Those Days.....

Before I get started, I need some direction. I cannot post on my the blogs of any of my friends for some reason? it says this email address isn't authorized or something to that effect. does anyone have a fix for me? I have tried twice now to post on blog posts and have been denied the privelege!

So this morning, I went over to my friend Kevin's house and we set out on a run. Kevin just finished a marathon this past Saturday. Between Kevin and Ddean Karnazes' book Marathon Man, I am bound and determined to do at least a half marathon and I have the pie in the sky dream of a marathon one day. But I digress. So anyway, back to the I went to Kevin's house story. So we gtook off on our run and we get to talking and seriously the run was like nothing. We talked the entire time and turned around and it was over. So we chat for a second and then I leave and as I am driving home, it occurs to me how wild it is that I just 1. went on a run that was not debilitating 2. Went with a friend and did not get ran away from and 3. was barely breathing hard after 2 miles and only had to breath hard for 2-3 tops after it, and we had pushed the pace pretty hard since it was a short run. Two years ago on a Saturday, I would put money I was making a huge breakfast with about 2000 calories in it, and preparing to sit on my butt all day and watch football or movies or something and had my laptop in what little lap I had at the time trying to surf with it at an odd angle. Wow what a difference a couple of years can make! So then I keep thinking on and never ever ever in 1 million years would I have even thought of the idea of running a half marathon two years ago! in fact, if you had brought it up, I would have asked you what the hell would i want to run for? Now, I run for fun and fitness! I am loving that after law school got me off track in my running, I am picking it back quickly! Last week I was huffing and puffing for a mile and a half, yesterday I killed a three mile run! How great is that!

Has anyone else been hit with a reality lately of past and present and the huge differences between the two?

Hey Guys

It is me again. Just a quick check in. I added another 4 pound since my last post, for a total of 30 pounds put back on. That is the bad news. The good news is, I am back to running. I have to admit that my stopping running was more devastating to me than I realized. I cannot begin to explain to you that rush, that confidence, that swagger I get when I run. and it isn't just for the hours following my run. I get that for the whole day! So for the past couple of weeks, I have been back at running. I am in finals now, and I knew I needed an outlet for the stress. I dusted off the treadmill that got me so far last winter and started using it again, and I seriously resdiscovered my love for running and all the benefits! At first, i was disappointd in how I measured up for speed, distance and endurance, but compared to where I left off. But here is the thing. I got started somewhere before, and look how that worked out for me! So I am getting started somewhere now. and I am adding a wrinkle. I don't know how many will have heard of Dean Karnazes, but he is an ultramarathoner that has won all sorts of crazy races, and ran a 199 mile relay race BY HIMSELF! yes as in all however many legs there were, he did them all! I got turned onto him by my friend Kevin, and reading that book spoke to me. Before, I was all about the 5k, but now, now I want more. I want to do 10k's and half marathons, and dammit, if I buy anymore of his book, I will probably wind up doing a frikkin marathon after all is said and done! Damn you Dean Karnazes! haha. So anyway, there you go. I am going to try to get around to some of my bloggy buddies sites today and see what they have been up to. I hope to see some great stories!

Yeeeeees!

Been a great couple of days! I haven't nailed the night eating to my satisfaction, but it has improved substantially. I an also getting my groove on in law school.I am no longer feeling overwhelmed and stressed. aaaand my 80 pound back pack is great for my walking around campus twice before class and wearing my whole body out!

Kinda for you, probably more for me

So I have gotten many emails from followers of my blog who are concerned about me and asking to hear from me. I truly am sorry that I have fallen off the face of the earth. Also many have expressed concern. That was not unfounded at all! i have put back on 26 pounds from my low! I am coming back with all hopes that I can get back to gettin' as we say here in the south. I accept full responsibilty for my current set of circumstances. I was not mentally prepared for the craziness of law school and it was really truly gettting to me the first 2 to 3 weeks. and as in days of old, I sought my comfort in food. It is amazing that even though I was staying reasonably active and the food I sought comfort in was much healthier than my old eating habits, I am able to pack on the pounds pretty quickly! I was thinking about that on the way home the other day and I think I may have figured out what that is about. I think I just took off my weight too fast, and now that I am not really restricting my caloric intake so low, my body is like oh crap, lets get some fat back on here in case he does that again. So I am on a new mission. I am going to take those 26 pounds off AGAIN, and this time, rather than shooting for as much weight loss as possible each weigh in, I am going to shoot for 1 pound a week. I will get there by using my head at night, which is STILL my problem, and working out moderately, so that in real life, once I get the weight off, I can keep doing the same things that got it off, and my body won't have a freak out on me. What do ya'll think?

Thanks so much for all the emails. I would list ya'll individually but I am headed out the door for church, so I am once again rushed! Have a great sunday!

I Hate Him/Her and That Guy

We all know them. That friend that "can eat anything and never gain a pound!!" It has made us all mad at some point in time. I think the problem is, we only pay attention to what it is they are eating, and not the lifestyle they are living. When ever I was eating whatever I wanted, I was following that up with several hours of inactivity, more eating whatever I wanted, and you guessed it, more inactivity. What we aren't seeing the person we hate doing is not doing that! Up in the morning, jog for him/her. Home from work, get out in the yard and putter around. Opportunity for some cake, I will have a little, but that is it. I say that because I was that guy this week. I did not have a stellar eating week. It was not bad mind you, but it was not "Shaniac" style eating from earlier this year. And guess what? I have worked out every day but one this week, and I have not eaten after supper every day but two this week, and I lost 1.3 pounds!! See, that is the missing part of the equation we have all not seen in "them" before. Even moderate activity and moderate moderation ( funny sounding huh?) can get you where you want to go, even if it isn't at lightening speed.

Then I was "that guy" again at the park trail this morning. I shouldn't enjoy it as much as I do, but having been the other side, I can't help but smile a little. I was jogging at my favorite park this morning. I kept passing the same people on the 3/4 mile trail, and a fair portion of them were giving me the "look". It was hot and I was sweaty, but I just kept jogging and getting that "look". Haha, it was great! I highly recommend it folks. I really do!

I Had To Be There To Get To Here And Appreciate It

One thing I have come to realize here lately is that different areas of my life have all come together and intertwined rather than staying in their separate compartments. I can honestly say when I step back and survey my present and future and contrast it against my past, I can honestly say I am blessed to excess!! In my past, I was never in any good relationships with women, now I have the perfect wife! In the past I was working in a factory and making eeehhh money and killing myself slowly physically. Now I am a man with a bachelor's degree and headed off to law school, and I think in my heart I have a promising career in law ahead of me. I was well overweight (still not where I should be) but now I am a much thinner and more importantly healthier man. I had a job I hated, regardless of how good I was at it, but now, I have the best boss and a much better outlook on work. I mean looking at all this, how can I not say "Wow, I am loving my life!!" But here is the thing. Cheryl, my boss, made a comment on my Facebook post about her that she has been touched everyday by my "attitude of gratitude". And it dawned on me, I think I do have an attitude of gratitude. But I am not sure that if all the things I have now had not come by hard work and faith that God would bring me these things, I would have appreciated it nearly as much. I think that the journey, as hard as it may be, always makes the destination that much sweeter. It is hard to say that being obese, poor and lonely were blessings, but in reality, I think they were (although I am still technically financially poor). Because if everything had come easy to me, I would have never had the notion that all these new found blessings were such HUGE blessings, I would have just felt entitled. So,yeah, it isn't always about what is waiting on the other side, sometimes, it really is the climb that makes the man or woman.

