Day 108 Happpy Halloween!!

Happy Halloween folks!! The Trick or Treating is over with for the evening and I am satisfied with only having had a small candy bar and some Hot Tamales. I just did my calories and I did not break 1800!!That has become my outside limit for the weekends and it seems to be working out for me. I am going to brag a little. I got a wild hair yesterday to try to walk 5 miles straight through today. I am debating about doing it that way for the break at Thangksgiving, so I wanted to see how hard it would be. I am not sure I could do the whole thing at once on all four days, but I bet I could for two days in a row! I had no idea that we were also going to be walking to trick or treat tonight, and I wound up getting about a mile more in for that, so for the week, I am up to 22 1/2 miles for the week. I think that is a pretty good base number to start off with and build on. I also stayed busy with housework today. I did I think 7 loads of laundry, two loads of dishes and put all of both away when they were done. I got the a/c units out of the windows today too. I am now fighting off sleep like there will be no tomorrow, so I am going to close this out and say good night to all and hope we all did smart things when it comes to our Halloween decisions.

Day 107 Replacing One Addiction With Another

Good Saturday evening folks. I am a tuckered out fella today. I got my day started early. I woke up at 5, got my eyes good and open and started a loooooong day. I got started with three miles on the treadmill at 3.8 mph and a two incline. I got a good sweat on and am glad I am liking the treadmill walking considering the mornings are getting cold here....brrrr! So I quickly got some breakfast cooked and showered so I could go get Lauren and Kathy around at the lock in and meet Lauren's cheer squad at the school at 9:10. We made it just in time and the bus headed out shortly after. We drove to Greenwood, a town the county over about 40 minutes away. We lost our game but the girls did a heck of a job cheering!! One of our good friends was Lauren's coach and we hope she is again next year. After leaving the game, we went to JC Penney's and bought Lauren a kick butt coat for 60% off! It really was a great trip to the mall and I never say that. We came home for a little bit so the girls could take a quick nap since they had stayed up most the night yammering at the lock in. I took that opportunity to tack on two more miles to my total for the day. When I got back, Lauren asked me to go outside with her and practice her basketball passes and stuff so I went out and we messed around for a half hour or so. We came in and got all gussied up for the downtown Main Street Trick or Treat. I packed us a picnic lunch and we met our good friends out on the little ampitheater park on Main Street and had a good time visiting and eating. Finally we went on to the candy getting. I went last year and it was a blast, with some lines but at the end of each line was chocolate bars usually. Tonight, the lines were loooooooong and you got gum?!?!? So we left somewhat disappointed. Everybody came back to my house and we all visited and had a good time. The kids of course ran in and out and acted fools, and that is my favorite part of our get togethers. I love mah peeps!

I did great in the face of treats. I wound up eating two squares off a chocolate bar and some sort of tootsie roll like thing that tasted like grape. That was it. Well I take that back. I did have a popcorn ball right before we went to JC Penney because I did not know we would be at Lauren's game so long and had not brought some food with me and I was starving. We have been working on our budgeting and one thing that got the kibosh was eating out, so going somewhere for a quick salad was out, and the coach had given the girls each a popcorn ball after cheering. It was all I had and I was getting light headed, so I did eat it, but it was out of necessity and not weakness. I was shocked to find it only had 100 calories. It still made my mouth taste weird and sugary. I don't eat a lot of sugar and it is weird when I do how my mouth feels all yuck!

I think I am going to try to get 5 miles walking in again tomorrow. It has literally become a habit. In fact, I would go so far as to say it has replaced mindless eating as a habit. In thinking about this during my second walk to get two more miles, I started thinking how my life has become a series of switching one habit for another. For example, I spent my life working in factories and not really getting ahead in life, even though I got paid well, I wasn't going anywhere quick. Then I headed off to college at the age of 34 and have done well for myself getting ahead, even if no more so financially, but I have prospects now. I went from being a lonely single guy that often longed for something to do each weekend, to a husband and stepfather who sometimes wonders when his next opportunity to sit and chill is going to be. And most recently, I have changed from the guy who just is going to eat, drink and be merry, to the guy who sees what all that is going to do to his life expectancy and now has traded out all that for getting healthier. I no longer spend every minute I can behind this computer screen or in front of the TV, I literally map my days around when can I get another walk in. I no longer try to figure out what my next meal is ( at least not obsessively like in the past, I do plan ahead, but for practical purposes, not selfish)but now I track each calorie and make the best choices possible for a mixture of quality calories with an allowance for foods I enjoy added in. I make conscious decisions to get myself and keep myself healthy for my family, to prolong my time with them. I am ashamed to say this, but once upon a time, I rationalized my overeating behavior and the reason I said I wasn't going to do anything about it was that I wasn't having that great of a time here on earth anyway, might as well enjoy it and move on to the after life as soon as possible. I have only told a few people that, but it is a true story and one I am glad is not longer true!!!

