Day 76 Shane -1 The Desktop-0

Good fine Wednesday my bloggers and bloggerettes! I am so happy for me! I just keep on burning it up this week! 1280 calories for the day! And the strange thing is, not a lot of effort being put into it. I actually just ate some yogurt just to get to 1280. So if this trend continues, wow, Hot 100 is gonna be rocked! I had not one but two veggies for supper, I took a banana to work, I am eating almonds for snacks etc. However, I do have sad news. I had to drop one of my Hot 100 goals. I don't think the no bread is going to go over well with me, so I am taking advice of my homies and have decided no white bread or the bread that is colored to look like wheat bread but ain't. In fact, I hardly ever eat those anyway, I eat Joseph's Pitas for my bread and it doesn't seem to be bread per se. So I don't think that is catastrophic to my goals, but with my stomach getting pissed at me so much lately, and it all started after I was successful in cutting out the pitas and cereal that I have with breakfast. So hey, I still have my weight goal, my 5k goals and my veggies and fruit goals. It is on like donkey kong folks!

I am too lazy to go find the post, but I did set a goal of making the space between me an my student desk in Sociology increase. Well folks, I saw some daylight today!! Not a great deal, but there was light and it was good. NSV extraordinaire after the last two years of being scrunched into those damn things!!!!

Folks we got a new guy here that I would like to have ya'll welcome into the folds and swing by to give him some encouragement. His name is Tony B. and he hangs out at this place right here. He has already started to drop the lbs, but is new to blogging and is wanting to use it like we all do, as a motivator and a source of support from the only people who will truly get what he is saying. So drop on by and leave my guy a comment, please.

Day 75 The Minds Eye

Hey guys, I finally remembered what my stomach problem was called. It is gastritis and it reared its ugly head today. I had such high blood pressure my vision was compromised. I had a spicy dinner and then went out and was bent over putting my signs in the ground for my campaign when suddenly I started getting a funny feeling and then my vision got crazy! I Immediately thought stroke and got home as fast as I could. WEll when I got home, my stomach was doing flips and I could feel the GERD so I figured it out and calmed down. I am all good now thank God and his grace.

Today was great! I am at day 3 of below 1500 calories. The only real issue was that I was hungry all day. Not starving but hungry. I had all my snack a bit earlier in the day than I usually do but I didn't have class tonight either so I knew I would be ok. Today was family fun night at Lauren's school, so Kathy picked me up and we went. We stopped at a little mom and pop and had supper. I wanted the chicken salad but they were out of the chicken, so I finally settled on the chili. I was not prepared for what happened next. The served it in a bowl that I had to guesstimate would be around two cups worth of bowl. I got our tray, brought it back and when my eyes met my bowl of chili, I automatically though, wow, that is a big bowl of chili...... I knew right off I would be able to finish even half of it! Holy crap, is it even possible that I thought that? I mean PJS (Pre-Journey Shane) would have never said that to this bowl, EVER!! I would say that this event shows me that a corner has been turned, that hope has held true and I do have new thought processes when dealing with portion sizes. I am so pumped to be writing about this! My brain is rewired folks! I just can't fathom it! Has anybody else experienced this and if so, did you get nearly the charge from it that I did?

It is pretty cool to be sitting around done with food for the day and be at 1385 calories! I am gonna give Christine a run for her money calorie count wise at this rate!!

I am gonna get off here and get my behonkus in the bed. Oh and for the record, no no jump rope this morning, but now that it has been talked about so much, I guess I will get it in tomorrow dang it! Thanks for keeping me on my toes guys.

Day 74 Anyone For A Veggie Burger?

Hey guys, if I was not put on the I am committed to this journey list by ya'll before, I have to be put on there now! As I have mentioned, I am in the Hot 100 Challenge and one of my goals was to go breadless for that 100 days. Well I failed on the first couple of days, but in the spirit of the challenge, I decided that since I am not sure if the Joseph Pitas are bread or not, I decided to change my routine lunch. I was doing my Wal Mart laps this morning and trying to think of an alternative and I came up with it..... veggie burgers! So when I finished up the laps, I walked to the frozen section and found them. Only 130 calories per pattie! I hate to buy things without knowing, but I bought the 4 pack and had my first one at lunch time today. Frikkin yummy! I loved it! So there is one day with a victory of no bread! I also had a salad for supper and have kept my calories to 1310 for the day, for two days in a row I am under 1500. Not so shocked about that part as I am that I am not hungry.

Have you guys ever been around that person that was able to eat a piece of this, a nibble of that and never really eat much at a sitting? I have a bunch of those people in my life. I used to hate them for having that ability. Hey, guess what, I am becoming one! I went to Jason's for the game Sunday and we had Taco Bell, I had a fresco burrito (did not think about the tortilla being bread, until Kathy told me) and then they had some grapes out. I took about 15 of them and called it good! Not my usual 100 or so, just 15 at most. So, anybody else getting to that point?

Becky was awesome enough to say some nice things about me in the comments and in an email. And get this, she invited me to guest blog on her blog! I am sincerely touched and honored to get a request like that! So I will be doing it for sure. I am going to revisit an old post that got me churning early on in my journey. I think it bears repeating. Hopefully, I will get it to her this weekend and it will be up by Monday.

I am curious if anyone knows how those blog awards are made? I want to make one for some of my favorite people, but mine will be just a way to say hey I think you rock and that is all. I will not put any kind of you have to's on it. Just there ya go awesome person. Any help on designing one?

Who thinks I should jump rope for my workout tomorrow? I am leaning that way, but i am thinknig more like the garage this time. It was freezing this morning! I stayed in the workout room in the house and got me some curls and some crunches. I am getting strooooong!!!! Anybody for arm wrestling? haha.

Day 73 Oh There Is the Track! I Am On It!

Well given Saturday, day 72's events and all that could have happened, day 73 was a rousing success. I got up for my walk, got it in, had a low cal breakfast of turkey bacon and eggs, got a lot of homework done, watched the Cowboys with the Hunters while eating a fresco burrito from Taco Bell. Even went to Target with Kathy and didn't whine to leave after 15 minutes. I had a heat and eat for dinner and my snacks were 6 microwaved small portabella mushrooms, the usual celery and peanut butter, and a yogurt cup. I pulled in the station at 1280 calories for the day. I figure I am going to try to keep in in that area for the week so that I can at least somewhat atone for the Saturday debacle. If it works out for me, I may try to keep my calories more like 1500 from then on! I may well be turning a negative from one day of this journey into a positive till the end! Wow, wouldn't that be cool?

Day 72 Crash and Burn X 2

Saturday was both a great day and a terrible day. The dichotomy of this day is just amazing and unfathomable. Just wow.

I had a mission when I woke up today. I was determined that today would be the day I got under 45 minutes on my 5k. I started off jogging lap 2 around the block and got all it in a fairly easy manner, and I jogged lap 4 as well, though not quite as easily. On lap 6, I determined I was at a pace that I could make the 45 minutes by only jogging the last straight to my house, and that was my plan. Well when I got to the hill on the other side of my block, I could tell I was about to crash and burn, possibly pass out, and nobody was up yet to see me do it, so I got an anxiety attack and cut across yards to get back to my house. I did not finish the 5k but got a half a lap from it. I will finish it in 45 minutes next weekend though! So I chalked that up to a victory in that I was able to push myself to that wall.

But the next crash and burn is not quite as happy an ending. Without going into too much detail, yesterday was a rough day family wise. It just seemed like for the second weekend in a row, things were just going wrong with family life and it seemed like some of stemmed from me being on this journey and having such a commitment to it. It finally got to be too much for me to deal with, so I ordered a six meat pizza from Simple Simons down the road and ate all but 2 slices of it, then I had some skittles and finished off my mini candy bars. I could not even begin to give you a calorie count for yesterday. It was only at like 900 up to 6 o clock but I wouldn't doubt it was more in the 3000 range or higher by the end of the day. Can't fix that now. But what I can do is pick myself up, dust myself off, and get moving forward again with a new conviction. I will not fall off the wagon, I will not go backwards from here. I will be the Shane of days 1 through 71. Not day 72 Shane. Ooo rah.

Day 71 How Can This Be?