Freedom

I have often marveled at the fact that I love to run so much now. I have pretty much always attributed it to the endorphin high that comes with pushing yourself further than you think you can go. And I do not discount that theory now, but I think I know what really causes my joy during and after a good run. It is the new found freedom.

As an obese person, you are so limited. Your overweight body is essentially a really small jail cell. Yeah you are mobile, but only in the most basic sense. You dropped that thing you were holding, it is a chore to bend down and get it. You need to get to the other side of that tight squeeze through, you are in fear of getting stuck or breaking whatever it is you are trying to get around. You are in a situation that might require you to scoot away quickly? You KNOW that you can't do that and have to pray for the best. I use to always worry that what if my family's safety depended on my physical prowess? I knew for a fact that apart from God's blessings, I was not going to be handy in that department. That was seriously one of my motivating factors. So yesterday, I was actually walking for exercise, but it turns out oddly enough, the steep hills on my block are easier to run up than to walk up. So I was and this feeling of freedom hit me. I could feel my muscles doing their job and actually was aware of the existence of my abs and obliques and how effortlessly they were moving and twisting!! My legs were almost thanking me for the opportunity to move fast. I had to imagine it was how a person who just spent 20 years in jail feels when that gate closes behind them on release day and they get to take off to wherever they desire! I still to this day am in awe when I sit in a restaurant booth without my belly touching the table, or when I don't walk past that item on the floor, but pick it up immediately, or when I just get up out of my recliner rather than rocking back and forth to get the momentum, and yes, when I RUN. A year ago, these were all just pipe dreams but today, today they are my REALITY!

A Break In The Heat!!

God was kind enough to throw the River Valley a bone yesterday and last night when I got home, it was in the 80's!! Here lately, I have been coming home to 106 degrees every night, and it has kept me penned up inside till about 9 at night! So when I pulled in the drive way, I had these dreams of getting supper over and heading outside for some working! Remember when you were a kid and something big was coming up and the day finally got there? How you were just busting at the seams to get going at whatever it was? I was like that yesterday. Kathy still had supper in the oven at 5:30 when I got home, so I rushed and got changed into clothes for working outside. Well supper was ready by then, so we sat down to eat. We also got Lauren for the night, so we did our bible study too after we ate. I was all ready to get to gettin' outside when Kathy held me up yet again and said she was going to cut my hair while it was cooler too!! By this time I was all sorts of bent out of shape! I told her my hair was fine but she stood her ground and shockingly, she won that round too! So FINALLY I got to head out and do some work and it was great. I got all the brush from the back yard cleaned up and in a pile, I got the picnic table moved back to its spot and the saw horses too. I clean up the messes the dogs and the kids had made in the back yard. I also finally got around to partially detailing my little truck. I have had it back since February and hadn't cleaned it up once, so it was in dire need. I was feeling pretty good about myself by the time I came in and sat down for the night. So cool that rather than constantly putting things off "till later", I am bursting at the seams to get things done nowadays!!

A Big Week!

I have a big week this week! I am finally a law student for real! In law school, you don't pick your classes the first year, they pick them for you and auto enroll you in the classes. I finally got enrolled yesterday and I am super uber excited! But even better than that, I have an anniversary tomorrow! Kathy has officially put up with me for 4 wonderful, beautiful, crazy years come tomorrow! I love her and can't believe she would do that, so I am going to cherish her even more tomorrow. And lastly, on Sunday, July 17th, it has been exactly a year since I took up arms and began to fight the battle with my fat butt!! I am excited that a year in, I have lost at least 87 pounds. Realistically, I would like to be back at 196 for my anniversary, but since that won't happen, I am going to be realistic in that 87 pounds gone is a huge deal!! I don't have to hide from a camera anymore, I don't wince every time I see myself in a mirror with no shirt on, I don't scope out restaurant booths for the one with the most room between the table and the seat,I don't sit down in a chair at another persons house and wonder if I may break it, I don't avoid bending over like the plague, I don't eat mindlessly for days on end and sit behind this computer screen for hours on end. I do wake up early every morning and get some coffee in me and then do some sort of exercise, whether cardio or weight training, I do have a new filter with regard to how much food is too much, I do have MUUUUCH better eating habits, to the point even when I am snacking too much, the quality of snacks far exceeds the quality of my old snacks! I have so much to be thankful for. I attribute it all to the fact that I asked God to show me the way, to put the desire in my heart to lose weight and get healthy because my family deserves the best me they can get and needs me to live a loooong time to take care of them. He answered my prayer and showed me Sean's blog. I took up blogging and dieting in earnest and look at me now!! Thank you Lord for all that you have done and thank you blogging world for helping Him out all these months by encouraging and inspiring me!

Wild Isn't It?

One of the things I marvel at now is how much my filter on so many things has changed during this journey. I forgot to start my day off writing down my calories, so I sat down to recreate my eating for the day a few minutes ago. I honestly just felt like I had eaten more than I should have today. So I sit down and get to pounding the numbers out, and it turns out, I was a little under on my calories today!! And the beauty is, with my "No Deals" policy in place, 1590 calories is my count for the day!! Yeah, kinda a bad man ain't I? So after just looking at my menu for the day, I can recall when all of that together probably would have been one meal for me. Heck I probably had 1600 calories by mid morning before, and if I didn't then I would have had that much plus another thousand by after lunch! And here is the thing, I would have subconsciously known i had overeaten, but my filter would have told me it was ok, no sense in worrying about it. Now today, I thought was over and was actually under! what a dynamic change!!

Do ya'll have the same experiences with finding out how different you perceive things like your calorie intake for the day, or how hard it used to be to just talk yourself into getting up to go do something and how it is so hard to sit down when you know something needs done? Let me know what it is that you most find amazing after getting on that golden brick road.

No Deals Is A Hit!!

I think God has sent me that prayer! My "No Deals" strategy has been working out like gang busters! I do not eat at all after supper anymore, and it is very empowering. Now I have to figure out how to keep from trying to make deals with myself over exercising. I have lost my zeal, and I have to wonder if it has to do with all this heat! We had every day in June over 90 degrees here in Arkansas and the last week and half has been over 100, more specifically 105 for 5 days in a row now! My air conditioner is getting so tired. I went for a jog at 6 a.m. the other day and it was so hot my first half mile I was soaked!

I have been thinking more and more about the start of law school lately. It has pretty much taken control of my life. I find things to do to occupy me and my mind as often as possible, but the reality is, it is always there in the back ground. So much so that I feel like my work may be slipping, and I don't find that acceptable at all. I love my boss Cheryl and she deserves 100% of me, so I am vowing to get my head back in the game and finish strong for this last month! I know that this is not weight loss related per se, but my emotions tend to drive my eating patterns and this issue has been a concern of mine lately, so I had to try to get it "out there" and make it real so I am not running scared from it. That is what I love so much about blogging. It helps you deal with your demons with a group that gets it and is not judgmental. I think that I was unsuccessful in weight loss for so long because I was scared of my constant failure and what was really driving my behaviors, and if you are so scared of something you don't talk about it, it has the power over you. Once you acknowledge that you have an issue and put it out there to start being worked on, it loses its power over you, and then you can begin the real battle!

Veins O' Plenty

one of the coolest things about this journey so far has been the appearance of veins all over my forearms and calves. Seriously. LOTS OF THEM! I sometimes just sit and look at them for like 5 minutes.

One of the worst things about this whole journey, the loose skin everywhere, I mean seriously LOTS OF IT! But the most frustrating of all is my belly flap. It is shrinking pretty good now, but it seems like it is never gonna go away!

Oh Yes My Old Friend, I Remember Now!!

