Some Conflicting Data

I am getting some conflicting data quite frankly. Let me explain. I am not to weight until next monday, but I will admit that I have not been as on course eating wise as I would like. It hasn't been a shamble by any means, but with Slimmer for Summer challenge coming up, I am looking to change my evening snacking habits by way of the challenge, if that gives you any indication of where my problem area STILL lies. However, I am still active and working out a bit more strenuously with the weights and have began to concentrate on getting my core in good shape with three different types of crunches and weighted squats now. I still run on the weekends, and from 5 in the morning til 7 in the evening, I am good diet wise, it is that damn 7 o'clock mark that screws me every time! So anyway back to my conflicting data. I would think that given my malady, I would be standing still at best. Well without a weigh in, I can say this. I have a pair of shorts that I bought that are a 32 in the waist. When I bought them, I hadn't reached onderland yet, and they were snug. They fit, but I knew they were there the whole time I wore them. Now, they are a little loose in the waist. I went on a shopping trip about a month and a half ago with Kathy and while out, I bought me an Aeropostale shirt, cause I have always wanted one and there was a sale at Aeropostale. It has always fit me kinda snug when I first put it on then kinda loosened up after I wore it for a bit. I wore it yesterday and it was not snug when I first put it on. In fact, most of my shirts are starting to be a little looser on me, and they are all larges! So I can't weight to get a number on the scale but what if it hasn't gone down. Like most of us, I count on that number to define my journey. I am not sure if I could realistically be ok with a higher number even when evidence shows I am trimming up in inches. Anybody got any input on this?

The Effects of Heat and Air Conditioning

I have a question for ya'll. Does anyone else find themselves more drawn to the heat and a bit averse to the air conditioning now? I have spent the past week being cold at work and at home with the air conditioner running, and feeling perfectly fine outside when it is warm. In fact, I am perfectly content when it is 90 and humid, apart from the little sweat I get going on? I am curious if it is a side effect of weight loss or if I have just gotten all wonky and need to see a doctor.

Today is my birf-day, and I don't really care to be honest, but the one thing I am taking from this day is that it is the first in a great many years that I will not be mad at myself for letting another year go by as an extremely overweight person who is eating poorly, not exercising, and not living life to its fullest! I am blessed and love that the Lord has seen fit to let me conquer all those inadequacies, and I love that my family is going to get me for so much longer and I get to have them too!!

Crazy Shane

Crazy Shane is back! And I can honestly say that he wasn't too hard to bring back. I can walk away from food with no effort now that I am back. It just took some fire lighting. and I also forgot how much I liked the feeling of hunger. Weird I know, but it is true.

I was also thinking last night about how I love being sore. It is counter intuitive I know, but if my muscles hurt, I feel very powerful. I guess it is the knowledge that I worked them out and I can feel them now and KNOW they are there. I have been doing some pretty intensive ab and thigh workouts here lately and every time, I get pretty sore. I hurt, but like I said, knowing those muscles exist makes me feel just RAAAAAAARH!! Plus I was walking to my bedroom last night and just had a flash back of how sadly, that used to be a chore! Now I can hop, skip, leap frog, whatever I want to do to get back there and it not effect me. And the reason is simple. I was trying to ambulate a 300 pound body with 120 bodies worth of muscles. Now, the ratio has evened out! I love it!

I also spent the day wrapped up in my calories and how many I had taken in and how many I had burned for the day. I always write my calories down, but sometimes I stop and just add up how many I have taken in and figure up how many I have burned since I have been up and see physical proof that I am in a calorie deficit at the time and it makes me feel well in control quite frankly! And that is what most of us are lacking, feeling like we are in control.

That Apparently Did It

Quite frankly, I have been less that motivated for probably two months now. I keep trying to find my mojo, but it just hasn't been there. It hasn't helped that my weight was not changing significantly due to my not so great eating habits. But that scale number yesterday lit a fire! I told Kathy that "Crazy Shane" is back yesterday and she gave me the oh no look! haha. I blogged the other day about flipping that damn switch, well the not so wonderful weigh in was apparently just what I needed. Switch is flipped, determination is high, Crazy Shane is back on duty.