Day 106 I Have Discovered A New Trigger and Hot 100 Update

Hey guys. As the title suggests, I have learned one more trigger I have to learn how to combat, although I rarely ever deal with it. Kathy and Lauren are gone tonight, at at a lock in for the Girl Scouts for the night. I know I often think of how nice it would be if I had a night all alone for me to just chill and watch tube. It is not as great as it sounds. So, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up in the middle of my movie. For some reason, even though I was at 1400 calories for the night, I decided I needed to have a bowl of cereal. I had one. Not a big one, but then I sat there thinking why did I do that? I analyzed for a minute and came to grips with the fact that just like when I was single and eating everything in sight, the loneliness set me off. It was not a huge transgression, I know that, but still it is something that needs to be acknowledged and cut off at the knees. I think that is the most valuable aspect of blogging and sharing your journey with people who get this journey and have dealt with all the things I have dealt with and do deal with on a daily basis. Before this, I would have easily just stuffed this transgression down, acted like it didn't happen, then have another slip and another and another and then would begin the spiral until I was just back to me. I think you gain power by acknowledging and actively fighting those issues that have kept you from losing weight and getting healthier. By stuffing those issues down, you are feeding them by fearing them. ONce you are in control, once the problem is brought to the forefront to be put on trial, it is found guilty and sentenced to life or execution. So I now know that if my family is going to leave me alone, I have to be on guard, I have to put up that curtain. But in the same sense as all this, the rest of my day was fine, I did not overindulge at any other time, so bowl of cereal is not going to defeat me. I just needed to recognize publicly and loudly the issue of eating out of loneliness.

Ok, on to my Hot 100 Update. Still cruising right along. I will weigh on this coming Friday and I feel as though I will probably have met my get to 240 goal and at that time will change it to 230. I have not made any progress on getting my 5k time down as my ankles have been giving me trouble, so I am going to edit that one to read I am going to try to get 18 miles a week walked or more if possible, but given my schedule, that is a realistic number. I have not had any white bread as planned and my veggie and fruit eating have been steadily improved as hoped for. I am getting at least 5 servings a day! I have not gone to check on Hot 100 progress reports today, but I hope to see some good one folks!!

Day 105 Five Miles Is A Start. and Three Things Thursday

I woke up with a mission today. I was going to get five miles of walking in to see how it would settle with my tired legs. I am going to be walking five miles a day on Thanksgiving break ad I wanted to see how well that was going to go. I need some work folks. I got 2 1/2 miles this morning and another 2 1/2 miles at lunch. I have been going hard in the morning all week and like I said, I raced with Lauren yesterday too. So as I type this, I am sore and stiff as hell! Looks like some work to be done between now and then!

One of the things I love about my weight loss so far is that there are so many physical things I can do now that I couldn't before. One of my favorite is that now rather than being "pinned in" behind my steering wheel when I am in my truck, I am able to move around enough to change my shoes in there when I go to Wal Mart in the morning and for my walks at the track too. I love it! When I stand up from my chair, it is no longer an effort. I feel so light and strong when I stand up, not tired and heavy. I also can walk a mile at a standard track in less than 16 minutes now! So, for Three Things Thursday, I want you to tell me three physical tasks you can now do or you can do easier than before you started this journey. Have a great day ya'll!!

Day 104 Probably Too Competitive

Hey guys. I may have a problem. I may be too competitive. Tonight I came home and Kathy had not started supper yet, so I told her I was going to go for a walk for a couple of miles. I got a mile in and then Lauren wanted to go on my next lap, so I invited her along. About a 1/4 of a lap in, she decides she can walk faster than me, so I prove her wrong. She tries doing a half run to try to beat me, so I show her she can't again. So she says "I KNOW I can run faster than you!" So I say go for it. We had started up the hill I talk about all the time and so when we took off and I started to beat her, she claimed that it was because it was up hill. So she then tried to ambush me most of the way up the hill and I still beat her, so she then claimed she had a cramp because she had already ran. So we go on around to the flat part of my block which goes in front of my house, and she once again tries to outrun me! I once again out sprinted her and beat her to the door! It was pretty funny, but now I am sore! My abs are killing me! But all I am taking from this, I outran my 9 year old! haha.