Once again, I got busy on Friday and am posting on a Saturday morning. I remember when I was 'sit around Shane' and that would never have happened! Haha.

So day 71 was a good one. I got some homework done. I really am getting senioritis guys. I just need to get this LSAT taken and get into law school where rather than taking things I give not one rip about, I have only classes that are about what i want to do for a living! But it all will come with time. I just need to work on being patient about it.

I am having an issue that I believe I have seen just about all of us talk about on our blogs. I spoke to Kathy about it today and it just keeps coming up for me. I have clearly lost weight. Apparently my physical form has changed fairly significantly. I can't put on my 3X shirts anymore with out seeing them hanging oddly on me, can't tuck my polos in enough to make them look ok, my 40 inch waist slacks all look weird on me, etc. Or for that matter, my steering wheel test where I stack my hand on each other and slide them between my belly and steering wheel to see if I can get both between without hitting the steering wheel, it is impossible to do know as the gap has widened so far I can no longer even MAKE my belly pooch out to touch the steering wheel. So how is it that when I look in a mirror, when I see myself in a picture, when people tell me how crazy it is that I lost so much weight so fast, I just don't REALLY see it in my mind's eye? I look in a mirror at least 10 times a day, and I see it but I don't "see" it. Does that make any sense? And thinking back, in 2000-2001 I knew I had lost a lot of weight, but I never made the mental adjustment. One of the things i used to think is when I get skinnier, I am gonna just make myself more confident with women and get me a girl. I was skinny back then, but in my head, still that fat shy guy that could never hit on an attractive woman! So I have to wonder, when I do get thinner, and when I have maintained it for several years, even then will my mind accept it? I mean as is often the case with these weight loss efforts with me and a lot of the bloggers I have read, our successes in the past have been short lived, so who really has an accounting of such question? Ok enough on that.

Saturday morning, I have a goal in mind. I am gonna try to get my 5k time down to 45 minutes. I got 47:30 last weekend. I may be shooting a little too far a little too fast, but that is how I roll. I will say this. My back is sore as all get out after the jump rope episode from Wednesday, so I make no promises, warranties or guarantees on that time!! Haha. One of my favorite blogger buddies, Christine has roped me into doing a 10k in December. I have to admit the very idea scared me when she asked me to participate with her. But the more I have thought about it, the more I like the idea. I have to admit I get a charge or some sort of spiritual lift out of spending the time out walk/jogging. It is some reflective time, it helps me get in sync with me. It also is when I feel the most aware of my body and how I am more in tune with it now. I was once told by a guy that our bodies are capable of so much more than our minds realize. It is often you that stops your body from reaching its potential. I believe he had it right. I was dead tired long before i stopped jogging on lap 5 last week. I got at least another 500 yards before I pooped out, but I wanted to stop long before that. So be mindful in your work outs. Just when you think you can't go anymore, dig a little deeper, see if you can't get two more reps, see if you can't go five more minutes on the treadmill/bike/pavement.

Okay I am gonna get off here and start practicing as I preach. Ya'll have a great weekend!

Oh wait, one more thing. We at the Hot 100 Challenge are trying to get just a few more people in it to try to get to an even 100. So click that link there and go check it out and see if you may be interested in doing this. Thanks!

My Weigh In and a great message buy South Beach Steve

Ok, the weigh in is done, and I am down another 5 pounds this two week period!! I am a little shy of what I hoped but here is the thing. With a little grit and determination, I am within striking distance of my next goal weight, 249 pounds! Yeah baby! I honestly believe my participation in the Hot 100 is just what I need to get my focus on and get that goal met!

Speaking of the Hot 100, South Beach Steve, who hosts the challenge, has a great video posted today with a message tailor made for me. It is about finishing projects. I won't summarize it cause he does the message much better than I could. I will just leave the link with you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9aTSh778Vc&feature=player_embedded

Day 70 Seriously, Water and a Lost Perspective

So I was walking my second round today for lunch. I was able to go to the track as it has cooled off today. I get a lot more inner dialog and perspective when I walk outside. I dunno why. But I had some good thinking going on. I got started on thinking about my water consumption. I basically drink between 64 and 80 ounces of water per day. It is a new habit. I can't seem to and don't want to change that fact. I have soda every once in awhile now, but not enough to matter. Maybe one or two a week. I did some research. It turns out when you don't get enough water, you kidneys stop working properly, which leaves the liver in the back up position as the new starter. Well the liver having now taken over more work, does not do its job properly, one of which is metabolizing fat, using it as an energy source. So the overworked liver become less efficient and voila, the fat building process begins. Having changed from a gallon or better of Diet Moutain Dew to water as my main hydration method is by far the biggest change I made from this attempt and the late 2009/early 2010 effort I put forth. I lost twenty pounds in around 3 months. I have don this for 70 days and lost probably 40 plus pounds. Yeah, I think water played a major part in that. So come on folks, those of you who don't, give it a shot, see if drinking water is the missing factor in your weight loss. It won't hurt anything, I promise.

Which leads me to the next thought I have. I have high goals for my weight loss. I have kinda been spoiled by my sudden success, my large amounts of weight loss. I even got a little bummed I only lost 8 FRIKKIN POUNDS because I wanted to be 259 last weigh in, rather than 260. It occurred to me that, umm I am on DAY 70!!! I have lost at minimum 37 pounds! That is around 1/2 pound a day! That is impressive! I am not on day 170 for goodness sakes! So even if I don't get the 6 pounds I am hoping for tomorrow morning, I am aware of a few things. I am strong! I work out every day fo the work week. I am fast! I have knocked off 12 minutes of my 5k I do every Saturday for time! I am at least 37 pounds lighter! I honestly feel like I think better, have a better attitude about life, health, exercise, my job, I mean all facets of my life have improved and I can thank God and Sean Anderson for starting me off on this path.

Well I got caught in a catch 22 today. I have a goal of no bread for my Hot 100 challenge. Day 1 I had to eat bread cause I didn't communicate that to Kathy and we had hamburgers tonight. I liked that lean ground beef by the way! MMM good! So from THIS day forward, it is no bread!! And for any interested parties, Jo and I have a little side bet going on regarding our 5k addiction. We are going to compare our 5k times and see who can knock the most time off their time in the next 100 days. Any other takers? I know it isn't fair since I will clearly crush all comers, but hey be a sport!

Day 69 Somehow This Day Beat Day 68!!!

Hello and welcome to Cloud 9!!!! Just had a great day AGAIN!! It just seems like God is totally about blessing me so much these days. Today was fun and rewarding and full of NSV's. Well kinda.

After posting last night, I had to get today's outfit together. I went to all my dress shirts and started pouring through them to find one that fit, and matched my newly acquired jacket my beautiful Kathy bought for me (best wife ever!)Guess what. The shirts I bought when I first started working in the Baker Law Firm. They fit just right when I bought them, then eventually they got waaaay too small. Now, now? Well they are a tad bit too big!!! It is awesome!!!

I had the best time at Court. I loved the back and forth, the holy crap she really just said that? It was fun and educational and everything I thought it would be. I love my boss and she is incredibly awesome. And the attorney for the other side was Carrie from my old firm. She is a great attorney. I never had gotten to see her in action before and I am impressed. I hope that eventually, if I get to law school and pass, we can practice together one day. I think that would be neat.

Eating was frikkin great today. I found out something that would have been handy to know last week. Subway has salads! and they will let you put spicy brown mustard on them as a dressing! So all told, I am at 1340 calories after snacks and everything. The only regret I have for today is that I did not get a walk in this morning or afternoon. I did however manage to get the jump rope out and bang out 100 and it was pretty nice to know I could, but I will tell you this, jumping rope is harder than it used to be! I was out of breath and tired by the time I finished the 100 jumps. I am going back to lifting weights in the morning and walking after I drop Lauren off tomorrow.

Okay I have come up with the fitness and diet goals I have for the Hot 100 Challenge I mentioned yesterday. I have put the logo on my sidebar and it will take you to the page that sets out the challenge parameters. Click on it and check it out to make the last 100 days be the best of 2010! So here are my goals:

1. To continue to limit myself to 1800 calories per day as I have, with the possibility of lowering that limit to 1600 at a later date.