I am shocked at one thing. Before this particular journey, if I had seen me gain back 13 pounds, I would have called that the best reason ever to just give up and go back to enjoying food as I please. My rationalization skills are strong, they are. But this time, not so much. I seriously felt something click inside me and with the skills and habits I have gained over the last 9 months, it was not hard to figure out what I needed to do. It is not starting from square 1, it is starting from square 101. And I have learned a lesson. No matter how much I am working out, no matter how active I am being, my food intake has to be in question at all times, my body does not allow for activity apparently. It is all about the food intake.

Am I proud that I am where I am today? Nope. Am I defeated that I am where I am today? Nope. I am where I am but I am not where I am staying, and the direction I was headed is not my path. The path lies ahead of me. I will take this lesson and I will learn from it. Much like I learned from my lessons on this journey early on. This was not just a set back, it was a learning experience and a move forward with knowledge for the future. Now I know.

Lost Ground

I have not been weighing lately. I honestly have not had any reason to believe that I was in dire straights. My clothes fit me well, I am still able to do my workouts just fine, I am not in anyway exhibiting signs of the horrible number I saw this morning, but I saw it and I am on it, I will fight that number tooth and nail. 213 pounds. well out of Onderland!! But it is a short layover, and a lesson well learned in vigilance. I obviously cannot slack at all! Forward ho!

Yeah, It Rained On Me......

Back in the old days of Shane, there was no excuse miniscule enough for me to call a workout off. I could find any reason. Got a bit of a funny feeling in my calf,my hair don't look good enough for a day in the gym, a walk or anything else active, I better just make sure the TV doesn't walk away today, keep a close eye on it!! It didn't matter, I wasn't about to leave the comfort of my recliner if I could find a good reason.

Switch to May 20, 2011. I have gotten up, gotten my family up, gotten Lauren to school, and pulled up to Van Buren Park for my Friday jog. The skies look a bit ominous, but it is pretty far to the west of me it seems, so I can probably get 3 miles in real quick and beat it. So a little less than two miles in, nope, did not beat the rain!! Ok, I am coming up on the parking lot my truck is in, I could hop in and get out of here now! Yeah, I ain't gonna do that. One more lap and I get the three miles I set out for, soooo yup, see ya truck! I am so proud of the one thing that my hard headedness does for me with no negative repercussions.... haha!! I finished that run and felt awesome for it!

I woke up today and was trying to think of an alternative to just a straight out jog today. I think I am going to combine some old school with some new school. I am going to walk my butt off for two miles then jog for two miles today just for the heck of it! Something different to do and that is all. In fact, I think I will go right now!

Coffee Spilled And The Evolution Of A Day Off

So we have all had it happen. Especially us coffee drinkers, but just about all of us overweight people have had it happen with food too. The spill, the drip, the stain. And of course, that spill, that drip, that stain winds up where? On your shirt, right? Well now, the answer is WRONG! It now ends up on my pants!! I know it is silly to get excited over spilling coffee, but hey, it wound up on my pants!! Not my shirt, my pants! How cool is that?? I doubt that it is, but just in case the points in hidden here, my belly is no longer in the way of my lap, thus, my pants wind up the target in a spill. I find that to be pretty darn neat!

I will tell you the other thing I find fascinating, the evolution of what a day off with no work and no plans means to me now from what it used to mean to me. Previous to the weight loss, when I saw a day with no plans on for it coming down the pike, I would immediately think " ok, good sports watching day, get some movies lined up, spend the morning on the internet, big breakfast, fast food lunch, and prolly some pizza that night". Now, "ok, garage cleaned, weed eat the yard, get some more dog ears to replace the old ones on the privacy fence, see if I can get some more pansies to replace the drowned ones, detail Kathy's car, organize the back deck, clean out the pipe that lets water drain during rain through my drive way ditch, etc." and I get all giddy with anticipation to have work to do all day! I love it. I am also going to go for a distance jog today. I am going to get 4 miles in. I have an iPod now, with plenty of music and much more easy to operate that my old mp3 player. I think it is doable.

