Wild Isn't It?

One of the things I marvel at now is how much my filter on so many things has changed during this journey. I forgot to start my day off writing down my calories, so I sat down to recreate my eating for the day a few minutes ago. I honestly just felt like I had eaten more than I should have today. So I sit down and get to pounding the numbers out, and it turns out, I was a little under on my calories today!! And the beauty is, with my "No Deals" policy in place, 1590 calories is my count for the day!! Yeah, kinda a bad man ain't I? So after just looking at my menu for the day, I can recall when all of that together probably would have been one meal for me. Heck I probably had 1600 calories by mid morning before, and if I didn't then I would have had that much plus another thousand by after lunch! And here is the thing, I would have subconsciously known i had overeaten, but my filter would have told me it was ok, no sense in worrying about it. Now today, I thought was over and was actually under! what a dynamic change!!

Do ya'll have the same experiences with finding out how different you perceive things like your calorie intake for the day, or how hard it used to be to just talk yourself into getting up to go do something and how it is so hard to sit down when you know something needs done? Let me know what it is that you most find amazing after getting on that golden brick road.

No Deals Is A Hit!!

I think God has sent me that prayer! My "No Deals" strategy has been working out like gang busters! I do not eat at all after supper anymore, and it is very empowering. Now I have to figure out how to keep from trying to make deals with myself over exercising. I have lost my zeal, and I have to wonder if it has to do with all this heat! We had every day in June over 90 degrees here in Arkansas and the last week and half has been over 100, more specifically 105 for 5 days in a row now! My air conditioner is getting so tired. I went for a jog at 6 a.m. the other day and it was so hot my first half mile I was soaked!

I have been thinking more and more about the start of law school lately. It has pretty much taken control of my life. I find things to do to occupy me and my mind as often as possible, but the reality is, it is always there in the back ground. So much so that I feel like my work may be slipping, and I don't find that acceptable at all. I love my boss Cheryl and she deserves 100% of me, so I am vowing to get my head back in the game and finish strong for this last month! I know that this is not weight loss related per se, but my emotions tend to drive my eating patterns and this issue has been a concern of mine lately, so I had to try to get it "out there" and make it real so I am not running scared from it. That is what I love so much about blogging. It helps you deal with your demons with a group that gets it and is not judgmental. I think that I was unsuccessful in weight loss for so long because I was scared of my constant failure and what was really driving my behaviors, and if you are so scared of something you don't talk about it, it has the power over you. Once you acknowledge that you have an issue and put it out there to start being worked on, it loses its power over you, and then you can begin the real battle!

Veins O' Plenty

one of the coolest things about this journey so far has been the appearance of veins all over my forearms and calves. Seriously. LOTS OF THEM! I sometimes just sit and look at them for like 5 minutes.

One of the worst things about this whole journey, the loose skin everywhere, I mean seriously LOTS OF IT! But the most frustrating of all is my belly flap. It is shrinking pretty good now, but it seems like it is never gonna go away!

Oh Yes My Old Friend, I Remember Now!!

I had quit running for the last month, give or take a few days. I conquered this hill in town and that seemed like a end point for some reason. I just kinda let it slip away, moved on to concentrating on my core muscles and getting them developed. But one thing escaped me. For that month, I was one of the least contented people I have ever met. Not like I was crabby or ill tempered, I just was not happy in my life in general and was so anxious to get started in law school that I wasn't enjoying my summer at all. I know it is only one day, but I have to say that I was in so much of a better mood today that I have to wonder how I didn't put two and two together! I only got a mile and a half in today, but I already am really anxious to back out there tomorrow and do it all again! I am angling for a ipod touch that I have found on craigslist. I want to be able to listen to my tunes when I run and surf the web when I am out and about, and this is a good deal if the lady will e mail me back!

My eating is on day 3 of 1600 calories give or take. It is easier than I remember to be honest. I have become this huge fruit and veggie fanatic too, and that makes it easier on the calorie count. I also am on track on my no eating after supper quest. I had the urge tonight, but I have fought it off and am good now that I am blogging! I can't wait to see the weigh in on monday!

