Day 201 Reminiscing About the Aweseomness of Day 200!

I don't know what the weather was like in ya'lls necks of the woods, but yesterday was a gift from God in Arkansas. It was easily the most beautiful day of 2011 in Arkansas, aesthetically anyway. So the family and I had it on our hearts when we KNEW it was going to be like that to go on a hike in Devil's Den State Park. We love this place. It is full of nature's wonders and if there is evidence that there is a God that is incontravertable, I would say this is it. So rather than bore you with my words, I will show you a photographic depiction of our day. I hope you enjoy it.

here is my new favorite picture of us. This is the overlook on Yellow Rock Trail. The pictures don't do it justice, and if we had a better camera, it may help. But it is rewarding to hike up to the top of the mountain, and the pay off of a gorgeous view is awesome every time!

This is a great picture. Lauren had not taken this hike with Kathy and I yet, this is her expression the first time she saw the overlook. See, not only is the hike itself rewarding, but the look on a child's face when they see the wonders that nature has to offer in person rather than on tv or on a web page, it is so great to be there when it happens.

Here are Lauren and I sitting on the edge of the overlook. Kathy is not a fan of sitting on the edge for some reason, so she took the picture instead... haha. Lauren and I are dorks. Where we were sitting at in this picture, the top of a very tall tree is about 3 feet down and to the left. There was a slight breeze yesterday and the top of that tree was swaying back and forth. We kept waving hi back to it when it would do that! It was dorky fun!

I like this picture just because I find that view beautiful. God's work right there.

Here is the Overlook Kathy and I have been seeing on the trail map since last year that we were not entirely sure how to get to. We finally set out to find it yesterday ( to be read, we kinda got a little lost at first and stumbled upon it while looking for it) and let me tell you, it was worth the walk! Kathy was kinda mad when she found out you can drive to it though.. haha.

remember I was open about me being a dork? well here is more proof. Lauren and I are pretending to hold up the mountain here, you know saving all the other hikers from falling and all. It is tiring work people!

So after 4 miles of hard hiking and some goofing off along the way, we was HONGRY hikers. Kathy had made a wonderful chicken salad for us to eat, and thank goodness, cause we were miles from any other food and I don't think any of us were ready to wait for a meal! I have to say, as much fun as we have had over the last few years going to amusement parks and plays and etc., the best and cheapest fun seems to be us packing up a lunch, heading out for a trail and just spending the day with each other enjoying nature and all its beauty. I am so thankful that my girls love it as much as I do. Especially Lauren. She started talking yesterday about how she loves these kinds of weekends and how when she has kids, she is going to make sure that this is an experience that they get too. I was floored by my 9 year old talking about her kids, but basically, I was excited to know that she was not just playing along nicely with her Mom and me, but she does enjoy these outings and that she loves the outdoors.

We apparently have another nice day coming today, although slightly cooler. It looks like I get to be mechanic Shane today and get the oil changed in Kathy's car. Then I get to be home improvement Shane this afternoon. We are buying a vanity for Lauren's bathroom. The poor girl has literally no storage. I have made this storage issue a priority because she is 9, and quite frankly, some things that are coming up, I choose to remain ignorant about to the best of my ability. So, that is what I have planned for today. What ya'll got?

Day 200!!!! Nuff Said!!!

And here is Shane on Day 199 after one heck of a satisfying run in Van Buren Park:

I ran right at, maybe a little under 2 miles, and it was so great! I hate to admit this but one of the most appealing parts of my run was the fact that I wasn't the only one on the circular trail, and I kept meeting the same people over and over that were walking and I was jogging! I like being "that guy" that I used to get aggravated with! It is silly I know, but I take the victories where I can!

Today is day 200 and I am so excited! God is great and has granted me a wonderful set of circumstances for a bench mark day! It has been unusually cold this winter for Arkansas, and we ain't used to that business! I have mainly been in the house working on the treadmill, which is ok, but again, I like being outside as much as possible. Well we happen to have an Indian Summer going on right now. Guess who is going to Devil's Den State Park for some hiking and picnicking with Kathy and my friend Bobbie! We have been trying to get together since before Christmas and finally are doing it. I plan on having a great day, getting some good exercise, and spending time with my family and friends for Day 200 LIVING LIFE! That is what this is all about folks, living life instead of watching others do it on TV!

Everybody, have a great day and I will see ya'll tomorrow!

Day 196-199 Weigh In and The Problem With People

First, I would like to re-introduce myself. My name is Shane... haha. I have to tell you, this week has been nutso! I am glad I got my new lifestyle habits created long before this week or I could be in jeopardy of backsliding! But, truth be told, I have stuck to my guns and kept right on track the whole week. I will say that I have seriously and truly missed blogging and commenting on ya'lls blogs more than I could have ever thought possible! I am feeling sense of relief as I type this and I am being sincere when I say that. Blogging has been an important tool for me along this road and I have come to love it. I love the exchanges of ideas in our community, I love the camaraderie, I love ya'll! And I am truly sorry and upset that I have not had the time to visit and comment on ya'lls blogs lately. I am working on trying to figure out a way to put aside more time for that. I don't know how yet, but I am working on it.

Now on to the good news. I weighed in this morning and there are 4 more pounds less of Shane! I weighed in at 205 pounds! That definitely puts me within striking distance of below 200 by the end of February! I won't lie, I do miss those days of losing 8 pounds every two weeks now more than ever! haha. But it is what it is and I have vowed to focus on my exercise over the next two weeks. It is my goal, God willing, to stake my flag in One-derland by February 25, 2011!

