I have decided that if I am going into maintenance mode, I need to switch my weigh ins to weekly, so that I can stay on top of the situation in the event I need to figure out what I ate that week to either gain or lose more weight and adjust on the fly. I weighed in this morning and my gain from last week has disappeared and I am back to status quo. That suits me for now. Like I said, I just want to hold the line for now until I can get my hypothetical plate a little less full. It does seem to me that even though it was just a couple of days ago I decided to do maintenance mode, it has taken a huge weight off my shoulders to have one less thing to really focus on and put tons of energy in to. Which brings me to a sad but true point. My mom is severely pissed at me right now. Not even really sure why. I could type the story here but it would take forever and just leave even more people in this world confused, so why bother? Long story short, my mom believe I am just a disrespectful, ungrateful and unloving son who only wants things from her and never gives back. So she has told me she doesn't want to have any contact with me, at least for now, and that our communications are closed. She has gone so far as to de-friend me on facebook. Now here is the sad part. I spend a great deal of energy trying to figure out how I can get by and visit with her and keep her happy while still keeping my schedule up and leaving SOME time for me during the week. The real problem is that it is not enjoyable to go visit her. It isn't torture, but we have the same conversations all the time, we never go anywhere or do anything, it is strictly at her house, and like I said, I get to hear that I have terrible political views, that she can't believe how uninformed I am, that she has the old aches and pains, she usually comes up with something new to tell me about her aches and pains, and usually some family member has done her wrong, and often that family member is me. Oh and her work is really wearing her out. She works from home and it has been hectic at times I know, but on a slow day of brokering, she is free to go lay in the bed and watch tv, sooooo. Anyway, the sad part about all this is that I feel kinda good to at least get a break from having to figure out how I can spend time with her. I have been really really concentrating on it hard since she got very upset with me about it late last year and I realized she was right, I was not getting to spend enough time with her at all. So I have made it a point to go down at least one morning of the weekend and hang out with her for an hour or so, and I always go down to help her when she needs technical assistance with stuff or needs me to go get something from the store for her. I am not that bad of a son I don't think. I don't think she realized how many commitments I have is the problem and I have always made good grades but she doesn't get that it isn't easy to go to school, work full time and have an active role in county government, on top of being a family man. I seriously just don't have a ton of time to just go down and have the same conversation, usually negative. But I do it. I just want to make sure she is happy. Now that I get a break from that, I feel bad to be thinking I am getting a little of my time back and it makes me a little happy. Anybody have any thoughts on this?
Your mother sounds like my mother in law, who died just recently. My mother in law was impossible to please, very critical, and very limited in terms of where she was comfortable. My opinion is, do what you think is reasonable, and don't try to please other people, because most of the time, you can't.
ReplyDeleteFunny, I hear that a lot about older people. I wonder if they just get depressed or fed up with life and take it out on those they love without realizing it. She may not be wanting to talk with you but I still recommend you make somewhat of an effort with her. Even if it's just a card in the mail every month telling her you're thinking of her or something like that. No matter how mad she seems to be at you, any mother would love that. I hope it all works out.
ReplyDeleteWish you well in the 5K tomorrow! :-)
I've noticed with people in my life, as they age, their life becomes more focused on them unless they are truly involved with others. Your mom sounds like she leads a very solitary life so it's all about her. She most likely doesn't see or know all you have going on. I say she's your mom, your only one so go spend that hour or so a week with her and maybe try to hijack the conversation with positive things and share your life with her. Tell her about your struggles, share with her. She wants to be a part of your life.
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