I am a type A personality for the most part. And as a type A, I am not one to go at things lightly. It is full force ahead if I am undertaking it. I am that guy that will never take a break because if I am done with the project, that is the break. But to go along with my type A personality, I have the flaw of thinking that if I am not 100% succeeding, I am 100% failing. Perhaps I am not progressing fast enough, perhaps I am not meeting my progressive goals I set for myself, or perhaps I am being an idiot because at some point, I didn't use my brain and now feel like it set me back from making my goal and that is unrecoverable time for me. Basically, I am really hard on myself. I do recognize this, but I can't seem to beat it out of me. And I feel like that has become a stumbling block on my road to a healthy lifestyle.
So I am writing this down, making it real and telling all of you too, so that if you see me slipping, you can call me out on it. I am not going to be mad at myself for not being Mr. 100 mph. I am not going to decide that being 150 calories over budget is a blight on my character. I am not going to believe that a loss of 20 pounds over 6 months is a joke because last time I lost 20 pounds in 2 months. My hard charging may have gotten me ahead in some facets of my life, but I think that it has only sabotaged me in my quest to eat healthier, and lose weight at a healthy pace. I told someone the other day, the worst thing that has ever happened to me is having been so super successful at my last effort to gain a healthy lifestyle (well relative success, being as I didn't stay at my healthier weight)
So I want to list what I have done here and recognize that despite what I may believe, these are significant accomplishments from where I started to where I am now. For example, I never, even on the weekends, eat a big, fat laden, calorie dense, unhealthy breakfast. It is some combination of 2 oz of spicy sausage, 2 eggs, oatmeal, and some fruit, usually an apple. I don't eat much for lunch, if I eat an actual lunch at all. Most of my snacking is protein bars or shakes, some almonds or a pumpkin seed and other grains snack bar. 2-3 days a week, I have some form of left over chicken breast for lunch. The weekends are a little less certain lunchwise, but not too far off. I have cut waaaaaaay down on sodas. I used to buy a 6 pack of the 20 oz bottle twice a week. Now I have the fountain drink version every other day or so. And even in the fountain drink soda realm, I have made progress. I used to get the 44 oz cup, then I graduated to the 32 oz cup. I am currently on the 20 oz cup and eyeballing the 16 oz cup next! I did that because I am trying to retrain my brain to not believe I need the biggest everything. I can't help but realize that has also been the biggest issue in my life. If I like it, give me the biggest one, or fill up the plate, or go back for seconds! Now I am working on no seconds at supper, which isn't as big a problem as it used to be, but I am trying to make it be never an issue.
Long story short, I am working at being ok with being consistent but not kicking ass. I am trying to be ok with a medium pace and not expecting that I excel in pounds/inches lost like I did previously. I am retraining my brain with respect to my journey to a healthy lifestyle. I think that if I can take the pressure I feel to excel off of this aspect of my life, then my disappointments, deserved or not, will not be able to derail my efforts.
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
Thursday, September 3, 2015
What You Didn't Do
So often in life we, mark success by what we did. Finished high school. Check. Got married to your soul mate. Check. Built a life that makes you happy. Check. But I think we as a group have just as much to be proud of in the check list of things we didn't do.
When you struggle through many false starts in an effort to get to a healthier weight and a healthier lifestyle, there are lots of chances to do the easy thing, to let life get to you and just give up and give in. If you are reading this, then you didn't do many things:
1. You didn't look at the last "failed attempt" (which I am now considering a tutorial on what doesn't work) as the end of the dream. It was a speed bump, but in reality, it was just a lesson in algebra where you got the wrong answer, but got to work with the formula that will get you the right answer eventually.
2. You didn't let yourself, your friends, or your situation convince you that this is a pointless endeavor. You recognize deep within yourself that this is about changing a situation that you don't like and will continue to not like until you fix it.