I had quit running for the last month, give or take a few days. I conquered this hill in town and that seemed like a end point for some reason. I just kinda let it slip away, moved on to concentrating on my core muscles and getting them developed. But one thing escaped me. For that month, I was one of the least contented people I have ever met. Not like I was crabby or ill tempered, I just was not happy in my life in general and was so anxious to get started in law school that I wasn't enjoying my summer at all. I know it is only one day, but I have to say that I was in so much of a better mood today that I have to wonder how I didn't put two and two together! I only got a mile and a half in today, but I already am really anxious to back out there tomorrow and do it all again! I am angling for a ipod touch that I have found on craigslist. I want to be able to listen to my tunes when I run and surf the web when I am out and about, and this is a good deal if the lady will e mail me back!

My eating is on day 3 of 1600 calories give or take. It is easier than I remember to be honest. I have become this huge fruit and veggie fanatic too, and that makes it easier on the calorie count. I also am on track on my no eating after supper quest. I had the urge tonight, but I have fought it off and am good now that I am blogging! I can't wait to see the weigh in on monday!

No Deals

When I worked at my old law firm, one of my duties was to make deals on civil lawsuits. Our clients that had gotten some credit cards, ran them up and then figured out that oh snap, that wasn't free money, they want paid, came to us when they got sued. So by the time I left, the one thing I was pretty good at was making deals for them. I learned what attorneys I could wait out, call the day before the court date and say hey, will you take x amount of dollars to get this thing off the docket for tomorrow? often times you got 1/2 or better off the amount they were suing for. or at the least, they would take small payments. Well, that kinda suits me and my personality. I am a deal maker. Especially with myself. I can talk myself into anything. So one of the things I am determined to do now that I am back on the wagon is to stop making deals with myself. I will freely admit my biggest issue is evening snacking, so I am now focused on making myself not eat after supper. That is the last meal, period. Well tonight is night two and I stopped myself from deal making. We have tomatoes here in the house from my mother in law's garden. I decided that it would be ok to cut one up and eat it. hell 40 calories ain't hurting me, I am at 1610 calories for the day. Buuuuut, God answered my prayers and said nope, not the plan Shane. I backed down and here I sit typing about my victory instead of my failure!! PTL baby!

So I was thinking about this. Habits are habits. that is a given. Here is a fun tidbit about me though. I now have two sets of habits. I have the old snacking habits, not watching my calories habits, just bad habits in general. However, I also have the calorie logging, eating right, show me the calorie deficit habits too. Here is the thing. Either set of habits is very natural to me. I can fall very easily into either. Granted the "break" I just took was not me going back into my old habits full on, but I could see that slippery slope coming! But, here is the thing, I had no problem at all getting right back into the good habits the last two days either! How cool is that?

And Scene!!

As I talked about before, I have kinda been on a break on the diet front. The energy I was expending on it just wore me out. I have put back on poundage, say around 14 of them!! I am not proud, I am not ashamed. I KNOW how to do dieting and exercising right, I am not 60 pounds down the road either and deciding to get back on track.

So as I did in the beginning of this journey, I am going to start with simple goals.

Goal 1: I will stop the unmonitored snacking. To be read, no mindless eating. I know my choices of snacks have changed drastically, but the habit is still a bad one.

Goal 2: Severely curb my eating in the evenings, as this is the real issue I have in keeping on track. I can not eat all day and not once have an issue with it, but come 6 or 7, then the urge kicks in.

Goal 3: Get back to 205 pounds. I don't forsee this being my biggest challenge by far, but it is out there now.

Goal 4: Get back out on the road, the pavement, the sidewalk, and get my running revved back up. In my mind, my mood has been affected lately by my lack of running. I am getting more and more impatient at work and waiting on the day I start law school. I get a caged bird feeling and it does not bode well for my work product when I get that way. I remember when I ran consistently, that i was always in a good mood, positive outlook, and ready for whatever came my way.

These things are on my mind now.

Thanks Ya'll, I had no idea.

So I have been going 90 to nothing for the last couple of weeks. I quite frankly have been just living life. Now truth be told, I have not really been "on point" with keeping up with my eating. I have not been "old Shane" either, but still yet. I really just haven't had the energy to put into blogging. I can't recall the last time I sat down before 8:30 at night and didn't have something going on. I have also become somewhat obsessed with working around the house and the yard and "getting things done" when I get off work and during the weekend. I have also been doing some major work on my core muscles here lately. Planks are my new fascination! They have opened the door to some possible yoga sessions for me, since I enjoy the planks so well. Aaaaand my friend Kevin has suddenly taken an interest in running again, and he has been posting his runs thru the Nike app on the iPhone. That has thrown me into competitive mode, and it looks like I am going to be hitting the streets again! I am crazy I do believe.

So I have to say thanks to those folks who have been asking me where I am for the past week. I had no idea me not being around the blogosphere would register at all to be honest! I have had 4 people tell me that they miss seeing my posts?! wow thanks ya'll. So here is a quick one. I want to share an NSV with ya'll. I no longer have a lily white chest, belly or back!! I am to the point that I am comfortable shirtless outside! I have been soaking up the sun baby and loving every minute of it!! I am only a tad bit cinnamon of a color as of the moment. but gees it is great!

So after getting started on this, I am resolving to get back to blogging and getting my mind back in the groove of weight loss. I am not at the weight I want to be at yet, and I need to get back to pushing again. I think I just needed a break for a minute. I worked hard for several months. I need to get back to it too!

Rest Day Blogging

I take Thursday off from exercise every week now. I reasoned out that I am very active all weekend, and I have Fridays off, so I figure if I can get recovered the day before heading into those three days, it may be best to do that. I also am resolving to blog each Thursday at minimum. I should be able to do it on Saturday and Sunday morning also, but it seems as though bloggerville is kinda dead on the weekends. I suppose most of us use readers anyway, so that shouldn't matter.

If anybody wants a sure fire way to get in shape, both cardio and strength building wise, I suggest using a rock bar to break up 2 foot deep and 2 foot wide columns of concrete with a rock bar! Holy cow, it is a good thing I have dropped weight and gotten in better shape, or this could turn into a hospital trip! haha. I suspect that by the time this summer is over, I am gonna be in pretty good shape for sure!

Wow Am I Late Or What?

I so totally suck it isn't even funny. I am like probably two days late posting. I am sorry, I just been blowin' and goin' for the past few days. I am not what I would call on target for eating, but I did lose 1.6 pounds the first week of StS!! I attribute that to the fact I never stop moving! I did do much better on my eating than I have in the recent past. I now have the habit of cutting up two apples and eating them throughout the day at work along with some almonds and carrots. Typically when I get home, if I have had 500 calories, it is amazing. I do eat a fair amount of calories when I get home, but I follow that up with either yard work for a couple of hours or working on Lauren's room for a couple of hours or just some honey do and I haven't been sitting down until 9 here lately. If I could corral my night time eating, heck I would probably be 190 in a month!! haha. I once again have been horrible by not checking blogs either. I seriously apologize folks. I should be better at this, but it is hard for me to sit down and be behind a computer or very long after doing it at work all day.

Yesterday we got a trampoline from my boss. She is by far the best boss ever! By happenstance, we were chatting about her weekend and she mentioned she had dismantled her trampoline that weekend. I told her how ours had been condemned and the neighborhood kids were so disappointed. She offered her trampoline to me, and I gladly accepted. I went to get it last night toured her lovely home and the grounds. I love the place. Her emu was not cooperative in my efforts to pet him, but he cracked me up by chasing the sheep around,appearing to herd them! I got home and ate supper and Kathy was anxious to get me to set it up, so I went out around 7:30 and got started. It was up by 8, but I had put it together in the front yard so the dogs wouldn't bother me. Not the best plan, to say the least. It is a huge trampoline and we had to do some nifty maneuvering to get it in the back yard! It is now there and I can't wait for Lauren to come home and see it! She is going to be ecstatic, as will the neighborhood kids, and the Fredricks when they come over.

