I Shall Finish The Game

I talked about how I was struggling with my permissive eating earlier this week and how I related that it seemed to be related to the fact that I had reached the huge first goal of getting under 200 pounds. I asked God for help, set my jaw, and became determined to get back on track with no snacking at night, and no permissive eating for at least two weeks. Of course, given my prayers and a few good days of structured eating and minimal snacking, I have gotten back into the groove. I am not sure how many of you have seen the movie "Young Guns", but it has a quote in it that popped in my head while I was jogging yesterday morning. Billy the Kid is telling a story that his mentor told him, about two old men playing a game of mah jong I believe, and a third man approaches and tells them the world is coming to an in a few hours and how he is going to go do something and asks what the other two guys are going to do, the one replies with another task that he is going to do, and the last guy looks at both and says to them "I shall finish the game". I know the context is not right, I am no where near having my weight loss journey come crashing down on me, but the sentiment fit my attitude. I set out with some specific goals in mind. I want to lose to a certain weight, and I want to maintain that weight and be healthier in my eating and more active in my life. And I now know that I am not going to fall off the wagon after this huge achievement as I have in the past, I shall finish the game! I refuse to be the guy that in one year is talking about "yeah in 2010-2011 I had a great run at weight loss and was under 200, I don't know how I let that go". I am done with that story. I won't be re-telling it anymore. In one year, I plan to be telling the story of how I was 300+ pounds in 2009, and then I got off my ass and did something about it and now have run a half marathon! I plan on being "that guy" that tells people how he feels better and healthier now than he did on his thirtieth birthday. I shall finish the game!

So in the TMI area maybe, but I am thinking I may need to buy a compression shirt or two. I have found out why they exist I do believe. I am having the worst time with my shirts rubbing my nipples raw when I jog and get sweaty! I cannot begin to explain how uncomfortable that is. I can combat it by taking my shirt off when the sweat begins to pour while on the treadmill, but out at the park and yes at the 5k I am going to run at on March 19th, I am pretty sure nobody wants to see that happen! So I am debating about buying just one compression shirt and no, I will not wear only that shirt, it will get a cover. But, maybe one day? I am fascinated by how my belly is really beginning to make some real changes. My muffin top is getting so much smaller, but it has this weird wrinkly thing going on at the very bottom of it. honestly, if it werent for that weirdness, I would almost be ok with going shirtless right now, but that has prevented any idea of such madness from happening! all in all, I can say that my loose skin issues are not as bad as they should be, and I attribute that to my water drinking fool self. I read somewhere that if you drink tons of water while losing large amounts of weight, it keeps the fat cells and skin cells from being so droopy by keeping them full and more structurally sound while they shrink. I dunno if there is any credence to be lent to this, but all I know is I drink water and lots of it and the skin is not as bad as I think it should be for having lost almost a hundred pounds in 7 or so months. Take that for what it is worth.

Ok, I take Thursdays off from working out, and I have to admit, it has become a day of angst for me. I so look forward to hitting the treadmill every morning and getting my endorphin fix. I do realize that I have to take a day off though and I chose Thursday because I have Fridays off from work and have began to hit the park trail for jogging without any time limits and I am able to push myself on those days. As I sit and type this, I am getting more and more upset with the fact that it is the time that I usually am lacing my shoes up to go get on the treadmill. That is actually why this blog entry is so long. I am trying to occupy my mind and get over that angst! Ok, I am done blogging now. Bye everybody and have a wonderful day!!