3. You didn't walk away. Most of us retreated, we went to a dark or a safe place and holed up for a minute or two, but we came back. Retreat often gets treated as a battle lost. But if you read about war tactics, battles have been won by retreating, using that retreat to regroup, and coming back with a new strategy!!
4. You didn't lose all hope that you can do this. You clearly picked yourself up, dusted yourself off, and got back on that horse.
5. You didn't go quietly into the night. You are making noise yet again. This time will be different that all the rest, and you believe that!!
Be proud of all that you have done, but never forget that almost all of those things would never have come to fruition except for all the things you didn't do.
When you struggle through many false starts in an effort to get to a healthier weight and a healthier lifestyle, there are lots of chances to do the easy thing, to let life get to you and just give up and give in. If you are reading this, then you didn't do many things:
1. You didn't look at the last "failed attempt" (which I am now considering a tutorial on what doesn't work) as the end of the dream. It was a speed bump, but in reality, it was just a lesson in algebra where you got the wrong answer, but got to work with the formula that will get you the right answer eventually.
2. You didn't let yourself, your friends, or your situation convince you that this is a pointless endeavor. You recognize deep within yourself that this is about changing a situation that you don't like and will continue to not like until you fix it.
3. You didn't walk away. Most of us retreated, we went to a dark or a safe place and holed up for a minute or two, but we came back. Retreat often gets treated as a battle lost. But if you read about war tactics, battles have been won by retreating, using that retreat to regroup, and coming back with a new strategy!!
4. You didn't lose all hope that you can do this. You clearly picked yourself up, dusted yourself off, and got back on that horse.
5. You didn't go quietly into the night. You are making noise yet again. This time will be different that all the rest, and you believe that!!
Be proud of all that you have done, but never forget that almost all of those things would never have come to fruition except for all the things you didn't do.
Wednesday, September 2, 2015
This Plan Is My Plan, That Plan Is Your Plan, Each Plan Was Made Individually!
First off, I want to give a shout out to Sean Anderson and Gerri Helms. I really appreciate the opportunity to join the support group and the benefit that inures from it. I can honestly say I feel like I have found another gear in my efforts. It is great to have a safe and friendly group that you can come to with the things that rattle around in your head about your fears, concerns, worries, etc. and also a place to come and share you success stories with those who get that they are a big deal!
So on to business. One thing that I have found I am having trouble with is that I have this plan for myself. I want to stay under 2100 calories gross, not net. I want to get organized activity in 3-5 times a week. I want to not plant my butt on the couch all the time at the end of the day. I want to at minimum keep my diet soda consumption to 1-2 a week. Long term, maybe get rid of them all together. Anyway, you get the idea. The one problem I have with a group dynamic, is that I suddenly start seeing one guy who is so dedicated that he researches whether something has sugar in it before he will eat it. I have one girl who can plan her meals out long term and know what is coming down the pipe calorie wise. I have another guy that is similarly situated to me age and weight wise who is getting by on 1600-1800 calories a day. In a nutshell, I am feeling like my plan is inadequate compared to the other plans and goals I see. That is the first step in failing to continue on for no good reason. I really need to get ahold of this and nip it in the bud. We didn't come off the assembly line, and what each of us requires to get where we are going, which also varies wildly from one person to the next, means that we can't compare plans and think we are worse off, or even better off for that matter, than our comrades in arms. I don't have an issue with sugar, so I don't need to guard against that. Most people don't have the issue with diet soda, so they don't have to guard against that. Some folks don't get hungry on 1600-1800 calories a day, so they can do that. I am not them. They are not me. My plan is my plan, their plan is their plan. And comparison is not needed.
What is needed is to focus in on your plan. Ask yourself, is this working? Did I drop weight/inches this week? Is my energy level higher than it has been historically? Am I able to be true to my plan without excessive struggles? If the answer to these are all yes, then there is nothing wrong with your plan. But that line of questioning has to be examined regularly, because as we all know, the journey changes with your progress. My 2100 calorie goal may have to go up or down, my exercise goal may have to change based on a plateau. But no matter what, the only plan that matters is your plan.