What are ya'lls plans for this weekend?

An Epidemic and That Damn Switch!!

It seems there has been somewhat of an epidemic here lately in the bloggers I follow. It seems we are all struggling a bit to "stay on course". I know I have not been the guy I was for 8 months. I kinda had life get in the way, had stresses galore, and thought I have only put on 3 pounds from my low, I just haven't been moving forward and eating well like I should. Not eating bad per se, but not eating well and getting on with my 190 goal. It seems many of us have kinda stalled and I was thinking about why. I think a lot of it has to do with how much energy is expended when you are being serious about getting leaner and healthier. I made it my life's goal 7 days a week for 8-9 months. It was my primary focus. I lived weight loss and healthy eating, to the extreme even. so with that being said, I guess I had a break in me. I would say that I have successfully implemented better eating habits. Even when eating more than I would like, the quality of the food was better for the most part. I am much more active now than I used to be which helped keep me from bloating back up when I was not doing so well. But the reality is that i need to push forward in my quest. I need to get to my next goal of 190 pounds.

So, I decided, it is time to "flip the switch" again. I did it on July 17,2010, with the help of the Almighty and some blogging friends, and I can do it again. So, here it is, the symbolic flipping of that switch. It is back on. I am back to me. I have a day already under my belt to build on. I had the most excellent eating day yesterday and it was even more fulfilling because I asked for it. I prayed yesterday that God be with me for both the morning, which I never really have issues with and the evening after work, which is where my eating issues crop up. and He, as always, answered by giving me some phenomenal resolve last night! So I am asking Him again today, to be with me, to guide my choices and help me edge toward my new goal of 190 pounds! I bet it works!!

Why Didn't I Think Of This Before?

Sometimes, you need to plan. It is hard to go through life and just "play it by ear" all the time. Sometimes you have to say "I am going to do this then" and then go do it and make it stick. That is how I got started on getting up early and exercising. I got up at 4 got my caffeine fix and then "just did it" Nike style. Well, lately, the getting up early has not been working for me in various areas of my life. I won't get into it, but it just hasn't made for good times. So I decided that I was going to make it a point to find a way to get my exercise in but maybe break it up into two sessions. One in the morning and one in the evening. I am out of school now and don't have that obligation at night. But even if I did, just a little commitment would take care of it. But anyway, on to the point. I decided that I was going to start getting some cardio or weight lifting at night. I want to get up a little later and stay up a little later than I have been. So yesterday morning, I lifted weights and committed myself to doing some cardio when I got home last night. I had Quorum Court, but it wrapped up fairly early last night and it was still daylight when I got home, so I grabbed my jump rope and headed to the back deck. Lauren followed me and for the next twenty minutes, we took turns seeing who could jump rope the longest and do the best trick jump roping. I won the first hands down, but the second Lauren ran away with. Then she asked to go for a jog around the block with me. I of course obliged and we took off. I taught her a lesson on pacing herself and we had a good time! I am hoping to rope Kathy into some sessions like that, so we can make getting more active a family activity and we all benefit from it. Again, why didn't I think of this before? And the unexpected benefit from the change. Not one urge to snack last night! I didn't sit down until after 8 and it was a great feeling to not once sit and think about getting up to snack! I can see the advantage to this change!

You Want A Challenge? Go To Branson To Jog!

As the title infers, we went to Branson, Missouri this weekend. My boss, the wonderful and awesome Cheryl Anderson, gave me and my family a free weekend in her condo up there. Cheryl is the greatest boss and one of the greatest people I have ever met in my ENTIRE lifetime. She is that person that you wish you could be. I am working on trying to follow her example, but seriously, she makes it difficult. I don't know if I can be as smart, benevolent, generous, compassionate, caring and talented as she is, but you know what, I have the example in front of me, I just need to learn from it.