I was doing some thinking the other day about some exchanges I have had with some people over the past few months or so with various people I have contact with. As I am sure we all have experienced, people love to talk to me about losing weight, how they are so ready to be me, really are inspired by my progress, hey your plan sounds easy, I think I will give it a try. You know the basics. But here is the thing about Americans today. We no longer have a drive to achieve what we want, we think we are entitled. For example, if you look back in history, the "American Dream" was chased after by folks who devoted their life and their energies to developing innovative and creative ideas, marketing them, and making money, and lots of it. We led the world in innovations. The legend of America grew and grew and the world came to dream of the possibilities in America. However, you have heard that most people love to eat steak, but they don't want to hear about the way it got to their plate? Same thing has happened to Americans. I want to have "X", but I don't really want to put the effort into getting it. I just hope it happens by and I can grab it basically. I can talk about those people cause I was one of them for years! I wanted to be in a more fulfilling job, I wanted more money, I wanted to be thinner, I wanted a happy marriage. But I didn't really want to step out of my comfort zone to get them. Life is about chasing what you want though. A select few may have manifest destiny on their side, but the rest of us, well we have to go get it folks! I wanted a better job, I bucked up and went to school! I want more money, I have taken the steps to put me in position to go to law school, I hope to do well and get some good offers, and I will then likely triple or better my pay. I wanted a good marriage, I became more flexible in my relationships, and I lucked out and found Kathy, who by the Grace of God was willing to marry me and make me the happiest man in the world! I wanted to be thinner, so I started this little blog up, started watching my food intake, started increasing my activity levels, and voila! My dreams are beginning to become realities! But again, that is only because I have been proactive (and quite frankly, God has done some wonderful things for me as well, giving me the motivation to do well being one of those things)and made it happen. And I wonder something. In this age of shortcuts and I don't really want to put the effort out, if someone developed a pill that would guarantee that you would reach your ideal weight in a short amount of time and even further, would guarantee that you would remain that ideal weight no matter if you ate ice cream daily the rest of your life and never stood up off the couch, BUT it is known that it will shorten your life by 10-15 years, how many people would say, eh it is worth it? I truly believe in this day and age of give it to me now, a vast majority would be short sighted enough to take it! What do ya'll think?

Day 195 Living In the Mind Versus Living In the Body and Mind

As I was working out one day this weekend, I was thinking about some yoga stuff I heard that basically says that you have to have your mind and body work together. You are a combination of the two. I believe that to be true but on a different platform. God gave you both a body and a mind. I kinda think of the mind as your soul, it is who you are, who you choose to be,etc. And so many of us overweight people tend to live only in the mind. That is where we draw our pleasure from eating, or how we quell inner conflict by eating. Truth be told, our bodies gain nothing good from our over eating, it is our minds. I think that if you continue to do that disservice to yourself, it is not only bad for you, but it is kinda thumbing your nose at God's gift to you. Your body is the temple for your soul. You have at least a marginal obligation to "keep your house clean" in my opinion. And to be completely honest, I think that operating from a clean temple makes life so much better. I find myself more and more often in a better state of mind, a better understanding of life and in a better relationship with God, all of which I concentrate on while doing my workouts. A good brisk walk, or a decent day of jogging or a hike on a wooded trail, all these things make me happier and in my mind, smarter and more spiritual. I love when I feel my body working like it is supposed to, my legs in perfect stride, my arms pumping away during a good jog, or my muscles getting tired during a weight workout. The body us amazing. Take a second to appreciate yours during a good workout. Start strengthening your mind/body connection. It really is rewarding.

Day 193 and 194 A Butt Kicking And Inane Rambling

I got busy yesterday and then got home late from an outing with the Hunters. I also meant to blog this morning to make up for that missed day, but I got up at 6 as opposed to 4 a.m., and I decided to get coffee in me and my workout done before I goofed off and didn't do it. Ok, that was likely not gonna happen, but it was just panic mode for me. The reason I was a little worried is because I woke up incredibly sore! You may remember I talked about stepping up to the "performance workout" section of the pre programmed treadmill workouts on Friday. I was true to my word, and I did fire it up. I was on the first one, which logically should be the easiest i think. Holy Crap Folks!!! That was not even funny! I got 13 minutes in and I was gassed, not a chance of finishing! At some point, I was running on the 10% grade and at 5.5 miles an hour, and it turns out, I just am not there yet. I now have a new obsession, which should carry me for a few more months I promise you that. So, I did stop that workout, but I didn't give up on the workout session. I took the incline down to 3 and I jogged the remaining 17 minutes at 5 mph. I also realized something about me I had not thought about until this session. I have had a shift in the paradigm of Shane Griffin. I so often was the guy that wanted to get up and get started getting active, but I could think of just about any reason to not do it. Sometimes, no reason at all other than I didn't want to. So, when I was suffering from my butt kicking, I decided I was gonna just get on, jog out 11 minutes, walk out the remaining 6 and call it a good day. Well as neared 11 minutes, I decided that I was going to push on out to 13 minutes jogging. When I got into the twelve range, I thought well heck, why not just do 15 minutes and be happy. So as I got close to 15, well you probably can guess. I said yeah finish the whole 17 joggin Shane, it is close enough to it, it ain't gonna hurt nothing. Really? And then it dawned on me how many times I had done that over the last few months. I would set out to walk a mile, go mile and and half because I was out there already, was warm, and had nothing better to do. I would be a half mile from 5 miles for the day so I would go out and do a mile and half in a third session. I am willing to do more rather than less. Heck, I expect myself to do more rather than less now. Not even in terms of exercise really. I have spent many weekend mornings lounging around, watching tv, web surfing, only getting up for coffee or cooking. i have spent full weekends watching tv and movies. I just can't do that anymore. I usually give myself the first hour of the day for it, but after that, I have a mental list of stuff I want to do or I sometimes even find stuff to do! I am really really looking forward to the warm weather coming back. I am just going nuts to go hiking again. Oh now I am all antsy, see what I did.

Speaking of finding things to do , I fixed my couch today! There has been a weird sag in the middle for a while now, so I investigated today and found a broken strut. it was an easy fix, I just ran a screw into the strut thru the frame and voila, it is fixed! I was looking at maybe replacing the couch, but that saves money. A screw is cheaper than a couch any day! That is one of those things I would have put off for months before, so weeks is actually a step up. haha.

Oh and I earned myself some football time today with my help around the house and fixing the couch and hanging pictures. I am watching the end of the Chicago-Green Bay game right now, and the Bears are trying to stay in it. I am not sure how good of a chance they have right now. I am rooting JETS today for the second game! Should be interesting game! Well I am gonna go give puppy dog eyes to Kathy and see if I can get some supper cooked. I am hongry! not hungry, HONGRY! Oh that was one more thing I was gonna talk about. I wish I could figure out what the difference is in the days I am starving a little all day, I am starving all day, and the days I am not hardly hungry at all. I mean I eat pretty consistently the same food, or at least very similar. Today, before just figuring out was HONGRY, I have had 500 calories ( it is 5:00). I have eaten a little here and there, but not been hungry all day. I even walked 5 miles this morning before ever eating anything, and even then, wasn't hungry. I need to bottle that stuff up! haha. Ok, I am off to finish my football afternoon, so ya'll have a great Sunday evening!