So on to business. One thing that I have found I am having trouble with is that I have this plan for myself. I want to stay under 2100 calories gross, not net. I want to get organized activity in 3-5 times a week. I want to not plant my butt on the couch all the time at the end of the day. I want to at minimum keep my diet soda consumption to 1-2 a week. Long term, maybe get rid of them all together. Anyway, you get the idea. The one problem I have with a group dynamic, is that I suddenly start seeing one guy who is so dedicated that he researches whether something has sugar in it before he will eat it. I have one girl who can plan her meals out long term and know what is coming down the pipe calorie wise. I have another guy that is similarly situated to me age and weight wise who is getting by on 1600-1800 calories a day. In a nutshell, I am feeling like my plan is inadequate compared to the other plans and goals I see. That is the first step in failing to continue on for no good reason. I really need to get ahold of this and nip it in the bud. We didn't come off the assembly line, and what each of us requires to get where we are going, which also varies wildly from one person to the next, means that we can't compare plans and think we are worse off, or even better off for that matter, than our comrades in arms. I don't have an issue with sugar, so I don't need to guard against that. Most people don't have the issue with diet soda, so they don't have to guard against that. Some folks don't get hungry on 1600-1800 calories a day, so they can do that. I am not them. They are not me. My plan is my plan, their plan is their plan. And comparison is not needed.
What is needed is to focus in on your plan. Ask yourself, is this working? Did I drop weight/inches this week? Is my energy level higher than it has been historically? Am I able to be true to my plan without excessive struggles? If the answer to these are all yes, then there is nothing wrong with your plan. But that line of questioning has to be examined regularly, because as we all know, the journey changes with your progress. My 2100 calorie goal may have to go up or down, my exercise goal may have to change based on a plateau. But no matter what, the only plan that matters is your plan.
Monday, August 3, 2015
That Day
As a veteran in the losing weight and getting in shape only to back track, there is one thing I always remember from each initial success that later turned to failure. There was always that one day that I knew the tide was turning. Whether it be that I had a great work out and it didn't kill me like it used to, or that the shirt I love so much is now far far too big on me to be wearing in public, or that I sat in a booth at a restaurant and my belly didn't touch the table.
Today was the "That Day" for me. I got up this morning and put on my favorite red shirt. As I started to button it, I noticed that there was a bit more room than usual. I then went on to work where I was met with several stressful situations all at once. And rather than biding my time thinking about what to go get for lunch that would allegedly make me feel less stress (but create new stress after, am I right?), I was fascinated with getting to my gym and getting a good workout in to bust the stress. When I got there, I almost had a milestone. As I talked about here while back, I have an obsession with pull ups, and I bought a assist band to help me get going on them. I was just a foot away from doing 10 pull ups on my first set!! I also had bigger than usual numbers on my successive sets!
Once a week, I do one workout where I lift weights, and in between each set, I go run on the treadmill for 1 minute at 5 mph. Today, I actually toyed with the idea of turning up the speed, because that speed was no longer challenging me like it had historically!! I mean I knew I had run, but I was not fatigued or breathing nearly as hard as usual.
So here is the challenge. Keep working, keep persisting in whatever your personal fitness endeavor may be. Strive for your "That Day" and when it gets here, know that from that point forward, it is largely a down hill race. I am NOT saying there will never be challenges after that, but the road is paved after That Day and the potholes are not nearly as rough as the gravel road you just came off of.
Today was the "That Day" for me. I got up this morning and put on my favorite red shirt. As I started to button it, I noticed that there was a bit more room than usual. I then went on to work where I was met with several stressful situations all at once. And rather than biding my time thinking about what to go get for lunch that would allegedly make me feel less stress (but create new stress after, am I right?), I was fascinated with getting to my gym and getting a good workout in to bust the stress. When I got there, I almost had a milestone. As I talked about here while back, I have an obsession with pull ups, and I bought a assist band to help me get going on them. I was just a foot away from doing 10 pull ups on my first set!! I also had bigger than usual numbers on my successive sets!
