I am a type A personality for the most part. And as a type A, I am not one to go at things lightly. It is full force ahead if I am undertaking it. I am that guy that will never take a break because if I am done with the project, that is the break. But to go along with my type A personality, I have the flaw of thinking that if I am not 100% succeeding, I am 100% failing. Perhaps I am not progressing fast enough, perhaps I am not meeting my progressive goals I set for myself, or perhaps I am being an idiot because at some point, I didn't use my brain and now feel like it set me back from making my goal and that is unrecoverable time for me. Basically, I am really hard on myself. I do recognize this, but I can't seem to beat it out of me. And I feel like that has become a stumbling block on my road to a healthy lifestyle.
So I am writing this down, making it real and telling all of you too, so that if you see me slipping, you can call me out on it. I am not going to be mad at myself for not being Mr. 100 mph. I am not going to decide that being 150 calories over budget is a blight on my character. I am not going to believe that a loss of 20 pounds over 6 months is a joke because last time I lost 20 pounds in 2 months. My hard charging may have gotten me ahead in some facets of my life, but I think that it has only sabotaged me in my quest to eat healthier, and lose weight at a healthy pace. I told someone the other day, the worst thing that has ever happened to me is having been so super successful at my last effort to gain a healthy lifestyle (well relative success, being as I didn't stay at my healthier weight)
So I want to list what I have done here and recognize that despite what I may believe, these are significant accomplishments from where I started to where I am now. For example, I never, even on the weekends, eat a big, fat laden, calorie dense, unhealthy breakfast. It is some combination of 2 oz of spicy sausage, 2 eggs, oatmeal, and some fruit, usually an apple. I don't eat much for lunch, if I eat an actual lunch at all. Most of my snacking is protein bars or shakes, some almonds or a pumpkin seed and other grains snack bar. 2-3 days a week, I have some form of left over chicken breast for lunch. The weekends are a little less certain lunchwise, but not too far off. I have cut waaaaaaay down on sodas. I used to buy a 6 pack of the 20 oz bottle twice a week. Now I have the fountain drink version every other day or so. And even in the fountain drink soda realm, I have made progress. I used to get the 44 oz cup, then I graduated to the 32 oz cup. I am currently on the 20 oz cup and eyeballing the 16 oz cup next! I did that because I am trying to retrain my brain to not believe I need the biggest everything. I can't help but realize that has also been the biggest issue in my life. If I like it, give me the biggest one, or fill up the plate, or go back for seconds! Now I am working on no seconds at supper, which isn't as big a problem as it used to be, but I am trying to make it be never an issue.
Long story short, I am working at being ok with being consistent but not kicking ass. I am trying to be ok with a medium pace and not expecting that I excel in pounds/inches lost like I did previously. I am retraining my brain with respect to my journey to a healthy lifestyle. I think that if I can take the pressure I feel to excel off of this aspect of my life, then my disappointments, deserved or not, will not be able to derail my efforts.
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
Thursday, September 3, 2015
What You Didn't Do
So often in life we, mark success by what we did. Finished high school. Check. Got married to your soul mate. Check. Built a life that makes you happy. Check. But I think we as a group have just as much to be proud of in the check list of things we didn't do.
When you struggle through many false starts in an effort to get to a healthier weight and a healthier lifestyle, there are lots of chances to do the easy thing, to let life get to you and just give up and give in. If you are reading this, then you didn't do many things:
1. You didn't look at the last "failed attempt" (which I am now considering a tutorial on what doesn't work) as the end of the dream. It was a speed bump, but in reality, it was just a lesson in algebra where you got the wrong answer, but got to work with the formula that will get you the right answer eventually.
2. You didn't let yourself, your friends, or your situation convince you that this is a pointless endeavor. You recognize deep within yourself that this is about changing a situation that you don't like and will continue to not like until you fix it.
3. You didn't walk away. Most of us retreated, we went to a dark or a safe place and holed up for a minute or two, but we came back. Retreat often gets treated as a battle lost. But if you read about war tactics, battles have been won by retreating, using that retreat to regroup, and coming back with a new strategy!!
4. You didn't lose all hope that you can do this. You clearly picked yourself up, dusted yourself off, and got back on that horse.
5. You didn't go quietly into the night. You are making noise yet again. This time will be different that all the rest, and you believe that!!
Be proud of all that you have done, but never forget that almost all of those things would never have come to fruition except for all the things you didn't do.
When you struggle through many false starts in an effort to get to a healthier weight and a healthier lifestyle, there are lots of chances to do the easy thing, to let life get to you and just give up and give in. If you are reading this, then you didn't do many things:
1. You didn't look at the last "failed attempt" (which I am now considering a tutorial on what doesn't work) as the end of the dream. It was a speed bump, but in reality, it was just a lesson in algebra where you got the wrong answer, but got to work with the formula that will get you the right answer eventually.