Day 192 I Won't Go Back, I Stand With His Backing

I have not seen this discussed on other blogs that I can think of, so I am gonna cover it here, and I welcome all comments. There are a few in this community that are considered successes. Some think of me as being well along this road and having done well for myself. I would like to say thank you so much to those people and let them know, they have been a big huge part of that. But, I have a dirty little secret. Okay not dirty but it is still a secret. Not often, but sometimes, and at random times, I worry that this trip, this journey, this version 4.0 or whatever number I am on, will end like the rest. I will get to where I was aiming for, decide that I am the man, and lose vigilance, slowly at first maybe, but sink right back into the poor eating and no exercising habits that got me here today. Sometimes it is a fleeting thought, sometimes it holds my attention for a few minutes. But it is still a fear.

So a little history on this version of my journey. It came about in a special way, so I believe it is a permanent change in lifestyle I am enjoying. I was languishing in the fact that I knew I was fat, knew I was doing terrible things to my health and knew that I was destined for an early exit to this world if I didn't get my head right. Not that I didn't know that for all the other years previous, but this time, there was a new wrinkle. I had a family now. Marrying Kathy made my life so much more complete, and I thank God for her. But I was being irresponsible in my duty as a husband. For any new folks out there, I am on a mission. Got started a little late in life, but I am currently in my last semester in undergrad school, getting my Bachelor's Degree in May, and with God's Will I am going to law school in August. I do all this because my family deserves a better life than i am giving them right now. It is in that premise that this journey to weight loss and change of lifestyle was born. I sat around days and nights worrying, what if I passed away before I was able to get Lauren to college and into a good career or before I had provided a comfortable retirement for Kathy. I worried that I would just get started on giving them a good life and then leave them high and dry. Queue the power of prayer. I had tried a few times before to get a roll going, dropped 10 or 20 pounds here and there, gained it all back, not gotten any traction. I was getting frustrated. I just needed to find that one thing, that one set of circumstances that get me going, to make me motivated enough to see that this was not as hard as I was making it be. So, I asked God, please, show me the way. For the sake of my family, please put it in my heart, give me the determination and the wisdom and the strength to do what is right for my family. And you know what, "ask and ye shall receive" is not bunk people! He did exactly that. He put the link to Sean Anderson's blog in my path. I was in charge of email monitoring in my old firm. I checked our email addresses multiple times a day, one of which was on AOL. I always had to navigate past the front page of AOL to get to the mail tab. AOL usually features some news stories and human interest stories on that page and typically I would see them just long enough for the page to change to the e mail page. the stories scroll, so it could be I would catch two of the five stories they are featuring before I got to the e mail screen. So, that day, they happened to be running the story about Sean having lost a great deal of weight, but never having eaten a salad. I actually let it go on by, but that title stuck in my head. After getting the e mail checking done and getting some other work that was pressing finished, I found myself in a lull. So I went back, read the article. I was drawn in. It talked about how he had blogged and his strategy and several other aspects of his weight loss. I clicked on his blog link, and history was made. I read a few days worth of posts there at work, then sent myself the link at home, and i spent that whole evening reading about Sean's journey. It was eye opening and eye popping at the same time. I felt the movement in my heart that night. I knew this was what was going to happen for me! God had answered my prayers! I knew it immediately.

I started my journey the next Sunday, July 17, 2010. I am where I am today because of His Grace and His Glory. I will shout that from the mountain tops and stand on His Word that I am not going back. He answered my prayers, He put me on this road, and He will keep me strong. I will not be returning to my old ways. I trust His gift, I love His gift to me, and I will fight for it like a lion!

Do ya'll have a similar story to share? I would love to hear it in comments or in an email. Let me know about how you got started, and how you feel about your fears of possibly failing.

Day 191 A Guy's Issue, Over Versus Under

So I am pretty sure this is an issue only guys face. Well specifically fat guys I guess. The belt. Over the belly flap? Under the belly flap? I actually have seen multiple cases of both in my years. I was an under guy, even when I started having to tuck in my shirt when I got my job at the old law firm. I don't know that one is necessarily better than the other. You aren't hiding it when you go over, not really over accentuating by going under unless you don't tuck your shirt in and the flap is longer than your shirt. That was my biggest issue in clothes shopping. I had to buy t-shirts long enough to cover the flap up. I was that guy you always saw tugging at the bottom of his shirt to make sure it didn't ride up and people saw my "meat" as it was called one time when I was not vigilant enough.

Soooo, guess what. THIS IS NO LONGER AN ISSUE THAT FACES SHANE! I have noticed in the last week or so I am firming up in the belly area so much so that I can see my belt buckle when I tuck my shirt!! How cool am I??? On a related note, I have discovered that jogging is a great ab workout. It took me a minute to figure out how it was that my abs were getting so sore from jogging. I figured it out. Running is not walking. It is essentially you jumping from one foot to the next over and over, and when I do that, I have to twist in the middle. Oh man let me tell you! I have also noticed my booty is so sore as all get out too. It is a running joke that i have no booty around here, so now it has evolved to I am building a booty for Kathy!

Day 190 Physical Activity And Attitude

Good evening bloggers and bloggerettes! I have to tell you, my morning workouts are becoming like crack to me! As I talked about before, the Wal Mart walking had run its course, and it did get me to a new level of fitness, but the challenge just wasn’t there anymore. I decided to take up jogging, and as I was fairly sure that Wal Mart’s management would likely frown on me jogging 2 miles in their store, I decided to completely overhaul my morning routine to include treadmill time at 5 in the morning. I was a bit worried that walking away from a routine that had worked so well for me and trying to start something new would lead to me not working out in the mornings anymore and provide a possible pitfall in my journey. Another fear I had was that since I had done my cardio first, for the first couple of days I didn’t have the energy to do my weight workout too. Luckily, I managed to figure all that out and have gone back to cardio and weight work in the morning. And as I said before, I love it! It is like crack! I am not in quite good enough jogging shape to jog at 5 miles an hour every day yet, so I have been alternating between jogging one day and doing a pre programmed workout on the treadmill every other day. Number 4 weight loss program was a tough one at first, but today for the first time, I found myself thinking it was just not hard enough anymore. So here is the thing. The next level of preprogrammed workouts is labeled as performance workouts! Just by the diagram on them, I suspect that there is a great deal of fast uphill running, and I am intrigued and scared at the same time! I know from experience you can adjust the preprogrammed incline and speed to fit your preference, but I don’t like to do that. I have to rise to the challenge, it is just in my nature. I am thinking Saturday morning may be me against Performance Workout Program 5! I have also just about decided to start turning my jogging speed up to 5.5 but not jog my full 5k yet. My ultimate goal is to be able to run a 5k in 30 minutes. I don’t want to get there too fast though because it helps me to keep goals ahead of me.
So tell me, is there a uber-competitive streak in you? Do you find yourself pushing physically as you drop the weight? What is your favorite physical accomplishment to date?