Well I better get off here and get to doing my squats. I added weight to them and it has been a challenge as of late. I do love them though now that my big ol' gut doesn't get in the way, I can do them right and they hit all the right muscles! I did do planks yesterday and I can proudly say that my ab muscles are no longer the weakest ab muscle in the world!!

Oh Did That Suck!!

Pretty much from the word go yesterday, I was starving. I was eating the same foods I ate the two days before but man I was starving like ravenous all morning at work. I came home for lunch and folks, I ate everything! I can't even recall what all I ate. I righted the ship for the afternoon, but kinda fell off in the evening too. I was laying that floor and finishing it up and had a fruit by the foot snack. I suck

Today is back on track for me. No more failure days dang it!

Week 1 Day 3

First, I still suck at reading and responding other blogs! I just can't seem to find the time. I try, I do, but I start seeing the clock and realizing I have X that needs done before X time. Like right now, I did some blog reading and posting comments. I need to start my workout in 7 minutes!

I had a super awesome day 2! Calorie at 1450 and I got my morning workout in, as well has worked on laying a laminate floor in my daughter's room for about 4 hours. That it turns out is a leg workout with all the bending over and sliding the pieces together and making sure they line up properly. I am sore this morning!

I am sorry I am such a poor blog reader. I promise I will try to do better on weekends folks. I hope everyone is chugging along and knocking this challenge through the roof! I am pulling for each of you in spirit even if I can't get to your blog and comment!

Week 2, Day 2

I had a great day 1!! I was at 1250 calories by the time I went to bed. I also had a great exercise day! 1/2 hour of weight lifting, 1 1/2 miles jogged, and then I got out and pruned trees for about 45 minutes in the blazing heat! I pretty much guarantee a pretty big calorie deficit yesterday! I haven't put a calculator to it, but just in basal metabolic, I think I used up my calories taken in yesterday, which means that all my exercise calories are extra! Ok I went and got a calculator. I used 1360 calories just being awake from 5 a.m. till 10 p.m.! I have to imagine I used at least 700 calories in exercise and working outside. woo hoo!

And I do believe God gives us opportunities to learn when we need them. Our checking account is pretty sickly right now, so I was not able to go get my lunches for work like i usually do on Monday mornings. I wound up taking a couple of apples and some carrots to work to munch on throughout the day. I also had some almonds already there. I made it through the whole day eating those things and left my office with 405 calories for the day! I am going to give that a shot again today and see if that can be recreated. If it can, I am on this course of action!

I also am super excited that I used one of Deb's suggestions from awhile back. I told myself that from now on, the kitchen is closed at 8 p.m. If you haven't had it by then, then tough noogies buster! 8 is usually my danger zone, so if the kitchen is restricted during that time, well then no more danger right? Well I stuck to that and even though the urge was there when I was fixing my last glass of tea for the night, I did not give in! All in all, week 1 day 1 was a success!

I look forward to hearing about everyone elses successes as well!

Week 1 Day 1

And Slimmer for Summer has kicked off for me! I am excited. I needed this more than I care to admit! I have been pinball machining for awhile now. I need one last push to get me to goal weight and some more encouragement to get my mind right so that when I do get to my goal weight, I will have better eating habits than I am exhibiting right now.

I weighed in this morning. I have to admit, I was not surprised to see me at 14 pounds above my lowest weight. Again, I am a little confused with that because I have a lot of clothes that say different. But for me, the poundage is where I am focusing right now. I weigh 210 pounds as of this morning. By the end of this challenge,realistically, I would like to weight 195 but am shooting for 190 as my goal weight.

I have not had a chance to pop over and see everyone else's posts yet. I was busy all day yesterday with building parts of and tearing down parts of my privacy fence. I got one heck of a workout in doing that yesterday! In the 95 degree heat now less. I still have a lot to go, and I am thinking that alone should knock me down five pounds by the end of that project!

Good Luck on Day 1 Challengers!

My Slimmer for Summer Goals

So I have been gallivanting around for the last week, knowing I needed to sit down and set up my goals for this challenge. I have had thoughts and ideas but nothing I have committed to. So now I am going to post my goals here, and if I miss anything, I will do an amended post.

1. Calories per day goal- I know Deb had suggested 1200 to 1400, but I am seriously doubting this is a goal I could even try to keep. I am fairly active and that would leave me starving constantly. I am going to keep my calories more in the 1800 range per day.

2. Logging my food- I used to be so OCD about this. I bite it I write it was my motto. I have slacked on this lately and I think it really would benefit me to get back to this habit.

3. Cardio- I love running,I do. But I get bored very easily and I haven't been as religious about my running lately as I would like to be. So to insure I am getting my cardio in, I need to switch it up. I would like to sit down Sunday night and plan what cardio I want to do on what days. I am the worlds worst at keeping up a planning goal, so I may lean on you guys to hassle me into doing it until it become a habit!

4. Weight lifting- I have been doing great on this one. Three good days of lifting and one light day. I want to keep that up.

5. My Weight Goal- By the end of this challenge, I would like to weigh 190 pounds. That is my end goal weight, a weight I think I can work my plus or minus 5 pounds maintenance from. I will post tomorrow what my beginning weight is.

6. Sweets- I need to, no I HAVE to get rid of my sweets eating habit! I need to break that chain before its links get too strong!

So there you have it. Those are my slimmer for summer goals. I plan on also getting better at keeping up with blogs, and more specifically, blog of the folks in this challenge. I look forward to watching each and every one of us grow and prosper in the next 12 weeks, so let's make this happen!

One of my Slimmer for Summer goals

So I am trying to get my head wrapped around what goals I am going to lock in for Slimmer for Summer. My sweets problem takes center stage obviously, but I am not a half butt kinda guy and I know I need to fix many more things. I have decided on yet another. I need to get back into blogging regular and more importantly, blog reading regularly! I know that on my journey down the scale, so much was gleaned from reading other peoples stories, and I got so much inspiration by reading about others successes and even struggles that eventually turned into huge successes! However here is my problem. I hate to sound like this guy, but my life is crazy busy. I am not using that to get out of exercise obviously and never will. That has become a primary focus in my life lately, moreso than my diet actually. So with a busy life, that is kinda how blogging fell to the way side. I sit down around 8 or 9 at night and typically was passing out in my recliner. Well without getting into too much detail, I was not making Kathy too happy with that practice. So I have been waking up later than usual, so I can stay up later than usual. That cuts my surfing on the web while I drink coffee time down seriously, then my web surfing time at night is cut down by the fact it is summer, it stays light outside, and by dang it if I am gonna sit inside when there is work or fun to be had outside! That is the ABC's of me baby! So maybe my goal should be more like I will blog more on the weekends? I dunno. There has to be an answer. I wish I knew it!

Slimmer for Summer!

I am super excited to be a part of Deb's Slimmer for Summer Challenge. Head on over to her page. It is 12 weeks of meeting your eating and fitness goals and reporting your progress. I do love challenges. It provides me a group to be accountable to and it lets me encourage others. Much like a team. I have always been the ultimate team player and I love being part of something bigger than myself. So head on over and check it out if you get a chance. Click Deb's name above and it will take you to her page. I think she is accepting people until Sunday June 5, 2011.