So back to the jogging. Yeah. Branson I am pretty sure has ZERO flat spots. You are either jogging up a hill or down a hill. I got my butt kicked Saturday morning. It didn't help that Friday I also took on the hill that leads up to my office and was tired from that already. But I really got my behonkus handed to me Saturday morning. It is funny how you can DRIVE up hills and not really realize they are there. I never once realized that there were no flat spots until Saturday when I was praying for one to appear at some point about 20 minutes in!

I am thinking about retooling my workouts a little to combat some boredom I have been dealing with. I am thinking about throwing in some jump roping and some bicycling for my cardio. I am not abandoning jogging, I just have been struggling to find ways to make it work and not be boring and I am running out of realistic options to make it work in my time frame. plus I am tired of waking up so early in the morning. I am having a harder and harder time dragging my butt out of bed at 4 just to get caffeined up and ready to workout by 5.

So Kathy took a picture of me at the pool this weekend. I have over come my fear of shirtlessness in places I don't know people. it still isn't pretty, but hey, I don't know these people so who cares right? Then, she goes and puts it on Facebook! I had no idea that was where it was going when I let her take it. I just assumed it to be a me and her picture! Nope. It is out there for the world to see now! So you know what, I am going to own it. Here it is:

there you go. I did it. it was one of my goals in the beginning and it gives me something to build on. I need to improve so that I can have a shirtless picture without having a panic attack that Kathy may post it on Facebook! Challenge accepted!

Yes!! Now That Was a Good Day 1 of 1!

yeah, I knew I could do it, it was just a matter of doing it! So the second Day 1 of 1 rocked! Good food intake all day and no snacking except for one spoon of peanut butter right before bed! Suhweeet!

I have been working out with weights and doing crunches here lately. I think it is starting to show up, especially in my belly area. I can feel my abs starting to get even more strong. I added 10 more crunches than usual on the lower ab crunches, and I did two sets of the upper ab crunches and while my abs were feeling rough when I was done, I am not sore today! I am getting there! Slow but sure!

So now I am going to get all motivated and shoot for day 1 of 2!! Keep an eye out ya'll it could get interesting!

Aaaargh!!

So day 1 of 1 was phenomenal.... all the way till 9:30. I suck! I was at 1585, fell asleep in the chair, looked like a phenomenal day when snack monster hit me again. And here is the worst part. Probably would have survived, but there are hot dogs still in the fridge from the cookout we had on Saturday for my graduation. They got the best of me. I had two. So now, today is day 1 with a focus on the hours from 7 to 10. I will sit on my hands or something. I am good for most of the day, what is it about that last hour or two? dammit Jim!

So today is day 1 of 1 again. Only this time, I am gonna get the steel look on after supper. That point in time, I will pray harder, and harden my heart to the snacks. Period.

Day 1 of !

You read that right. Today is day 1 of 1. I have not been the best me I can be in the diet department. I am still good exercise wise, but I have taken to the habit of eating sweets, not eating good portions, and not being the me who got me to Onderland, but the me that has taken the train back out of Onerland. 201 is not acceptable to me. I am now taking a U-turn, and headed back. And rather than pledge some great turn around by the end of the month with some goal of weight, diet and exercise, I am pledging that TODAY, I will do the right thing in diet and exercise. My goal is to get through today doing the right thing. Not the week, not the month, TODAY! When I do that, we will see about some bigger goals, maybe like the next two days. But my goal is to get through TODAY and give myself some success to build on.

And the big day finally gets here!

Sitting on the back deck, watching the sunrise, drinking coffee and being introspective this morning. I remember all the years that I wished I had gotten an education, now I am on that road. I graduate with a bachelors degree today! I am not done, but it is a huuuuuuuge step. I have to admit, this big step has opened up worlds of opportunity for me. I never really could wrap my head around the idea of Shane as a professional, but now I am. Now I am headed to law school for an even more lucrative profession and I am excited ya'll! I am bedded abundantly and even though I am not sure I deserve it, I am extremely grateful.