Day 189 My Six Months Anniversary!

So today is the 6 months anniversary for my choice to make a lifestyle change!! I have been on this road to longer, healthier and more satisfying life for 6 months! And I have to tell you, I could not be happier than I was when I decided to look back at the progress I have made, the changes in mind and spirit, and the physical changes as well. I can honestly say that I am a significantly different person today than I was on July 18, 2010. Let’s take a look at some of the differences that I am most proud of.
1. I am pretty sure, without any kind of evidence to back this claim up, that I was regularly taking in probably in the neighborhood of 4,000 calories a day! Not only that, but these were some severely terrible calories too. McDonald’s breakfast crap, the breakfast crap from the little store I worked at, Burger King and McDonalds and Wendy’s combo “deals”, hot dogs, buns and sweet relish by the dozens a week, and the list just goes on and on. Notice I didn’t mention any fruits, vegetables or salads in there? Me too!
2. When I decided to get the exercise portion of my lifestyle change rolling, I was in way worse shape than I had imagined to be honest. I walked around my block twice, which equals just a little over a mile on that first day. I kid you not, I was winded, my legs were jelly, and my back was tight as a drum on the second lap. I had dreams of being a jogger even back then, but about a month in, I had relegated myself to being a really good walker as my goal. Today, well I shed that negative attitude, and now I am a jogger! I jogged the hills in Texas I talked about last week! Not only that, I jogged the 2 ½ miles of hils in 29 minutes!! I have concluded that while I have started my jogging on the treadmill, I am going to love it when the weather cooperates with me and I can get out for outside jogs. I also am fairly certain that I jog faster with no numbers in front of me or the treadmill “holding me back”. Hahaha!
3. I cannot even try to fit into my old clothes anymore. I am not a rich man and so my clothes buying has been slow and steady for the past few months. I am starting to get some guff at work for trying to keep wearing the bigger shirts for a few more weeks. They literally look that bad on me. I can’t tuck them in and arrange them so they don’t look too bad anymore. They are huge. I am not. This formula does not make for a professional look. To supplement this, I have now bought two “office shirts” in XL. Sadly, they both are starting to show signs of being too big too….. can’t frikkin win!
4. My body has changed drastically! I suppose this is the biggest of them all but not my most favorite to be honest. I will get to that one. I think I do have issues with my self body image and my real actual body appearance. I cannot for the life of me comprehend that my XL shirts are too big. I kind assumed under all that fat was still a “big boned guy”. I suppose I have exposed that as a myth! I now own on size Large shirt but apparently need more! I am also shocked at the fact my shoulders, they are square shaped now! I have always had round shoulders, I suspect due to the fact I couldn’t put my arms down to my side property because of my side boobs! I still have remnants of side boobs, but they are not as prominent as they used to be!
5. Finally, my favorite change. I am not a slave to food. I have come to grips with my love for food. I have not beat that out of me. Food is meant to be enjoyed. It helps us socialize. It has been proven you like the people you eat with more than those you don’t. Buuuuut, food had taken over my existence essentially, and that is how I got where I was. The thing in all this I am most proud of is the fact that food has no power over me anymore. I can give a very recent example. In the beginning, I had to be on guard at all times and I could not let myself indulge a little, I could not give an inch! I had this huge fear that one slip, one step off that path and I was screwed! I would go right back to combo deals and late night hot dog fests and it would be all over. I now know, a day of indulgence does not a failure make. Cue yesterday, January 17, 2011. I had gotten back late from Texas on Sunday evening. Didn’t get to bed till late, got up early, it was just not my routine at all. When I woke up, I felt crappy but I just figured it was because I had gotten less sleep than usual. I got myself extra coffeed up and made a go of it at the office, but it became apparent that it was not just tiredness, I felt crappy cause I was sick! I couldn’t ascertain whether the feeling in my face and chest were more uncomfortable or my stomach doing crazy things was the bigger problem, I just knew I was out for the day. One decision I did make was that I was not going to do the dry heaving thing! So I took off my usual constraints for the day and I let myself eat. I didn’t bother to be OCD and track. I just let myself eat when I felt like it and I didn’t make decisions based on quality of calories. Well actually on a side note here, this lifestyle has gotten to the household as well because I didn’t actually have any unhealthy food in the house so that is one of the other big deals in all this, but I digress to my point. So I had fiber bars, whole wheat bread peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, Special K cereal, one of those Healthy Choice soups, etc. It was a day of just eat and not be accountable. The worst thing I did was say in for a penny, in for a pounds and had Kathy bring me five tacos from Taco Bell. The old me would have decided that that was the end of it all. But not this guy. I got up this morning, got right back on the treadmill, got the weight lifting routine back in action and am right back to food tracking and exercise planning. It was a conscious choice to not be on guard for one day, and it was another conscious choice to get right back on guard as it were. That is the biggest difference I could have ever expected to get from all of this. That is what I am hanging my hat on and heading towards maintenance phase with when I get there!

Day 182 A Little Nervous and I Am Serious, That Is What I Want To Do In Texas

Tomorrow is the first weigh in of the year! I am pretty nervous about it too. I am thinking I did well enough over the last two weeks to have gotten myself in the two ohs! My guess is 208 pounds. I would like to get 207, that would be 90 pounds! And being in the two ohs would set my mind going crazy for.... wait for it..... wait for it.... ONE-DERLAND!! I would not put it past me to either yell loud enough to wake the neighborhood on that day or to maybe even shed a tear of joy. That is gonna be a great day folks!

I am laughing at myself some. We are going to Texas this weekend to get our newest family member, a cocker spaniel we have named Sally. We are getting it from a family friend. It is the sister of our friends we stay with when we go visit Kathy's family and friends. Well this is the place I was telling you I did the accidental 10k the weekend after Thanksgiving! I loved that walk! It had some hills that I loved being challenged by. So when we shored up the plans a couple of days ago, the first thing I thought? I want to go jog those hills! Not sure I could jog all of them both ways, but I want to try!!!! I ask again, who am I?