Part of the challenge is obviously setting goals. I KNOW one is going to be to stop eating sweets for those 12 weeks. I have been horrible lately. I never had a sweet tooth before but now it is unstoppable it seems! I am also going to set a goal of at least 3 different kinds of cardio throughout the week too. Now my mind is rolling! I need to get over there and post these while I am good and motivated. Ya'll go on over and check it out!

Some Conflicting Data

I am getting some conflicting data quite frankly. Let me explain. I am not to weight until next monday, but I will admit that I have not been as on course eating wise as I would like. It hasn't been a shamble by any means, but with Slimmer for Summer challenge coming up, I am looking to change my evening snacking habits by way of the challenge, if that gives you any indication of where my problem area STILL lies. However, I am still active and working out a bit more strenuously with the weights and have began to concentrate on getting my core in good shape with three different types of crunches and weighted squats now. I still run on the weekends, and from 5 in the morning til 7 in the evening, I am good diet wise, it is that damn 7 o'clock mark that screws me every time! So anyway back to my conflicting data. I would think that given my malady, I would be standing still at best. Well without a weigh in, I can say this. I have a pair of shorts that I bought that are a 32 in the waist. When I bought them, I hadn't reached onderland yet, and they were snug. They fit, but I knew they were there the whole time I wore them. Now, they are a little loose in the waist. I went on a shopping trip about a month and a half ago with Kathy and while out, I bought me an Aeropostale shirt, cause I have always wanted one and there was a sale at Aeropostale. It has always fit me kinda snug when I first put it on then kinda loosened up after I wore it for a bit. I wore it yesterday and it was not snug when I first put it on. In fact, most of my shirts are starting to be a little looser on me, and they are all larges! So I can't weight to get a number on the scale but what if it hasn't gone down. Like most of us, I count on that number to define my journey. I am not sure if I could realistically be ok with a higher number even when evidence shows I am trimming up in inches. Anybody got any input on this?

The Effects of Heat and Air Conditioning

I have a question for ya'll. Does anyone else find themselves more drawn to the heat and a bit averse to the air conditioning now? I have spent the past week being cold at work and at home with the air conditioner running, and feeling perfectly fine outside when it is warm. In fact, I am perfectly content when it is 90 and humid, apart from the little sweat I get going on? I am curious if it is a side effect of weight loss or if I have just gotten all wonky and need to see a doctor.

Today is my birf-day, and I don't really care to be honest, but the one thing I am taking from this day is that it is the first in a great many years that I will not be mad at myself for letting another year go by as an extremely overweight person who is eating poorly, not exercising, and not living life to its fullest! I am blessed and love that the Lord has seen fit to let me conquer all those inadequacies, and I love that my family is going to get me for so much longer and I get to have them too!!

Crazy Shane

Crazy Shane is back! And I can honestly say that he wasn't too hard to bring back. I can walk away from food with no effort now that I am back. It just took some fire lighting. and I also forgot how much I liked the feeling of hunger. Weird I know, but it is true.

I was also thinking last night about how I love being sore. It is counter intuitive I know, but if my muscles hurt, I feel very powerful. I guess it is the knowledge that I worked them out and I can feel them now and KNOW they are there. I have been doing some pretty intensive ab and thigh workouts here lately and every time, I get pretty sore. I hurt, but like I said, knowing those muscles exist makes me feel just RAAAAAAARH!! Plus I was walking to my bedroom last night and just had a flash back of how sadly, that used to be a chore! Now I can hop, skip, leap frog, whatever I want to do to get back there and it not effect me. And the reason is simple. I was trying to ambulate a 300 pound body with 120 bodies worth of muscles. Now, the ratio has evened out! I love it!

I also spent the day wrapped up in my calories and how many I had taken in and how many I had burned for the day. I always write my calories down, but sometimes I stop and just add up how many I have taken in and figure up how many I have burned since I have been up and see physical proof that I am in a calorie deficit at the time and it makes me feel well in control quite frankly! And that is what most of us are lacking, feeling like we are in control.

That Apparently Did It

Quite frankly, I have been less that motivated for probably two months now. I keep trying to find my mojo, but it just hasn't been there. It hasn't helped that my weight was not changing significantly due to my not so great eating habits. But that scale number yesterday lit a fire! I told Kathy that "Crazy Shane" is back yesterday and she gave me the oh no look! haha. I blogged the other day about flipping that damn switch, well the not so wonderful weigh in was apparently just what I needed. Switch is flipped, determination is high, Crazy Shane is back on duty.

I am shocked at one thing. Before this particular journey, if I had seen me gain back 13 pounds, I would have called that the best reason ever to just give up and go back to enjoying food as I please. My rationalization skills are strong, they are. But this time, not so much. I seriously felt something click inside me and with the skills and habits I have gained over the last 9 months, it was not hard to figure out what I needed to do. It is not starting from square 1, it is starting from square 101. And I have learned a lesson. No matter how much I am working out, no matter how active I am being, my food intake has to be in question at all times, my body does not allow for activity apparently. It is all about the food intake.

Am I proud that I am where I am today? Nope. Am I defeated that I am where I am today? Nope. I am where I am but I am not where I am staying, and the direction I was headed is not my path. The path lies ahead of me. I will take this lesson and I will learn from it. Much like I learned from my lessons on this journey early on. This was not just a set back, it was a learning experience and a move forward with knowledge for the future. Now I know.

Lost Ground

I have not been weighing lately. I honestly have not had any reason to believe that I was in dire straights. My clothes fit me well, I am still able to do my workouts just fine, I am not in anyway exhibiting signs of the horrible number I saw this morning, but I saw it and I am on it, I will fight that number tooth and nail. 213 pounds. well out of Onderland!! But it is a short layover, and a lesson well learned in vigilance. I obviously cannot slack at all! Forward ho!

Yeah, It Rained On Me......

Back in the old days of Shane, there was no excuse miniscule enough for me to call a workout off. I could find any reason. Got a bit of a funny feeling in my calf,my hair don't look good enough for a day in the gym, a walk or anything else active, I better just make sure the TV doesn't walk away today, keep a close eye on it!! It didn't matter, I wasn't about to leave the comfort of my recliner if I could find a good reason.

Switch to May 20, 2011. I have gotten up, gotten my family up, gotten Lauren to school, and pulled up to Van Buren Park for my Friday jog. The skies look a bit ominous, but it is pretty far to the west of me it seems, so I can probably get 3 miles in real quick and beat it. So a little less than two miles in, nope, did not beat the rain!! Ok, I am coming up on the parking lot my truck is in, I could hop in and get out of here now! Yeah, I ain't gonna do that. One more lap and I get the three miles I set out for, soooo yup, see ya truck! I am so proud of the one thing that my hard headedness does for me with no negative repercussions.... haha!! I finished that run and felt awesome for it!

I woke up today and was trying to think of an alternative to just a straight out jog today. I think I am going to combine some old school with some new school. I am going to walk my butt off for two miles then jog for two miles today just for the heck of it! Something different to do and that is all. In fact, I think I will go right now!

Coffee Spilled And The Evolution Of A Day Off

So we have all had it happen. Especially us coffee drinkers, but just about all of us overweight people have had it happen with food too. The spill, the drip, the stain. And of course, that spill, that drip, that stain winds up where? On your shirt, right? Well now, the answer is WRONG! It now ends up on my pants!! I know it is silly to get excited over spilling coffee, but hey, it wound up on my pants!! Not my shirt, my pants! How cool is that?? I doubt that it is, but just in case the points in hidden here, my belly is no longer in the way of my lap, thus, my pants wind up the target in a spill. I find that to be pretty darn neat!

