Going Small/ Less Than Perfect, And Being OK With It

I stand by my assertion that most of us overweight folks have some kind of inability to go small or go home or to accept less than what we perceive as perfection from ourselves. One deviation from "the master plan" and we are derailed. And Lord forbid we make one small change to our lifestyle rather than a complete overhaul all at once. I am starting my second week of P90X3. It frustrates me to no end that I am not as good as the guys on the tv. If they can do a 60 second routine of Warrior Squat Moons, why can't I!!?? I have also been frustrated about my ability to eat better up until evenings. If I can go all day doing well, what the heck is up with my evening snacking? It should just continue!!

You know what? I am ok. As Tony says, if you ain't getting it right, you are at least getting it righter than the guy you know who is smoking cigarettes and eating cheetos on his couch right now. You are there and you are moving! I ain't going big on workouts, but I am getting a half hour of huffing and puffing in, and to be honest, some of the stuff I am better at it than I thought I would be. I can plank then open up to half moon on both sides for the full time required. I can do plyo crawly pushups. I can do the side laying punch. I think that recognizing those things are important so I can feel accomplished presently. I also am thinking that not being able to do some of the stuff is a secret blessing, saving those successes for later, so I can continue progressing and feeling good about reaching my goals.

As for the snacking, I am happy to share some good news on that front. All habits start out as the first time doing it. I am on the fourth time of only having a handful of almonds after supper!!! Last night, I almost "forgot" to have those!! But it all started with my decision to not just cut out snacks, setting myself up for failure, but to be intentional in planning both my snack and the amount I would have and how often. Hello going small first!!

Blessed to Excess

I know it has been awhile since I put anything up. And historically that would mean I am flailing and hiding because of it. Not so much this time. I have have a series of events that have led me to feel like the most blessed man in the world. First, my Chief Deputy Prosecutor, Robert, started me going to the gym during lunch regularly a little over a month ago. We made it at least 3 times a week. Secondly, one of the men in my life group from church is an IT guy and he bought P90X3 and gave me a copy of it!! I started this past Monday and have been enjoying it for the most part. I got put in my place today with the yoga workout, but it will come to me, I am sure of it!!

But my most favorite blessing is that the shirt I spoke of before, the one I am aiming to be able to fit into for my first goal, almost fits!! I think another two weeks and I may be golden!!

But to balance out the enthusiasm, I am still struggling with quantity of snacking at night. Quality is much better, but quantity is still higher than I would like. I have been eating almonds and carrots and hummus, which I am sure beats the PBJ, the cereal, and whatever ice cream my wife brought home. But still, that has to be dialed down or else I may just as well be eating those things!!!

That Monkey That Won't Hop Off My Back

Despite all rah rah and actual good I am doing on this journey lately, I still have the evening snacking monkey on my back. Reality is that I snack more healthily than in days past, but the amount of times I snack at night need to stop! So that I can keep putting a face on my enemy, I am talking about it once again. I had a sentence typed out that said I was thinking about starting this battle tonight, Friday night and 3 day weekend be danged!!! I am following my own advice and saying I AM STARTING THIS BATTLE TONIGHT, FRIDAY NIGHT AND 3 DAY WEEKEND BE DANGED! I have no reason to be eating anything but one evening snack, and even if they are more healthy. Too many carrots and hummus lose their health benefits, too many apples keep my blood sugar up. Pick on snack and let it go Shane!!

My Bad

Ever have that day when you are just feeling like busting out? One of the things I decided a couple of weeks ago was to just walk for now, so I could consistently work out day to day with no soreness or knee pain. So I have actually spread cardio out between the stationary bike, this machine that is not an elliptical but kinda looks like it, and then walking on the treadmill. It started yesterday. I was on the treadmill and it was all I could do to not break out in a run. I made myself be good, and just did a nice brisk walk. But today, I just couldn't keep the leash on. So I broke out in a nice jog. It was only at 4.5 mph and I only jogged a combined 18 1/2 minutes of the 30 minutes, but man! But the best part was I thought I had hit the wall at about 6 minutes left so I was just going to walk it out. I happened to be looking at the how many miles mark at about 1 1/2 minutes mark and saw that I was at like 1.86 miles I think. I decided I was a wuss if I didn't shoot for 2 miles. I turned it up to 5 mph real quick to try to make up that mileage. I honestly don't recall how long it has been since I felt so free. I was running with good form and it felt so good to just BUST OUT!!