2. I want to get my 5k time down to below 40 minutes with the addition of more jogging.

3. I want to get my weight down to 240 pounds by December 31st.

4. I am going to eat more vegetable and fruits.

5. I am going to continue to drink 80 ounces of water per day and to keep soda consumption to a minimum. Or maybe even get rid of it altogether.

6. Cut bread out of my diet completely. It is not my friend.

Not a terribly ambitious list I know but those are my goals for the last 100 days. Even if you don't plan to join the challenge, maybe you could drop by and let me know what you personally plan to do to make the end of 2010 your b*tch.

Day 68 Back in the Game!!

Oh it was a great day for me!! A lot of things went my way today. I got my campaign signs in, I have just killed it in the diet area today, I got some great exercise in, aaaand, guess who gets to go to Court tomorrow? Oh me! Cheryl "The Bomb" Anderson has decided to let me go to Court with her on a case that is a pain in the ass. I think she is giving me a reward for having to deal with the client. I love her for it too! I never got to go to Court at the Baker Firm.

I really woke up with an attitude today for some reason. I had every intention of making my morning walk count today! I don't know what got into me, but I just flew around Wal Mart this morning! I was tired, out of breath and a little sweaty by the time I got my six laps in but man did I feel like a winner! I love it cause I am starting to feel my abs tighten up and my solar plexes flex when I walk, my glutes are getting the burn as are my hamstrings. I know it is dorky, but I love when I feel a muscle burn and hurt. It just means you are doing something right. I am strooooong!!!!!

Today, I guess my body figured out that the bread was not forthcoming cause I didn't have the strong hunger like I did yesterday. My stomach growled some about 2:30ish, but I fed him some almonds and he was good. I ran my calories when I got back from the skating rink tonight and I am sitting at 1270! I love those days when you just nailed it. I usually get right at 1650 each day so to not be hungry at around 300 calories less for the day is pretty cool!

I have been guzzling the water the last two days. I am afraid the Subway sandwiches had way more salt in them than I realize and I want that all flushed out ASAP. I have a litle better feeling about Friday's weigh in today. I may not get as low as I want to on the scale, but I will get my number down. I am sure of that.

I am kinda interested in the challenge I saw today about the last 100 days of the year and setting some goals to achieve by December 31st. I am gonna try to figure out how to get in on that I think. I actually have had the date December 1st stuck in my head for awhile now and I am hoping to figure out why on December 1st..... haha.

I hope to see Doc post that she feels better tomorrow. I hate to think of the idea of gall stones. I had gastrosomething or another once, or I guess still do, I don't know. But anyway, my stomach was pissed at me and the anus to the stomach was worn out and letting my acid come up and I made me feel like i was having a heart attack for real. That sucked! So get better Doc.

Day 67 I Am So Sore!!

I worked hard this weekend folks. Between Saturday's jog and Sunday's workout at the track then moving the stuff for Kathy's dad, I am worn out! And Christine, I have had more bread than I would like to have had over the last three days, but calorie wise, spot on, exercise wise, dead on. Now that I am back home and settled in, I will be much better on the bread part.

I sure am worried about Friday though. I just don't feel very skinny. I wonder if all the losing I have been doing is fixing to slow down. I am making alot of muscle though and that alone should help me burn fat right? I know I was starving again all day today again, but I attribute that to having bread once a day for three days in a row. I also had a caffeine binge going on all weekend too. I had to drink a big cup of coffee saturday night to keep awake while driving, only got 4 hours sleep going into Sunday morning, so I had extra coffee that morning too. Then diet Mountain Dew on the way home last night. Wow, I didn't realize how much caffeine.

Well I have to get a survey ready for school.

An award.Thanks Doc!

I have not participated in the past in these but I though that maybe I should in the spirit of bloggdom. So I will try harder from now on. I got this from the good Doctor.



Thanks for thinking of me Doc. Now the rules say you have to discuss on thing you would change about your past. I actually have thought about this before and one of the things I come up with is that I kinda wish I had realized a little earlier that football was not gonna be something I could do later in life based solely on my physical stature. I was never gonna play college, and pros, forget it. So now I like baseball and I honestly believe that had I tried, I may have gotten a little further in baseball had I actually played for real. I messed around with it like pick up games and such, but never played competitively. I really do cherish the memories of being on a team and having each other's back going into battle, the comraderie, the giving each other shit, the practical jokes, the being as crude as we want cause no girls around to be offended. It was a great time in my life. I wish it could have lasted longer. But, in all, the sum of my experiences has made me what I am today, and I don't dislike me. So no deep regrets, just maybe some wondering about what could have been.

Day 64 and Probably Day 65

Hey there. I am posting this on Saturday morning because I kept myself busy on Friday night. I am gonna be busy the rest of this weekend, so I may be posting for Saturday as well. I love my life, but sometimes I need a slow period that doesn't seem to be coming around anytime soon.

So I told you about eating out at Subway and the Bell on Thursday night. Well once again I ate out on Friday for lunch and dinner. Not bad choices mind you. I had a grilled chicken breast sandwich, had them put spicy mustard on it, took off the top bun, ate about a quarter of the bottom bun and then used the mustard on the bun as a dip for the breast. I ate the lettuce and tomato and went away feeling like I had done well. I had some family issues come up on Friday afternoon that left me getting home a little later than expected. Kathy and Lauren had waited for me, and were no longer in the mood for grilled chicken breast but wanted to go the Marketplace Grill. I looked up their menu and decided that the Teriyaki Chicken stir fry sounded great so off we went. WEll I just felt a little off this morning (saturday) so I decided to break my rule of waiting for every second Friday to weigh and see if my suspicion was right. It was , I was at 261, which is a pound more than last Friday! So I am now done with eating out. I know I have not gone over my calorie limit at all so I suspect that the out food has been loaded in salt and I am holding on to water despite drinking it like a fish. So done. I will be taking my own food to Texas and eating before the inevitable dinner out.

Now that was the bad news. Here is the good news. I am frikkin' fast! I went out for my Saturday 5k and it has been stuck in my craw to try to get some substantial jogging on these things. I finally broke down today and planned to go my first two laps at my usual fast walk pace, then jog my 3rd lap. Walk my fourth to recover, try to jog the 5th lap and walk the 6th. Well i was successful in the lap 3 plan, but I only jogged half of lap 5. I did however jog the last half of lap 6 and my time wound up being 47:32!! that is a full 3 minutes off my record time!! I took a picture of the stop watch with my phone and e mailed it to me with the intention of putting the picture on here, but it hasn't hit my e mail yet. So maybe tomorrow?

I will hopefully see you guys by tomorrow morning but if not, have a great weekend!!

Day 63 Look Forward by Looking Back

I had a great moment today. I was doing my morning walk around Wal Mart before work and one of the ladies that works in the meat department that has been kinda showing some interest in my walking stopped me and had a conversation with me. She asked how much weight had I lost and how many laps I walk and such. She finally asked me what kind of diet I was on and I explained once again, I am not on a diet, just watching what I eat and moving more. She seemed shocked that I ate what I wanted, just less of it and better choices. I could see a light come on when she said that she really likes candy bars though and just can't not eat a couple. I told her I eat a mini chocolate bar at lest two or three times a week. She asked how I do that and I explained that quite frankly, eating more of them don't make them taste any better, it only means you ate more calories. I just savor the one I have and enjoy it, rather than eating several mindlessly. She had an aha look on her face! I love that! I touched somebody and may have made a difference in their life. How cool would it be if that happened!

I came to a realization tonight. I ate some Subway and some Taco Bell because my schedule got a little crazy on me and I was hungry. Teh six inch sub at Subway was no cheese, no kind of condiment, just meaat and pickles, jalapenos, onions. 320 calories! Then after I was headed home, we stopped at Taco Bell and I had a Fresco Chicken Burrito and a flat bread sandwich. I do not like fast food anymore ya'll. I kept it under my calorie limit, and really none of it was unhealthy, but I just prefer my food non fast. How cool right?

