I Remember Now

And now I remember why I wanted this blog so bad in the beginning. Accountability. I am not saying I have fallen off the wagon, cause I haven't. But it seems lately, I am losing some forward momentum. I am keeping my exercise up, I have not began to over eat again, but the urge to have a great work out is dwindling here lately and the thoughts of permissive eating has poked its head up a few times more than I would like. With that being said, permissive eating in its newest form is a wholly different animal than it used to be, but we all know, give an inch, take a mile is our motto in this club. I am going to start being a bit more conscientious about my blogging again.

I think that another aspect of blogging lies in the fact that you get to work out your issues in black and white. I know for me, anyway, actually seeing the problem I am having being recorded, being mulled over, being acknowledged, is empowering. It takes the the scared child out of the shadows, and gives him light and hope and takes the fear away. Cause I am scared. I am in uncharted territory, territory I desperately want to stay in, and history has shown me, I don't get to do that! Holy crap that sentence just thunder struck me!! That is what I am afraid of right now! My history says I don't get to keep this! I think my competitive urges literally just kicked in as I typed out that sentence. I DO GET TO KEEP IT, AND I WILL! This is a gift from God, and I will make good on my promise to Him. You get me there and I will keep me there!

On a lighter note, I have been frikkin' rockin' the runnin' here lately. I got to go outside and jog the neighborhood on Sunday, and I tore it up! The hill on my other side of the block is a much higher grade than I ever realized when walking it, I will tell you that right now. 5 trips up it and it made me realize I am still a jogger in the making, not a jogger yet.... haha. But it was a great workout, and I finished it with a sense of pride and accomplishment like I have never known. It was funny because after that workout, I was so tired and sore, and Kathy laid it on me that we were going to go ahead and go hiking at Lake Fort Smith that day! It is a pretty strenuous trail and folks, let me tell you, after 2.5 miles jogging and 2.5 miles of strenuous hiking, Sunday left me a tarred (yes, we say tarred in the south, tired to the rest of the US) and satisfied man. I was sure a sore sore man yesterday, so I skipped jogging and did a good chest workout. I thought it was a genius move until I got to the park yesterday and got started on my walking. My legs felt fine until I hit that first uphill climb, and suddenly, I knew it was one of those days. I knew I was gonna have to push hard despite being sore, and I was up for that challenge! I got the three laps and 2.25 miles in and made a few of the other walkers look pretty slow! NSV in my book!

Ok, this has been great for my attitude this morning. I am going to see about getting back to blogging more consistently. Oh hell, I forgot. I weighed in last Friday and lost 4 more pounds to 201 pounds!!! I am so excited cause that means I should be able to hit my One-derland goal on the 25th! It will take some doing on my part, but I think I am up to the task!

It was great to see ya'll again and I am going to try to get back to a more regimented blogging schedule. I really have missed this. It has been such a big part of my journey and I need it more than knew apparently. Thanks for being there boggers and bloggerettes, ya'll are so awesome!