That Monkey That Won't Hop Off My Back

Despite all rah rah and actual good I am doing on this journey lately, I still have the evening snacking monkey on my back. Reality is that I snack more healthily than in days past, but the amount of times I snack at night need to stop! So that I can keep putting a face on my enemy, I am talking about it once again. I had a sentence typed out that said I was thinking about starting this battle tonight, Friday night and 3 day weekend be danged!!! I am following my own advice and saying I AM STARTING THIS BATTLE TONIGHT, FRIDAY NIGHT AND 3 DAY WEEKEND BE DANGED! I have no reason to be eating anything but one evening snack, and even if they are more healthy. Too many carrots and hummus lose their health benefits, too many apples keep my blood sugar up. Pick on snack and let it go Shane!!

My Bad

Ever have that day when you are just feeling like busting out? One of the things I decided a couple of weeks ago was to just walk for now, so I could consistently work out day to day with no soreness or knee pain. So I have actually spread cardio out between the stationary bike, this machine that is not an elliptical but kinda looks like it, and then walking on the treadmill. It started yesterday. I was on the treadmill and it was all I could do to not break out in a run. I made myself be good, and just did a nice brisk walk. But today, I just couldn't keep the leash on. So I broke out in a nice jog. It was only at 4.5 mph and I only jogged a combined 18 1/2 minutes of the 30 minutes, but man! But the best part was I thought I had hit the wall at about 6 minutes left so I was just going to walk it out. I happened to be looking at the how many miles mark at about 1 1/2 minutes mark and saw that I was at like 1.86 miles I think. I decided I was a wuss if I didn't shoot for 2 miles. I turned it up to 5 mph real quick to try to make up that mileage. I honestly don't recall how long it has been since I felt so free. I was running with good form and it felt so good to just BUST OUT!!

The one thing I have always held onto despite my weight gain is my desire to run distances. There is just no feeling like it when you get a good run in! I am going to go back to being good and walking biking or whatever that machine is for now. But I would be shocked if another bust out day shows up in the near future.......

Perspectives

Sorry for the two posts in one day.

So today I was at the gym getting my sweat on, and I saw me in the mirror. Typically this is a bad experience for my psyche. I generally think "man, how did I fall from the pinnacle to this?" Today, it was different. I don't know why, but I just felt different. So when I got back from the gym, I found the two pictures you see above on Facebook. In one, I am in the best shape I have ever been in my whole adult life (presuming we don't count teenage/early 20s) and in the other, I am the guy who backslid from not being the fattest guy in the room usually.

But that is not what I see anymore. As of today, I see where I am, and where I am headed. I am not ashamed of where I am. It just means I get to get better! for the first time in a long time, it doesn't pain me to look at a 2011 picture of me. In fact, it encourages me. To the rest of us who have backslid, it ain't nothing. It just gives you an opportunity to be successful twice in weight loss and then prove you can be successful again in maintenance!

Badges of Honor

Yesterday's workout is settling in this morning. That half hour on the bike pedaling like mad? Got my thighs and abs and obliques hurtin'!! That chest workout with a new lift added at the end? Got my chest screamin'! Those to me are badges of honor. Do I actually like being sore? I don't know, I think I kinda do. In my line of work, I am chasing evidence down to make sure a case is solid (I actually don't go do it, I have the police do it. But you get the picture.) I want to be able to tell a jury, see, look at this fact, and this piece of evidence. How can you not see that he did this crime??

Every day that I wake up sore, stiff, and taking a bit longer to wake up, that is evidence. It is evidence that I chose change. I got off my couch/recliner/office chair and went and created a calorie deficit, and pushed my muscles to a point that they began to burn sugar for energy rather than using oxygen. It means that today or within the next few days, I will have bigger muscles that burn more fat even if I am just sitting still. It means that next week, based on my continuing to workout consistently, I will be in even better shape than I am today. Soreness is a sign of forward progress. While your attitude may initially be that it hurts and hurt sucks, if you are more forward thinking, it is a badge of honor. It is your proof that change is coming if you keep up.

Seriously?

I went to the gym for lunch today. It was a small miracle that I did really. One of my usual cohorts is out taking his son to college today and the other just decided it was a half day kind of day. So I debated about the idea of just not going. Then I tabled that debate, got my damn gym clothes on, and went! But the bigger story here isn't about my going. It is about my leaving.

I don't mess around when I decide to work out. It just isn't in me to chit chat and spend a few minutes between sets or even between lifts. I go in, do my cardio, walk straight to the weight room, and begin lifting. I doubt there is ever a straight 30 seconds of me not lifting unless it takes me longer to load a bar up with weight. So anyway, the point to this is. I did my workout that has been leaving me dying as I walk out the door. I was not dying as I walked out the door! I was tired, but I didn't take the usual 5 minutes to make sure I wasn't going to pass out while driving!!! I honestly feel like the biggest stud in the world! Seriously folks. Commit to 7 days. Heck commit to 4 days if 7 scares you. I promise you that once you get to that point that you just go do it instead of thinking you should go do it, it is a game changer! I seriously don't remember walking with this much swagger in quite a while. My head is up, my eyes are looking ahead, and I am marching into a a new success story that has a happy ending!

It Feels Good!

Man. I have to admit it feels good to look back on the past week or so and see that I put together something to be proud of for the first time in a long time. Maybe Friday night wasn't optimal. But big picture wise, a successful week. I have started tracking again, which phelps me be more mindful of what goes in my mouth. I have been consistent in activity, which makes the next day not so hard on me motivation wise. I even got a glimpse of the thing I miss the most from healthier Shane days. I got antsy to the the point I had to go outside to find something to do!!!

I wish there was a way to figure out what it is that sparks the fire and desire to do rather than having to talk yourself into doing it. If I could bottle that up, I'd be rich!!!!

7 Days

I just put together 7 straight days of good nutrition and consistent activity. In those 7 short days, the change in my energy level and attitude about getting back on track have taken a 180 degree turn! So that is my challenge to all who are having a little trouble getting going. Commit to 7 days of eating well, and no matter how sore you are after days 1,2 and 3, just go do something lightly strenuous for 30 minutes. I am loving the new found actual motivation rather than trying to talk myself into being motivated!!!