I was thinking how I am kinda settled into a routine and doing well and kinda taking it for granted. I actually kinda got blase about it the other day. Folks, as much as anything else, this is a blessing to be doing the things we are doing. I mean to be on a path to a healthier lifestyle, making yourself a stronger, better, happier person... yeah those are all blessings. So my plan is this... I am going to block out some time this weekend and read every single day of my blog from beginning to end. I will read all the comments. I will take them all in and savor the flavor baby. I am gonna just remember where I was emotionally on my first day, the thrill of the first weigh in, the disappointment in my pizza epic fail. I am gonna read about my early days of walking, the days when I realized that I was getting faster, the first hike we took as a family the Silver Dollar City trip, all of it. It will be great!! I suggest that ya'll do the same. Take it in, see how far you have come. You should get a feeling of what it is going to be like in the future for you. You will see the strides you have made and realize the strides you are gonna take. All you have accomplished and all you can accomplish. Let's all meet back here on Monday and see how you feel.

Day 62 I Am Stroooong!!!

This day was one of those days. You know, the one where 5 o'clock cannot get there fast enough. We have a client that gets on my last nerve, talks about every thing you didn't ask him a question about, never finishes his thought, is cryptic when he answers finally. Well, I had to talk to some people he is calling for witnesses on our behalf in his divorce. I definitely, beyond any shadow of any doubt dealt with my quota of idiots for at least the next seventy two hours. Gees!!

I have a question. Is Jello in any way a bad thing? I made some tonight for a snack.I got the sugar free lime and it is pretty good. I ate half the bowl and it was a whole 10 calories. I like it for the fruity taste and it kinda calmed my sweet tooth. So, is there any reason I should not keep having it as a snack?

I know I talk alot about the cardio I am doing, or more specifically the ton o' walking as fast as possible. Well, lost in that message is the fact that Monday through Friday, every morning regardless, I do a weight workout. It is not that big of a deal, I pick a three lifts a day, do them with my dumb bells or as in this mornings case, I did some crunches as one of my exercises. I have been doing them, but I have been doing three sets of ten. I decided today to just bust out as many in a row as I could so I can start doing more at a once. I got up to twenty!! Yeah baby! I am strong!!! I know that for whatever reason, I feel powerful on a fairly regular basis now adays. ONe of the best parts of all this getting in shape. Well, I don't let something go anymore. As in when I walk past a piece of trash, I stop and pick it up. When something needs straightened up, I do it, when homework needs to be done, I do it. I mean it has permeated my life, every aspect! I had a high kicking contest with Lauren tonight! I never would have done that before this. I am Stroooooong!!!

I did change one thing on my menu today. It is something I am thinking about adapting. I had turkey bacon for breakfast in place of the eggs. It was pretty dang good. I had some Saturday, but I got it too done. So I found the middle ground today and it was better. I like finding new stuff every once in a while. Do you guys get the same charge as I do for new foods?

Hey guys, go check out Cori at her blog. She is getting some traction. She lost 4.4 pounds recently and I have been watching her diet. I like what she has going on! Go on over there and give her a howdy.

As promised, here is my campaign sign thanks to Kathy!

Day 61 Ok, Now This is Getting Crazy! But the Good Kind

I do not think I have mentioned this in my blog yet. I am running for the Justice of the Peace in my district of Crawford County this November. Today, I ordered my campaign signs!! Or more to the point, Kathy ordered them from a local sign shop. I had her go and pick out the scheme I just told her what I wanted it to say. She emailed me the proof at work and I loved it! I will try to get a copy of it posted on here if I can get it to this computer. I am pretty excited. My opponent has not shown any interest in making it a sporting race. I almost decided against getting signs, but I thought it best to get my name on peoples minds so that when they go in the booth, they have seen that name and click it. I kinda hope he doesn't do signs, but who knows.

I had class tonight and it is the one I like the least right now. We studied a PERT chart for a project like building a building that creates a critical chain of events based on time tables. I totally didn't get it while I was in class, but I figured it out when I got home and studied myself for a bit. It is easy but he goes too fast like you already know how to do it after just one pass at it. I was so frustrated in class but after a couple of successful practice questions, I got it.

I went back to my usual menu today. If it ain't broke, don't fix it? Plus I am a creature of habit. I am so much so a creature of habit that I am having a bass ackwards fight with myself tonight. I am in shock to even be having this problem. See, sit around Shane knew he needed exercise, and often tried to talk himself into it, but just never quite found the time or want to to actually do it! Now zoom zoom Shane is trying to talk himself into taking a day off of walking so his thighs can maybe get unsore and the pain he is having under his rib cage he is pretty sure is a pulled muscle may shut up a minute. But the reality, I have conceded I will be right back at Wal Mart tomorrow morning, and once again going hard and fast to get a mile and a half in before work. Speaking of which..... well I am in shock and awe of me today. I am seriously not sure how this happened. I just know I walked just as hard and fast yesterday morning and my time yesterday morning for six laps around was 28 minutes. I was tired an puffing and everything, so I know I was giving my all. But today, well today was a special day. I got my laps in by some miracle of God in 24 minutes!!! How, I don't pretend to understand. I am happy though!!!

I have had my brain in overdrive since yesterday morning between work and school, so I am gonna shut it down now and let it cool off. I sure hope everyone has a great Wednesday and let this thought linger, "you can't get there without first walking away from here".

Day 60 A Normal Fat Person?

Dude, I had the busiest day today! AS I have talked about, I have a new job. This is my fifth week there and I am starting to get caught up on the clients we have and what they have going on and where they are in their cases. So now that I am in the groove, I am more effective and able to do more! I love it! The day goes by so much faster when you are working and not trying to get caught up! Plus, me love Cheryl! She is the greatest boss! Her and I just click. This is how work is supposed to feel I am pretty sure. Then I had a test in my sociology class. I am pretty sure I did well on it. In my Monday night class, we actually stayed the entire 3 hours! We never do that but we were doing and exercise in sterotyping and you would be surprised how that worked out. It was not uncomfortable at all. I finally got home around 8:45 and got a bite to eat and then had to read a chapter for Project Management and take an online test. Finally got to bed around 10:45 and slept like a rock! I have an assignment due tonight in that class and I will likely take Wednesday off from homework and try to get some yard work done this week!

Kathy and I are going to Texas Saturday night to help her dad get some work done as he just had ACL surgery and can't be doing stuff. He is trying to get Kathy's grandma's house cleaned out so he can sell it and then he hurt himself. I also need to mow his lawn as apparently it is pretty high. I look forward to going down there, even if it is gonna be a quick turnaround. We are leaving like 7 Saturday night and coming home Sunday afternoon.

Ok, so I had the strangest thought yesterday. I was walking by a storefront window and I saw myself and said " wow, I look like a normal fat person now". Huh? Anybody catch that and understand it? I am lost how I would even define a "normal" fat person!! I guess in my head, I was not only a fat person, but an exceptionally fat person? So does that mean that I am now ok? Am I "cured" now? Hahaha. The human mind is fascinating isn't it?

I have a question for you guys. I have noticed something that may have happened in my getting in shape in 2000-2001 and I just missed it. I have been paying attention to my stride when I am walking for exercise and it is A LOT longer than it used to be. And after being cognizant of the stride, I also noticed that when my muscle fatigue sets in, it is no longer in my hips, solar plexes, abs, etc. It is more in my thighs, hamstrings, glutes, etc. I have to wonder, is this because now that I am skinnier (not skinny) and my core muscles are stronger, that my balance is better and thus the longer stride and less use of stabilizer muscles? I posit that my short stride was just a result of my body trying to make corrections so I don't fall over when I walk. Now that it is not autocorrecting, I can really get it on! Does this make sense at all? I am seriously zooming here lately. I got a walk in around Wal Mart this morning and I started out doing 5 minute laps at this bigger Wal Mart close to work. I am now down to 4 1/2 minute laps and expect that eventually I will be at 4 minute laps. I don't know what will happen when it comes time for running rather than walking. I am pretty sure they will not allow that! Haha.

My eating habits continue to amaze me. I am locked in folks. Even the idea of stepping off the path causes panic to me, much like the idea of limiting myself diet wise used to. I love it and am shocked at the same time. Who really knew that was possible? I would almost say it is a neurosis, but I think that this neurosis is much healthier for me than my last one!

I hope everyone has a great Tuesday and I will see you all in the funny papers!

Day 59 A Different Menu!