I will tell you the other thing I find fascinating, the evolution of what a day off with no work and no plans means to me now from what it used to mean to me. Previous to the weight loss, when I saw a day with no plans on for it coming down the pike, I would immediately think " ok, good sports watching day, get some movies lined up, spend the morning on the internet, big breakfast, fast food lunch, and prolly some pizza that night". Now, "ok, garage cleaned, weed eat the yard, get some more dog ears to replace the old ones on the privacy fence, see if I can get some more pansies to replace the drowned ones, detail Kathy's car, organize the back deck, clean out the pipe that lets water drain during rain through my drive way ditch, etc." and I get all giddy with anticipation to have work to do all day! I love it. I am also going to go for a distance jog today. I am going to get 4 miles in. I have an iPod now, with plenty of music and much more easy to operate that my old mp3 player. I think it is doable.

What are ya'lls plans for this weekend?

An Epidemic and That Damn Switch!!

It seems there has been somewhat of an epidemic here lately in the bloggers I follow. It seems we are all struggling a bit to "stay on course". I know I have not been the guy I was for 8 months. I kinda had life get in the way, had stresses galore, and thought I have only put on 3 pounds from my low, I just haven't been moving forward and eating well like I should. Not eating bad per se, but not eating well and getting on with my 190 goal. It seems many of us have kinda stalled and I was thinking about why. I think a lot of it has to do with how much energy is expended when you are being serious about getting leaner and healthier. I made it my life's goal 7 days a week for 8-9 months. It was my primary focus. I lived weight loss and healthy eating, to the extreme even. so with that being said, I guess I had a break in me. I would say that I have successfully implemented better eating habits. Even when eating more than I would like, the quality of the food was better for the most part. I am much more active now than I used to be which helped keep me from bloating back up when I was not doing so well. But the reality is that i need to push forward in my quest. I need to get to my next goal of 190 pounds.

So, I decided, it is time to "flip the switch" again. I did it on July 17,2010, with the help of the Almighty and some blogging friends, and I can do it again. So, here it is, the symbolic flipping of that switch. It is back on. I am back to me. I have a day already under my belt to build on. I had the most excellent eating day yesterday and it was even more fulfilling because I asked for it. I prayed yesterday that God be with me for both the morning, which I never really have issues with and the evening after work, which is where my eating issues crop up. and He, as always, answered by giving me some phenomenal resolve last night! So I am asking Him again today, to be with me, to guide my choices and help me edge toward my new goal of 190 pounds! I bet it works!!

Why Didn't I Think Of This Before?

Sometimes, you need to plan. It is hard to go through life and just "play it by ear" all the time. Sometimes you have to say "I am going to do this then" and then go do it and make it stick. That is how I got started on getting up early and exercising. I got up at 4 got my caffeine fix and then "just did it" Nike style. Well, lately, the getting up early has not been working for me in various areas of my life. I won't get into it, but it just hasn't made for good times. So I decided that I was going to make it a point to find a way to get my exercise in but maybe break it up into two sessions. One in the morning and one in the evening. I am out of school now and don't have that obligation at night. But even if I did, just a little commitment would take care of it. But anyway, on to the point. I decided that I was going to start getting some cardio or weight lifting at night. I want to get up a little later and stay up a little later than I have been. So yesterday morning, I lifted weights and committed myself to doing some cardio when I got home last night. I had Quorum Court, but it wrapped up fairly early last night and it was still daylight when I got home, so I grabbed my jump rope and headed to the back deck. Lauren followed me and for the next twenty minutes, we took turns seeing who could jump rope the longest and do the best trick jump roping. I won the first hands down, but the second Lauren ran away with. Then she asked to go for a jog around the block with me. I of course obliged and we took off. I taught her a lesson on pacing herself and we had a good time! I am hoping to rope Kathy into some sessions like that, so we can make getting more active a family activity and we all benefit from it. Again, why didn't I think of this before? And the unexpected benefit from the change. Not one urge to snack last night! I didn't sit down until after 8 and it was a great feeling to not once sit and think about getting up to snack! I can see the advantage to this change!

You Want A Challenge? Go To Branson To Jog!

As the title infers, we went to Branson, Missouri this weekend. My boss, the wonderful and awesome Cheryl Anderson, gave me and my family a free weekend in her condo up there. Cheryl is the greatest boss and one of the greatest people I have ever met in my ENTIRE lifetime. She is that person that you wish you could be. I am working on trying to follow her example, but seriously, she makes it difficult. I don't know if I can be as smart, benevolent, generous, compassionate, caring and talented as she is, but you know what, I have the example in front of me, I just need to learn from it.

So back to the jogging. Yeah. Branson I am pretty sure has ZERO flat spots. You are either jogging up a hill or down a hill. I got my butt kicked Saturday morning. It didn't help that Friday I also took on the hill that leads up to my office and was tired from that already. But I really got my behonkus handed to me Saturday morning. It is funny how you can DRIVE up hills and not really realize they are there. I never once realized that there were no flat spots until Saturday when I was praying for one to appear at some point about 20 minutes in!

I am thinking about retooling my workouts a little to combat some boredom I have been dealing with. I am thinking about throwing in some jump roping and some bicycling for my cardio. I am not abandoning jogging, I just have been struggling to find ways to make it work and not be boring and I am running out of realistic options to make it work in my time frame. plus I am tired of waking up so early in the morning. I am having a harder and harder time dragging my butt out of bed at 4 just to get caffeined up and ready to workout by 5.

So Kathy took a picture of me at the pool this weekend. I have over come my fear of shirtlessness in places I don't know people. it still isn't pretty, but hey, I don't know these people so who cares right? Then, she goes and puts it on Facebook! I had no idea that was where it was going when I let her take it. I just assumed it to be a me and her picture! Nope. It is out there for the world to see now! So you know what, I am going to own it. Here it is:

there you go. I did it. it was one of my goals in the beginning and it gives me something to build on. I need to improve so that I can have a shirtless picture without having a panic attack that Kathy may post it on Facebook! Challenge accepted!

Yes!! Now That Was a Good Day 1 of 1!

yeah, I knew I could do it, it was just a matter of doing it! So the second Day 1 of 1 rocked! Good food intake all day and no snacking except for one spoon of peanut butter right before bed! Suhweeet!

I have been working out with weights and doing crunches here lately. I think it is starting to show up, especially in my belly area. I can feel my abs starting to get even more strong. I added 10 more crunches than usual on the lower ab crunches, and I did two sets of the upper ab crunches and while my abs were feeling rough when I was done, I am not sore today! I am getting there! Slow but sure!

So now I am going to get all motivated and shoot for day 1 of 2!! Keep an eye out ya'll it could get interesting!

Aaaargh!!

So day 1 of 1 was phenomenal.... all the way till 9:30. I suck! I was at 1585, fell asleep in the chair, looked like a phenomenal day when snack monster hit me again. And here is the worst part. Probably would have survived, but there are hot dogs still in the fridge from the cookout we had on Saturday for my graduation. They got the best of me. I had two. So now, today is day 1 with a focus on the hours from 7 to 10. I will sit on my hands or something. I am good for most of the day, what is it about that last hour or two? dammit Jim!

So today is day 1 of 1 again. Only this time, I am gonna get the steel look on after supper. That point in time, I will pray harder, and harden my heart to the snacks. Period.

Day 1 of !