Day 181 Classifying Foods

So often, I see people get aggravated about a "bad food choice" they made. I was brewing on this the other day. I just don't know that any foods are inherently "bad". Seriously. I will tell you what is "bad". When you like that food so much that you just keep eating and eating and eating it. So the reality is, it isn't the food that is necessarily bad, it is the quantity of the food. I mean the reality is, if you eat one ounce of a candy bar, you have not eaten enough of it to have made a dent in your diet for the day. Now, on the flip side, you eat the whole candy bar, decide it was so good that a second one is in order, well that is "bad". You have loaded up on empty calories, skyrocketed your blood sugar, and that, my friend, is bad stuff. I tell you what used to fascinate me. My friend Carrie, the attorney I used to work with at my old firm, did this thing that just dumbfounded me. She could eat half a fiber bar, fold the wrapper over, and save the rest for later. I was never able to get that. How do you not eat the whole thing at once. When I was taking my shower today, that memory dawned on me. I decided I wanted to try that today. I love to push myself and to think of good habits for me to get into. I am now going to start working on realizing just cause you opened the fiber bar, it don't mean you have to finish it. Just because there is a little extra green beans left, don't mean you have to eat them. I think that this goes back to the days when I was growing up, you had to clean your plate. all of it. No left overs on the plate. I am deprogramming I guess. I have worked on lowering my portions in general, so I guess this was the logical first step.

While on my soapbox, I want to ask this? Why is it that fast food and restaurant chains, when they come up with a new dish, it has to be "more and bigger" than their other menu items? That is part of the problem with Americans. I have to give props to Taco Bell for their Fresco menu, it is at least a whack at being healthier. Unlike KFC with that monstrosity of a new sandwich that is chicken, bacon, cheese and chicken again. I swear the restaurants and the weight loss industry are buying each others stock! I get quite fascinated by looking at old photos from the early to mid 1950's. Want to know what I notice? Nobody in them is fat. well basically nobody. Definitely no fat kids. Know why? I suspect the fact that there were no heart attack burgers and vein clog fries. There was no Wii, no computer games, no XBOX. They ate when they HAD to eat, they played or worked all day, and that is what the human body was made to do. Not sit behind a computer sucking down calories.

Day 180 Those Students Desks Again!

I just got home from the first night of my last semester in undergraduate school! Not only is that exciting, but both of my classes have the student desks, like you have in high school. In the olden days ( I just wanted to say that really) I did not fit in those desks very well as I mentioned before. I had to cram myself in there and work on breathing enough to not pass out and not be obvious is the desk was cutting me in half. Now, it is amazing to me that I have a huge gap between my belly and the desk! Which leads me to tonight's advice I have for newbies. Don't let the accomplishments you get excited about due to your weight loss ever become normal to you. Make sure that they always amaze you every time it happens. For example. I used to have no space between me and my steering wheel. It was tough to try to get something that dropped in the floor, driving or not. I remember the first time I was able to change my shoes from behind the steering wheel! It was such an awesome feeling! And now, I have done it so many times, it could easily have become commonplace, lost its appeal, and not motivating to me at all. Truth is, every time I do it, I get excited. Just like even though I started fitting well in the student desks last semester, I still got excited about it tonight. That is something that has helped me be successful in this journey. My ability to maintain my enthusiasm about the small things! I hope this helps somebody that is just starting off to keep motivated and moving forward in their journey!

Day 179 Find A Goal, Keep Your Focus

I guess without thinking about it, I have decided to post things geared towards any newbies in the community. I have started following a few new members and find their enthusiasm infectious. But, aren't we all enthusiastic for week one, sometimes week two? I have had years where I got off to a strong start, tailed after week two, half assed it on week three and by week four, my efforts were a long lost memory. Once again, I have come to a eye opening realization with regard to keeping motivated. Before, when I started my weight loss, I never had a real goal in mind other than losing weight. That was it. So the couple of times I was successful to a degree, I wasn't able to maintain, because... DUNH DUNH DUUUUUUUUUUNH..... I had reached my goal, the only goal I had set. And the times I just plain failed? I lost interest, I lost that initial enthusiasm. That enthusiasm may get you going, but it won't keep you on the train tracks. Especially if after the original burst of success, you experience a week or two that is discouraging.

I have set two goals which I keep in my minds eye at all times, one very short term goal, and one very long term goal. My short term goal is kinda goofy, but it keeps me motivated. I want to take a trip to an amusement park this year, and not worry one time whether or not I will fit in the rides! Moreover, I want to fit comfortably in all those rides! So for the short term, that is what is keeping me in line this winter. My long term goal is much more important to me. I love my family. So much so, that is what I reflected when I created the name of my blog. I am in the process of getting my Bachelor's Degree so I can attend law school and get a job that will allow me to support my family in the manner they deserve. To do that as well as possible, then I need to live as long as possible. So I have to be successful in my weight loss and in my weight maintenance. These are the things that I think about when I work out, when I am having a meal, when I am driving down the road, when I have 5 spare minutes to reflect. Those thoughts make my journey a little easier on the hard days. If you haven't come up with some short term goals you hope to meet by losing weight, then I urge you; sit down, think of something that being overweight has limited you from doing that you really would love to be doing. Don't start off big. My first goal was to walk a mile without my back hurting me! That was two weeks in the making, and I felt great when I achieved it. Start off simple. Another trick I have used is to buy clothes at a resale shop that I cant' fit in. Then I work like hell to make them fit. And there is of course the one most are using already, the scale. However I do it different than most with regards to weighing. I weigh every second Friday. This does a couple of tings. First, it keeps me from driving myself crazy if my weight is not doing what I want. Second, if I keep my end of the bargain up, then the scale does its part and I see bigger gains than if I weight daily, every other day, or weekly. In the beginning, I was seeing 8 pounds lost every two weeks! Want to talk about motivating! I worked my ass off to see those number over and over cause it was addictive to see that big of reduction!

So if your new, or if you have lost your enthusiasm or any other difficulty you have reached, try using the goal as your motivation. I have actually added a new goal. I want to jog a full 5k at 5 miles an hour ASAP. When the weather lets up and it gets warm enough for me to get off the treadmill and on the pavement, I want to be ready!