The one thing I have always held onto despite my weight gain is my desire to run distances. There is just no feeling like it when you get a good run in! I am going to go back to being good and walking biking or whatever that machine is for now. But I would be shocked if another bust out day shows up in the near future.......

Perspectives

Sorry for the two posts in one day.

So today I was at the gym getting my sweat on, and I saw me in the mirror. Typically this is a bad experience for my psyche. I generally think "man, how did I fall from the pinnacle to this?" Today, it was different. I don't know why, but I just felt different. So when I got back from the gym, I found the two pictures you see above on Facebook. In one, I am in the best shape I have ever been in my whole adult life (presuming we don't count teenage/early 20s) and in the other, I am the guy who backslid from not being the fattest guy in the room usually.

But that is not what I see anymore. As of today, I see where I am, and where I am headed. I am not ashamed of where I am. It just means I get to get better! for the first time in a long time, it doesn't pain me to look at a 2011 picture of me. In fact, it encourages me. To the rest of us who have backslid, it ain't nothing. It just gives you an opportunity to be successful twice in weight loss and then prove you can be successful again in maintenance!

Badges of Honor

Yesterday's workout is settling in this morning. That half hour on the bike pedaling like mad? Got my thighs and abs and obliques hurtin'!! That chest workout with a new lift added at the end? Got my chest screamin'! Those to me are badges of honor. Do I actually like being sore? I don't know, I think I kinda do. In my line of work, I am chasing evidence down to make sure a case is solid (I actually don't go do it, I have the police do it. But you get the picture.) I want to be able to tell a jury, see, look at this fact, and this piece of evidence. How can you not see that he did this crime??

Every day that I wake up sore, stiff, and taking a bit longer to wake up, that is evidence. It is evidence that I chose change. I got off my couch/recliner/office chair and went and created a calorie deficit, and pushed my muscles to a point that they began to burn sugar for energy rather than using oxygen. It means that today or within the next few days, I will have bigger muscles that burn more fat even if I am just sitting still. It means that next week, based on my continuing to workout consistently, I will be in even better shape than I am today. Soreness is a sign of forward progress. While your attitude may initially be that it hurts and hurt sucks, if you are more forward thinking, it is a badge of honor. It is your proof that change is coming if you keep up.

Seriously?

I went to the gym for lunch today. It was a small miracle that I did really. One of my usual cohorts is out taking his son to college today and the other just decided it was a half day kind of day. So I debated about the idea of just not going. Then I tabled that debate, got my damn gym clothes on, and went! But the bigger story here isn't about my going. It is about my leaving.

I don't mess around when I decide to work out. It just isn't in me to chit chat and spend a few minutes between sets or even between lifts. I go in, do my cardio, walk straight to the weight room, and begin lifting. I doubt there is ever a straight 30 seconds of me not lifting unless it takes me longer to load a bar up with weight. So anyway, the point to this is. I did my workout that has been leaving me dying as I walk out the door. I was not dying as I walked out the door! I was tired, but I didn't take the usual 5 minutes to make sure I wasn't going to pass out while driving!!! I honestly feel like the biggest stud in the world! Seriously folks. Commit to 7 days. Heck commit to 4 days if 7 scares you. I promise you that once you get to that point that you just go do it instead of thinking you should go do it, it is a game changer! I seriously don't remember walking with this much swagger in quite a while. My head is up, my eyes are looking ahead, and I am marching into a a new success story that has a happy ending!