You read that right. Today is day 1 of 1. I have not been the best me I can be in the diet department. I am still good exercise wise, but I have taken to the habit of eating sweets, not eating good portions, and not being the me who got me to Onderland, but the me that has taken the train back out of Onerland. 201 is not acceptable to me. I am now taking a U-turn, and headed back. And rather than pledge some great turn around by the end of the month with some goal of weight, diet and exercise, I am pledging that TODAY, I will do the right thing in diet and exercise. My goal is to get through today doing the right thing. Not the week, not the month, TODAY! When I do that, we will see about some bigger goals, maybe like the next two days. But my goal is to get through TODAY and give myself some success to build on.

And the big day finally gets here!

Sitting on the back deck, watching the sunrise, drinking coffee and being introspective this morning. I remember all the years that I wished I had gotten an education, now I am on that road. I graduate with a bachelors degree today! I am not done, but it is a huuuuuuuge step. I have to admit, this big step has opened up worlds of opportunity for me. I never really could wrap my head around the idea of Shane as a professional, but now I am. Now I am headed to law school for an even more lucrative profession and I am excited ya'll! I am bedded abundantly and even though I am not sure I deserve it, I am extremely grateful.

I am especially excited to see my pictures this time around. I was ginormous last time, this picture should be more flattering. We shall see. I am looking forward to my get together after too. It is supposed to be a gorgeous day today and perfect for a cookout.


Ya'll have a great day and I will see ya tomorrow!

Not That I Didn't See That Coming

SWell my poor eating this past two weeks, it caught up to me in a big big way this morning. I put on 4.6 pounds folks. That sucks. But here is the good news. All the emotion is over with now! I am done done done and done. I took my last final last night. I realized something about an hour before the final. I am a guy that needs a challenge in front of me. I have to be moving forward in some aspect of my life. I was wondering what my challenge was going to be for this summer and it came to me out of the clear blue. I am going to take aim at 180 pounds with a ferocity now! I don't have law school for three more months, I don't have undergrad for the rest of my life, and I really really was headed down the scale fast, so that goal made a lot of sense! So tallyho!

I am starting off that mission with a run in the park this morning. I love when it is sunny and warm and I can just jog my path down there. I stick my earphones in, I hit the trail and just get all chilled out and calm. It really is sweet, no kiddin'. And today I have to get to gettin' to finish all the stuff on my agenda. I have to clean up the back yard, get it mowed, hopefully get the front yard mowed, though it is less critical, I am selling my last book back, going to the records office to request a copy of my final transcript be sent to law school when it is ready and do some banking. My in laws are heading this way and should be here this evening and I am ready for some yee haw city! Tomorrow is my graduation day, the day I worked so hard for all those years. I did a bit of a not like me thing last night. It so happened that I took my last test in the same building as my first class was in. My first class was American Government, and it was in the lecture hall that has those seats, you know the ones. They have the little desk thing that folds up and down. I remember being hugely embarrassed that I couldn't make it work cause I was so fat. I had to use the one for the chair next to me to write on. So I stopped by that lecture hall on the way out and sat down in one of those chairs and folded the desk up for it and sure enough, bam it fit!! So I was excited about that. I hate to admit this, but I found it hard to get myself to leave campus last night. I kept kinda moping and looking and reminiscing. I finally did get out of there, but it took longer than it should have.

Ok folks, I am off of here, and fixing to head back down south on the scale numbers. Be keeping an eye out, cause it's on like Donkey Kong!!

Squats Are Evil!

Yeah just what the heading says. I am trying to mix my workouts up a little here lately make them fresh and new to me. I added weight training back in last month and have been messing with my treadmill routine too. So yesterday, I decided to replace a good run with some squats. I did a total of 100 non weighted squats. WOW!! I am in a lot better shape than the last time I did squats, but it still has torn me up! I got deep muscles soreness in my quads, hams and glutes and can even tell a little in my lower abs! So those will be a part of my routine at least once a week now. I love a good challenge like I said. So today is gonna be interesting during the jog, cause I am hurting for realz!

I am so ready to get this school over with. Today is my last day. I did a bad bad thing yesterday. I pizza buffeted for lunch! I just keep giving in to the stress of this week and I am tired of it! Once today is over with, I am done. I am goal setting and I am achieving them. No going to law school a lard butt for me!

Never More Evident

Wow, I just can't believe I had such a struggle with my eating based solely on the stress of my upcoming finals and graduation. I just discovered, by way of contrast and comparison between a 16 hour period, how huge of a role stress can play in your resolve! I kid you not, I have been fighting a huge fight with my eating for the last 4-5 days. I had hell to pay every night when I got home trying to not snack my life away. I took my final in the hardest class I have last night, and it was literally like rock had been lifted off me. I came home and was fine! Not one uncontrollable snack urge at all! I just was happy to be. that is it, just be. I even managed to watch a movie, Unstoppable, on a weekday evening, which is not something that happens for me. It felt good too.

I picked up my honor stole yesterday from the school. It looks pretty cool if I do say so myself! I can't wait until Saturday and all the Pomp and Circumstance!! I participated in the graduation ceremony for my Associates Degree, but it was at the behest of my wife and Mom, I wasn't really into it. This time around, you can bet, I will be stoked! I don't know why I am so amped about this, but I find it cool that as an honors graduate, I get to go ahead of everyone else at graduation. I know I am ultra competitive, but c'mon, really? That makes me excited?

Oh and I discovered a new trick to make my jogging more interesting for awhile. I started jacking with the speed and incline on the treadmill instead of leaving it on uphill and one speed. I started going 1 mile an hour faster for a few minutes on little incline, then I went faster uphill than usual, etc. It was a great workout and I enjoyed trying new challenges. I am gonna keep on doing the faster thing cause it really pushed me!

Holy Crap, There Were Muscles Under There!

I had a huge discovery yesterday! It turns out, under all that fat, there were some muscles!! This is crazy!!

Seriously, I was doing some curls yesterday morning and I just happened to look down and notice that I had this round bicep poking out pretty prominently, and I had huge forearm muscles with veins. So further inspection showed that I have very nice shoulder muscles, my triceps are starting to show up even when I am at rest, and I see my pecs on top, but my man boob skin needs to shrink some more before I can brag that I have good pecs. the saggy skin kinda ruins the pecs on the bottom. Oh and the legs, wow. All I can say. I think that if I get lucky and get some good skin shrinkage, I will eventually have the flat belly I seek, but I think that will be far into the future most likely. But for now, I will take the muscles that are looking so good! I can honestly say, I never imagined that my muscles would ever be this evident! I am a stoked feller! Yeeee haaaaaawwww!!

Have Them In The House, And You Will Eat Them

So in retaliation of all the crappy snacking I did Saturday, I went to Wal Mart and over loaded on veggies and fruits. I am on a mission now. Not sure how we got all those crappy snacks around the place, but that is gonna change. Well I know how most of them got here. It was Easter candy. And after this little debacle, I am making a decree for the Griffin household. No more mass inventory of candy. The occasional little bit is ok, but that junk is the enemy of all of us, not just me. Kathy is in agreement with that, so candy=not in this house!

I have a much better attitude today too. I had cucumbers lightly spread with hummus, I had bananas, I had carrots, I steamed a couple of sprouts of broccoli and some carrots. I mean it was a veggie kind of day fo' sho' and it made me feel better not just physically but mentally.