Well all in all, an uneventful day. I did get a break from the the usual menu today for breakfast. I sauteed me some mushrooms and onions, scrambled two eggs with that and then fried two pieces of turkey bacon. I know now I am committed to healthy living! I just cooked it a little more done and it brought the flavor out. I also made some jello today and had that for a mid morning snack. Lunch was a little later than usual, but it was a staple. Kathy's tuna salad on a pita. Supper was yummo! I grilled up a coupe of 6 ounce pork chops, wrapped some squash in tin foil with a little butter for it to cook in, and Kathy warmed up some black eyed peas and made us a yummy salad. I had a second happening. I ate my salad with no dressing! Holy Smokes!

Kathy and I went for a short "hike" at the local nature center. We bought hiking boots and thought it would be a good way to get them broke in. It was a shot walk, but after my 5k this morning and the jogging yesterday, my legs thanked me for that! I am seriously wondering if I need to maybe take a lazy weekend. But we always come up with something to do that sounds fun and I can't resist.

WEll I am gonna finish watching this game. Cowboys are looking pretty sad so far, hope for a better second half.

Day 58 Who Says You Can't Live Life?

Guys and Gals, I have had a wonderful day. I am starting to wind it down while watching the remaining minutes of the Razorback game that we are whooping up on ULM in. A great way to end the day of many great experiences.

First of the great experiences was during this morning's usual 5k. I was letting the dogs out to the back yard as they don't wait for me to come back very well and are usually noisy and get the trash and strew it about. So as I am letting them out, I notice it is raining. Crap. I realize immediately that it will be a treadmill day. I really prefer to walk outside whenever possible it just works for me to get some fresh air in my lungs and to see the scenery change, even if it is only six times around my block looking at the same thing. So I get a towel out and I get the treadmill fired up and guestimated how fast I had to be walking to get the times I have in my last couple of 5k's. I guessed 3.5 mph,and I cranked up the incline to a whopping 1.5! Well I decided last week that I wanted to do a bit more jogging than I had lately, so I was gonna start jogging the straight in front of my house after a mile. Well I didn't abandon the plan because of the treadmill. At one mile I decided originally that I would start jogging for 3 minutes after the first mile. Well, at three minutes, I still felt good, my pace was smooth and my breathing was fine. I decided to try to go for a half mile of jogging instead. So I did, it took me somewhere in the area of like 5 minutes maybe, don't recall, but I was feeling it! So I finally tired out and turned the treadmill back to walking speed. I did do another jog later in the program, but is was only for .15 miles. All told, I came in at 51 or 52 minutes, 57 seconds. Slower than last week's. So if the weather permits, I am getting back outside tomorrow and though I usually go for just getting the walk in on Sunday, I am going for time tomorrow! We are debating about going for a hike tomorrow. I want to but I am not sure Kathy is down with the idea as yet.

So the next great thing that happened? I got in the shower and as I was getting dressed after, I noticed the shirt I picked had what looked like a paint stain on it? So I audibled to another shirt. I had gotten this shirt at my University's Homecoming last year. It was a giveaway to alumni and as an associate's degree holder, I qualified. So the trick is, it was an XL. It was a large cut XL, but an XL nonetheless. I have tried it on a couple of times, but not lately. So today I said heck with it, let's try again. Bingo! I was wearing an XL! Woo hoo!!

As I talked about yesterday, I had to go to Springdale today for Gary's football game. It was a little sad cause the other team was frikkin huge and Gary's team had no chance. But we yelled and screamed and hollered and had a good time anyway. After that, my best friends mom was having a birthday party at the lake and they invited me out. I knew I had homework, but I couldn't pass this up. My best friend was killed in a motorcycle wreck in 2007, so his family and I are even closer now than we were back then. I cherish every minute I get to spend with them. They are are pretty much like family. We have acted like asses together as kids, gotten in trouble as adults, and come full circle all starting families and getting late starts in school. So yeah, we have a bond. I stayed out there for a couple of hours and it was great to catch up.

I had a phenomenal eating day. I had to think on my feet and I did a good job of not giving in and living in the moment. For breakfast, we only had one egg in the house, not sure how that happened, but I fried that and then had a stick of my pepper jack cheese, then my cereal. We were also out of pancake mix, so the girls decided they wanted Mcdonalds for breakfast. We got there at like 10:15, which is snack time for me usually, so I had a fruit and granola yogurt parfait from there. Way more calories that my usual snack, but that early in the day, I can budget around it. So we finally were on our way to Springdale. I got there a few minutes late but caught the second quarter on of the game. So as we were talking about going out to the lake, it became apparent the cooking was gonna be a lot later than I could stand to wait for lunch, so I once again audibled and Kathy and I went to AQ Chicken House in Springdale. It is a well known little establishment that was founded in 1947. The walls are filled with pictures of a every President from that year forward having come to eat there at some point. Also, many many stars, like Randy Travis, Pat Sajak, some wrestling guys that started after I stopped watching apparently, and the list goes on. So we had a great lunch. I ordered the lemon pepper grilled catfish and green beans for the side, I ate the two fillets of catfish, about a half cup of the rice they came on and the green beans, as well as half a dinner roll. I was so proud of me! I am really becoming conscious of portion sizes and responsible in my eating! I was never able to to this before. With the rice left on the plate and the roll basket still on the table, I never buckled! Suhweet!

Now the spread at the party was one heck of a hard thing to resist folks. I have got some great cooks in my life and they still are whether I am trying to lose weight or not! There was potato salad, baked beans, cole slaw, grilled chicken breast, steak, rolls, I mean you name it, they had broken it out! Buuuuuut, since I chose to eat lunch prior, I was not able to indulge. I did have two ounces of chicken breast by splitting the breast with Kathy, but it was at snack time so it made sense to get a quick 90 calories of protein in.

As a last meal, Kathy and I stopped at Firehouse Subs in Van Buren and I had the turkey as usual. If you leave off mayo and cheese, it is only 410 calories with all the veggies and with spicy brown mustard. It is an unbelievable calorie value!

With my usual yogurt and celery and peanut butter as snacks, I finished off the day with a Mr. Goodbar mini candy bar and all told, I flirted with the bank limit at 1710 calories. I am ok with the little higher calorie total than the weekdays since I am more active on the weekends and I had that starving episode a couple of weeks back. I now trust myself to get close to the line and never break over it. It is a great feeling to get there. At day 58, I am settled into habits I never have even imagined! I mean for me to be practicing portion control? Really? It is what I prayed for and God, as is his business, answered that prayer and I cannot thank Him enough for empowering me, giving me dominion over food. Thank you Lord for saving my life. So my next prayer is this. Lord, I know the suffering and heartache of having an addiction to food, and I pray that you speak to the hearts of all that are having this same struggle. Lord please put you hand over them and instill in them the blessing you have upon me. Show each of them the light Lord. Help them walk through the door and see the light that shines on me now.

Well I better get off here and get to bed as I need my sleep for tomorrow. If I get my 5k in, mow my yards, and get a hike in, I am gonna be tired folks!

Day 57 High School Football!

This week just keeps getting better. I am actually writing this blog on Saturday morning because we were out late. Friday was a good day. I got some money I have been expecting and I am officially caught up! I don't owe anyone anything!! That, plus the half day at work would have been enough for me. But, Lauren is now cheerleading for her school instead of through the Boys and Girls Club. I asked her if she would be interested in going to see the high schoolers play and see what the high school cheerleaders do as compared to them. She said yes, so Kathy and I planned on taking her. I had the greatest time last night! We won 42-24 and Lauren got her first social experience of high school football game Friday night. She is quite the little social butterfly!

I had a bit of an NSV I guess although not sure I can definitely call it that anymore. We went to Frank's, a local italian restaurant that Kathy and I love. We had a little extra and Kathy asked for it. I traditionally go with the biggest pair of pants I own on so I can stuff myself full. Their food is seriously the best I have ever tasted. Tonight, I kept my head and ordered a grilled chicken ceasar salad, ate the chicken and maybe a quarter of the salad. It had a ton of dressing and parmesian cheese on it, so I kept that to a minimum. I was only at like 1300 calories, so I had an order of spicy chicken nuggets on the way home from the game. I would have to call yesterday a rousing success! Now for the weekend 5k's. I have to set an alarm for Saturday morning because I have to drive up to Springdale, my home town, to watch my nephew Gary play some football. Then I have to come back and get some homework done. I have a couple of essays to write and a sociology test to study for and some quizzed to get taken online. I need to get all that done so I can watch me some Sunday night football baby! Cowboys gonna whooop up on some Redskins this Sunday!!