Newbies, good luck in the third full week of 2011 and if I can be of any help, please feel free to contact me at jsg14342@cox.net. I will be glad to talk to you or listen either one!

Day 178 A Realization And Putting Two aAnd Two Together

I have bloggy buddy I love to death and I am betting most of you follow her,Dr. F, who recently posted here that she is kinda been off the wagon lately. She goes on to talk about how she has in the past gotten down on herself for not being perfect in her plan for weight loss, leading to more not being perfect and eventually just plain giving up all efforts. I think that is way more common than is usually known or talked about. Cause here is the thing. We get ourselves whipped into frenzy, we are gonna accomplish great things, we are gonna eat cleaner and better and more perfect than could ever be considered possible before we do it. We are gonna lose all of these years of weight in 3 months and it is gonna be epic! Does all this sound familiar? It does to me, I have written that book a few times in my life. Dr. F's story started making me think about this current journey I am on and how it has been so dramatically different than journeys past. I almost feel guilty for it, but I have enjoyed a great deal of success this time around. Probably more than I deserve if the truth be told. I have never lost weight this fast, made so many changes and had them stick for so long, and never been this light since high school. These are all very exciting. So how did that happen? Well, there are a few big differences this time around. I did not lean on only changing my food or only exercising my ass off. This time, I decided any food I want, I can have. I just can't have all I can eat of it. I decided rather than shooting for a 5k run in 1 month, I would walk for my exercise, with escalating distance and effort on my part. When I did change my food, I didn't shoot straight for minimum calories right away, I went for 2000 calories a day, moved to 1800 a day, then slowly woudn up at 1500 eventually. By default, I wound up eating a heck of a lot cleaner based on eating lower calorie foods for their calorie values, but still not having anything be off limits.

I think that more overweight people are overweight because they are perfectionists. I can't do it perfect and to fit my expectations? Then I won't try to do it at all. I just had three cookies? crap, I failed, I suck. Case in point. My wife. She has jumped on the bandwagon. She has lost 20 pounds over the last 3 months just for having started to cook food I can eat for her and Lauren. We have sworn off fast food burgers and crap food. The other day, she committed to start exercising and has made a real effort to start counting her calories for the day. She has been doing great at it too. But, we had a cookie rally for Girl Scout Cookies sales Friday night. She had been spot on all day diet wise. But she had 4 cookies and a slice of cake. In her head, she had failed her diet. I had to explain to her no. First, no food is out of bounds. Second, you had 4 cookies and some cake. 4 months ago, you would have had a dozen free cookies and gone back for seconds on cake. At the end of the rally, there was extra cookies that were left over and they were bringing them to us. She said no thank you to that. However, in all that, all she saw was she failed by eating cookies. That is usually the beginning of the end for us fat folks looking to change our lives. But, rather than making small changes that are sustainable, then building on them, we think we have to be perfect from jump street. Please for you newbies, I am begging you. Don't do the perfect or nothing, wholesale changes approach to your weight loss journey. Start off with one thing, one habit you know you can keep up. Go walk a mile at a comfortable pace today, cut your calories down to 2000 for three days, don't eat that late night snack for this week. Just make small changes that once you do them, make you proud, make you able to build on them. In two weeks, you can cut it down to 1800 calories a day, and this time, pledge to get some vegetables in your diet. Don't shoot for the whole enchilada at once. One bit at a time folks, one bite at a time.

Day 177 Off Day

Hello and howdy to all my blogger buddies. I have to admit, it will be strange to type this next sentence. I had no obligatory tasks today and I actually slacked for 90% of my day! There was not one thing on my or Kathy's agenda that had to be taken care of! I originally had set a few things in my head to do, like clean my truck, clean my garage and trim back the rose bush finally. I did get started on the garage one until I found out it was cold as a well diggers butt outside, I didn't like being cold as a well digger's butt, and was not going to be doing those outside tasks after all. So, I got the dishes done, cleaned up the kitchen a bit, hopped on the treadmill and walked one of the pre set programs on it, cooked Kathy and I some breakfast, and then settled in for a long day of watching tv. Apart from grocery shopping and helping Kathy fix a delicious new recipe, my day was spent relaxing. And I have to say, I think I really needed that. I have to admit, I was antsy quite a bit though. Not in motion is not my normal state of being, at least not any more. I finally settled in after grocery shopping and cooking though.

Not going to go too deep into this, but for some reason, this hit me really hard today. I put on the one size large shirt I own today, and it fits really really well. Which made me start thinking about how big I really was before I started this whole journey. Today, for the first time, I really UNDERSTOOD how big I was. I remembered all the days I barely fit behind my steering wheel, I didn't fit behind Kathy's steering wheel, all the booths I crammed myself into, all the amusement park rides I either was able to cram myself into or was not able to ride due to my big belly, I even remember how I used to play my belly like a drum when I was laid back in my recliner and how one time i realized it wasn't in the spot it was supposed to be when I went to play it like a drum again. I remembered the joy I took in finding cool shirts that were size 3X. I remembered how hard it was for Kathy and I to squeeze by each other in our tiny kitchen (though that part could be fun sometimes!). And here is the thing. Looking back now, it is clear how big I was. But, in the moment, at all those times, I always had a skewered vision of myself apparently. I honestly though "yeah I am overweight, but not freakishly overweight", when it turns out, I was! Now I get why the kids stared at me in Wal Mart, although I think deep inside, I knew that at the time. I get why folks had the funny look on elevators, though I really knew at the time probably.

Now the challenge for me has been to realize that I am not that size anymore. I still worry about the strength of chairs (yes, I harmed a few chairs in my larger days), I still look for the booth with the most space between the back of the seat and the table, or the booth with the movable table top (admit it, we have all done it), I still wonder if I can slide through that little space between this thing and that one. That brings up another thing. I came to realize at one point folks, I was actually able to more easily fit through those tight spaces walking forward than turning sideways!! That is a terrible feeling! But I digress. Especially since I said that I wasn't going to go too deep into this and am two paragraphs in. So anyway, my point being, it is a heckuva game. At one end, you are fooling yourself into thinking you are smaller than you really are, at the other end you are struggling to come to grips with how small you really are. And I think that comes from one single turning point moment we all had to deal with; being honest about your predicament with yourself. Admitting this is a problem and I need to address it for real. At that point, you become aware of how big you are. And it actually builds on itself as you get smaller, you start realizing how big you were even more and somehow, all the denial disappears and is replaced with skewed perception of reality that even though now you are smaller, you now think you are bigger! AAAAAARGHH the craziness, the wonderful, frustrating, humbling craziness. Thank God for this journey right?