2. You didn't let yourself, your friends, or your situation convince you that this is a pointless endeavor. You recognize deep within yourself that this is about changing a situation that you don't like and will continue to not like until you fix it.
3. You didn't walk away. Most of us retreated, we went to a dark or a safe place and holed up for a minute or two, but we came back. Retreat often gets treated as a battle lost. But if you read about war tactics, battles have been won by retreating, using that retreat to regroup, and coming back with a new strategy!!
4. You didn't lose all hope that you can do this. You clearly picked yourself up, dusted yourself off, and got back on that horse.
5. You didn't go quietly into the night. You are making noise yet again. This time will be different that all the rest, and you believe that!!
Be proud of all that you have done, but never forget that almost all of those things would never have come to fruition except for all the things you didn't do.
Wednesday, September 2, 2015
This Plan Is My Plan, That Plan Is Your Plan, Each Plan Was Made Individually!
First off, I want to give a shout out to Sean Anderson and Gerri Helms. I really appreciate the opportunity to join the support group and the benefit that inures from it. I can honestly say I feel like I have found another gear in my efforts. It is great to have a safe and friendly group that you can come to with the things that rattle around in your head about your fears, concerns, worries, etc. and also a place to come and share you success stories with those who get that they are a big deal!
So on to business. One thing that I have found I am having trouble with is that I have this plan for myself. I want to stay under 2100 calories gross, not net. I want to get organized activity in 3-5 times a week. I want to not plant my butt on the couch all the time at the end of the day. I want to at minimum keep my diet soda consumption to 1-2 a week. Long term, maybe get rid of them all together. Anyway, you get the idea. The one problem I have with a group dynamic, is that I suddenly start seeing one guy who is so dedicated that he researches whether something has sugar in it before he will eat it. I have one girl who can plan her meals out long term and know what is coming down the pipe calorie wise. I have another guy that is similarly situated to me age and weight wise who is getting by on 1600-1800 calories a day. In a nutshell, I am feeling like my plan is inadequate compared to the other plans and goals I see. That is the first step in failing to continue on for no good reason. I really need to get ahold of this and nip it in the bud. We didn't come off the assembly line, and what each of us requires to get where we are going, which also varies wildly from one person to the next, means that we can't compare plans and think we are worse off, or even better off for that matter, than our comrades in arms. I don't have an issue with sugar, so I don't need to guard against that. Most people don't have the issue with diet soda, so they don't have to guard against that. Some folks don't get hungry on 1600-1800 calories a day, so they can do that. I am not them. They are not me. My plan is my plan, their plan is their plan. And comparison is not needed.
What is needed is to focus in on your plan. Ask yourself, is this working? Did I drop weight/inches this week? Is my energy level higher than it has been historically? Am I able to be true to my plan without excessive struggles? If the answer to these are all yes, then there is nothing wrong with your plan. But that line of questioning has to be examined regularly, because as we all know, the journey changes with your progress. My 2100 calorie goal may have to go up or down, my exercise goal may have to change based on a plateau. But no matter what, the only plan that matters is your plan.
So on to business. One thing that I have found I am having trouble with is that I have this plan for myself. I want to stay under 2100 calories gross, not net. I want to get organized activity in 3-5 times a week. I want to not plant my butt on the couch all the time at the end of the day. I want to at minimum keep my diet soda consumption to 1-2 a week. Long term, maybe get rid of them all together. Anyway, you get the idea. The one problem I have with a group dynamic, is that I suddenly start seeing one guy who is so dedicated that he researches whether something has sugar in it before he will eat it. I have one girl who can plan her meals out long term and know what is coming down the pipe calorie wise. I have another guy that is similarly situated to me age and weight wise who is getting by on 1600-1800 calories a day. In a nutshell, I am feeling like my plan is inadequate compared to the other plans and goals I see. That is the first step in failing to continue on for no good reason. I really need to get ahold of this and nip it in the bud. We didn't come off the assembly line, and what each of us requires to get where we are going, which also varies wildly from one person to the next, means that we can't compare plans and think we are worse off, or even better off for that matter, than our comrades in arms. I don't have an issue with sugar, so I don't need to guard against that. Most people don't have the issue with diet soda, so they don't have to guard against that. Some folks don't get hungry on 1600-1800 calories a day, so they can do that. I am not them. They are not me. My plan is my plan, their plan is their plan. And comparison is not needed.
What is needed is to focus in on your plan. Ask yourself, is this working? Did I drop weight/inches this week? Is my energy level higher than it has been historically? Am I able to be true to my plan without excessive struggles? If the answer to these are all yes, then there is nothing wrong with your plan. But that line of questioning has to be examined regularly, because as we all know, the journey changes with your progress. My 2100 calorie goal may have to go up or down, my exercise goal may have to change based on a plateau. But no matter what, the only plan that matters is your plan.
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