I also think my POS Wal Mart high tops have been doing a poor job of taking care of my feet when I walk. I put on my Skechers for walking today and even though they are not high tops, they seemed to work a lot better for my walking this morning at Wal Mart. I am wondering if my ankles could be hurting because of those crappy shoes! I will be hacked if I wasted twenty bucks and have slacked off on running for having bought the damn shoes!

Day 103 Self Fulfilling Prophecies

I had an interesting IM conversation with a friend today. Pam and I used to work together at my old law firm and I came to know and love Pam dearly. I had just begun my journey like two weeks before I departed the old firm. Pam had gotten caught up in my whirlwind and decided she too wanted to get fit and eat better, so she started doing a modified version of I want to say the flat belly diet. So during our IM conversation yesterday, Pam conceded our competition to me saying I win. I asked her why she would say that and she said I cheated on my diet. I said so, I had a bad Saturday and I am right back on track. She replied with I will probably cheat tomorrow to. I have been cheating a lot. So I called her out on a self fulfilling prophecy. So as I was driving home last night, I was thinking how that term is generally used with a negative connotation. But here is the thing. I am about to be the benefactor of a self fulfilling prophecy. Knowing that Thanksgiving is just right around the corner and knowing that my new November 30 goal is important to me, I came up with a plan. I am going to not only limit myself to 500 calories extra on Turkey Day, but I am going to take those 4 days off work and use them to over exercise to the tune of making myself get 20 miles walked those four days. Then it dawned on me that this will be a self fulfilling prophecy, only one that is good. I guess that is all a fancy way to say that planning is key, and planning well is the key to success. If you don't foresee a problem and make a plan, such as when I saw Thanksgiving as a hurdle in my quest for 230 by November 30 and decided how to handle that, then you are leaving yourself open to creating a situation in which you are prone to making mistakes. And I sometimes wonder if people like my friend like that opening. If it isn't built in on purpose, to allow them to fail. Have ya'll ever had that happen? I am positive I have done it subconsciously. I would bet my house on it. I have 'dieted' a lot in my years but somehow always came off for various reasons. I don't recall specifics, but I am betting I created situations that enabled me to slip and stay off the wagon. Well no more! I am a wagon riding fool, and good luck getting me off of it!!

Day 102 The Shane Exrress Is Back On Track

Since some of my blogger friends kinda expressed subtly that my Saturday transgression worried them, I want to say this. THE SHANE EXPRESS IS BACK ON TRACK!! I have had the most wonderful two days the last couple of days. I have been dead on on eating and my taking a day to rest my legs paid off. I now have fresh legs for the first time in a really long time! I was zooming around Wal Mart this morning like a man possessed! It was great to have a little something in my step today. I had been fighting fatigue I think. I am addicted to walking, but I am not in the shape to be doing the miles I have been apparently. I won't stop trying mind you, but I am going to try to be more mindful to my legs from now on. Probably not really but it sounds good. I am actually already trying to figure out how many miles I can get in tomorrow. It is looking like 4 or 5 optimistically. I need those miles dang it!

I got my old fried Growly McStomach back today and it settled my nerves to have him around. I like him, makes me feel good about me. I do like to tease him with like 6 peanuts or almonds when he gets to talking. It makes me smile when he shuts up for that little bit of food. I am still in awe of the fact that tonight, my total calories for the day was 1380 and I used to do that for a meal usually!! And I ain't starving, so how was it that was before? I will never get Pre Journey Shane. He was an odd duck.

I have had to come to terms with something over the last few days. I don't think I am going to get to be the runner I know I can be. My ankles are grown in wrong and it actually caused me a great deal of grief a few years back before I got to a foot doctor and they got me orhtotics for my shoes. I can walk comfortably now, but the doctor warned me to not try to run anymore. I failed at that, but because I so love running. WEll my ankles have been hurting pretty bad here lately and that is without running much, so I am going to try to maybe pull some more weight off me and try again in a few more pounds to see if the ankles may feel better with added muscles and lower body weight.

Oh, and I have a new personal goal. I want to be 230 pounds by the end of November. I am at 242 right now, so I think it is doable. I have decided that I will not have any more days like Saturday, I will keep putting together high mileage days of walking, and I will be extra careful to not eat out of control on Thanksgiving. I think I am in good shape because even if I allow the extra 500 for the day I am thinking about, I have four days off that are likely going to be days I use to get a ton o' walking in!! I wouldn't doubt I will put up 20 miles that weekend! I may start tracking my miles on here somehow just so I can see it in black and white. Ok folks, old man is ready for some slee.......zzzzzzzzzz.