Day 176 I Get It More Than Ever Now

Good Friday evening bloggers. I have to admit, there are some times I don't really want to blog over the weekend. It seems the traffic is much less, the comments less forthcoming, and just less enthusiasm is generated in blog land. I get that. I live life on the weekends as I am sure most of us do. But even if I had the policy of no blogging on the weekends, I would have to post about today. Ever have one of those days? It just seems like things were going so well and nothing could possibly go wrong, so you just kinda start waiting for something to happen, and it never does? That was today! I mean I slept a little later than usual (if you want to call 4:45 a.m. late that is), I was dead on in my eating, Kathy only worked for a couple of hours this morning and came back home, Kathy's Mom took us to lunch and hung out with us for the afternoon, I got the local news stations coffee mug I have been coveting for years finally for free! Then, Kathy and her Mom decided they were going to get their respective nails done. I obviously was not going to partake in that activity, so the plan was I would go to the park and get a few laps walking in until they called and said they were done. I had actually suspected that this was how the afternoon was going to play out, so I had worn my new Under Armour Shade running shoes from the house. I don't know how the bug got planted in me to do some real, outside, in the wild jogging, but it struck me that I was going to get one lap in walking to warm up, and I was going to jog 2 laps after that. I don't know where the sign is now, but I KNOW I saw a sign there before that said the paved walking trail I was on was 3/4 of a mile long. So I jogged a mile and a half. Not only that, I was shocking myself in that I had planned on just jogging at a loping pace, but I couldn't get myself to slow down! I was jogging at a pretty good clip. Folks, I get it! I just get it. There is nothing like a crisp cool day, a blue sky and a good breeze, and just turning yourself loose to jog and jog and jog. I have never felt so at peace, so alive and so aware of my physical being before in my life! It is almost tantric!! Ok not really but I mean it was so cool! I finally got tired about 1/2 way through the last lap, but even then, I was not exhausted, I just could tell I had been jogging pretty hard. I don't know all you folks take on running, but if you have even a passing interest in the idea of becoming a jogger, I highly suggest that you go out and get yourself in shape for that! It truly is a great experience, and as a fat or former fat person, you will appreciate the beauty of the experience even more, trust me.

Day 175 Heh Heh Heh, I Found It!!

So yesterday, I had a rough day on the exercise front. I just couldn't get motivated. If I am honest with myself, I knew it was coming down the pike. I just am not that guy, the guy that can just do the same thing over and over with no challenge to doing it. I have to be pushing myself, I have to have a goal to strive towards. I have to not be able to do what I want at first, so I can get to where it is I am trying to get. I need a journey. Well, I found my newest journey today! I have my new challenge and I think Dawne is going to give me an I told you so on it. I got up this morning and decided to replace the morning Wal Mart walks, with morning treadmill runs! So, I decided that just like with the walks, I have to have stepped goals. I started off walking 1 1/2 miles a day, at a reasonable pace, stepped up and up and up until I was able to do 4 to 5 miles a day at a hauling butt pace! So today, I decided I was going to jog at 5 miles an hour, and my distance goal was to get to 2 miles at that speed, then whatever was left over of a half hour, I would jog at 4 miles an hour. Yeah, turns out, that wasn't gonna happen. I pushed it to get to 1 1/2 miles at 4 miles an hour, had to turn down to 4 miles an hour up to 2 miles, then went to 3 miles per hour for the last 4 minutes and change. So, my new goal, for now, is to get to jogging the full 2 miles at 5 miles an hour with no breaks or slow downs. I am up to it, I am sure. And, at lunch, I alternate between Wal Mart and the local high school track for my walks, but now, I am going to start going to the local park which is close by to the office, and start walking that trail which is around a beautiful pond and has hills and curves and scenery and everything. Today, I did 3 laps at full speed, and it was great. I kept trying to slow down on the last lap so, but I just can't anymore. I have to go full speed no matter what. Weird how that has changed about me.

Changing gears a little, I have taken office. I am officially a Justice of the Peace, and have now attended one regular meeting and one Personnel Committee and one Budget Committee meeting, as well as a special Regular meeting. We have had an issue with buying out one of the outgoing chief deputies comp time and vacation time so the new person can be paid out of that slot. I have to admit, it has been a contentious issue, and I have already learned a few things. I am the voice of reason. I believe my role on the Quorum Court will be to make sure that everyone fully understands the issue by asking the right questions that most are afraid to ask for fear of looking stupid or for lack of concern, whichever the case may be. And I have concluded that I am for sure, no doubt about it, cut out for public service. I am 5 days in, and I love it. I love that the people in District 2 of Crawford County elected me. I love that I care enough to get all the facts before I vote on appropriations and ordinances, I love that I am able to be the voice of the people. It really is an awesome feeling. I wish everybody had the opportunity to feel it, but then that would be not too efficient now wouldn't it?

Day 174 Just One Of Those Days

Man, it was a weird wacky kind of day for me. I just couldn't get motivated for exercise today. I think I need a new challenge as the Wal Mart walking does not hold the thrill for me it once did. I just don't feel like it is enough anymore. I am thinking of changing up my routine but I hate change! see if I want to do the jogging, I obviously can't do it in Wal Mart. So I either have to join a gym, or do it on the treadmill at home. To do it on the treadmill, I need to do it early enough that I can get done, get Lauren up and ready for school, and then not have a great deal of time before I go to work. The idle time is what kills me usually. I can see me getting a McDonalds habit going, or a Sweet Bay habit going. Something detrimental. But I guess I could stay at the house later, watch tv with Lauren and then get her to school. I dunno!! AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHH! I love the part of me that always needs a new challenge, but then there is this part of me that makes it hard! haha. I have been working out on the Wii Fit game and I have to admit, I like it. It has some pretty good exercises and range of activities that keep you moving. I am thinking I will substitute some of my weight training days for Wii Fit days just for a change up. Any suggestions from my wise and insightful blogging buddies?