One Pound Shy of My Vision

well I got close folks. I weigh 260!!! I was hoping for 259, but this just means next time will have me really close to the 240's!! I supsect my the end of the month or beginning of next month I will hit that goal.

Day56 NFL Baby!!!

I am not a fan of either team, but man it is good to see and NFL game that counts!!!In the past couple of years, I have kinda slacked off in my football watching. I have been watching the Cowboys, but that is about the only game I catch each week. So I have decided this year, I will get my homework done more efficiently, and I will keep my chores done up in the Monday through Saturday, and I will watch more NFL this year. It is good for my stress level to have a forum to yell, scream, holler and fuss without offending anybody I have to deal with on a daily basis. Before I married Kathy, that last one would have read cuss, but I try really really hard to not curse while Lauren is around, so fuss is the new ending of that sentence... haha.

I got a quiz done tonight for Diversity in the Workplace, I still have to read two essays and submit answers to questions and I have a test due Saturday in the class. I accidentally printed off the wrong essay at school, so I have to go out tomorrow and buy ink for my printer. I want to take care of it tomorrow then take my test Saturday and get that all over with ASAP. We want to hike this weekend and I will have to mow too, so it is looking like an uber active weekend.

I am feeling really good about tomorrow morning's weigh in. I still see that 259 in my head, sure hope to see it on the scale tomorrow too! Here is the funny thing about today, I haven't been hungry here lately at night. Heck I have been trying to get to 1500. Well today, I was hungry all evening. I got up to 1600 calories today. There was a slight change today in menu though. Kathy and I switched our lunch day since she has to work tomorrow thru lunch. We went to this little restaurant down the road from my work we both loved when I was sit around Shane. I always got the fried catfish sandwich with fries. I decided to get the taco salad and see what it was like. It was alot of cheese! Luckily, it wasn't melted cheese and I got most of it off. I took the three ounces of hamburger meat and put it on top of the lettuce and tomatoes and ate that with the tiny bit of cheese I couldn't get off. All told, I ate around 350 calories for that meal. I was proud of me for leaving the chips and taking the cheese off! I could have just ate it as is, but I just was not able to bring myself to do it! Wow what a difference in me! There was also a change in tonight's menu as well. Kathy baked some chicken legs for us with a tad bit of barbecue sauce, but she removed the skin. She also made me a salad. I am pretty sure I way over estimated the meal at 500 and am next to positive given the amount of meat on the legs I waaaaay overguessed. But I couldn't find a good estimate on the chicken leg calories, so I thought that was the best course of action.

Next we see each other I will have weighed and likely be a chipper old man! I was visualizing today and I love to just think about how the fat in my body is just dissolving and going away. I imagine the fat around my organs being drained out and shrinking fat cells and how my organs are saying "thank you so much" to me. Well half time is over, see ya'll later!!

Day 55 I Give Up!!!!

I have had what I would call a strange conundrum here lately. I am struggling to get enough calories, or at least what I think is enough. I have been having to snack most of the night to get to 15 or 1600 calories. Tonight, I just threw my hands up at 1400 and said hell with it, I give up! How does it come to this? How do you get from there (I ate all night after supper) to here (trying to make it to 1500?). I mean wow. Not very fathomable sometimes. Not complaining, but I am done trying to get there. If I am not hungry then heck with it, I will stick at 13 or 1400 and so be it.

I am stealing from Cori today the fact that I had a pants victory. I had bought a pair of pants back in the winter when I had made a run at getting some weight loss. They were bought as goal pants. They were the right price but a size too small according to the tag, two sizes according to the actual fit! Guess who so wore those pants today? It was me!!!! I wore those pants! And they are nice pants too. I am beginning to have a much bigger wardrobe for the moment. I am in between sizes so that I can wear some stuff I out grew but I can still wear my bigger stuff, although some stuff is fixing to get put away. My bigger pants tend to look funny on me now. I am lucky that I have a wife that is a bargain shopping fool and she can start replacing retired clothes with smaller clothes once we get some dang money!

I am kinda griped that my thighs are still so sore. I am really seriously planned on not taking a walk today so I could get them ok, but it worked out that i had to have Lauren to school early for honor choir try outs, which she made by the way!!! I had a good bit of time to burn so I went to Wal Mart and got a mile in before work. And I have thoughts of maybe jumping on the treadmill for 3 minutes and jogging just to get the feel of it and see if now is the time or I need to wait. Oh I don't think I have mentioned it here, but I can jump rope again!!! I used to have a huge pain in my back when I tried, but the other day I was showing off for Lauren and one of her friends that I could jump rope better and around my thirtieth straight jump, my shorts fell off!! I was wearing a too big cut off shirt and boxer briefs, so it wasn't a huge deal but man it was embarassing!

I had my usual menu apart from my evening snack. I had my usual yogurt but I decided to add some protein to my total today. I boiled two eggs and put a tablespoon of the horseradish Miracle Whip (20 calories) and a tablespoon of spicy brown mustard (10 calories). It was not my favorite mixture, so no more of that!!

I am down to 33 hours till weigh in! I am excited to get this one in. If this isn't the one that gets me to the 250's, then the next one will be and I am excited!! Still got 259 in my head.

Well I am thinking I am gonna go find some shoes and do that jogging thing I talked about. Bye everybody.

Day 54 Burger King

Today, I had a twinge of an old familiar feeling. I had class until 8 o clock and the professor kept us the whole entire time. So, having only had 640 calories up to 3 o clock and nothing since then, I was pretty hungry when I left school. So what I have dubbed "my burger king" is on the way home. It always smells so good when I drive by and I get the aroma of them cooking whoppers. Honestly, I have not noticed that smell at all since I started this new lifestyle, but I guess my hunger made me more cognizant of that smell when I drove by. It made me think back to the bajillion times I had stopped there and gotten the trusty Number 1 as either a meal or a snack or an emotional mop or any other litany of reasons. I have at times stopped there twice in one day. Don't worry there was no danger of me stopping tonight. I am past all that, but what it did do was make me curious how many calories I had eaten there every time I got the trusty Number 1. So when I got home, I checked. And wow folks. wow. Trusty Number One, medium size, is get this, 1400 calories!! I was shocked! By today's standards it is an incredibly high amount. I don't hit that number till supper time these days! Hell some days, I don't hit it at all! My gosh I have to wonder if I have possibly eaten a million calories at Burger King!

Today was an exceptionally good day. I had my usual menu so I won't even type out breakfast, lunch and snacks today. I will give some of my peeps props for suggesting that my tuna be replaced with almonds. I did find some habanero flavored almonds made by Blue Diamons that I love!! And they seem to help me keep my appetite under control. They are a welcome addition too. I was getting into a afternoon snack rut.

Well it waited a little longer this time around, but the anxiety of having to wait for weigh day set in today. I just can't wait and I still can't get 259 out of my head. I have really stepped up my activity level of late and my calories have been pretty much spot on and I seriously feel skinnier, whether rationally or not. One of my most recent NSVs is pretty funny really. Kathy and i have the smallest kitchen known to man. So for both of us to fit in there and try to get around each other used to be pretty much impossible. We had to do some major squeezing. Well as of late, we actually fit past each other without any internal injuries. It is great!

Well I am gonna get off here and get to bed. We had to have a long talk with Lauren regarding her talking in class that has netted her detention. I am worn out after all that.

Day 53 Do You Know When?