Once a week, I do one workout where I lift weights, and in between each set, I go run on the treadmill for 1 minute at 5 mph. Today, I actually toyed with the idea of turning up the speed, because that speed was no longer challenging me like it had historically!! I mean I knew I had run, but I was not fatigued or breathing nearly as hard as usual.
So here is the challenge. Keep working, keep persisting in whatever your personal fitness endeavor may be. Strive for your "That Day" and when it gets here, know that from that point forward, it is largely a down hill race. I am NOT saying there will never be challenges after that, but the road is paved after That Day and the potholes are not nearly as rough as the gravel road you just came off of.
Saturday, August 1, 2015
No More Fiction
In the law, there is a thing called a legal fiction. So for example, if there is an accident that a husband and a wife are involved in, and one dies immediately and another a few days later, for the purposes of an estate, in certain situations, the law creates a legal fiction that they both died at the same time, despite the reality of a time lapse.
I have been previously trying to pretend like this journey after my relapse/regain is a fresh effort, and I am a newbie just trying to find my way. I am done with that. I know what to do to get where I want to go. What I don't know (yet) is how to get where I am trying to go without a return trip. I need to stop focusing on the map, I know the directions. I need to start focusing on what I am going to do when I get to my new hometown of Healthyville. Am I looking too far ahead and in danger of running off the road because I became a distracted driver? I don't think so. I have had at LEAST 4 successful significant weight losses. History says I can get down to a healthy weight, what it doesn't show is that I can stay there. I need to put in place tools that will help me stay thinner, and will keep me from heading back to OhCrapville. I don't have that yet, but with a minimum of 70 pounds to go before I get to Healthyville, I have time to work that out.
I have been previously trying to pretend like this journey after my relapse/regain is a fresh effort, and I am a newbie just trying to find my way. I am done with that. I know what to do to get where I want to go. What I don't know (yet) is how to get where I am trying to go without a return trip. I need to stop focusing on the map, I know the directions. I need to start focusing on what I am going to do when I get to my new hometown of Healthyville. Am I looking too far ahead and in danger of running off the road because I became a distracted driver? I don't think so. I have had at LEAST 4 successful significant weight losses. History says I can get down to a healthy weight, what it doesn't show is that I can stay there. I need to put in place tools that will help me stay thinner, and will keep me from heading back to OhCrapville. I don't have that yet, but with a minimum of 70 pounds to go before I get to Healthyville, I have time to work that out.
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
Broken Record Maybe, But I Think It Is A Critical Concept
If you were so inclined, you could go back through this blog and my social media and other such forms of communications I use, and the one thing I have said ad nauseum, I truly believe to be a key component to a successful lifestyle change. I think that no matter what progress you make, you have to embrace that and treat it as a reason to celebrate (and I don't mean by going to grab a Snickers bar, I just mean rejoice in the moment! haha).
For example, and here is another thing that if you would look, I have droned on about as well, I have a night time eating problem. I can be spot on nailed it, holy crap he is good all day. But come 6 o'clock, Katie Bar the Door!! I will devour anything that comes into my sight! So for the last 3 evenings, I have had a yogurt after supper, and that is it. Is that a huge deal? Nope. But I got to bed each night overjoyed that tonight, I did not fall off the wagon and go binge like I wanted to! That first night, that was the cornerstone of something big to come, but really, was it a hooping and hollering event? YES, YES IT MOST CERTAINLY WAS!! Will it be an even bigger event when I have done that a week straight, or a month straight? Sure, but never ever take away the gravity of a small victory. 1,000 small victories in battles, lead to wars being won.