No Deals

When I worked at my old law firm, one of my duties was to make deals on civil lawsuits. Our clients that had gotten some credit cards, ran them up and then figured out that oh snap, that wasn't free money, they want paid, came to us when they got sued. So by the time I left, the one thing I was pretty good at was making deals for them. I learned what attorneys I could wait out, call the day before the court date and say hey, will you take x amount of dollars to get this thing off the docket for tomorrow? often times you got 1/2 or better off the amount they were suing for. or at the least, they would take small payments. Well, that kinda suits me and my personality. I am a deal maker. Especially with myself. I can talk myself into anything. So one of the things I am determined to do now that I am back on the wagon is to stop making deals with myself. I will freely admit my biggest issue is evening snacking, so I am now focused on making myself not eat after supper. That is the last meal, period. Well tonight is night two and I stopped myself from deal making. We have tomatoes here in the house from my mother in law's garden. I decided that it would be ok to cut one up and eat it. hell 40 calories ain't hurting me, I am at 1610 calories for the day. Buuuuut, God answered my prayers and said nope, not the plan Shane. I backed down and here I sit typing about my victory instead of my failure!! PTL baby!

So I was thinking about this. Habits are habits. that is a given. Here is a fun tidbit about me though. I now have two sets of habits. I have the old snacking habits, not watching my calories habits, just bad habits in general. However, I also have the calorie logging, eating right, show me the calorie deficit habits too. Here is the thing. Either set of habits is very natural to me. I can fall very easily into either. Granted the "break" I just took was not me going back into my old habits full on, but I could see that slippery slope coming! But, here is the thing, I had no problem at all getting right back into the good habits the last two days either! How cool is that?

And Scene!!

As I talked about before, I have kinda been on a break on the diet front. The energy I was expending on it just wore me out. I have put back on poundage, say around 14 of them!! I am not proud, I am not ashamed. I KNOW how to do dieting and exercising right, I am not 60 pounds down the road either and deciding to get back on track.

So as I did in the beginning of this journey, I am going to start with simple goals.

Goal 1: I will stop the unmonitored snacking. To be read, no mindless eating. I know my choices of snacks have changed drastically, but the habit is still a bad one.

Goal 2: Severely curb my eating in the evenings, as this is the real issue I have in keeping on track. I can not eat all day and not once have an issue with it, but come 6 or 7, then the urge kicks in.

Goal 3: Get back to 205 pounds. I don't forsee this being my biggest challenge by far, but it is out there now.

Goal 4: Get back out on the road, the pavement, the sidewalk, and get my running revved back up. In my mind, my mood has been affected lately by my lack of running. I am getting more and more impatient at work and waiting on the day I start law school. I get a caged bird feeling and it does not bode well for my work product when I get that way. I remember when I ran consistently, that i was always in a good mood, positive outlook, and ready for whatever came my way.

These things are on my mind now.

Thanks Ya'll, I had no idea.

So I have been going 90 to nothing for the last couple of weeks. I quite frankly have been just living life. Now truth be told, I have not really been "on point" with keeping up with my eating. I have not been "old Shane" either, but still yet. I really just haven't had the energy to put into blogging. I can't recall the last time I sat down before 8:30 at night and didn't have something going on. I have also become somewhat obsessed with working around the house and the yard and "getting things done" when I get off work and during the weekend. I have also been doing some major work on my core muscles here lately. Planks are my new fascination! They have opened the door to some possible yoga sessions for me, since I enjoy the planks so well. Aaaaand my friend Kevin has suddenly taken an interest in running again, and he has been posting his runs thru the Nike app on the iPhone. That has thrown me into competitive mode, and it looks like I am going to be hitting the streets again! I am crazy I do believe.

So I have to say thanks to those folks who have been asking me where I am for the past week. I had no idea me not being around the blogosphere would register at all to be honest! I have had 4 people tell me that they miss seeing my posts?! wow thanks ya'll. So here is a quick one. I want to share an NSV with ya'll. I no longer have a lily white chest, belly or back!! I am to the point that I am comfortable shirtless outside! I have been soaking up the sun baby and loving every minute of it!! I am only a tad bit cinnamon of a color as of the moment. but gees it is great!

So after getting started on this, I am resolving to get back to blogging and getting my mind back in the groove of weight loss. I am not at the weight I want to be at yet, and I need to get back to pushing again. I think I just needed a break for a minute. I worked hard for several months. I need to get back to it too!