Well it was a pretty uneventful Monday for me. I didn't get alot done today other than cleaning the cabinets for the glasses and tupperware and organizing them. I also got the floor cleaned and then got a mile and half walk in. I was really sore from Saturday and Sunday still, so I walked the first mile hard, then the last half mile at a comfortable pace. As far as food goes, I was pretty low on calories for the most part of the day. I actually have gotten to 1630 calories up to this point. I had two whole eggs fried this morning, then the 1/2 cup Special K and 1% milk, then for my morning snack, I had a stick of my pepper jack cheese. For lunch I had my usual pita with lunchmeat and my afternoon snack was a leftover turkey sausage link. I also had a mini candy bar for a treat today. I think it was a Hershey bar. So through all that I was only at 645 calories. For supper I had what I over guessed I think to be 8 ounce chicken breast, spinach, and corn. I was up to 1145 after that meal. I have snacked a bit more than usual tonight but like I said, still in the bank and still healthy stuff. I had a sandwich slice of american cheese, another stick of the pepper jack cheese, yogurt, and a table spoon of peanut butter with a swallow of milk. All in all, not to bad folks, not too bad.

So during my walk today, I had a thought that plagued me. I was thinking and it dawned on me that I hadn't always been a slave to food. I had often been fat, but not because of an addiction to food. I got real fat out of high school because I worked at KFC, was broke (to read I spent all my money on beer and Mad Dog 20/20)and ate alot of chicken. I did get that knocked off but got large again in my late twenty's. But in all that, I was never addicted to food, it was generally me being lazy or even sugary sodas were one of my addictions. So I was trying to pin point what time it was that I became food addicted. It finally did come to me. I had quit one of the better jobs I have ever had to go to work with a friend of mine repossessing cars and eventually bail bonding. Well it seemed like from day one, we were competitive eaters with each other. WE just ate and ate and enjoyed ourselves all the time. Well, as doing business with friends almost always does, things went south and we had to go our separate ways. I went into pretty good depression at that time and at that point, I did start putting a premium on my eating to enjoy myself. I was addicted to fast food, home food, Wal Mart Deli food, you name it, I loved it. Now, here I am. Back on my way down once again but this time with an added knowledge and new determination, fueled by my love of my family and also partly due to my obligation to my fellow bloggers. I am confident that this knowledge helps me a to conquer this beast. I will win and I will take care of my family!

So can any of you my friends pinpoint the point in time you can say got you here in this place?

Finally terms I get

Hey guys. I won't do this often, but I found this article doing a Google search about how the fat we are burning is disposed of once we use it. I have always been curious where the heck that fat goes. I have found some explanations that I am guessing only Dr. F could get before, but this guy put it in terms I get. Enjoy.

http://www.ironmagazine.com/viewarticle-964.html

Day 52 Griffin's Gone Hiking Take 2!!

Ok, I have a new suggestion for those who are worried about binging. Get your hind end to Devil's Den State Park of Arkansas, take the Devil's Den Trial Hike, which they have labeled as moderate in difficulty (maybe at the higher spectrum of moderate, but I dunno), and don't even worry about overeating for at least that day. That would require getting off the couch or out of the recliner and that crap ain't happening! I am posting much earlier than usual today because I am likely gonna sack out a lot earlier than usual today based on today's hike and my energy level. It was a mile and a half of way up hill, way down hill, along the side of the Boston Mountains, more up hill, more down hill! It was a great workout, especially after having hit 3 miles this morning around the block. The trail is listed as 1.5 miles, so got around 4.5 miles of walking in, and the hike..... oy vay. I have a site I use to to check amount of calories burned with certain activities. For my weight it says I burned something like 1350 calories. Not sure I totally believe that, but I would be tempted to say maybe. One thing I know, I started off in a calorie deficit this morning and I am pretty sure before supper, I was in one too. We had re-runs today for lunch. We still had the deli meat and the sub rolls from yesterday, so that was lunch. I am glad we decided to eat before the hike, cause it was much more strenuous than any of us thought it was going to be. But make no mistake, we all loved it! There was so much natural beauty and it gave me a chance to show off to Lauren stuff I know and have learned in school the last three years. She may even think I am smart after today.

I have to tell you guys. I wish I didn't have to say this, but I do. I had my first slip up late last night. I fell asleep in my chair around 10 or so give or take. Well I had eaten my alotted 1800 before I conked out, but when I woke up, I went to the fridge and I got three more slices of turkey sandwich meat. I know that is not a great deal and I could have talked myself into saying I over-guessed somewhere and it was ok, but I am not that guy anymore. And I promised total honesty on this blog, and by damn I will have it. But I am kinda glad it happened and that it was not one of the old time fall off the wagons, but something I can totally fix. It was a slip up, but also a confidence in myself builder. NO bags of chips lost their lives, no hot dogs were sacrificed, and the birthday cake Pam left, still sitting in its container. Three pieces of turkey deli meat. Not bad for this fat boy.

I have not talked much about it, but I have pretty much given up all drinks but water. I do usually have a glass of tea maybe when I get home or after supper, but ice water is the norm in my hand. I have a couple of sodas throughout the week, but those are usually strategic, like before my night classes or when I want to show Kathy how much I love her after bed time.... tee hee. I am a little lost on how I can still be peeing yellow sometimes. Not a dark yellow, but some yellow nonetheless. I suppose it is not a big deal but it is puzzling. Anyway, I get like around 80 ounces of water each day and it seems to do a lot of good for me. I have read on some sites that water helps your kidneys function properly and lets the liver do its job of converting fat to usable energy. I honestly believe in my heart that I am gonna have a great loss this week!

Okay the part I know you all are waiting for, the menu of the day. Breakfast, as is normal now a days, one whole and two eggs whites with sauteed onions and mushrooms, and a side of jalapenos, 1/2 cup Special K and 1/2 cup milk, 220 calories. For a mid morning snack, I had one of my Sargento's pepper jack cheese sticks for 80 calories. After spending an hour planting flower bulbs I hope to have come up next year, I had an ounce of turkey deli meat for another snack for 70 calories. As I said, lunch was re-run of chicken deli meat sandwich on whole wheat deli roll and about 4 ounces of chicken deli meat with mustard ,for about 390 calories. When we got home, I knew it was gonna be a bit on supper, so I snagged another couple of ounces of meat for 100 calories. Then supper was 4 ounce chicken breast, or really it was 8 but i shared with the dogs so I wouldn't eat it all, and a couple of turkey sausages and a salad with low fat italian dressing. Supper rang in at 550 calories. Snack after supper was my yogurt, the key lime, for 80 calories and a cup of cantaloupe for 60 calories. All told, I had 1605 calories for the day and a crap ton of exercise that may well have wiped all those calories out! It has been a good day!

Okay here are a few pics from today's hike:

Day 51 Damn Birthday Cake!

Okay before I start bitching, I want to brag on me. I got this morning's 5k in in two minutes less than last week's!!! I was done in 50:30!!!!! And I didn't jog but the same distance as last week either, it was just me walking faster and harder than before. So I am hanging my hat on that and hoping to knock another minute off next week and maybe start jogging the last two laps on the straight to my house.

Ok, I know the title insinuates that I ate birthday cake all day, but I didn't. I had one piece and I scraped most of the icing off, but still, it kinda ruined my day as far as quality eating. We did have deli sandwiches for our unexpected get together at my house to watch the Hog game. I had one sandwich on a deli roll for 400 calories the another half sandwich on regular sandwich bread for 165 calories. I know Christine will prolly rag me about the bread, but it was good and it was whole wheat. I had yogurt for my snack and then I ate a couple of slices of chicken deli meat that we had and that rounded out my 1800 for the day. Honestly, take the cake out and I had a great eating day. I am really liking the new formula of one whole egg and two egg whites in a scramble. It keeps me full for the morning. And Kathy's tuna salad never gets old.

I had a great time during the get together. I am learning that the food is not the attraction just as Sean says, it is the company. I normally would have gone all nuts on the stuff we had here, but what I ate was both sensible and I practiced portion control. It was a victory for me! I am going to work on eating even less the next get together. I am also debating about not worrying about offending anyone by not eating something I don't want to. I really didn't want the birthday cake today, but It was a birthday party and I got fixed a piece. I did refuse the ice cream though. So there is that. I would have loved to use those 200 calories elsewhere, but hey the past is the past.

I am really psyched about going hiking tomorrow, but my baby Lauren has the sniffles pretty bad and I am not sure she will have the wind to go on a three mile hike tomorrow. I thing Kathy gave her some mucinex to see if it was just allergies, so if she dries up, it is a go! I will try to get some pictures of the awesome overlook on the trail we are going on. I think you will be impressed.