Secondly, never ever let a goal you didn't reach in the time frame you set out erase whatever progress you did make. Ever. Progress is to be celebrated no matter what! I have a weird fascination with doing pull ups right now. In February, I bought myself a pull up assist band so that I could get started doing them properly, and eventually wean my self off the band. My goal was to be doing 4 sets of 10 with the band by the end of this month. That was not to be though. However, on day one with the band, I could do two sets of 3, and then for my last two sets, I could do 1 pull up, then I jumped up to a finished position and lowered myself down slowly as I could. Yesterday, I did 1st set 7 pull ups, second set 5 pull ups, third set found 7 more in me, and final set was 5 again. I will not have reached goal by weeks end obviously, but man, yesterday I was much much better than I was starting out. I walked out feeling pretty dang studly!
This is kinda unrelated, but I want to put it out there. I have known that I have had insulin resistance for quite sometime. It went away when I lost weight in 2010-2011. But when I started gaining again, I did the ostrich move of putting my head in the sand and choosing not to see how well my blood sugar was doing. I have pulled my head out (of what you can use your imagination as needed) and started tracking my blood sugar again. I can tell you this, I am much more motivated to eat right and exercise based on seeing those blood sugar numbers. If you suspect that you may have insulin resistance, my suggestion to you is to go buy a meter and the test strips, and begin to track your blood sugar and how the foods you eat affect it. I learned yesterday, I do not need to be eating bananas. I learned last week that eating that "diet soup" that was the rage in the late 90s actually lowers my blood sugar. It is a great tool and will fascinate you, which in turn keeps your mind focused on the task at hand of losing weight and getting healthier!
For example, and here is another thing that if you would look, I have droned on about as well, I have a night time eating problem. I can be spot on nailed it, holy crap he is good all day. But come 6 o'clock, Katie Bar the Door!! I will devour anything that comes into my sight! So for the last 3 evenings, I have had a yogurt after supper, and that is it. Is that a huge deal? Nope. But I got to bed each night overjoyed that tonight, I did not fall off the wagon and go binge like I wanted to! That first night, that was the cornerstone of something big to come, but really, was it a hooping and hollering event? YES, YES IT MOST CERTAINLY WAS!! Will it be an even bigger event when I have done that a week straight, or a month straight? Sure, but never ever take away the gravity of a small victory. 1,000 small victories in battles, lead to wars being won.
Secondly, never ever let a goal you didn't reach in the time frame you set out erase whatever progress you did make. Ever. Progress is to be celebrated no matter what! I have a weird fascination with doing pull ups right now. In February, I bought myself a pull up assist band so that I could get started doing them properly, and eventually wean my self off the band. My goal was to be doing 4 sets of 10 with the band by the end of this month. That was not to be though. However, on day one with the band, I could do two sets of 3, and then for my last two sets, I could do 1 pull up, then I jumped up to a finished position and lowered myself down slowly as I could. Yesterday, I did 1st set 7 pull ups, second set 5 pull ups, third set found 7 more in me, and final set was 5 again. I will not have reached goal by weeks end obviously, but man, yesterday I was much much better than I was starting out. I walked out feeling pretty dang studly!
This is kinda unrelated, but I want to put it out there. I have known that I have had insulin resistance for quite sometime. It went away when I lost weight in 2010-2011. But when I started gaining again, I did the ostrich move of putting my head in the sand and choosing not to see how well my blood sugar was doing. I have pulled my head out (of what you can use your imagination as needed) and started tracking my blood sugar again. I can tell you this, I am much more motivated to eat right and exercise based on seeing those blood sugar numbers. If you suspect that you may have insulin resistance, my suggestion to you is to go buy a meter and the test strips, and begin to track your blood sugar and how the foods you eat affect it. I learned yesterday, I do not need to be eating bananas. I learned last week that eating that "diet soup" that was the rage in the late 90s actually lowers my blood sugar. It is a great tool and will fascinate you, which in turn keeps your mind focused on the task at hand of losing weight and getting healthier!
