Day 171 A Look And A Realization, Others That See You

I have to admit, 2011 has so far been a very active year for me. Yesterday I walked 4 miles when I left with the intention of walking 2 miles, I danced the night away with Kathy last night, I got the Wii Fit and balance board out and got a heck of a workout this morning, and we bowled this afternoon. I, quite frankly, and tired, sore, worn out, and satisfied as can be! One of the things I wanted to try to do this year is to vary my activity, the times that I am active and to use some of the "I am gonna get fit this time" purchases I have made in the past. I want some new stuff too, but I refuse to buy it till the old stuff gets used and used significantly!!! Thus my trip to Wal Mart this morning to buy batteries for the balance board. Glad I did too, because it helped me get a different workout that I usually get on Sunday mornings, or ever for that matter. I really can feel the difference in this mornings workout and my usual walking workout and I like it!

Now, about the trip to Wal Mart this morning, I had a bit of an eye opening experience. I took off early in the morning on a whim, so I didn't go dressed like I normally do. I was in an old pair of sweats, a Return of the Jedi tshirt, and had worn my old camoflage hunting jacket from years ago. When I got to the store, I had to pee real bad as I had already started on my water for the day. So I headed to the restroom and when I walked in, I was surprised "to see someone else in there unexpectedly". Well actually, that someone else was my reflection in the mirror upon closer inspection, and it was wild!!! I guess just the fact that I wasn't in my usual jeans, polo, and leather jacket made me see myself as a different person. And I will be honest, the first thing I noticed was that I saw that "other person" as a thin person. I can honestly say that for the first time, even if for a second, I saw myself as truly thin. Not really thin, but not the overly obese man I was in the beginning. I know we have all mentioned at some point that we KNOW we have lost weight, but our mind's eye can't quite comprehend it, even with mirror or clothing evidence. It seemed to me that the split second confusion kinda opened my mind a little bit to the idea that I am thinner. I guess maybe having defined myself as a fat person for so long may be losing its grip on me... I dunno, I think I will ponder it more before I decide that. However, it does bring me to another related point. Almost all my family and friends have been so nice and happy for me and what i have accomplished weight wise, but I have noticed that some, while giving what seems like a compliment, may be exposing their real feelings or at least the fact that they too have a hard time imagining me as anything other than a fat person. I have heard on more than one occasion over the holiday season that "you just don't look like you" and other variations of the same theme. Apparently, their definition of me is as that fat, out of shape guy they have always known, and the thin, considerably more active and in shape guy I am now bothers them. Unfortunately, even though that kind of makes me angry, I can't get too mad, since I share that affliction pretty much. I think one of the issues is the fact that I have lost weight so quickly, even if that was unintended. Maybe had I gone the two pounds a week route, myself and the others who have issues with the change would be more able to accept the gradual change rather than the drastic. Whatever, I plan on keeping in keeping on, and what ever may come at me, I will keep on being the "New Shane" and loving every second of the journey there as well as when I get there!!