Don't know what my deal is, but I am feeling extremely skinny the last few days. I am not complaining either. I was not a fan of the feeling fat phase and prefer this much more!

Time for bed folks. I will catch ya'll tomorrow and hopefully report no more birthday cake eaten! grrrrrr!!

Day 50 Not A Fan of 1800

Happy three day weekend!!!!! I hope everyone has big plans and they all turn out great!!

I can't believe I am at day 50!! It honestly seems like it was like last week I started. So today, I am just shy of my 1800 and I am not happy to have had that many calories nor am I particularly happy with what I had for supper or a snack. Sit a spell and I will tell you the sources of my unhappiness. First, I forgot that tonight was spaghetti night and I was told about it like 3 times this week. So I did fine with my meals throughout the day for the suppers we have been having lately, but I was at 865 calories after lunch. I ran the calories on the spaghetti that Kathy was gonna cook up when she got home. We have bowls that I found out are two cups apiece and so I use those for meals like this where a cup measurement will tell me how many calories. So after running the calories, I only got to have 3/4 of a bowl of spaghetti and it was 600 calories! Seriously not worth the investment. I don't know what to do on those nights though because I don't want Kathy to get mad at me for not eating what she cooked, but I just don't like that ratio. So on top of that, we have our old neighbor girl spending the night with us and Pam, her mom, left half a pizza and half a birthday here! I had 200 calories to spare after some sugar free pudding and a piece of cantaloupe, so I cut a slice in half and had 150 calories to end the night. It was Little Caesars, so it was not that great either. so today, while strictly constructed was a success, it was not my favorite day. However, I do have some excitement about this weekend, and I am so ready to get up tomorrow and do my 5k for time. I am weird but I so look forward to it I love finishing up those things. I am debating about jogging the stretch of road in front of my house each lap to see what kind of time I come up with then!

I found out that the reason kids don't get fat so fast is because playing on the playground, it is a workout! I took Miss Hannah Banana today while Kathy and Izetta got a real walk in. Hannah is Izetta's daughter and she makes one lap around the park track and is done. So I played on the playground stuff with her for about 45 minutes and I tell ya what, it was hard work! From there, I went to school to read the chapter I should have before today. I got done about a half hour earlier than I planned and in the past, never would have moved from that bench, but I got antsy as soon as I got done so I took a walk around campus and fell back in love with it. On a regular basis, I get that feeling of pride that I am in school and really making something of myself!! I guess that kinda fits under last nights post too as far as really being there and cognizant of what is going on.

Tomorrow is going to be a clean eating day and I am going to another pizza joint to watch the Hogs play some football!! Luckily, they have a salad bar!! I will make that my meal tomorrow night. We are going with Jason and Izetta and all the girls, and that may make us all crazy before the game ends. The girls are all a handful by themselves and get them together and holy moly!

I am gonna sign off her and finish this game. I can't believe that Arizona v. Toledo is on ESPN during primetime! But it hasn't been a bad game so I am gonna keep watching. Good night all and love ya miss ya!

Day 49 Can't Get That Number Out of My Head!!

Good evening bloggers and bloggerettes. I had me a great day today and I want to talk about it. Which kinda works out since this is my blog and all! So today was that perfect storm for me. I ate great, with some adjustments to my menu, I exercised great and had a great time living life and not being in my own head for the whole evening. I often wonder if we as a nation haven't lost a little something in trying to be industrious. Tonight I had the greatest time at the high school track again, just being in a crowd of people that were practicing cheerleading, practicing football, some were out walking and some kids there had a Ferrari remote control car that I was debating about snagging and running off with. I really took it all in and appreciated it for what it was. I didn't think about work, I didn't think about school, I really didn't think about anything but what lap I was on and I lost track once but I figured it out. Then, I met Kathy and Lauren over at the school's tornado shelter building where they were taking part in the Girl Scouts recruitment that was being put on tonight. I then got to visit with one of my dear friends who is the mom of the troop leader. Miss Rosie and I have the best conversations and can go on and on for an hour or better. So we talked a good while about this and that and it was just nice to get to visit with her and catch up. She used to be a teacher and she has some great stories let me tell you! I wish we all could experience the nice evening I had tonight, outside of my own head.

So on to the activity and food part of the day. I took Doc's and Christine's words to heart the other day and modified my breakfast. I cut out the fruit, and now i have two egg whites, one whole egg scrambled together with some jalapenos and the half cup Special K and half cup of 1 percent milk. For my snacks, I had 1/2 of a convenience store bag of peanuts, 7 habanero flavored almonds, and of course the tuna with brown mustard. Lunch was my pita with two ounces of turkey and supper was Taco Bell's Fresco Chicken Burrita and half a mini quesadilla. When I got home, I had a cup of yogurt, a stalk of celery with 1 1/2 tablespoons of peanut butter and a sargento pepper jack cheese stick. All told I had 1,590 calories for the day. Now the strange part. I think I have become addicted to walking folks. I am not being funny. I walk every time I get a chance! I walked a total of 4 1/4 miles today! I got out of the house early today and so I went to Wal Mart and got three laps in, then back at lunch and got 6 more, for about 2 1/4 miles, then 2 miles at the track
tonight! I am trying to figure out when I am gonna get one in tomorrow even though I usually take Friday off to get ready for the weekend 5k's. I may need help ya'll.

So on to the title. I am aware it is a week away from weigh day. But dude, I can't get the number 259 out of my head. I honestly don't know that it is obtainable. I had those two big losses in a row and the last one was 7 pounds lost to 268. I would need to lose 9 pounds this go around and I just don't know if that will happen. But 259 is just there. I keep seeing it in my minds eye. I have decided not to over do it to get there, but I will be on the straight and narrow and in no way jeapordizing any shot I may have at getting there!!

I guess I will get off here and see what the back of my eyelids look like tonight. I sure do look forward to seeing ya'll tomorrow. Love ya, miss ya!!

Day 48 An Analogy That May Not Work on a Blog

Michele had a post today that got me to thinking. She talked about binging and how we all have an innate fear of falling off the wagon one day and going on a binge. But it is just that, a fear. Not based in fact or in anyway supported. I know you are gonna say the past supports the fear. Well the recent past says it is more likely to not happen than it is. The recent past is precedent now. It is the law of the land, it is just your job to uphold it.

I now work in a law firm and I love it, but before that, I worked in primarily industrial jobs. I was never the guy that was on the line packing or whatever, I always had support jobs like maintenance or set up of machinery. So anyway, one of the jobs was at a factory that specialized in resistance welding, which is a fancy way of saying we put two pieces of metal together, run a great deal of electricity through it and melt them together but in a controlled manner. So all 12 hours, I worked on machines that used high voltage electricity. So one of the first things I was ever taught was that you cannot be afraid of electricity. You must have a healthy respect for it, but you can't be afraid. Once you have fear, you act irrationally and that is when you make mistakes and get hurt. I am glad to say that after three years, I only got bit once by the electricity. Now, this may not come out as good in print as it did in my head, but I look at food comparably to electricity. They both occur naturally, and we have the power to harness them for our own purposes. So, it stands to reason I should apply the same principles that I use in dealing with food as I did dealing with electricity. I have to respect food, it has the ability to hurt me if I do not, but I don't fear it. Not anymore. It has been tamed and contained in my life. I work with it without fear and with complete control. Once I show fear, I stand the chance of losing, and I can't take that chance, not any more.

So I have been getting alot of comments from my regular commenters and some folks that do not always comment. Many of them say that I am an enjoyable read and a bit of an inspiration to folks. I am too lazy to go back and look at all the comments to find out who all said these nice things about me, but if you are one of those folks, Thanks so much from the bottom of my heart. I really do love this blog and all it does for me, but I also love knowing that someone out there gets something from this blog. I with all my heart hope to help someone see that this is possible, that the journey may be long, but it is what you make of it. I try to keep an upbeat and positive attitude and moving forward. I want to be someone else's Sean one day. If that happens, that would be the coolest thing ever!!

I have taken an extraordinarily long time to type this while Kathy and I have watched the Notebook. I have to say, not a bad movie folks. I like it well enough that if Kathy buys it, I won't grouse too much. Well I am gonna get off here and say good night.