Speaking of mentally, I am a little disappointed. I get that we all live busy lives, but I am starting to have some close friends who were all about you can count on me being there, wouldn't miss it for the world!! that are starting to drop off about coming to my graduation this Saturday and the party after it. I guess I am a little hurt by it, but I am also even more thankful for those who said they would come and are. I have folks in Texas that are heading this way and I am glad for them for sure, and I have some local family that are coming too that I haven't seen in quite some time. My mom is having her friends over too, all of whom I love dearly and will be glad to see on such a special occasion to me. I do know this one thing. I am ready for this week to be over and I also am very introspective about it too. I guess the reality has set in that I am on to the next challenge. I loved this challenge. I am a little scared. I have the undergrad life figured out and now on to graduate school and having to start from scratch figuring it out. But like I have said many times, I live for the challenge, and typically rise to the occassion.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Monday morning. If you don't mind, tell me what it was like for you when you graduated college. I suspect my perception as an old man graduating is different from that of a young person graduating, and I would be interested to know if I am right.

A Whole New Battle Now

I have never been a big fan of sweets. Not opposed to them either. I just never sought them out or gorged myself before. My weakness was always fatty meats and chips. For some odd reason, for two days now, I have been gorging myself on sweets. I mean that literally, this is not an over reaction, I have had more sweets in two days than I have since the day I started this journey. So in response to that. I am shooting for a sweet free week and, ultimately, a sweets free month of May. I cannot let that habit get set in!

And the Scale Is My Bitch!

I had only a pretty good week, and guess who still had a loss? That would be this guy here! I dropped 1.2 pounds this week down to 197! I believe I will just go ahead and have another good week dang it! That was enjoyable to see!

I am running another 5k tomorrow. This one is a little different in that it is not one with lots of corporate sponsors, or tons of people. I had asked a friend of mine to go with me to the big daddy of 5k's that is being run tomorrow in a town about an hour or so away from me. He told me he was actually participating in a local 5k that a member of my new church was having. She loves to run but has been having back problems lately and has been sidelined. I think she wants to get back in the groove of running, so she is hosting this shin dig to slowly inch back in. We are having a cookout afterwards and just hanging out in fellowship too. I don't know that I am going to stay long though. I am getting the house to myself and I am thinking I need to be studying seriously for my philosophy final and getting a draft of that essay question written. I also need to start skimming the chapters for sociology so I can find the answers I need on the final. We have had a wild set of circumstances weather wise this semester and so for this test, we are getting to use notes/books to take the test. I am good with that. I just need to have read so I know where the info being asked is.

I was so excited last night. At 8:05 p.m. I walked out of the last lecture class I will ever attend. Law school is taught with the socratic method, and quite frankly, I am excited about that. Turns out I prefer to talk and work things out rather than listen and be hand fed answers. I have often thought that it sucked to have someone else's views of the material be what you had to learn rather than having your our take on the material.

No royal wedding for me today. It is imperative that I get this yard mowed today! I may even have to rake it before all is said and done. I sure hope not dang it.

God Always Gives You What You Need At The Right Time

I wouldn't say I have been struggling like backsliding lately, but I just haven't been where I wanted to be, and my motivation was a little off. I have tried to figure out why and I have tried to power through it. I still work out 4-6 days a week, I am active, but my eating has been not like old days, but it has been less than stellar let's just say. I have tried pep talks and I have blogged openly and honestly about my struggles, and I really have gotten motivation out of both, but yesterday, God gave me what I needed to get my butt back on the wagon. It was a seemingly random experience, until I thought about it.

Kathy and I have a friend, she lives in Kathy's old hometown in Texas, and she had made a comment on Facebook, I had gotten involved in the comment thread and while on it one time, I saw on the left she had a photo album named family, so just to goof off a bit, I clicked on it, was scrolling through the pictures, and then I saw "it". I have a whole bunch of pictures of me being fat. Most I am not proud of. But this picture in her album of me, well it seemed to speak to me. It shocked me. I honestly and truly couldn't believe a) that it was me and b) how it perfectly characterized me at that weight. Here it is:

I mean I had a wow moment. This picture put me on the floor. That facial expression just does it for me. I seriously felt how I look in that picture. I was always tired, felt a little off all the time, and felt like I was the least attractive person ever. This picture, even more so than my Silver Dollar City picture, has left me with a feeling of "seriously? you let yourself get there?" mind set and it also has me feeling very grateful to my God for leading me to the right set of circumstances to lead me away from there too. So though this week has been good, I plan on making it even better, and following up with even better weeks to come. I can not, will not let myself get back there over a little stress and a return to old eating habits. I refer you to the name of my blog. It is for that reason, for my family's future well being, that that picture can never ever leave my mind.

Graduation Approaches

I know this is a weight loss blog, but it is also MY blog, so I get to post what I want! Haha. I posted the following on my Facebook page and felt it so strongly that I stole it for my blog post too:

I am shocked that I got a jump on studying for my finals last night. I didn't even plan on doing it, but hey. I have to formulate an answer to an essay question for Philosophy of Religion still, but that shouldn't take too long. I also need to read two chapter for Social Psychology. I was just thinking of all the times over the past 4 years I would look at the new degree plan my advisor had given me with what classes I had taken checked off and what classes I needed still on it, and thought to myself "gees, will I ever finish all this?" Well, I am one week and one day from doing exactly that, finishing all that. It is pretty exciting. I think my senioritis has even subsided a good deal. I was also looking at my graduation picture from when I received my Associates Degree in 2009, and it is exciting to me that when I get this graduation picture taken, I will be at least 100 pounds lighter than last time. I have said it before and I will keep saying it, God blesses me mightily, and more than I deserve.

End facebook post/

So yesterday was not as good as I would have liked eating wise but it was phenomenal exercise wise. I got thrown off by a habit I have formed that I am going to be in class till 8 or later, so for lunch, I go have a small something at Wendy's. Usually spicy nuggets. I usually study for the hour and go back up and get refills on my soda. Well yesterday I wanted to lose the hassle of having to go to the counter and ask for a refill, so I went to Burger King instead and ordered their spicy chicken sandwich and a soda. WEll I assumed the spicy chicken sandwich would be more calories that the nuggets, but not significantly more. Wrong!! it was 460 calories, which is 245 more than the 5 piece nuggets at Wendy's!! crap! So that was not a situation that I couldn't remedy, but I then was hungry before class, so I ate one of my 140 lunches of one half a sandwich flat and a package of lunch meat before I left, and then had supper when I got home. Again, probably right about where I wanted to be, except! Yeah my evening snacking got a little crazy once again. Had my yogurt, and should have stopped, but didn't. Had my banana with peanut butter, should have stopped, but didn't. I went and got another small but not tiny piece of meatloaf, and then Kathy brought out the Reeses Pieces I bought her for Easter, and I had 7 of those. I was basically out of control last night and I have to have to have to figure this night snacking thing out. Luckily, I am almost done with school, and that lunch thing will handle itself, but this night snacking has got to stop and I mean NOW!

It is my plan that tonight, the second I get home, I am going to get my log out and write down my yogurt, and one other snack and then I am going to blot out the rest of the page with my pen. I will leave no space to write anything else, and that will be that. Uh huh, yeah that is right. Planning, don't fail me now!

Day 1 Back On Track

So Day 1 of being back in the saddle was overall good, but I did tail off last night at the end. Still a residual effect of being off the wagon I am guessing. I was at 470 calories at 5 when I got off work, had supper and a snack that put me at 1600 calories. I then snacked a little more after that and wish that I hadn't. I will be taking care of that today though. I will not snack past 1800 calories and that is that. I did a new thing that worked yesterday. I eat the same thing everyday for breakfast and work, just some quantities vary. I wrote down my intake of food and its calorie count in my notebook I use for tracking at home before I left. I literally ate only that stuff all day! I am gonna try that again today. I liked it. I maybe should try that for my evening snacking rather than leaving it open ended? See, blogging is a life saver. I just figured that out while typing!

Work out time! See ya'll later!