Monday, April 6, 2015
Not Too Fast, But Not Really Slow
I ran in another organized 5k this weekend. I set out with a goal of getting my minutes per mile down, and finishing below 40 minutes. I managed to do both!
I have been in a groove here lately with the help of some friends. I have been running 3 days a week and lifting weights 2 days a week. The other days I just stay active around the house. Quite frankly, I was getting a bit perplexed with my running for awhile. My first 5k I ran in, finished in 40 minutes 58 seconds. I ran one two weeks later and actually got slower, I think like 41 minutes 25 seconds. I was also having terrible times in my training runs! And I can't explain exactly what happened, but last Thursday, out of nowhere, my legs suddenly got froggy, and I had a great training run! I think I averaged 12 minutes and 24 seconds a mile. By Saturday I was feeling pretty good about getting my best 5k time on this pass. I pushed and pushed and by the time I crossed the finish line, I had finished with a time of 38 minutes 25 seconds! That put my miles per minute at 12:15!! Now that is not fast, but it also isn't slow. At my worst, I was running a 14:01 minutes per mile. That is pretty slow, at least in my eyes.
I think that this Saturday's race is a bit representative of my current lifestyle change. It isn't going real fast (I ain't losing tons of mass quickly) but it also isn't going slow ( I can run, I can fit into a few new shirts I had put back to work towards). And frankly, that is where I want to be. I am convinced I just went to fast and worked too hard at weight loss last time, and ultimately that was not a plan for success for me. I think not being Type A personality in this aspect of my life will ultimately lead to success. I think going slow and changing things gradually will be what makes the lifestyle change stick on this go around. It lets me learn new things, it lets my body get used to the changes and not go into freak out mode, and the changes I make are more ingrained in me.
I like where I am right now. And just like in my running, I plan to keep on training to get better, but not overtraining and risking injury(failure). I will get my distance and speeds back up in running by training sensibly and I will make this lifestyle change stick, by making small changes a little at a time, and making them my norm rather than a change.
I have been in a groove here lately with the help of some friends. I have been running 3 days a week and lifting weights 2 days a week. The other days I just stay active around the house. Quite frankly, I was getting a bit perplexed with my running for awhile. My first 5k I ran in, finished in 40 minutes 58 seconds. I ran one two weeks later and actually got slower, I think like 41 minutes 25 seconds. I was also having terrible times in my training runs! And I can't explain exactly what happened, but last Thursday, out of nowhere, my legs suddenly got froggy, and I had a great training run! I think I averaged 12 minutes and 24 seconds a mile. By Saturday I was feeling pretty good about getting my best 5k time on this pass. I pushed and pushed and by the time I crossed the finish line, I had finished with a time of 38 minutes 25 seconds! That put my miles per minute at 12:15!! Now that is not fast, but it also isn't slow. At my worst, I was running a 14:01 minutes per mile. That is pretty slow, at least in my eyes.
I think that this Saturday's race is a bit representative of my current lifestyle change. It isn't going real fast (I ain't losing tons of mass quickly) but it also isn't going slow ( I can run, I can fit into a few new shirts I had put back to work towards). And frankly, that is where I want to be. I am convinced I just went to fast and worked too hard at weight loss last time, and ultimately that was not a plan for success for me. I think not being Type A personality in this aspect of my life will ultimately lead to success. I think going slow and changing things gradually will be what makes the lifestyle change stick on this go around. It lets me learn new things, it lets my body get used to the changes and not go into freak out mode, and the changes I make are more ingrained in me.
I like where I am right now. And just like in my running, I plan to keep on training to get better, but not overtraining and risking injury(failure). I will get my distance and speeds back up in running by training sensibly and I will make this lifestyle change stick, by making small changes a little at a time, and making them my norm rather than a change.
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