Day 173 Need To Get A Handle

Ok, this is how I am going to take care of this. I have a concern. Over the holidays I made a conscious decision that on the actual holidays, I would eat, not with reckless abandon, but allow myself to eat. And that was fine. But I am not sure I like that I opened that door, or at least as soon as I did. I know that skinny people don't fret over one day spent eating a little more than usual. And I don't know that i have a legitimate gripe against myself per se, but if I am concerned, I should address it I think. I went to my friend Jason's tonight to watch the Hogs play in the Sugar Bowl. I had been spot on for my food all day and left 500 calories to indulge a little in whatever Jason may be offering. I used a 1000 calories on indulgence instead. I got to 2300 calories, which I know is not an incredible beat yourself up number, but I feel that this allowing myself habit could be detrimental. Soooo, as is the purpose of this blog, I am using it to set myself straight by talking to ya'll. I want a good solid MONTH of eating without indulgence out of myself, so I am telling ya'll about it so I can be accountable. I want spot on, no overages whatsoever eating from today, January 4, 2011 until February 4, 2011. 1800 calories a day regardless. That is how this train tracks for the next 30 days. Can I get some help fellow bloggers? Keep me accountable!

Day 172 Ostrich Anyone?

So this morning, as I was checking my blood sugar when I woke up, I realized something. I was totally an ostrich before. You know, the bury your head in the sand bird? Yeah I was that way. I knew my blood sugar would be high, so I didn't check it. I knew that the scale would not say what I wanted, so I avoided it. I knew the doctor would tell me how unhealthy I am, so I avoided him. All those things were life as old "pre-journey Shane". Now, I am eager to check my blood sugar every time I turn around, I love the scale and I am anxious to get to the doctor and have just a regular physical done in which he says " those are some good numbers there Shane!

Tell me some stories about how you avoided anything that reminded you of your failure in the diet and health department.

Ok, here is the best comparison/contrast picture set ever! Picture No. 1, me on New Years Eve 2009:

And now a picture from New Year's Eve 2010:

kinda crazy to see it like that. Woo hoo!!

Day 171 A Look And A Realization, Others That See You

I have to admit, 2011 has so far been a very active year for me. Yesterday I walked 4 miles when I left with the intention of walking 2 miles, I danced the night away with Kathy last night, I got the Wii Fit and balance board out and got a heck of a workout this morning, and we bowled this afternoon. I, quite frankly, and tired, sore, worn out, and satisfied as can be! One of the things I wanted to try to do this year is to vary my activity, the times that I am active and to use some of the "I am gonna get fit this time" purchases I have made in the past. I want some new stuff too, but I refuse to buy it till the old stuff gets used and used significantly!!! Thus my trip to Wal Mart this morning to buy batteries for the balance board. Glad I did too, because it helped me get a different workout that I usually get on Sunday mornings, or ever for that matter. I really can feel the difference in this mornings workout and my usual walking workout and I like it!

Now, about the trip to Wal Mart this morning, I had a bit of an eye opening experience. I took off early in the morning on a whim, so I didn't go dressed like I normally do. I was in an old pair of sweats, a Return of the Jedi tshirt, and had worn my old camoflage hunting jacket from years ago. When I got to the store, I had to pee real bad as I had already started on my water for the day. So I headed to the restroom and when I walked in, I was surprised "to see someone else in there unexpectedly". Well actually, that someone else was my reflection in the mirror upon closer inspection, and it was wild!!! I guess just the fact that I wasn't in my usual jeans, polo, and leather jacket made me see myself as a different person. And I will be honest, the first thing I noticed was that I saw that "other person" as a thin person. I can honestly say that for the first time, even if for a second, I saw myself as truly thin. Not really thin, but not the overly obese man I was in the beginning. I know we have all mentioned at some point that we KNOW we have lost weight, but our mind's eye can't quite comprehend it, even with mirror or clothing evidence. It seemed to me that the split second confusion kinda opened my mind a little bit to the idea that I am thinner. I guess maybe having defined myself as a fat person for so long may be losing its grip on me... I dunno, I think I will ponder it more before I decide that. However, it does bring me to another related point. Almost all my family and friends have been so nice and happy for me and what i have accomplished weight wise, but I have noticed that some, while giving what seems like a compliment, may be exposing their real feelings or at least the fact that they too have a hard time imagining me as anything other than a fat person. I have heard on more than one occasion over the holiday season that "you just don't look like you" and other variations of the same theme. Apparently, their definition of me is as that fat, out of shape guy they have always known, and the thin, considerably more active and in shape guy I am now bothers them. Unfortunately, even though that kind of makes me angry, I can't get too mad, since I share that affliction pretty much. I think one of the issues is the fact that I have lost weight so quickly, even if that was unintended. Maybe had I gone the two pounds a week route, myself and the others who have issues with the change would be more able to accept the gradual change rather than the drastic. Whatever, I plan on keeping in keeping on, and what ever may come at me, I will keep on being the "New Shane" and loving every second of the journey there as well as when I get there!!

Day 170 Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!! I hope the day finds everyone in good spirits and doing well on their first day 2011's journey. I know this, I had a heck of a day. I am glad to have settled down for the day finally, but it was a great day.

I had a heck of a time last night. The Hunters and The Griffins partied down with Wii Just Dance, Just Dance 2 and the Michael Jackson Experience for Wii. We danced our asses off then sang on Rock Band, yelled screamed and hollered and blew our noisemakers at midnight, visited for a bit, then Kathy, Lauren and I came home. In bed around 1:15 up at 7, both of which are minor miracles, just ask my family. I went to my swearing in at 10 o clock. The Quorum Court met for our first meeting to adopt the new Procedural Ordinance and vote on an appropriation ordinance. I expected a quick in and out, but one of the new justices wanted to debate the procedural ordinance and another made a fair point about the issue up for appropriation and we wound up voting to send it to committee after some good debate. The official requesting the appropriation was hacked and made it known in the public comments section of our meeting. I spent the day researching the way to fix the problem and think I have it. I then got out for my walk in the freezing cold because I felt the need for some outside time. I love to do my walking outside when possible, it just makes me happy. Kathy cooked us up some black eyed peas, fried up a little cabbage and made corn bread muffins for supper. I am at 1520 calories for the day, with only yogurt left on my plan, I got 4 good hard miles of walking under my belt, and it looks like Kathy and I may be fixing to tangle on Just Dance so I can try to beat her at least one time dang it!

Hope to see some good first day of 2011 posts from ya'll tomorrow morning! Here I go to the likely slaughter!