I am especially excited to see my pictures this time around. I was ginormous last time, this picture should be more flattering. We shall see. I am looking forward to my get together after too. It is supposed to be a gorgeous day today and perfect for a cookout.


Ya'll have a great day and I will see ya tomorrow!

Not That I Didn't See That Coming

SWell my poor eating this past two weeks, it caught up to me in a big big way this morning. I put on 4.6 pounds folks. That sucks. But here is the good news. All the emotion is over with now! I am done done done and done. I took my last final last night. I realized something about an hour before the final. I am a guy that needs a challenge in front of me. I have to be moving forward in some aspect of my life. I was wondering what my challenge was going to be for this summer and it came to me out of the clear blue. I am going to take aim at 180 pounds with a ferocity now! I don't have law school for three more months, I don't have undergrad for the rest of my life, and I really really was headed down the scale fast, so that goal made a lot of sense! So tallyho!

I am starting off that mission with a run in the park this morning. I love when it is sunny and warm and I can just jog my path down there. I stick my earphones in, I hit the trail and just get all chilled out and calm. It really is sweet, no kiddin'. And today I have to get to gettin' to finish all the stuff on my agenda. I have to clean up the back yard, get it mowed, hopefully get the front yard mowed, though it is less critical, I am selling my last book back, going to the records office to request a copy of my final transcript be sent to law school when it is ready and do some banking. My in laws are heading this way and should be here this evening and I am ready for some yee haw city! Tomorrow is my graduation day, the day I worked so hard for all those years. I did a bit of a not like me thing last night. It so happened that I took my last test in the same building as my first class was in. My first class was American Government, and it was in the lecture hall that has those seats, you know the ones. They have the little desk thing that folds up and down. I remember being hugely embarrassed that I couldn't make it work cause I was so fat. I had to use the one for the chair next to me to write on. So I stopped by that lecture hall on the way out and sat down in one of those chairs and folded the desk up for it and sure enough, bam it fit!! So I was excited about that. I hate to admit this, but I found it hard to get myself to leave campus last night. I kept kinda moping and looking and reminiscing. I finally did get out of there, but it took longer than it should have.

Ok folks, I am off of here, and fixing to head back down south on the scale numbers. Be keeping an eye out, cause it's on like Donkey Kong!!

Squats Are Evil!

Yeah just what the heading says. I am trying to mix my workouts up a little here lately make them fresh and new to me. I added weight training back in last month and have been messing with my treadmill routine too. So yesterday, I decided to replace a good run with some squats. I did a total of 100 non weighted squats. WOW!! I am in a lot better shape than the last time I did squats, but it still has torn me up! I got deep muscles soreness in my quads, hams and glutes and can even tell a little in my lower abs! So those will be a part of my routine at least once a week now. I love a good challenge like I said. So today is gonna be interesting during the jog, cause I am hurting for realz!

I am so ready to get this school over with. Today is my last day. I did a bad bad thing yesterday. I pizza buffeted for lunch! I just keep giving in to the stress of this week and I am tired of it! Once today is over with, I am done. I am goal setting and I am achieving them. No going to law school a lard butt for me!

Never More Evident

Wow, I just can't believe I had such a struggle with my eating based solely on the stress of my upcoming finals and graduation. I just discovered, by way of contrast and comparison between a 16 hour period, how huge of a role stress can play in your resolve! I kid you not, I have been fighting a huge fight with my eating for the last 4-5 days. I had hell to pay every night when I got home trying to not snack my life away. I took my final in the hardest class I have last night, and it was literally like rock had been lifted off me. I came home and was fine! Not one uncontrollable snack urge at all! I just was happy to be. that is it, just be. I even managed to watch a movie, Unstoppable, on a weekday evening, which is not something that happens for me. It felt good too.

