in one episode, the boys were at a fair and someone tried to rip them off. So they called shenanigans and the cops came running. Well, I feel like I am a fraud who ripped people off. A lot of people bought into my blog, got caught up in my hype. A lot of people rah rah'd for me, congratulated me when I got to 196 pounds. I hear even more folks never said anything in real life but they read my blog and it was a high point of their day and made them want to follow in my steps.

Knowing this, I just feel like I let a lot of people down by back sliding, by being nearly back to square 1. And add to that the stops and starts I have been having with blogging and I just can't work up the heart to possibly let folks down again. As i sat typing this, I am starting to think that is likely the reason I am doing poorly generally. I am a fraud to myself. I swore to be damned that I would never tip the scales above 200 pounds again, and here I am in 2X shirts again. If I am a fraud to myself, how can I possibly sell myself on another run at Onederland?

3 comments:

  1. It's not about selling yourself to anyone. You are not responsible for making reader's happy. Who you are and your self worth and importance will NEVER be in a size or a number on the scale. You are not a fraud - you are human.

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  2. Divad nailed it beautifully. You're human. I've never thought of you as anything remotely close to a "fraud." If that's how you feel about yourself, I beg you to reconsider this self-judgement. You're an incredibly intelligent human, Shane. The power and essence of your journey isn't about arriving at any particular number, is it? It's the ride. It's the ups and downs--it's the get back up and fight spirit. I completely understand and respect your right to blog or not to blog, but if you decide on the latter, please don't let it be because your perception and negative self-talk has you believing something that isn't true. You haven't let anyone down. You're not a fraud. You're a fantastic human. I'm not trying to invalidate your feelings--that wouldn't be right--I'm just saying, with a little more compassion and love for yourself, I believe your perspective would be shifted into a wonderful gear.

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  3. You can do it! You are one of my favorite bloggers. Reading your blog inspired me to finish my Bachelors at 35.

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