I picked up my honor stole yesterday from the school. It looks pretty cool if I do say so myself! I can't wait until Saturday and all the Pomp and Circumstance!! I participated in the graduation ceremony for my Associates Degree, but it was at the behest of my wife and Mom, I wasn't really into it. This time around, you can bet, I will be stoked! I don't know why I am so amped about this, but I find it cool that as an honors graduate, I get to go ahead of everyone else at graduation. I know I am ultra competitive, but c'mon, really? That makes me excited?

Oh and I discovered a new trick to make my jogging more interesting for awhile. I started jacking with the speed and incline on the treadmill instead of leaving it on uphill and one speed. I started going 1 mile an hour faster for a few minutes on little incline, then I went faster uphill than usual, etc. It was a great workout and I enjoyed trying new challenges. I am gonna keep on doing the faster thing cause it really pushed me!

Holy Crap, There Were Muscles Under There!

I had a huge discovery yesterday! It turns out, under all that fat, there were some muscles!! This is crazy!!

Seriously, I was doing some curls yesterday morning and I just happened to look down and notice that I had this round bicep poking out pretty prominently, and I had huge forearm muscles with veins. So further inspection showed that I have very nice shoulder muscles, my triceps are starting to show up even when I am at rest, and I see my pecs on top, but my man boob skin needs to shrink some more before I can brag that I have good pecs. the saggy skin kinda ruins the pecs on the bottom. Oh and the legs, wow. All I can say. I think that if I get lucky and get some good skin shrinkage, I will eventually have the flat belly I seek, but I think that will be far into the future most likely. But for now, I will take the muscles that are looking so good! I can honestly say, I never imagined that my muscles would ever be this evident! I am a stoked feller! Yeeee haaaaaawwww!!

Have Them In The House, And You Will Eat Them

So in retaliation of all the crappy snacking I did Saturday, I went to Wal Mart and over loaded on veggies and fruits. I am on a mission now. Not sure how we got all those crappy snacks around the place, but that is gonna change. Well I know how most of them got here. It was Easter candy. And after this little debacle, I am making a decree for the Griffin household. No more mass inventory of candy. The occasional little bit is ok, but that junk is the enemy of all of us, not just me. Kathy is in agreement with that, so candy=not in this house!

I have a much better attitude today too. I had cucumbers lightly spread with hummus, I had bananas, I had carrots, I steamed a couple of sprouts of broccoli and some carrots. I mean it was a veggie kind of day fo' sho' and it made me feel better not just physically but mentally.

Speaking of mentally, I am a little disappointed. I get that we all live busy lives, but I am starting to have some close friends who were all about you can count on me being there, wouldn't miss it for the world!! that are starting to drop off about coming to my graduation this Saturday and the party after it. I guess I am a little hurt by it, but I am also even more thankful for those who said they would come and are. I have folks in Texas that are heading this way and I am glad for them for sure, and I have some local family that are coming too that I haven't seen in quite some time. My mom is having her friends over too, all of whom I love dearly and will be glad to see on such a special occasion to me. I do know this one thing. I am ready for this week to be over and I also am very introspective about it too. I guess the reality has set in that I am on to the next challenge. I loved this challenge. I am a little scared. I have the undergrad life figured out and now on to graduate school and having to start from scratch figuring it out. But like I have said many times, I live for the challenge, and typically rise to the occassion.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Monday morning. If you don't mind, tell me what it was like for you when you graduated college. I suspect my perception as an old man graduating is different from that of a young person graduating, and I would be interested to know if I am right.

A Whole New Battle Now

I have never been a big fan of sweets. Not opposed to them either. I just never sought them out or gorged myself before. My weakness was always fatty meats and chips. For some odd reason, for two days now, I have been gorging myself on sweets. I mean that literally, this is not an over reaction, I have had more sweets in two days than I have since the day I started this journey. So in response to that. I am shooting for a sweet free week and, ultimately, a sweets free month of May. I cannot let that habit get set in!